Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Hearts of Swords ❯ Chapter V - Tentative ( Chapter 5 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

* * * R E C A P * * *

"Usagi...don't go," Rei pleaded quietly. "Please."

Cerulean blue met vivid amethyst, and for a fleeting moment, they bared their
souls to each other in their gaze that searched into the other's. The love, the
passion, the pain and sorrow...it was all present in both of their eyes, and
the intensity of it was undeniable. Love was what bound them together.

In a heartbeat, lips made contact with lips and electricity flowed between the
two girls. Raw passion and wanton need burned within them, tempered by love. It
was undeniable in their kiss; they were in love with each other. Such a short
span of time had passed between them, and already they were deeply in love.

A pair of hands cupped Rei's breasts and she gasped into the kiss, giving Usagi
access to the heated caverns of her mouth. Their tongues met and battled for
supremacy over the other. Rei's hands became vagabond as they roamed over the
clothed form of her partner. Usagi's hands had already untied the sash that
kept her yukata closed and the cool night air caressed her form with its chilly
touch, sending a shiver down her spine.

They broke away from the kiss, breathless and filled with ardour. Rei's hands
busied themselves to remove Usagi's ebony colored gi and moaned as she felt the
girl's bare flesh against her hands. It was a thrill to feel her same alabaster
skin against hers. Her breath hitched as Usagi's calloused fingers teased her
nipples to peak, and she returned the favor to the smaller girl. Hearing a
quiet moan from the blond warrior, she continued in her ministrations. However,
it was cut off when the palm of her hand brushed against the underside of her
breasts.

"Usagi...so good..."

The said blond's lips touched her face, and Usagi marveled at the smooth skin
under her hands. They were pale and creamy; framed by the midnight black
tresses it was a very seductive contrast that called to her like a temptress.
Such an innocent girl. Her lips traveled to and fro, finally settling upon the
nape of her partner's neck. A hiss escaped the ebony-haired girl as she felt
the soft, velvet lips against her sensitive skin and the soft, firm breasts
pushing against her back.

Flesh met flesh and Rei's nerves jumped at the contact, sending a bolt of white
hot pleasure through her body. A needy whimper escaped her lips and she arched
into the touch, the pleasure unrelenting in its demand to be quenched by the
silky touch of the blond.

However, it was that needy whimper that stopped Usagi. She came crashing back
into reality and she realized their position. She realized that this was why
she had been off-balance, uncentered. It was her desire for Rei that had made
her preoccupied with petty dreams and fantasies. Now, they were becoming real,
and it was...addictive and heady.

"Usagi...are you all right?" Rei asked breathlessly.

She tore herself from the grip and fell to the ground on her hands and knees.
In such a short span of time, she had lost all control and had been on the
verge of making love with the one person that she had tried to protect, tried
to shield from her inner darkness.

"I...We cannot do this. It...it's *wrong* and *I'm* wrong..." Usagi stammered
incoherently.

The dark-haired girl was at her side. "Are you all right?"

"This...this can't...you have *no* idea what you do to me..." the blond choked
out in a pained whisper. "I cannot...cannot let you throw me off-balance...you
are my love, my life and my death. You..."

Pulling the shorter girl into her arms, she murmured, "Hush. It's all right. I
understand."

Usagi violently ripped herself away from the embrace. "No! You don't! You don't
know what it's like to be constantly walking on the edge of death and knowing
that even a *FRACTION* of a step in the wrong direction will kill you! That...
that is why I cannot...cannot bring myself to love you. I won't die and I will
*not* let you die with me either!!"

Rei stared in shock, concern and fear as the blond struggled towards the door.
In a desperate attempt, she grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down onto the
ground. Finally letting the last of the walls that she had carefully built to
guard her heart fall into nothingness, she clutched at the blond and let the
tears fall. "You can't go! I won't let you! I *love* you! Isn't that enough? I
can help you, *love* you! Please...don't go. Don't leave me."


* * END CHAPTER IV * *


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H E A R T S O F S W O R D S

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"I'll give you hope
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call
When standing here all alone..."

Chapter V - Tentative
[Sengoku Period, 1512]


It was not lost on either Haruka and Michiru of their housemates' activities.
They had heard the words, and the soft medley of gasps and whimpers, and heard
the uncertanity, confusion and fear in the normally stoic warrior. Lying in the
futon together afterwards, there was one question left in their minds.

