Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Lead me not into Temptation ❯ Chapter 5

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
Hello all! Sorry I never got a chance to write yesterday but today's chapter will be longer to make up for it. Standard disclaimers apply. Not much to say here today. Read and review but be kind. No Flames.



Haruka, Michiru and Setsuna stared in slack-jawed shock at Usagi after she had said those two words. "Kill me." She repeated softly. "I'm standing at the edge of the earth. I can't go on anymore. If you are my friends, if you ever had any feeling in your hearts for me, then you will kill me."

Michiru put her hand on Usagi's shoulder. "Come with us. Tell us what happened."

Setsuna shook her head. How could she, the one who knew everything have missed this? How could Queen Serenity have missed this horror that Usagi was going through? Had it just been that they didn't want to see the bad, only the good? Usagi was a master at hiding her true feelings and it was never more obvious at just how well her deception had worked than it was right now. "I'll be back in a while. I have somewhere to go." She told Haruka and Michiru. "Don't leave her alone and for kami's sake keep her away from anything sharp."

Usagi smiled mirthlessly. "I've tried slitting my wrists, but I can never bring myself to make the last stroke, the one that will count." She held out her wrists that were covered in scars. "As you can see I chicken out."

Haruka was shaking in rage and it was only Michiru standing between her and Usagi that held her rage in check. "How could you?" she asked in a hurt whisper.

"Take her to the house." Setsuna ordered. "I'll join you shortly." Without another word she transformed and leapt through her gate. Taking her time key, she opened one of her many doors and turned back time to try to pinpoint when Usagi's withdrawal and pain had begun. Queen Serenity joined her soon after she found the incident and together they watched. The death of the innocents, the death of her family, the loss of her blood innocence when she had killed an innocent person because to let them live would have been to condemn them to life as a youma. They watched, as Usagi was unable to fight off a simple male attacker one night and watched as she was beaten within an inch of her life. Usagi had wound up losing it all. She had nothing left to live for, except for Mamoru. He was her lifeline, the one who gave her hope, the one who brought light into the darkness that shrouded her soul. "We have to get them together. She offsets his natural darkness and he holds her bleakness at bay." She told the Queen.

Queen Serenity nodded. "I wondered why she went with that Hitodri creature and now I know. There was no love, it was just her trying to feel alive, to feel something other than pain. I understand it all now."

Setsuna closed her eyes. "What kind of protectors are we if we let her get hurt like that? How could we never know of the death of the innocents, deaths that she couldn't have prevented? There was no way she could have saved them; time decreed that it was their time to die. The one she killed she had no choice because to let him live would have been to condemn him to life as a youma. She had no choice. Any of us would have done the same."

Queen Serenity shook her head. "My daughter has always hated fighting and killing, in this lifetime and her past. She has never believed in violence or in killing and now she is forced to. I understand her hurt."

"How do we help her? How do we get rid of this pain?" Setsuna beseeched the Queen. "Help me help your daughter."

Queen Serenity sighed. "Her greatest temptation, her other half, he is the only one who can help her now."

Setsuna nodded. "Minako is trying to get them together."

"Then help Minako. Her intentions are good even if her approach is painfully misguided and wrong." Queen Serenity sighed. "If that doesn't work, I will consider using the ginzuishou to seal the more painful memories from her. Help my daughter Setsuna."

Setsuna bowed. "I will do my best your Majesty." Opening her portal, she re-entered the normal world in a living room where Usagi was being treated as a prisoner of war.



'Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Je vieux plus.' Mamoru blinked as he read the letter written in an unfamiliar hand. He knew that Minako had obviously had this written hoping he would think it was from Usagi. "A good try Minako." He murmured. He wished those words had've come from Usagi. He saw the hurt in her and he felt sympathy, knowing the emptiness that she carried with her. He realized Motoki was right, he had been the catalyst that had caused her hurt. He might be the full cause of it, but he was responsible for a major part of it. If nothing else, it started with him, and it had begun when Chibi Usa had appeared all those years ago.

"What are you doing?" Motoki questioned. "What is that?" he leaned over his shoulder and his eyes widened. "That's a horrid attempt."

"Ok Motoki, I know Minako has brought you in on some plan to try and push Usagi and I together, let me tell you that I want no part of it. It took me forever to get free of her years ago and I want nothing to do with her. I can't think of anything more horrifying than being trapped in a relationship with that child again."

Motoki's eyes widened. "Gee if you try harder you might be able to convince me of your sincerity here."

Mamoru scoffed. "Believe me or don't, all I can do is tell you the truth, but you are persistent in thinking that I am hiding some feelings for her. Trust me when I say that I am not."

Motoki shook his head. "Even if I were inclined to believe that load of crap that you are spouting, I stole your journal from your apartment. Stupid thing for you to do, leaving your thoughts lying around where I can read them."

Mamoru's eyes widened. "You are a dead man."

Motoki grinned. "So you can stop with the whole 'I hate Odango Atama' thing because I know the truth."

