Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Into the darkness ❯ Into the darkness ( Chapter 1 )

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Into The Darkness

A Sailor Moon fanfiction by regie27

Standard Disclaimers apply

 

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Notes:

 

[ ]Denotes dialogue and thoughts by Bunbo

Italics indicate dream sequences

 

 

 

Wake me up inside

Wake me up inside

Call my name and save me from the dark

Bid my blood to run before I come undone

Save me from the nothing I've become

 

Bring me to life, Evanescence

 

 

 

Sleep weight in heavily over my eyelids but I can't allow myself to fall asleep, not if I want to avoid those haunting visions to assault me again. It has been long years since that day, yet the images are fresh on my mind like it had happened yesterday. I fear, no, I dread what my mind creates in my subconscious. No precognition I've experienced can't compare to the sickening, nauseating sensation those images conjure.

 

I yawn and I feel my eyes slowly closing. I don't need to see my reflection in the mirror to see the purple shadows under my eyes or the paleness of my skin. They speak very loudly of the nocturne inner war I've been waging. I fight frantically but I can't resist anymore. I've tossed and turned in my bed, the light from a lamp spilling brightly from my desk, but that light can't pierce the pitch-black void that lurks inside the depths of my mind. I'm too tired to keep struggling; my defenses lay shattered, exhaustion finally overcomes my determination. The dreaded door opens as soon my eyes close. My bedroom vanishes away and shadows are all I see. For one more night I sink into the insanity and the nightmares I so despise return to haunt me. Darkness once again calls me and slowly engulfs me, taking me away to that day, the day I almost took away with my own hands what is most precious to me.

 

 

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I open my eyes and I feel my breath coming out in ragged gasps. I almost choke trying to control my breathing to avoid hyperventilating, concentrating hard to keep the fast pace at the same time. My heart beats violently inside my chest. Thoughts come and go like flashes of light, blinding rather than illuminating. I know the reason why I'm running away, running from myself, running from what I'm about to become. The whispers I had occasionally heard inside my head have become screams, demanding me to yield. I fight them out but they keep returning relentlessly; their siren calls seducing me, enticing me to allow the dark ancient power hidden to surface and be revealed.

 

My precognition hits me violently and I can see clearly what is lurking deep inside me, the hideous monster I've kept shackled, the seed of evil waiting to burst open and sow blood. The beast is about to break the chains that have kept him in hiding for so long as the voices of his masters are beckoning him to obey. I've heard it rattle and thrash in desperation before, but now it's worse. It has strengthened far beyond anything I could have anticipated and it wishes for a chance to break free from imprisonment and manifest its destructive destiny.

 

I have feared this day. Countless times I've awoken on the floor, trembling, covered in sweat and tears after seeing his potential for destruction manifested. Steel blades ripping apart flesh from bone, sharp edges tainted crimson with the blood of innocents. I refuse to allow myself be turned into a vessel of annihilation, but I can feel the raging hatred on my veins, the bloodlust on my mouth, the desire to rip apart and destroy pulsing on my hands. I scream in desperation and frustration, wishing it all could go away but I, of all people,*know* it will not go away.

 

-“[Why are you trying to avoid what you know is your destiny? Why are you so stubborn to deny the inevitable? I will be reborn. I will take over your meaningless life and unleash a power unknown to you. You are weak and I am strong. I will prevail, whether you like it or not.]”

 

-“No, even if I lose my own life, I will never allow you to return!”

 

-“[Silly boy! Who do you think you are to try to stop me, one of the Seven Shadows, spawns of Metallia's power. What makes you think a mere mortal can stop the will of the Dark Kingdom?]”

 

-“You are inside me and I can keep you there trapped forever!”

 

-“[Insolent brat! I will return and do not worry. I will be generous with you. I assure you her death will be quick and painless.]”

 

Hatred bubbles inside me like molten lava about to spill over, a hatred that it's not from the demonic creature inside me, a hatred that I recognize as my own.

 

-“Don't you dare touch her!” I spew angrily.