'Was it truly love?'

Usagi's life was shrouded in secrey and darkness, pain and bitter guilt clawing
at her, while Rei's life was surrounded by poverty and anger. So alike in many
ways, yet so different in just as many. Words had been traded and could not be
taken back, but did they truly love each other?

The blond's idle thoughts were cut off as a delicately feminine hand rubbed
absently over her abdomen. Craning her neck to peer down at the offending
appendange and its owner, she was greeted by the sight of an unusually subdued
and fear-stricken Michiru. She realized now that the touch was to assure the
reality of their relationship. Michiru had heard Usagi's grief-stricken speech
and had been overwhelmingly affected.

"It's all right love. I'm here," she murmured soothingly. "I'm here, and I'll
*always* be here."

Bits and pieces of their stoic blond's past was coming together, and it seemed
like a very tragic, bloody past. She had said 'seventeen' years of bloodshed,
and seven years of it spent as a samurai. She sighed quietly, absently stroking
her lover's hand with her long fingers. Such a pure heart did not deserve this
kind of death-filled life. She deserved happiness and freedom. She deserved...

...Rei.

"Haruka?"

"Hmm?"

Sh e looked down at her lover's eyes to find emotions swirling in them with a
fervor she hadn't seen before. Uncertainty, love, hope and fear swirled
together, and Haruka understood. She shifted to her side and brushed her lips
against hers. Soon, their kiss deepened and the pair found themselves lost in a
storm of love and sensations.

And the first rays of the sun looked on.

* * * * *

Cerulean blue eyes flickered open at the beams of light that kissed her eyelids
and brought her into consciousness. The first thing she noticed was that her
mind was very much unfocused. In this foggy state of mind, she also noticed
that there was someone lying against her, and hazy eyes looked down to see
ebony black locks and the sleeping form of Rei. She then realized that they had
their arms around each other.

Baffled by this development, she tried to remember what had happened last night
that had led them to...this. The events suddenly came rushing back at her, and
she smiled quietly and carefully ran her hands through the silky black locks of
her...

'Friend? Lover?' she thought. 'What are we now? We are both women...but that is
not my concern. Where do we stand with each other? What really is...love? Can I
ever learn to love her?'

A soft sigh escaped ruby red lips as the sleeping girl unconsciously snuggled
closer to the warmth that was radiating from Usagi's body. The small act of
intimacy and trust elicited a tender smile and the whole world held its breath
as hard, stone-like cerulean melted into a soft azure and gently kissed the
girl's forehead. This golden moment would forever be remembered by the sun, the
look of compassion and love forever etched into timeless features of a goddess.

The soft feel of lips against her skin roused her from her warm, comfortable
slumber. Murky amethyst paled to lavender in the morning looked up to find a
shade of clear blue in the eyes of her lover and her breath caught. She was a
goddess, with sun-kissed blond hair and eyes full of purity and light. A smile
graced her lips as she murmured, "Good morning."

"Good morning," Usagi replied quietly.

Sharing a brief kiss, the two stood up and stretched. Usagi grabbed her katana,
and absently traced the design on her scabbard. Rei noticed the motion and
examined the katana. It was a beautiful design and she wondered whether people
noticed it before they died at her hands. Shaking her head to remove such dark
thoughts, she walked out of the room and headed for the bath.

Usagi watched with tender azure eyes as the ever-so-sensuous figure of the dark
haired girl walk down the short hall to the bath. Smiling, she safely tucked
her katana, scabbard and all, into the waistband of her yukata before walking
down the hallway as well. She headed for the small dining room, and distinctly
heard Haruka and Michiru's voices crying out in an impassioned frenzy. Blushing
lightly, she closed her eyes and continued on her way.

* * * * *

The six of them were seated and eating their breakfast. Setsuna and Makoto bid
them all a warm greeting before leaving the small house, knowing that it was
their shift today. That left Haruka, Michiru, Rei and Usagi sitting at the
table, an atmosphere of tension and awkwardness hanging over them. Rei had also
heard the older couple's lovemaking and had been actuely aware that she and her
lover had been on the verge of doing the same thing the previous night. Usagi
sat quietly, methodically eating her miso soup.