Mamoru decided to bluff. "I left it there knowing you'd take it. It's filled with lies. I wrote what I knew you wanted to read. You think I'd leave anything important lying around when I live with that little flamingo haired brat?"

"That's some way to talk about your future child." Motoki commented.

"I pray that in the future she's not such a brat and maybe I'd like her a little more if she hadn't fallen on Usagi's head and ruined both our lives and since that day has continued to act like she has every right to do so." Mamoru scoffed. "I'm sure if I was there from her birth she might grow on me a bit more, but as it stands now she has no feelings from me. She's someone I'm taking care of because Usagi threw her out of the house, and rightly so. If I thought she had somewhere else to go, I'd send her there, better yet I'd like her to go back to the future."

Motoki shook his head. "In any case, you may dislike the child, but you love the mother."

"You back on that?" Mamoru arched an eyebrow. "Lay off Motoki. Best friend or not, you're crossing the line and I don't want to talk about this with you."

"So you'd rather talk about it with the girls right?"

"I didn't say that." Mamoru retorted.

"If you don't talk about it with me then the girls will force you." Motoki pointed out. "And they won't be quite so kind."

"And you're so generous." Mamoru said sullenly. "I won't say it!"

"Kami you are stubborn." Motoki sighed. "So the fake letter is a bust. Ami and I figured it would be. So are you going to Minako's party? She's invited Yuuichirou too, and her current crush Asai (A.N - For those who don't know who that is, he's the volleyball player from episode 100 of the S series who always admired Minako from afar.) He and his girlfriend broke up and she's going to try and sink her claws into him."

"That sounds so romantic." Mamoru drawled. "Yes I'll go. Is anyone else our age going?"

"I'll find out, but mostly it'll be us and Yuuichirou and Asai making up the male population of this party, unless Makoto has another sempai that she wants to bring." Motoki replied.

Mamoru shook his head. "I'm admitting to nothing."

"Your denial says more than words ever could." Motoki pointed out with an evil grin. Mamoru sighed in frustration and walked away from Motoki, going to gather his thoughts. Motoki walked over to payphone and dialled a number. "Things are going as planned Minako. Time to move on to Stage 2."



Minako let out a whoop as she hung up the phone. "I am a genius."

"That's news to me." Rei whispered to Makoto who stifled a laugh. Ami lifted her book higher, hoping Minako would forget that she was there. Sadly, Minako remembered that she was there and threw her text across the room.

"We have matchmaking to do! We can't have you studying!" she declared.

Rei picked up the book. "Dealing with depression?"

Ami nodded. "I'm trying to figure out what is wrong with Usagi."

"Good luck." Makoto sighed. "I feel so blind and stupid. Why didn't we realize how much she was suffering?"

"We saw what we wanted to see." Rei replied. "Usagi is apparently a master at hiding her true feelings. I feel like a wretch for all the times I yelled at her when I didn't have to."

Minako shook her head. "Can anyone think of any other men to bring to my party?"

Ami blushed. "Well I happen to know that Ryo is in town." (A.N - Greg in English episodes)

"Oh Ami," Minako clapped her hands together. "I've already promised that you are my next project."

Ami shook her head. "That's ok Minako."

"No I insist!" Minako persisted.

"Minako, maybe we should let them work this out themselves." Rei said in a quiet voice.

"NEVER!" Minako shrieked. "They've had almost three years to try to work this out and they are no further ahead than they were. It's time for drastic action. We must put on our happy hats."

"You mean thinking caps." Ami corrected.

"Those too." Minako amended. "The party is tomorrow night, thank goodness my parents are in England for the next few weeks."

"This has disaster spelled all over it."

"I have a cohort in crime." Minako revealed.

"Partner in crime." Ami sighed.

"I said that." Minako grinned. "Motoki and I have things well in hand."

"Is it too late to flee town?" Makoto stage-whispered to Rei.

"Unfortunately it was too late after Minako came to town." Rei replied, grimacing.



Setsuna sat on the couch across from Usagi. "I opened up my time gates Usagi and I have seen all that has happened."

"Then you understand that I can't talk about it."

"Usagi," Setsuna said gently. "You had no choice in what you did. Your choices were the right ones."

"I killed an innocent man." Usagi said wretchedly.

"If you had let him live he would have been a youma forever." Setsuna replied. "You saved his soul." She paused. "And the mother and child, you also had no choice there. You were beaten and bloodied. The mother could not control her child. The fault is not yours."

"I still see their eyes when I'm alone." Usagi whispered, feeling the tears start to choke her. "I hear them."

Haruka's eyes widened in understand. "Kitten, you've done nothing wrong."

"I got my family killed!" Usagi screamed. "Siren killed them as if they were nothing! She killed them because of me, of who I am! I've done everything wrong!" Usagi stood up, staring at her hands. "I can never hurt myself enough!"

Haruka pulled Usagi close to her in a firm hug. "Let it out Usagi. Stop bottling it up inside. We won't tell the Inners if that's what you want, but you have to let us in. You're safe with us. I have had enough of this foolishness with you. Let it out so you can start to heal."

