Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Live for Today ❯ Bad Memories ( Chapter 1 )

I know I said in my profile that I would only be doing one story at a time, but this one came into my head and I just had to get it out. This is Chibi-Usa/Hotaru fic, with a little Rei/Usagi tossed in for good measure. If possible this one will have even more angst than `Her Battle' and this is in no way connected it however. As the summary says this story deals a lot with Hotaru and her coping with what she did as Mistress 9.

Let me explain the ages of the characters, so no one thinks I'm some kind of pervert.

Hotaru - 16

Chibi-Usa - 16

Rei - 20

Usagi -20

All the other inners are 20

Haruka - 25

Michiru -25

Setsuna - ??

One more note before I get started, Mamoru will not be in this and the inner senshi other than Rei and Usagi will not really play much of a role in this. If it wasn't obvious by the ages, this takes place after Stars. Oh, and there are major spoilers for the Super season, to anyone who hasn't seen it yet, but if you haven't seen S by now, where have you been?

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Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon and never will, if I did, it would have been more violent and more of the girls would have gotten together, but I digress. My statement about not owning Sailor Moon will hold true for the entire story, though.

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Chapter 1 - Bad Memories

"Where am I? It's so dark, I can't see a thing." Hotaru said aloud to herself.

Suddenly there is a bright flash of light, causing Hotaru to cover her eyes. When she uncovered her eyes she is in a different place then she was a few moments ago. This place looked like some sort of laboratory and now she's not alone here, there a number of other people with her now, all of whom she recognizes. All the Sailor Senshi are there expect Pluto. Uranus and Neptune are standing off the side, away from all the inners. Hotaru looks away from the senshi to see who else is present. Someone is sitting at the top of a staircase; she has a black star on her chest and looks awfully familiar to her. Hotaru didn't dwell on it however and continued her inspection; soon her gaze fell on a man in a lab coat with glasses.

"Papa?" Hotaru asked but the man did not respond to her call. Instead the man spoke to the girl sitting at the head of the stairs.

"The Messiah of Silence!!" the professor calls to the girl.

"No, that's not possible! What's going on?" Hotaru yells.

The girl at the top of the stairs stands up, `No, she's me! How can this be happening?!' Hotaru thinks.

"No! Stop it! Chibi Moon!" Sailor Moon yells and runs towards the girl, but she is thrown back by a barrier.

`Sailor Moon….' Hotaru thinks and sees the inner senshi tending to the princess. Hotaru focuses on a table beside her father; where Chibi Moon is lying there unconscious. "Chibi-Usa!" Hotaru calls to the girl but gets no response. The Hotaru at the top of the stairs stands up fully and a hand extends from her and begins heading toward Chibi-Usa.

"Chibi-Usa!" Hotaru screams and runs to her. She doesn't even pay attention to the fact that she could travel through the barrier that threw Sailor Moon back a few moments before. Hotaru just continues running to Chibi-Usa and once she finally reaches her, she positions herself in front of the unconscious girl with her arms stretched out protectively in front of Chibi-Usa. "Stop this! If you really are me, you won't hurt her!" Hotaru pleads with her other self, but she either doesn't hear or doesn't care because the hand continues toward Chibi-Usa.

Hotaru holds her ground and prepares to sacrifice herself for Chibi-Usa. The hand maintains its approach and reaches Hotaru, but instead of taking her heart crystal the hand passes right through her and reaches Chibi-Moon. Chibi-Moon screams out in pain when the hand reaches into her chest and begins pulling out her heart crystal. "Usa-chan!" Hotaru cries and desperately tries to pull the hand out of the girl's chest, but her hands just passing through it, as if she weren't even there.

Chibi Moon looks up at the top of the stairs and sees Hotaru, "H-Hotaru-chan…I'm glad you're okay…" she says before her heart crystal is taken and fades into unconsciousness again.

"NO, Usa-chan!" Hotaru cries and falls to her knees in front of the motionless girl.

Distantly, "This…is horrible! This is too horrible!" Moon cries.

Chibi Moon reverts back to her normal identity, "GIVE IT BACK! GIVE HER HEART CRYSTAL BACK!" Hotaru screams to her other self.

"Beautiful! A pure heart fit for the Messiah of Silence!" Professor Tomoe says as she watches her holding the heart crystal. Hotaru starts crying next to the unconscious Chibi-Usa.