Unable to cope with the suffocating silence, Rei stormed away from the table,
muttering under her breath. The other three watched in curiosity and concern as
the dark-haired girl forcefully ripped open the shoji and stomped outside. Two
pairs of eyes settled on the blond warrior.

"What's wrong with her?"

Shrugging helplessly, Usagi excused herself *politely* and strode after her, a
small frown upon her face. Haruka and Michiru could only watch as the girl
stepped outside and soon, voices could be heard.

"...quiet in there."

"Does silence bother you that much?"

Grinning, Haruka continued with her meal, but not before calling loudly, "We
heard you two last night!"

Michiru frowned at her partner, who smiled sheepishly as she continued to eat.
The two girls' voices faded away as they walked away from the building. Michiru
allowed a small smile to grace her lips as she prayed for them silently.

* * * * *

She smiled at him demurely as she poured his drink, and he returned a wan smile
to satisfy her. He knew that the girl was smitten with him, but his heart had
been stolen by someone else. He tried to shake those thoughts out of his mind
as he shared a meal with his men and drank sake, sharing tales from the past as
well as the most recent battlefield stories. The blond warrior had struck again
at their men, and he couldn't help but boil in his anger. How could *ONE* man
defeat some of his *best* men? It was impossible!

He scowled as his blue eyes glared daggers at the offering of sake in front of
him, paying no heed to the other occupants in the room. The men around him
watched him with worried eyes but tried to hide their gazes from him. The eyes
of their master could pierce a man's soul and they were always guarded and
devoid of warmth.

Ever since General Furuhata's death, their leader, the son of the Murakami's
clan leader had become exceedingly reclusive and violent in their skirmishes.
Although they had no qualms about their leader's abilities, they were concerned
about the unnecessary bloodshed. The code of a samurai was that they did not
kill innocents. They knew that their samurais were currently having internal
conflicts due to this.

"My Lord, the samurais are currently in conflict with each other," one elderly
man said respectfully. "The way of the samurai is conflicting with their orders
from you, my Lord."

"I don't care about whether they need a goddamn nanny to hold their hands while
they try to decide!" he snarled. "I want that Warrior *ANNIHILATED*!!!"

Flinching at the tone, they hurriedly blabbered an apology and hastily left the
room. When he was alone, he stood up and stormed back into his quarters and
entered a small chamber. It was private and hidden away from prying eyes, where
he could sulk without interruptions. His gaze landed on the painting in the
room.

A sensuous, lithe figure stood in the painting, dressed in an ornate kimono.
Her long hair fell to her calves, with the red obi tied into an intricate bow
at the waist. The kimono was a pale pink in color with lavendar print, and
her feet were bare as she stood in water. The background was a night picture
with the water rippling around her, and her beseeching blue eyes and overtly
feminine features beckoning him like a temptress.

It was the only lasting remains he had of her, a painting he had begged for
during one of their heated rendezvous in Edo. He sighed as he turned away from
the painting; it brought painful memories that he did not wish to remember. The
only thing that dulled the pain was his work and bloodshed.

Nobody realized that with each splash of blood of those who didn't deserve
their death, he was selling his soul to the Devil. He was hopelessly lost in a
web of death and blood, and there was nobody there to guide him out of the
grave he had dug for himself.

So he would lie in his own grave, hoping that he would see his sunshine's smile
once more.

* * * * *

The pair walked through the streets of the city, enjoying the perfect summer
weather. It was a day of peace and love for the two of them. Despite their
unceremonious meeting and even more confusing joining, they walked through the
streets with their heads held high and hearts singing with joy.

Oblivious to the fact that their fragile world of peace would soon come undone
and shatter the day. They stopped in a slightly more secluded part of the city
and shared a soft, tender kiss. A blush painted the blond's cheeks and just as
she was about to say something, the sound of horses' hooves trampling nearby
alerted her of coming danger.

"Stay here," she said firmly.

"Wha? Usagi, what...?" the other stammered.

Usagi ran off back into the crowd of the city, and she followed. The sounds of
a battle began to rise up around her as people screamed and dashed into the
safety of the nearest building. The clash of metal against metal suddenly cut
into the atmosphere like it would through flesh.

She tried to find the source, and that was when she stumbled upon a sight she
wished she hadn't seen. The blond stood in an offensive stance like an avenging
angel, her katana cutting into the exposed flesh through the chainmail that
they wore. Blood splashed onto the ground and the horse neighed and stood on
its back legs, before running off. The blond spun gracefully in this deadly
dance of death as the sharp edge of her blade sliced through the enemy samurai.