 

Hideous laughter is his only reply, but I know he's right. I can't stop him anymore. His thoughts are becoming mine too. My loyalty is bending and I can feel the power of the Dark Kingdom empowering me. My last visions are of the beast inside me attacking Sailor Mercury mercilessly. I force myself to block the omen away, terrified of the possibility of what I could be capable of doing under the spell of the monster. The struggle is draining my life-force and I feel my legs folding underneath me. Shadows cloud my eyes as I feel myself falling into nothingness. I just hope I never come back from it.

 

 

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I wake up under the touch of gentle hands over my temples and as I glance up, blue eyes lock with mine. I can see true concern in those calming shades of azure but the future that awaits me chills me to the bone. I don't know if she can perceive the cool sweat that clams my hands and drenches my face or the accelerated beating of my heart, like if it were to burst out of my chest. Slowly and rather regretfully, I lift my head from the soft cradle of her lap and sit up. I slowly

remember what has just happened: my first encounter with Zoicite as I returned from the Parlor Bear and my meeting with Tsukino-san; Sailor Moon and Sailor Mercury's timely intervention just when Zoicite was about to extract the yellow crystal from me and my escape with Sailor Mercury while Sailor Moon fought to derail Zoicite. I just hope she's okay. Zoicite looked downright vicious in his intent to awake the beast that lays dormant inside me. I know if it weren't for them, the monster would have been unleashed.

 

-"Thank you for saving me, Mizuno-san."

 

I can perceive the astonishment on her face, but she tries to hide it under a coat of incredulity. It must be shocking that a simple boy could have guessed her secret identity, so zealously protected, but that's not relevant now, not when innocent lives are at stake. I fear Zoicite will return soon to finish his deed. Feeling like a dead man walking, I open up my heart and let out the secrets inside me. I try to steady my voice. I try my best to hide the despair, the hopelessness of a fate predetermined. My precognitions, my fate as a Youma, even how I managed to match her on the tests so I could meet her.

 

-"I can see the future. I will become a monster. When I do, please kill me without hesitation."

 

Sailor Mercury's reply is something that even with my abilities I wouldn't have ever foreseen.

 

-"Urawa-kun, you have to create a future for yourself. If you give up, nothing will change. As long as you have faith in yourself, you can overcome any destiny." Her voice is sweet but firm. Her face shows conviction and determination. In her voice, I can feel hope for the very first time.

 

As simple as that, I can avoid tragedy and choose hope over despair. I can't believe that those simple words have the power to change my destiny. I feel the oppressive weight on my heart lifting. Years of living with this open door to the

future to be, bearing the torture of knowing what tomorrow was about to bring. There might be a chance for me after all!

 

But evil has other plans and Zoicite, their emissary, smiles wickedly as he suddenly appears in mid air. A black object gleams in his hands. My time has come, I realize. I just hope she will head my plea and end my life as I requested. I would rather die than taint my hands with murder.

 

-“Zoicite!” I hear Sailor Mercury say out loud.

 

As the opponents pair up, I can hear my own heartbeat pounding loudly on my ears. Zoicite lifts his arm and I sense a strange, dark energy encircling me. A sharp pain impales my head and my strength falters. The voice inside me that once spoke in a barely audible tone becomes louder, more menacing as my own diminishes. The park, Zoicite, and Mercury fade from my sight and I feel I'm descending into an abyss. The world I know has been left behind and I feel cold, weak, and terrified in this strange realm. Zoicite must be in control of me now, I realize grimly. I need to find a way out! As I move frantically to try to find my way out, suddenly I'm faced with *him *, the beast inside. The dark spirit that had been hidden within me is facing me now, a triumphant smile on his face.

 

-[“I told you it was useless to resist, boy. My masters are calling me and you are useless now. Let me pass!]” he growls.

 

As he treads menacingly forward, I try to block him. He lifts one of his razor sharp hands and hits me bluntly on the chest. I fall to the floor like a rag doll while he continues his way forward. I lower my head and see scarlet lines come out of my white shirt. I block the painful sensation and run after him. He suddenly turns around and hits me again, this time on the face. A sharp pain invades my jaw but I will not give up. I can't give up. How can I when she trusts me to change my destiny, to alter fate? I can't allow him to take her life, not without a fight!

 

-“Now behold one of the Seven Great Youma, Youma Bunbo!” I hear Zoicite's voice from afar. I can also dimly hear Sailor Mercury's voice. She sounds horrified. I must have transformed into the thing, the monster. I prepare myself to leave the world of the living. My only consolation is that a death by those brave hands will be a merciful and honorable death.