Usagi fought Haruka's grip trying to push her away. Tired of hurting, tired of false pretences she wound up pulling Haruka closer to her and bursting into tears, crying in a way she hadn't allowed herself in years. For the first time since Mamoru left her, she let herself accept sympathy and leaned on someone else. Haruka's tough hands turned incredibly gentle as she soothed the pain out of Usagi.



Setsuna and Michiru exchanged a glance, tiptoeing quietly from the room where Usagi had cried herself into an exhausted sleep. Haruka was in the kitchen tossing back a shot of something. "I bow at her strength." She said pouring herself another.

Michiru sat down, her head sinking into her hands. "I never would have guessed at what she's gone through."

"Queen Serenity told me that whatever we do it's only a stop-gap." Setsuna sighed. "There is only one person, her greatest temptation who can make her whole again, and all they do is fight like rabid animals over the last piece of meat."

"Agreed. Should we join in Minako's insane plan?" Michiru questioned.

Haruka glanced up from her drink. "I'll do anything if it means turning Usagi back to her old self. Besides, all she and Mamoru do is exchange glances across the room when they think no one is looking. The heat and passion in those glances should set the arcade on fire." She tossed back another shot. "She has described Mamoru as the most insufferable, pompous, ignorant, self-absorbed, scoundrel of a bastard who drives her absolutely nuts, chose a dream over her and can't stand her."

"And she thinks we actually believe her?" Michiru's eyes widened.

"She does." Haruka nodded. "Of course I agree with her. He's a pompous ass but she's chosen to love him despite the fact that he is screwed in the head and emotionally unavailable."

Setsuna let out a sigh. "Well tomorrow is Minako's party. I advocate locking them into a closet - after we've removed all things that could be used as a weapon and forcing them to talk it out."

"Won't work." Haruka shook her head. "He's the stubborn force and she's the immovable object. Their pride is too strong and neither one of them will cave."

"This is ridiculous." Michiru snorted.

"Isn't it?" Setsuna arched an eyebrow.



"I'm not going Motoki, forget it!" Mamoru protested the next evening. "No way!"

"Give me a good reason why not." Motoki challenged.

"Odango Atama will be there." He snapped. "I don't want to see her any more than I have to! It's bad enough she trips all over me constantly and insults me."

"She gives as good as she gets." Motoki confirmed.

"What the hell are you trying to say?"

"You insult her pretty damn good Mamoru. She gives it back to you both barrels, and your eyes might as well be brown for the load of shit you're telling me right now."

"Watch your language!" Mamoru snapped. "I do have that little fungus living here."

"FUNGUS?" Chibi Usa's loud voice invaded the silence of the room.

Mamoru turned to see Chibi Usa looking very upset and angry. "Yes fungus." He snapped. "Why are you eavesdropping on me?"

"I was trying to see if you were changing." Chibi Usa replied blithely.

"That's sick." Motoki curled his lip.

"Isn't it?" Mamoru sighed. "Ok Motoki, I'll go if for no other reason than to get away from her."

Chibi Usa's lips quivered. "You don't want me Mamo-chan?"

"Not anymore you spoiled and ungrateful and selfish brat." He snapped. "Why don't you just go back home where your parents are?"

"You are my daddy." She replied.

"And Usagi is your mommy."

"Usagi is not my mommy!" Chibi Usa screeched. "My mommy is nothing like Usagi!"

"Go away Chibi Usa. The babysitter will be here soon." Motoki sighed. "I took the liberty of arranging one for you."

"You just had this all worked out didn't you?"

"How'd you guess?"



Minako rubbed her hands together and giggled. "This is going to be the best night of their lives! Leave everything in my capable hands and I will shove them together."

"Minako do we have to be here?" Ami asked.

"Just relax Ami and I'll arrange a private meeting for you and Ryo."

"That's not necessary." Ami said hastily. "There's no stopping you."

"Now you are starting to understand." Minako confirmed. Her face grew serious for a moment. "Trust me, Mamoru won't let Usagi run like we will. He's her other half and we have to get those two mule-headed morons to realize it. She never stopped loving him, but never forgave him for believing in a dream over her. He never stopped loving her, but never forgave her for trying to move on with her life. This will work."

Makoto arched an eyebrow. "Minako said something that made sense."

Rei shivered. "And hell just froze over."



Haruka shoved Usagi inside Minako's front door and promptly took up a guard position, making sure that she couldn't get out. Michiru grabbed her hand and drug her into the living room where things were going quite well. Usagi froze as she made eye contact with Mamoru. 'Temptation.' The word quivered unspoken between them. Desire lanced between them and the glance they shared should have set the room aflame. Michiru began dragging Usagi towards Mamoru, who was being held in place by Motoki. "Odango." He said coolly.

"Bastard." She retorted.

Motoki and Minako sighed, rolling their eyes. It was going to be a long night.



And so endeth this chapter. Please remember that I write based on reviews! No flames and suggestions are always welcomed. Check out my websites ne?

See you in the funny papers!