Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Runaway Heartstrings ❯ Defiance ( Chapter 2 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Kihin Ranno 
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Suspense / Romance / Psychological / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 09.29.2002 | Pages: 9 | Words: 6.1K | Visits: 266 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Suspense / Romance / Psychological / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 09.29.2002 | Pages: 9 | Words: 6.1K | Visits: 266 | Status: Work In Progress
Runaway Heartstrings
Chapter Two: Defiance
3/15
by Kihin Ranno
goddess_branwen@hotmail.com
http://www.geocities.com/kihin_ra nno/starlithorizon.html
R
~~Date Started: September 15, 2002~~
~~Date Completed: September 20, 2002~~
Another new chapter. ^-^ I think the title gives you a good indication
of what's happening.
Now then, that being said, I'd like to just take this time and
interject the story with a short message... The abuse portrayed here is
at the very far end of the spectrum. Namely, it seems senseless and
without motive, without love. Yes abuse does declare a lack of love,
but often times abuse is discipline gone too far. Other forms of
abuse can be just the verbal, name calling putting down, making the
abused party feel worthless. Another form is sexual. Another is
neglect. Abuse varies. This fic is actually probably a bad example of
abuse because while an alarming amount of abuse is alcoholic related
and paternal, an alarming amount has nothing to do with alcohol or
drugs and is maternal or any combination thereof. And a lot has
nothing to do with the categories I described.
I would just like everyone to keep this in mind as they read... One of
the things I was concerned with going into this is that some people
might get this image stuck in their minds when they think of abuse.
There are millions of forms of abuse. And if you even so much suspect
that someone you might know is a victim, tell someone who can help. At
worst, you might embarrass yourself. And ask yourself if you're
willing to embarrass yourself or always wonder if maybe there was
something you could have done. And if you don't risk the embarrassment
and learn you were right when it's too late... Whose fault is that?
That being said, onto happier things. ^^ The disclaimer! --; Okay so
I lied... It's not particularly happy... It's incredibly tedious when
you get right down to it, but I would rather not be sued. Thusly,
This story is an alternate reality taking the characters from Sailor
Moon and inserting them into a different situation while remaining in
their own universe. In essence, I am screwing around with the story of
Sailor Moon because I can. This in no way reflects Naoko Takeuchi's
version of Sailor Moon or the anime version. However, I hold no claim
onto Sailor Moon as that is owned by Naoko, Bandai, Kodansha, Toei
Animation, Mixx, DiC, Cloverway, and I'm sure about 100,000 others. I
am merely doing this for my own sick amusement and once again, because
I can.
~************************************************************ *********~
Usagi lay on the floor of her room, gasping for air. Her entire body
and even her soul seemed to ache like it never had before. Every inch
of her was either bruised or bleeding. She squeezed her eyes shut as
that would somehow release the throbbing pain from her body, but it
remained just as strong.
Usagi tried to get up off of the floor of her stark room, but
everything just hurt to much. She managed to push herself up on her
elbows, only to fall to the wood once more. She gasped in pain and
frustration, and wanted to scream. But her throat was too dry to speak
much less scream. She bit her lip in frustration... She wanted to let
this emotion out, but she couldn't. Not yet.
Usagi did not cry, not wanting to show weakness before her stepfather,
but she did wish she could let the repressed tears flow. She desired
nothing more than to run somewhere where she could be safe, warm, maybe
even loved and cry until her eyes became so dry they shriveled. She
wanted the protection of someone's arms to shield her from this. She
would have done anything if it would mean finding someone who could
understand.
But no one could understand. There was no one who wanted to hear her
tale... There was no kind ear or sympathetic shoulder. She had learned
that long ago.
Usagi gasped as she felt her stepfather's toe lightly tap her as you
would do if you found road kill and wanted to see if it was dead. The
man knew that the teenager was alive, but he wanted to give her an
incentive, no matter how weak, to get her on her feet. Even that small
touch sent shockwaves of agony up and down her body. She fought back
the overwhelming urge to groan in pain and bit down on her lip so hard
she thought it might bleed. Then she heard his deep, rich voice
chuckle and say, "You better get up soon... if this place isn't clean
by the time I get back, you're going to be in for it,"
Then Yukio left for work, whistling happily.