 

-"Get her Youma Bunbo, kill the Sailor Senshi," screams Zoicite with wicked glee.

 

-[“Boy, get ready to watch this!”] Bunbo says evilly. -[“My first kill will be a Senshi, my master's hated enemies. Come and witness my might!”]

 

-“You will not do such a thing, beast!”

 

-[“Do not oppose me or the will of the Dark Kingdom.”]

 

As I see through the monster's eyes, his senses and mine merging every passing second, his conscience and mine thinking as one. Bunbo and I are becoming one, no, even worse. Urawa Ryo is disappearing and Bunbo will. Desperation is making me insane. I need to do something! His sharp blades are closing in on Mercury. I see horror in her face and I sense the sadistic will to destroy in the monster. I resist the horrible feeling that is growing inside me, this murderous instinct. As I try to push away such dreadful sensations, Bunbo smiles at me with scorn.

 

-[“You are becoming part of me, Ryo. You are merging with me; your soul is lost forever. Pain will be your only goal and the death of your enemies will be your reward.”]

 

-“Shut up, shut up! I will never be a monster like you!

 

-[“Look at yourself. You are a monster. You are ME!”]

 

-“NOOOO!!!!” I wail from the top of my lungs. I look at my hands and I don't see fingers anymore but blades. I touch my face but I can't feel my skin. The boy that remained has been sucked in, symbolizing the utter and definitive lost of the human once known as Urawa Ryo. But my heart still remains! All is not lost! In desperation, I manage to take control of Bunbo and instead of attacking Mercury, I forcefully push Zoicite away and into a nearby pond. I could have killed him in that instant but I wasn't willing to become one of them, a callous killer. A yellow crystal falls from his hands and reaches Mercury's hands. I feel Bunbo's hatred turning towards me, as intense as a blaze of fire.

 

-[“You idiot! This will be the last time you intervene!”]

 

A larger concentration of dark energy washes over me as I fight hopelessly from falling into oblivion. The evil energy sears me as the beast struggles to tear my heart apart, the last trace of my humanity still standing. Amidst my numbing pain, I hear screams.

 

-“Now Bunbo, finish your job!” orders Zoicite.

 

Even in my oppressive suffering, I notice that Bunbo's strength and size have augmented. He has become more formidable, more vicious, more aggressive, more determined to annihilate the Senshi. I can see the yellow crystal gleaming under Mercury's possession and Bunbo's thoughts are clear: retrieve the crystal at all costs.

 

-[“You should have never intervened boy. Now, I am really angry and she will pay for it.”]

 

I'm so weak, I'm unable to answer. My soul, my conscience, my life-force are fading inexorably, freefalling into the chaos. I was unable to stop fate. I have accomplished nothing. My life was truly meaningless.

 

-“Urawa-kun, I know you can fight it. I know you are still

there!”

 

-“Ami-san? Is that her? She still hopes! She still believes in me! I can't let her down!”

 

-“Urawa-kun, please come back!” she pleads.

 

Bumbo catches the frightened undertone on her voice but that's enough. He feeds on the fear on her voice. I can sense it, he enjoys it and I can feel his pleasure, his need to see dread on his enemies' faces. I finally understand it and I'm enjoying it. I'm yielding to the dark seduction. After an exhausting and agonizing battle, Bunbo is taking over me completely. Now I'm craving what he craves, I'm eager to destroy and kill. My heart is becoming black, evil, putrid. The bloodlust burns inside my veins. My senses become sharp to every single move she makes, like a predator hunting its prey. What I once used to be is finally gone. I am Bunbo. I am a Shadow, a Great Youma and I will do what fate has called me to do.

 

[Sailor Moon has now joined Mercury but I have both on the run. Sailor Moon's weak attempt to restore the boy resulted in failure. Fools! They do not get it! That weakling is gone and I will be the harbinger of their doom. I am lucky. I will have both the weakest and the clumsiest of the team. I can sense they are faltering, they are debilitating. Just one strike and the yellow crystal will be mine. I hear their gasps, their agitated breath. I sense the physical effort of running is slowly taking its toll on them. Run, but you can not avoid me forever, I murmur to myself, waiting for my prey to make just one mistake. The sun brings blinding reflections upon my blades. This will be an easy task. Human skin is so frail and so easy to pierce open...]