"This is no good! If Saturn revives, this world will be destroyed!" Uranus says.

Chibi-Usa's heart crystal starts floating toward Hotaru's mouth and Moon speaks up again, "Hotaru! Stop!" Hotaru doesn't acknowledging her, so she addresses Professor Tomoe, "Please! Stop her! If you're really Hotaru's father…if you really love Hotaru…. Please!"

"Love? What do you mean?" he responds in a very cold voice.

Hotaru swallows the heart crystal, shocking all of the Sailor Senshi. Almost immediately after words Hotaru transforms into Mistress 9.

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Hotaru sits up quickly, a cold sweat covering her body. She takes a moment to examine her surroundings and realizes that she is back in her own room. `Why must still keep reliving that?' Hotaru questions herself.

"I need something to drink" Hotaru said and pulled herself out of bed.

Hotaru didn't want to wake her guardians, so she walked as quietly as possible to her bedroom door and exited her room; silently shutting the door when she exited. Quickly she made her way to the stairs and to the kitchen, unknowingly spotted by one of the guardians she was trying to avoid. Hotaru reached the refrigerator and opened the door to see its contents. The light from the fridge caused her to wince and shut her eyes to avoid the unwelcomed light. Once her eye adjusted enough she grabbed a bottle of water and hastily closed the door. She turned around and started back to her room, but after only a few steps she collided with someone. Hotaru looked up and smiled nervously at her guardian.

"Hi, Michiru-mama." Hotaru said in the most cheerful voice she could muster. Cheerfulness was not really her thing, alerting to Michiru that something might be wrong.

"Hotaru, I thought you said you were going to sleep over an hour ago." Michiru said.

"Well I did, but I woke up and was thirsty. I didn't mean to wake you mama, sorry." Hotaru said quietly.

"It's ok; you didn't wake me, Hotaru. Haruka and I were watching a movie and I saw you hurrying downstairs. I thought you might have been sick, so I came to check on you. You haven't looked well for the last few days and I just wanted to make sure you were alright." Michiru said concernedly.

"I'm fine, mama. I just need to get some rest." Hotaru said convincingly.

"Alright, but if you ever need to talk about anything you know, I'm here for you and so are Haruka and Setsuna." Michiru said comfortingly.

"I know. I'm going back to bed now." Hotaru said and hurried up the staircase.

"She didn't say anything about the nightmares she has been having" Haruka said as she walked up behind Michiru.

Unfazed by her companion's seemingly appearance out of thin air Michiru responded, "No. She must not realize that she talks in her sleep during them."

Haruka silently put her arm around the shorter woman, "I'm sure she'll open up soon." Haruka said confidently.

"I hope so; we could help her if she would." Michiru said and snuggled closer to her lover.

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`Wish I could tell you mama, but don't want you to know how weak I've become.' Hotaru thought to herself as she closed the door to her room. `Normally I could go to Chibi-Usa whenever something is bothering me, but if I do that this time I would have to tell her everything and I can't do that.' Hotaru thought and sat down on the edge of her bed and took a drink of water.

`I just wish there was some way I could make these dreams stop' she thought before taking another drink. Hotaru tightened the cap on the bottle and placed it on the night stand next to her bed. Then she reached over to the table lamp and turned it off, darkening the room even more; the lamp was not very bright so she usually left it on, but she preferred almost total darkness this night. She wasn't even sure if she would be able to go to sleep again, it was usually difficult after the dreams…no not dreams…memories she relived earlier.

`Maybe if I ignore them, they will go away.' Hotaru hoped and as she lay back on to her bed, not bothering to cover herself with the blankets. `I don't deserve her as a friend after what I did. Maybe this is punishment for nearly ending her life.' Hotaru thought as she closed her eyes, `I wish there were some way I could change what I did, but that's impossible.' She then started to drift off to sleep, a dreamless sleep she hoped.

End Ch. 1

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Ok, chapter one complete. I don't plan on this one being too long, maybe close to five chapters, but I don't know. If anyone likes it drop me a review, heck even if you didn't like it drop me a review, but if you don't like it I'd like to know why. The other chapters will be longer than this one, because this just sets up the story. Since I don't have anything else to say, I'll just finish by saying thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope you enjoyed it.