Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Hey, Venus! ❯ The First Date ( Chapter 2 )

A/N: Okay, so now the plot's really going to start to get going. The first chapter was pretty much a little teaser. (This is the part I was really looking forward to writing.)

 

Chapter Two: The First Date

 

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match

Find me a find, catch me a catch

—Fiddler on the roof

 

 

The tables had already been booked. (The Love Goddess really would handle everything, even reservations; it was all right there in the pink and white flyers Minako had handed out.)

 

From the bushes beneath the bay window of Chez Délicieux, one of the ritziest ultra-bargain-priced restaurants in town (hey, her clients were on a budget), Minako frantically adjusted her new binoculars. Those stupid mint green chiffon curtains blocked her view of the corner of the restaurant. Whoever heard of min green curtains, anyway? She hoped that they'd be seated somewhere in the middle.

 

Minako was determined to see that nothing went wrong. Nothing. This would be the most perfect, most romantic date that either Katashi or Ume ever had the privilege of meeting their life-long significant other at. It is important to point out that Minako was not naïve. She did not have a head full of `unrealistic expectations', like that nasty and probably lovelorn Mrs. Nakahara had told her. She knew that dates were tricky things. Indeed, once she had eaten a whole box full, and she had certainly not had a very pleasant night then. But, aside from the dates and the French food served at the restaurant, (which had never agreed with her personally), Minako also knew that the Game of Love was not one to be played lightly. It had its ups and downs, and sometimes, you were sent to jail without collecting your $200 or passing go. Sometimes, somebody sunk your battleship.

 

That was what she was here for. When the evil battleship of Anti-Affection left the port of Loneliness and headed after the jolly Schooner of Romantic Bliss, she'd be there! When the waves of Discontent began to swallow the Love Boat she'd be there! When the three-pronged anchor of Awkward Conversation, Discord and Morning Breath halted the speedboat of—well, you get the picture. Minako would be there. (Except for the morning breath part. Then she'd be there only in spirit. The Love Goddess greatly values dental hygiene.)

 

So long as she was supervising, she was sure that she would be able to help avert any major date pitfalls.

 

“Aha!” Minako muttered into the walkie-talkie. “The love-birds have landed! Get ready! Over and out!”

 

Of course, she had needed some help. Even the Goddess of Love can't do everything by herself.

 

“I don't see them, Mina—I mean, Agent Candy-Heart!” came the reply. Minako sighed.

 

“To the left, Agent Jellybean. By that guy with the ugly mustache.”

 

Static buzzed over the speakers.

 

“A potted plant's in my way!”

 

“Try moving to the right.”

 

“I can't! My disguise is caught in the bush.”

 

“Well, don't blow your cover. Just hold still and I'll tell you what's going on.”

 

The world was not very enlightened, these days. Because of this, Minako had deemed it necessary to obtain disguises for herself and her top agent. (The cool nicknames were just another bonus.) Certainly, Luna wouldn't miss the Luna pen. Or, at least, she would understand that they were using it for a good cause. Yes. Of course…

 

“Okay, they're sitting down at the table… he's pulling out her chair for her!”

 

On the other end of the walkie-talkie, Agent Jellybean squealed. “How romantic!”

 

“Oh, wait. No. He's sitting down in the chair he pulled out. She looks a little peeved…but, you know, it could be an honest misunderstanding. Yes. The waiter's handing them their menus.”

 

“Can you see what they're ordering?”

 

“No, and I can't hear through the window…hold on, she's turning her menu. Yes, I can get a good view of the daily specials!”

 

“Ooo! What's on it?” Agent Jellybean salivated on the other end of the line.

 

“Escar-got,” Agent Candy-Heart sounded out, “Oh, escargot!” All of a sudden, she felt rather ill as the memory of escargot from times past flashed through her mind. French really had never agreed with her…if only her clients hadn't both expressed an interest in it.

 

“Does that have any carrots in it?”

 

“Um, no. It's snail.”

 

“People eat that?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Is it good?”

 

“Um…” here, Agent Candy-Heart's stomach did a little flip. “It doesn't agree with me.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Slight pause.

 

“Mina—I mean, Agent Candy-Heart?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Agent Candy-Heart could hear sounds of squirming over the speaker.

 

“Can't you hold it?”

 

“Yes—no, maybe. Um. I think so. Probably.”

 

“Alright, good. Oh, the waiter's taking their order now! They're giving him the menus…and, okay, the waiter's gone. They're talking!”

 

“What are they saying? What are they saying?”

 

“I don't know, I can't hear anything.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“She's smiling!”

 

“Aw! She is?”

 

“He's smiling!”

 

“Is there, is there—“

 

“Yep, there's definite laughter! I spied a chortle or two!”

 

“They're made for each other! You sure are good at this, M—Agent Candy-Heart.”

 

“Thank you for saying so! I only wish we could hear what they're saying.”

 

“I bet it's all really romantic!”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Pause.

 

“What's happening now?”

 

“Hmm…I don't know. I think they're just getting to know each other better. Oh, wait. She's standing up. She's walking over to him!”

 

A high-pitched squeal sounded from the walkie-talkie.

 

“What's she doing now? What's he doing? Are they still smiling? I wanna know!”

 

“Um… hold on… he's smiling, kind of. Her back's toward me now, so I can't really tell.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“She's waving her arms. Oh, now he's standing up too… “

 

“They sure are having an animated discussion!”

 

“She's—she's picking up her water glass. All that witty lovers' banter must be making her thirsty.”

 

“Ooh!”

 

“She's raising the water to her—wait. She's throwing the water in his face! There's a chunk of ice in his hair!” Agent Candy-Heart hyperventilated.

 

“What?”

 

“She's storming out!”

 

“Hey, she just walked past me! She looked really angry. I guess they weren't getting along so well after all.”

 

“No, it can't be! Their papers landed on top of each other! It's a sign…this all must be a big misunderstanding.” Agent Candy-Heart ran her fingers through her hair.

 

“I dunno, Agent Candy-Heart. Throwing water on somebody is a pretty definite bad sign.”

 

“Um, well…maybe he was hot? It must be very warm in there.”

 

“What about the storming out in a huff part?”

 

“She could've…forgotten to feed her dog or turn off the oven or something…yeah.”

 

Static rustling came through the speaker.

 

Agent Candy-Heart sighed. “Okay, maybe I'd better talk to them.”

 

“Yeah, um, Mina? Mina?”

 

“I remember, you have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right over to get you out of that bush—“

 

“That's good but, Mina hurry! Oh no! Ume!”

 

“What about Ume?” Minako jerked out of the bushes, stray leaves falling off her costume. She jogged to the other side of the building, attracting more than a few confused stares. (It's not every day that one sees a girl dressed entirely in a pants-suit of green plastic leaves running past a French restaurant hollering into a walkie-talkie to someone named `Agent Jellybean'.)

 

“Did Ume find you out? Did she say anything about Katashi? Did she—“ The walkie-talkie dropped to the ground as Minako reached her destination. Her mouth fell agape.

 

“Ume, Usagi, oh no! Not again!”

 

“I think we need a little help…” said Usagi, struggling against her bonds.

 

The water in the tank got higher and a huge pink thing rolled into view.