Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Part of My Soul ❯ Chapter 1

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Note: This is the companion story to Into My Heart. If you haven't read that, then please, do so before you read
this. The story will make SO much more sense afterwards.

"Part of my soul"
As told by: Konie

Did you know that the world ended? I don't know about your world, but mine did. A while ago… everything
seems so pointless now, since the center of my very universe is gone… I had thought that the only thing that I
was good at was studying, but Usagi-chan showed me that I was better than just a living book, I was a person,
living and breathing. But now, she does neither, and nothing that I could have done would have prevented it.
Fate, cruel Destiny stole her away. And when she died, being held in Rei-chan's arms, a part of my soul died with
her.

I can remember it all so clearly, we were fighting on an asteroid, fighting against Mamoru-san's friend, Fiore. It
wasn't he directly that killed her, but actually, it was her friends that slue her. If we had not gone after
Mamoru-san, like Usagi-chan had wanted, she would have survived. She had wanted us to stay on Earth, while she
alone would fight. None of us had any doubts that she could defeat Fiore, but we still wanted to be there to
protect her. In the end, I guess that is what truly did her in… us, the people that cared about her the most, those
who would die for her in a second… just like I am about to do…

I don't know exactly when I decided to die, or that I wanted to… it was just something that came about after
Usagi-chan. She had been my sunlight, my reason to be true to myself, and not just the nerd that everyone
thought I was. And here I am now, poised on the edge of the tub, filling it with warm water. Should I die? Do I
actually deserve to live? Why did I live and Usagi-chan die? She was so vibrant, lovely, friendly to everyone. She
had introduced herself to me that time Luna jumped on my shoulder, and I became an instant best friend. Every
person she's ever met has been one of her best friends, even her enemies… she never gave up on anyone, and she
never gave up on herself. Weakling! Why should you be given the right to die, and not suffer what the world can
give? Why should you take the easy way out, Ami? Why should you and not Rei-chan, Mako-chan or
Minako-chan? Why should they suffer, while you give up? I answer myself, in a little voice out loud…"Because
they are strong…"

What kind of answer is that? You can do so much better! "They can do better without me… all I do is use my
computer, and freeze things… I'm worthless!" What would Usagi say to you, if she heard you say that? "That I'm
wrong, and I am loved and worthwhile." And? "She's not here to say that. I'll go ahead with my plan."

I stood, walking towards the kitchen.

"Mother keeps her graduation plaque in there, above the kitchen sink. Since that scalpel attached has never been
used, it should be quite sanitary." In the kitchen, I raised a wavering hand to the plaque. The point of no return.
If I could get the blade, I'd have the courage to do this. Slowly, I reached up for it, but the seconds seemed like
hours. Finally, I pulled my hand back, empty. The scalpel was on the plaque still.

Perhaps today was a day to live.

Perhaps it wasn't. Was Usagi-chan alive? Why am I here and she not?

I decided that I should be with her soon.

I reached up again, determined to get the scalpel, and this time, I got it. Walking slowly back to the bathroom, I
passed my bedroom's door. Walking inside, I realized that it'd be for the last time… I said goodbye to my
mini-computer, and I booted up my letters, so that anyone of the Senshi could read them. (I had written letters
for the Senshi, in case of my death. Now, they'll be able to read them…) I looked at the digital clock on my
dresser, it read 5:30. Study group. The girls should be into math by now. Minako-chan usually needed my help
with math. I should be there to help her… but she'll be able to get help from Rei-chan.

"Ami-chan, come in Ami-chan! Please respond!"

What's that? My communicator?

"Ami-chan! Please respond!" Rei-chan's voice sounded stressed, afraid.

"Ami-chan? Are you there Ami-chan?" Now Mako-chan's voice took over.

I picked up my blue communicator, but I just couldn't open it…

I sat at my desk, and wrote a letter… to my Dearest friends…the Senshi

I told them how I loved them, and that I couldn't really be alive…I didn't deserve to be, after I couldn't save
Usagi-chan…

I walked to the bathroom, and the tub was almost filled. Perfect. I started to take off my clothes, folding each
article, so as not to be a burden to my mother later. I placed the stack onto the toilet seat and the letter onto the
edge of the sink. With the scalpel in my hand, I slowly stepped into the tub, and sat down. Lying there in the
water felt so peaceful, I felt the scalpel nearly fall from my hand. Bringing it to my wrist, I drew it up my arm.
Wincing at the instant pain, I dropped the scalpel into the water, which was already starting to turn pink from my
blood.

"Ami-chan? Ami? Where are you?!?" Rei-chan had yelled, searching for me. She knew there was something
wrong. I'm sorry, Rei-chan… to be a burden to you…

"AMI!! WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Everyone, I love you all… and I'm sorry… there was no other way out…" I choked out, talking to the people I
knew would hear…"I'm sorry I'm so weak…"
~_~_~_~

"Ami-chan? Are you in here?" I asked, in hysterics. She couldn't have used her mother's scalpel, could she? I ran
into the kitchen, and I couldn't find the scalpel from her mother's graduation plaque. "AMI!! WHERE ARE
YOU?" I ran faster, trying to find my dear friend, before she did something that we'd all regret.

I heard some splashing, water hitting the floor.

"Ami, no…" I managed to whisper, before the realization hit me. Running full-bore into the bathroom door, I
saw Ami in the bathtub and the water pink from her blood.

"No…"

Ami was gone….

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I'm so weak..."

And just like that... her voice in my head, I knew that she was gone forever. Forever. For eternity. I wanted
to go with her.