Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Hold Me Once Again ❯ Hurt ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: LunarMiasma 
Haruka contemplates the past and how she hurt both her beloved and herself.
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 01.29.2007 | Updated On: 01.29.2007 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 585 | Status: Work In Progress
Haruka contemplates the past and how she hurt both her beloved and herself.
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama | Type: Songfic | Uploaded On: 01.29.2007 | Updated On: 01.29.2007 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.2K | Visits: 585 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and its characters are owned by Takeuchi Naoko.
This is purely fan-made. The song lyrics belong to Christina Aguilera.
Haruka glared out the window absent-mindedly. All had seemed far too quiet
for her liking since Michiru left. A few weeks prior to the present they had
gotten into a heated argument about their priorities, causing the aqua-haired
lady to move away from Haruka. the sandy blonde pressed her fingers against
the frosty window, watching the raindrops fall down gracefully. She remembered
how Michiru often enjoyed gazing out the window at the falling rain. She said
it calmed her and made the outside world feel peaceful, though Haruka never
exactly understood how lazily staring at water falling from the sky did that.
But now that she had nothing to do but sulk around the seemingly unoccupied
house, she began to understand what Michiru meant. Her eyes still fixated out
the window, Haruka brought a radio closer to her and turned it on. A song softly
came out of its speakers.
[Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh]
Despite last seeing her loved one weeks ago, the moment stuck in Haruka's
memory as if it happened only yesterday. She took Michiru's love for granted,
and she just left. Without really giving warning. The normally strong senshi
felt her heart shatter like a mirror when she read a note Michiru left before
disappearing. With anger at herself, she had crumpled it into a tight wad and
thrown it against the wall. Michiru was one of the few things that made Haruka
happy, one of the few that understood her, and loved her just for herself. Now
that was gone. Possibly forever. However, she couldn't cry. She wouldn't let
herself. The pain would have to be hidden beneath her tough, masculine exterior.
Not that it was much of a challenge. Haruka had been doing it nearly her whole life.
[I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes]
Being beside the window soon ignited another memory: the moment when Michiru
held Haruka's hand tenderly and said she liked her hands. Michiru's hands were
heavenly, so soft and gentle. The memory of how they felt was distant in Haruka's
mind, but it was indeed there. It felt like the first time they connected, almost
became one. Michiru's crystalline eyes, pure, shining, cerulean eyes, had met
Haruka's teal pair and for the first time in Haruka's life, it felt as if someone
was looking into her soul. Cheesy, yes, it may sound, but that was exactly how
Haruka felt that moment. The gorgeous eyes belonging to Michiru held an abundance
of love and happiness, the same that was shown in her pearly smile. Now that was
gone. Haruka may never get to see that again. Just further proof you don't know
what you have until it's gone, she figured.
Haruka yawned. Maybe she should sleep some more. At least in her dreams Michiru
would still be with her. In her dreams, they would be happy, and Haruka wouldn't
have made any mistakes. Why is it that life was so much better when sleeping?
Right now in her current mood, Haruka wouldn't mind an eternal sleep if it meant
being with Michiru only in her slumber. Certainly it would feel better than sulking
with memories of the bitter reality still fresh in her mind.
[There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there]
It seemed ever since Michiru had left to live alone, she had avoided talking
on the phone whenever possible. Probably just in case it turned out to be Haruka.
How could Haruka apologize for her mistakes if Michiru wouldn't permit her the
chance? And surely if Haruka stopped by her new home (given she found out where
exactly it was located), Michiru wouldn't allow her to enter, let alone even
open the door. Had she really been that bad? Of course, that was a rhetorical
question. She sighed sadly. Of all the times, why then. when she had someone
who cared about her?
[Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you]
That's sure how it seemed now. By hurting someone she loved, she ultimately
hurt herself.