 

[I have them now! They have fallen into my trap, as their rushing feet suddenly stumble upon a fallen tree branch that cuts their escape. Mortal fear is reflected on the shiny surface of the blades that have cut a thick branch like if it were paper. They look at me like a deer about to be devoured by a wolf. I have them enjoy a bit more of my power. More blades sear the air with a whistling sound, slicing the trunk effortlessly. More screams of terror come out from their throats. They know the next attack will be aimed at them. I rush forward in a frenzy, my hands lifted up high as I close in on them. Terror has paralyzed them and I close in on my objective, on the one that holds the crystal that my master covets. I have

taken my target and the blond Senshi is unable to react fast enough to stop me...]

 

-"Uuugghh..." grunts Mercury as her body is suddenly faced with the reality of the piercing pain that has invaded her senses. My blades have lodged deep inside her delicate torso, ripping flesh and bone apart. I hear the "clink" sound of the crystal falling to the ground. Her hands wrap around my arm in a futile attempt to stop further damage.

 

-"Urawa-kun..." she manages to mutter weakly.

 

Something unhinges inside me. Lightning pierces the oppressive darkness I've been sunk into. My conscience awakens and I feel myself arise from the darkness as if lifted by unknown hands. I'm aware again of what is happening and what I see through the beast's eyes tears my very soul apart: two long tears streaming down a delicate pale face and bright red blood escaping from the corner of Ami's lips. My jaw trembles as air escapes my lungs. No, I couldn't have done this...this is madness...this is not my deed...!

 

-["Yes, you did, boy!"]

 

-"Bastard! You will pay for this!" my voice roars with rage as sobs choke on my throat. My hands tremble but I know what I have to do.

 

And before Bunbo could even notice what was happening, my human part rips apart from him and with superhuman strength fueled by mad fury and unbearable pain, I drive his own arm towards his thick neck. I can't help but smile as I hear his wail of agony while watching the irony of it all: killed by his own wicked implements. The curse is slowing lifting from me, the dark magic slowly, fading but I still have to face the nightmare. His death cannot undo the horror I have committed. Still in this despicable form, I sense her body sinking to the ground, her hands still holding my arm. I try in vain to say something but no words can convey what I feel. No words are adequate enough to ask for forgiveness. I see the light vanishing from her blue eyes and the shroud of death obscuring their luminescence.

 

-"Urawa-kun...why?"

 

 

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I wake up from the sound of my own screams into the night. My heart thumps loudly against my ribcage and I fight to breathe again. I'm trembling, warm tears falling nonstop from my bloodshot eyes. I rock myself back and forth at the edge of my bed trying to make sense out of the chaos that is my mind right now. I sense moisture in my hands and frantically I look at them, fearing the evidence of my crime was still there. I sigh heavily. It's not blood, only sweat, I realize, alleviated. I shiver as the coolness of the night wind enters my window, but the wind is not the only thing that has slipped inside. Something grazes my bare shoulder gently behind me.

 

-"Ryo-kun, are you okay? I heard you screaming."

 

I turn around and find azure orbs staring at me, intense concern reflected in the quizzical expression of her face. She's wearing the same blue and white outfit I saw in my mind tinted in crimson. In silence, she sits beside me.

 

-"Sailor Mercury?"

 

-"I was on patrol with the Senshi and call it a hunch or a sixth sense, but I felt that you needed me here. After we were done, I was heading towards your place when I heard you scream.” She gently lifts my chin and runs a finger over my wet cheeks. “You've been crying! Why?"

 

I run my hands over her face, sensing warmth, sensing life underneath. My eyes well again with tears as I lean against her, my head resting over her shoulder, taking solace in the calming steady rhythm of her breathing. My voice comes out hoarse, the pain of the nightmare still fresh in my mind.