Cerulean blue eyes were hardened like chips of diamond; her attacks were
relentless and merciless. Whoever stepped in the path of her glinting blade
were cut down with a splash of red blood. And there were already many bodies
littering the ground. She clasped both of her hands over her mouth, a futile
attempt to stop the bile from rising in her throat.

Several more minutes passed and it seemed like the numbers of the enemy were
limitless. A sound behind her alerted her of another presence and she spun to
find a man rushing at her. A scream tore itself from her throat, her eyes
clenched shut. She would die.

'Oh God...Usagi...Usagi no...' she thought frantically.

Awaiting her deathblow, she stood silently, but it never came. She carefully
opened one eye to find Usagi standing there, eyes swimming with pain. Blood was
running from a large wound which was bleeding profusely. The other man's eyes
widened as the relentless blond cursed him coldly before jabbing her sword into
his right eye and tore his face open. Unable to hold back, she slumped to her
knees and vomited.

Usagi slowly turned around, one hand clasped tightly over her gaping wound. It
would require several stitches to close, that much she knew. Thankfully, she
had heard the scream and arrived in the nick of time to take the attack. Her
foolish opponent had no real mastery of the sword, and this would have killed
her beloved if she hadn't arrived on time to take the wound instead. It was a
slash wound that hadn't been too deep. She had deflected some of the attack by
twisting her body, so the wound had missed vital organs. She knelt down by her
lover and soothingly rubbed her back.

'I'm so sorry...so sorry you had to see that...' she thought morosely.

Rei stopped retching several minutes later, and Usagi gathered the girl into
her arms, carefully making sure that her bloodstained garment would not stain
the other girl's kimono. She rocked the traumitized girl back and forth, her
voice a low, sensuous croon as she murmured sweet nothings and reassurance to
the raven haired girl.

Amethyst eyes looked up into indigo blue and realized that they weren't the
hardened copies of the jewels that she loved gazing into. Sighing in relief,
she pulled herself closer into the warmth that was Usagi's body. Usagi's low,
crooning voice was like a lullaby. "It'll be all right...I'm sorry you had to
see me like that...so sorry..."

She had drifted off into a light slumber and Usagi sighed quietly in relief. It
would now resemble a distant nightmare to her, so this way she could keep the
secret about just how different she was in battle. Hard and unyielding was not
what she wanted Rei to witness or experience. She wanted her to experience love
and joy, warmth and security. Some things that she herself had never been
fortunate enough to have. And so it was then that she uttered the words she
hesitated in saying to the girl while she was awake. "Aishiteru Rei."

Upon their arrival at their humble abode, Haruka and Michiru met them with
worried looks. Rei's pallor was still ashen but was slowly returning to its
normal tone. Usagi's side was still bleeding and Michiru ushered them into the
house and fetched the bandages. Usagi was having difficulty with staying
conscious. Rei was just beginning to stir as Usagi passed out from the blood
loss. The last thing she heard before she succumbed to the darkness was the
faint voice of her partner crying out in distress.

* * * * *

When she finally opened her eyes, she had to scrunch her eyes closed once more
because the light was too bright for her eyes. It took several moments for her
to register in her hazy mind that she was lying on a futon with a dull pain in
her side. Carefully she peered down to find a bandage wrapped tightly around
the wound, and the warmth of someone else's arm around her waist above the area
of the injury. Rei. She smiled softly before turning to look into her lover's
face.

The normally expressionless countenance had melted away and left the face of an
angel in its wake. Her silky beige skin was not marred by a frown, but soft and
peaceful as it should be. The velvet soft lips were curved slightly to form a
content smile and suddenly she found herself running her hand through the silky
raven tresses. 'Would this last,' she wondered to herself. 'Will these precious
moments of peace last for me, for *us*?'

Her train of thoughts was broken by the stirring of the other occupant in the
room, and azure met amethyst just as ruby red lips met the pink of her own in
the heartbeat just after. When they parted to restore air into their lungs, Rei
pulled herself closer to the smaller blond's body and murmured, "I thought I
had lost you. You just...keeled over and I was afraid."

"It's all right. *I'm* alright," Usagi said firmly. "There's no need for you to
worry. It's just a scratch."