Love. What was the true meaning of the word anyway? Sometimes all it did
was cause trouble, lead to jealousy, even destroy people entirely. Haruka
sighed with aggravation while drumming her icy fingers against the board in
front of the window. She hadn't thought this much for as long as she could
remember. Mainly her daily routine consisted of physical labor, but it seemed
the gloomy weather made her melancholy today especially. Every time Haruka tried
to rid her mind of all thoughts of Michiru, they returned like an unwanted
boomerang. The song playing on the radio seemed to drag on for an eternity.
[Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, oooh]
Goodbye certainly was a painful word, Haruka had learned. Ironically it
particularly hurt when you didn't have the chance to say it. Like with her
lover. She left without notice, leaving Haruka speechless for quite some time.
All the racer desired lately was to hide in her house where no one could comment
on her unusual behavior. Not like she ever liked people asking her what was wrong
anyway. If anything she saw it as an unnecessary annoyance. However, one certain
person could ask Haruka and not irritate her...
[Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?]
Michiru would'nt point out Haruka's faults, no matter how bad a mistake was
made. That's what made Haruka love her. How forgiving she was. One could say
that softened up Haruka a bit, but when you're in love you don't care what
others have to say about you. An empty feeling lingered in Haruka's stomach,
hungering for the other half of her. Her soul mate.
[There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back]
Despite the way Haruka turned down the opportunity to be one of Michiru's
models when they first met, the moment their eyes first met was precious.
It rang in Haruka's mind like a harmonious ballad, like one of the songs
they would play together. Michiru would play a lovely violin piece, often
accompanied with her partner on the piano. Sure, one was good without the
other, but together, they could make such beautiful music.Now the sight of
a piano only torn Haruka's heart slightly more.
[Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, ohh
If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time]
Would Haruka turn back time if given the chance? Probably. That is, if she
could somehow prevent her foolish faults from reoccurring. Repeating the
past would only put the already heart-wretched female deeper in a pool of
sorrow. Then again, if turning back time were so easy, she may have never
met Michiru. And despite her current emotional state, she'd rather have loved
and loss Michiru than have never met her at all. That was how sacred Haruka's
memories were. She treasured them like an irreplaceable heirloom.
[I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself...]
Tired of the lugubrious song, Haruka, with her eyelids partially hiding her
exhausted teal eyes, reached over to turn off the radio. Before sleep
conquered her and some glistening tears slowly rolled down her face, she
softly murmured to herself, "...by hurting you."
---
Michiru sat in isolation, a look of envy and sadness glazed over her eyes. Energetic music filled the air. All the other couples at the ball were dancing joyously, laughing, smiling, showing happiness in every possible way. She came to attempt to take her mind off of one person in particular: Haruka. The one who broke her heart by showing more interest in sports than her. The one who she had moved away from into a cramped apartment only a mere week ago. The one, for reason unknown to herself, couldn't get her mind off of, no matter what she did.
She glanced over at the clock, a sigh following. Time was passingly differently, or so it felt; she couldn't even remember how long she had been sulking by her lonesome in the place. Michiru wasn't sure which was worse: how painfully slow time had been running for the last week, or the pain she carried inside. Her head tilted down towards her lap, her aqua hair acting as a curtain that hid her face. Why couldn't she be happy like all those couples? Did she do something to not deserve love? If so, Michiru deeply regretted it. She held a glass of punch to her pale lips. A grimace crossed her face upon tasting the drink. Bitter punch, bitter life. What a suitable combination. Suddenly, the previous song faded, only to bring up another...
[A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face]
Hundred days? That's how long Michiru felt the pain had lasted. If it were anyone but Haruka who had ignored her, the cut inside her heart wouldn't have felt so deep. Only proved your loved ones have the power to hurt you the most. Tears tried to slip from Michiru's sapphire orbs. The aqua-haired lady turned towards the window to prevent others from seeing her in pain. The last thing she currently needed was strangers trying to pry into her personal life.