 

-“I…I dreamed that I did kill you when I was a youma and I'm afraid. I'm afraid that *he* might still be somewhere in the depths of my soul, waiting for the chance to return when I'm sunk into despair and hopelessness. I'm afraid if he returns, he might kill you this time. That time was too damned close. We were lucky Mars and Jupiter appeared in the nick of time but what could have happened if they had arrived just one minute later? You would be dead! I can't- I just can't live with this…”

 

While her delicate fingers caress strands of my hair in a soothing motion, Ami's face closes in and looks at me with those beautiful sad, blue eyes that seem to possess all that is good and noble in this wretched world.

 

-“A long time ago, I remember telling a scared boy that the key to his future laid in his own hands. I saw hope flicker in the eyes of that boy, and I've enjoyed with all my heart the change that those simple words made in his life. I've seen that boy become a man, a man I care for dearly. I know you struggle every day to build your future regardless of what your visions tell you and I can only imagine how hard it must be, to face every day with a predetermined version already in your mind, to see as mere memories the unveiling of a fresh day. There's only one thing I can assure you: I will be at your side to help you in this task, to help push away the demons that still haunt your soul. I don't care for what almost happened so long ago, I care for what you have managed to do with your life, in spite of all the odds against you.”

 

I break away from her hug and stare at her in anguish. -“But aren't you afraid of what lurks inside me, of the dark powers that are brewing deep in the recesses of my soul?”

 

-“I can only see a noble heart and a caring soul. As long those are present, evil will never stand a chance.”

 

-“Ami-chan…” I whisper, emotion cracking my voice. “You still believe in me.”

 

-“Of course I do, because I love you.”

 

I seek refuge in her arms again, feeling the dread slowly lifting from my heart. I stand in awe at her strength, her capacity of understanding, her courage. I might not be here today if it weren't for the brave young girl who embraced her destiny as a Senshi and never looked back. And now that same girl who later became a wonderful woman holds me in those delicate yet strong arms. I feel safe, surrounded by her sweet fragrance, the reassuring beating of her heart, her welcoming warmth. Her lips come to brush my cheek and I instinctively move my head, seeking the same sensation over my lips. Our lips meet in a gentle kiss and I feel the shadow and the fear inside me melt by the warmth of the caress. Eagerly, I seek more of this soothing sensation, drawing Ami's lips to mine into a deeper kiss. I hold her body tightly to myself, wanting to sink into the comfort she offers and forget the terror and the uncertainty that menaced to claim my sanity, seeking absolution and healing through her love.

 

I feel a wave of cleansing, shimmering blue light washing over me, as I witness her transformation reverting while we still embrace. The pure, powerful energy heightens my senses. The glittering light and glowing shades of blue engulf her body and the sailor fuku dissolves into countless ribbons. I'm left breathless as an intense tingling runs down my spine, making every nerve ending pulse with the magical energy. Sailor Mercury gives way to Mizuno Ami before my eyes and I recapture her in a hard kiss, seeking to leave the nightmarish visions behind. As I look into her eyes, fire and love pulsing in my veins, burning in my heart, I know I will.

 

 

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I open my eyes and for the first time in weeks, I awake feeling inner peace. My cheek perceives the pleasant warmth and softness of her bosom and the rhythmic rise and fall of her breathing. I close my eyes and breath in her fragrance, sense the silky texture of her hair through my fingers, feel her arms wrapping softly around my shoulders. I lift my head and a smile curves on my lips while I observe her sleeping face, so peaceful. I slip carefully from her arms, pulling the sheets up to cover her and soon I find myself standing in front of a mirror.

 

Last night I saw an abomination, a demon sneering at me through the reflection and a man helpless, incapable of doing anything to stop the evil from taking over. Today, I only see a man. A man whose heart has been healed by the power of hope and love, a man luckier than anyone else to have somebody so special by his side. I might still feel the shadow struggling to break free from within but I finally understand clearly that as long as I believe in myself and in the destiny I can forge, as long I keep hope in my heart, the beast will lay in defeat forever.

 

I turn around, watching the sunrays from the nearby window filter inside the room, taking over the shadows on their way in, and sit beside Ami. Gently, I lean over, pulling stray strands of bluish locks behind her ear and whisper the words I remember saying so long ago, the only words that can truly convey the feelings in my heart and all the miraculous things she has done for me.

 

-"Thank you, thank you for saving me, Ami-chan."

 

 

 

~FIN~