"You bleeding all over the floor isn't *just* a scratch, Usagi-san.," another
voice cut in dryly.

Rei and Usagi looked to find Setsuna standing in the doorway, concern swimming
in her exotic crimson eyes. Many people shunned her because of them, calling
her a 'heathen'. They were filled with amusement behind the concern, due to the
fact that Rei was currently half-nude with her figure draped possessively and
temptingly over Usagi's smaller form, who was also partially nude with a hazy
look in her eyes. It was quite a sight to see and she chuckled quietly, and was
pleasantly surprised to elicit a blush from both people.

"Are you all right Usagi-san?" Setsuna asked.

"I'm fine," Usagi replied. "And it's Usagi, Setsuna-dono."

"Only if you stop calling me 'dono' Usagi-san," Setsuna retorted with an
enigmatic smile.

The blond smiled and nodded. With some effort, she stood up on her feet and
balanced herself before she could walk. Upon the restoration of her equilibrium
and sense, she made her way to the kitchen. She couldn't risk her wound to
become infected. She was then greeted by Haruka and Makoto, who were cooking
breakfast.

Back in the room, Setsuna sat down by Rei. "Is there something wrong?"

"There's...a gap in my memory..." Rei confessed quietly. "I remember being out
in the city with Usagi, and then her running off to somewhere else. Then it all
becomes blank and the next thing is me waking up to see Usagi pass out from the
blood loss."

Nodding, Setsuna told her that there had been a group of samurai who had come
to Kyoto to try to invade it. Usagi had run off to participate in the battle.
Accepting this answer, Rei asked, "Then how did I blank out?"

"Usagi told me that someone used the Chinese acupuncture pressure points to put
you to sleep," Setsuna replied. "They tried to kidnap you, it seems but Usagi
got there just in time to...'defeat' the enemy."

Of course, that was a bald-faced lie but Rei accepted this answer as well. It
was imperative to Usagi that Rei knew nothing about what Usagi was capable of
in battle. Setsuna had accidentally stumbled upon the battle during her shift
with Makoto and could not believe the diminutive blond's sheer strength, speed
and precision. Her enemies were cut down with cold, clinical efficiency and it
terrified them.

The two of them then got up to join the others for breakfast. Their breakfast
was already there, and that was when Usagi stood up and gave a chaste kiss to
the dark-haired girl. "I have some duties to take care of. I'll be back later
today."

Rei nodded. "I'll see you later?"

Usagi nodded. "Hai."

With that, the blond left the small hovel, a small smile on the girl's face
which mirrored the same one that was on Rei's face. Rei placed her fingertips
where Usagi's lips had touched them and smiled softly. A tentative start, but
a start nonetheless.

For the first time, Rei found herself laughing and smiling without reason.

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Author's Notes:

After all this time, I finally finished Chapter 5. I was very much stuck on
this chapter, but I finally found the will to continue. The next chapter will
feature an in-depth look into Usagi's past.

If you've noticed the various absences of many characters, that is because I
have plans for them. Minako has actually appeared in the story, but that is up
to you to figure out just where. :) All I can tell you is that she poses as a
geisha, and she will meet Usagi.

I've thought up of a perfect ending for this story, but then it would mean that
I would have to completely ruin the entire samurai effect for this story, but
trust me, you'll find several lemons on the way to the end. I know that I will
be inserting a heterosexual lemon in here soon. VERY soon. You'll also have the
first real appearance of...Mamoru!

For prior warning, Usagi's past is very very angsty and violent. I will change
the rating from R to NC-17 due to the graphic nature of the next chapter. For
all the brainless twit-ness that Usagi is, I'm paying that back by making her a
very tragic character.

By the way, the title is still tentative. ;)

[E-mail: sherazard_@hotmail.com]
[Website: http://ashura.br0ken.org]
[Weblog: http://ashura.br0ken.org/blog/index.htm]

1st draft: Completed. (08.17.2002)

TRANSLATION:

aishiteru - I love you
kimono - A garment worn by both men and women in Japan.
Edo - The name for Tokyo before the end of the Edo era.


Resources:

http://home.austin.rr.com/scajapan/H ISTORY.HTM
http://victorian.fortunecity.com/duchamp/410/shogun.html
http://home.earthlink.net/~steinrl/glossary.htm