[A thousand lights had made me colder
and I don’t think I can look at this the same]
Nothing mattered any more. All the things Haruka said were but sour memories that were only salt in her wounds.
But all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face
I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me
The miles just keep rollin
as the people either way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
but I hope that it gets better as we go
I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me
Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls,
when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love
I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me
This is purely fan-made. The song lyrics belong to Christina Aguilera.
Haruka glared out the window absent-mindedly. All had seemed far too quiet
for her liking since Michiru left. A few weeks prior to the present they had
gotten into a heated argument about their priorities, causing the aqua-haired
lady to move away from Haruka. the sandy blonde pressed her fingers against
the frosty window, watching the raindrops fall down gracefully. She remembered
how Michiru often enjoyed gazing out the window at the falling rain. She said
it calmed her and made the outside world feel peaceful, though Haruka never
exactly understood how lazily staring at water falling from the sky did that.
But now that she had nothing to do but sulk around the seemingly unoccupied
house, she began to understand what Michiru meant. Her eyes still fixated out
the window, Haruka brought a radio closer to her and turned it on. A song softly
came out of its speakers.
[Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh]
Despite last seeing her loved one weeks ago, the moment stuck in Haruka's
memory as if it happened only yesterday. She took Michiru's love for granted,
and she just left. Without really giving warning. The normally strong senshi
felt her heart shatter like a mirror when she read a note Michiru left before
disappearing. With anger at herself, she had crumpled it into a tight wad and
thrown it against the wall. Michiru was one of the few things that made Haruka
happy, one of the few that understood her, and loved her just for herself. Now
that was gone. Possibly forever. However, she couldn't cry. She wouldn't let
herself. The pain would have to be hidden beneath her tough, masculine exterior.
Not that it was much of a challenge. Haruka had been doing it nearly her whole life.
[I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes]
Being beside the window soon ignited another memory: the moment when Michiru
held Haruka's hand tenderly and said she liked her hands. Michiru's hands were
heavenly, so soft and gentle. The memory of how they felt was distant in Haruka's
mind, but it was indeed there. It felt like the first time they connected, almost
became one. Michiru's crystalline eyes, pure, shining, cerulean eyes, had met
Haruka's teal pair and for the first time in Haruka's life, it felt as if someone
was looking into her soul. Cheesy, yes, it may sound, but that was exactly how
Haruka felt that moment. The gorgeous eyes belonging to Michiru held an abundance
of love and happiness, the same that was shown in her pearly smile. Now that was
gone. Haruka may never get to see that again. Just further proof you don't know
what you have until it's gone, she figured.
Haruka yawned. Maybe she should sleep some more. At least in her dreams Michiru
would still be with her. In her dreams, they would be happy, and Haruka wouldn't
have made any mistakes. Why is it that life was so much better when sleeping?
Right now in her current mood, Haruka wouldn't mind an eternal sleep if it meant
being with Michiru only in her slumber. Certainly it would feel better than sulking
with memories of the bitter reality still fresh in her mind.
[There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there]
It seemed ever since Michiru had left to live alone, she had avoided talking
on the phone whenever possible. Probably just in case it turned out to be Haruka.
How could Haruka apologize for her mistakes if Michiru wouldn't permit her the
chance? And surely if Haruka stopped by her new home (given she found out where
exactly it was located), Michiru wouldn't allow her to enter, let alone even
open the door. Had she really been that bad? Of course, that was a rhetorical
question. She sighed sadly. Of all the times, why then. when she had someone
who cared about her?
[Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you]
That's sure how it seemed now. By hurting someone she loved, she ultimately
hurt herself.
Love. What was the true meaning of the word anyway? Sometimes all it did
was cause trouble, lead to jealousy, even destroy people entirely. Haruka
sighed with aggravation while drumming her icy fingers against the board in
front of the window. She hadn't thought this much for as long as she could
remember. Mainly her daily routine consisted of physical labor, but it seemed
the gloomy weather made her melancholy today especially. Every time Haruka tried
to rid her mind of all thoughts of Michiru, they returned like an unwanted
boomerang. The song playing on the radio seemed to drag on for an eternity.
[Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, oooh]
Goodbye certainly was a painful word, Haruka had learned. Ironically it
particularly hurt when you didn't have the chance to say it. Like with her
lover. She left without notice, leaving Haruka speechless for quite some time.
All the racer desired lately was to hide in her house where no one could comment
on her unusual behavior. Not like she ever liked people asking her what was wrong
anyway. If anything she saw it as an unnecessary annoyance. However, one certain
person could ask Haruka and not irritate her...
[Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?]
Michiru would'nt point out Haruka's faults, no matter how bad a mistake was
made. That's what made Haruka love her. How forgiving she was. One could say
that softened up Haruka a bit, but when you're in love you don't care what
others have to say about you. An empty feeling lingered in Haruka's stomach,
hungering for the other half of her. Her soul mate.
[There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back]
Despite the way Haruka turned down the opportunity to be one of Michiru's
models when they first met, the moment their eyes first met was precious.
It rang in Haruka's mind like a harmonious ballad, like one of the songs
they would play together. Michiru would play a lovely violin piece, often
accompanied with her partner on the piano. Sure, one was good without the
other, but together, they could make such beautiful music.Now the sight of
a piano only torn Haruka's heart slightly more.
[Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, ohh
If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time]
Would Haruka turn back time if given the chance? Probably. That is, if she
could somehow prevent her foolish faults from reoccurring. Repeating the
past would only put the already heart-wretched female deeper in a pool of
sorrow. Then again, if turning back time were so easy, she may have never
met Michiru. And despite her current emotional state, she'd rather have loved
and loss Michiru than have never met her at all. That was how sacred Haruka's
memories were. She treasured them like an irreplaceable heirloom.
[I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself...]
Tired of the lugubrious song, Haruka, with her eyelids partially hiding her
exhausted teal eyes, reached over to turn off the radio. Before sleep
conquered her and some glistening tears slowly rolled down her face, she
softly murmured to herself, "...by hurting you."
---
Michiru sat in isolation, a look of envy and sadness glazed over her eyes. Energetic music filled the air. All the other couples at the ball were dancing joyously, laughing, smiling, showing happiness in every possible way. She came to attempt to take her mind off of one person in particular: Haruka. The one who broke her heart by showing more interest in sports than her. The one who she had moved away from into a cramped apartment only a mere week ago. The one, for reason unknown to herself, couldn't get her mind off of, no matter what she did.
She glanced over at the clock, a sigh following. Time was passingly differently, or so it felt; she couldn't even remember how long she had been sulking by her lonesome in the place. Michiru wasn't sure which was worse: how painfully slow time had been running for the last week, or the pain she carried inside. Her head tilted down towards her lap, her aqua hair acting as a curtain that hid her face. Why couldn't she be happy like all those couples? Did she do something to not deserve love? If so, Michiru deeply regretted it. She held a glass of punch to her pale lips. A grimace crossed her face upon tasting the drink. Bitter punch, bitter life. What a suitable combination. Suddenly, the previous song faded, only to bring up another...
[A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face]
Hundred days? That's how long Michiru felt the pain had lasted. If it were anyone but Haruka who had ignored her, the cut inside her heart wouldn't have felt so deep. Only proved your loved ones have the power to hurt you the most. Tears tried to slip from Michiru's sapphire orbs. The aqua-haired lady turned towards the window to prevent others from seeing her in pain. The last thing she currently needed was strangers trying to pry into her personal life.
[A thousand lights had made me colder
and I don’t think I can look at this the same]
Nothing mattered any more. All the things Haruka said were but sour memories that were only salt in her wounds.
But all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face
I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me
The miles just keep rollin
as the people either way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
but I hope that it gets better as we go
I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me
Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls,
when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love
I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me