Usagi growled in disgust as soon as she knew he was out of earshot.
She had been quite tempted to do it to his face, but why subject
herself to more pain? She shook her head slowly and let out the
tiniest sob when she heard the downstairs door close. It was like this
every day, but she never got used to it... And something about today's
beating had made all the others pale in comparison.
Usagi had never known what defiance would do to him, for she had never
defied him before. She hadn't expected that he would be particularly
pleased, but a thrashing of that magnitude had taken her completely
off guard. Perhaps she should have anticipated, but then hindsight
was always 20/20. There was one thing that Usagi couldn't understand
at all...
Why had he been so angry when she said she wanted to leave?
Usagi couldn't believe it. Wouldn't Yukio want to get rid of her? It
wasn't as if she was all that useful around here. He certainly had no
emotional attachment to her... He did have a legal obligation to take
care of her, but he hadn't exactly been abiding by those laws for about
fourteen years now.
What possible reason could he have for wanting her to stay? It just
didn't make any sense to her. He had made it very clear that he
despised her, yet he had thrown a royal fit when she offered to leave
him...
Usagi sighed, knowing she had better not waste her time thinking about
that now... All that really mattered was that he wanted her to stay, so
for the time being she was stuck in her own private hell hole. So she
decided she might as well perform her labors for the day. She needed
to clean the whole house before her stepfather got home. Her one
consolation was that as a policeman, her stepfather was not a rich man
and did not have a large house.
So Usagi took a deep breath and literally dragged herself over to her
bed. Then she grasped onto the side and hoisted herself up, falling on
the bed. Those few movements alone had taken more out of her than she
cared for. She lay there for a few minutes, taking deep, frantic
breaths.
After five minutes, she felt that she might be able to move about.
Usagi took another deep breath and pushed herself up on her elbows and
eventually had both of her feet on the ground. She was by no means
entirely steady, but it was better than nothing. Then she staggered
over to her bathroom so she might clean her wounds, wash up, and go
through her daily routine....
Until Daddy got home.
************************************************************ ***********
Meanwhile, back in urban Tokyo, the Sailor Senshi were now at the
Hikawa Jinja, having their usual post-screw-up-get-together. Minako
was sitting on the top of the stairs, her arms folded across her chest
and her face growing steadily rather. her eyes were closed so she did
not notice Rei sitting about three steps below her, mirroring her
position. Only her anger was directed at Minako and her face was
already as red as it got. Makoto was lying down on the same step Rei
was situated on, but on the other side of the blonde. She was looking
up at the stars, trying to control all the emotions bubbling up inside
her. Ami was a few steps away from all of them, trying to separate
herself from the others. Her back was straight and her head down, but
her shoulders still violently shook with sobs. Mamoru was off under a
tree, letting the shadow hide his face so they couldn't see him.
Rei's grandfather was inside, shaking his head at the lot of them. He
knew better than to stick his nose into Rei's life, but sometimes it
got painful to watch this group. He didn't understand why they
couldn't seem to get along. He turned away and murmured, "Kami-sama,
give them strength... And give them time,"
Minako finally got sick of the silent brooding. She did not leap to
her feet or look at who she was speaking to, but everyone knew. She
opened her blue eyes which were brimming with tears and said, "Where
were you?"
Mamoru tensed and looked down, not that anyway could see. He ran a
hand through his hair and muttered, "I didn't know anything was
happening..."
"I called your cell phone three times," Rei said through clenched
teeth, "You never answered my calls. I left voicemail messages Mamoru.
You obviously got them because you did eventually show up when the
fight was over."
"Now tell us why didn't you answer them?" Minako said sternly.
"What is this? The Spanish Inquisition?" Makoto said, annoyed. She
sat up, her eyes holding some indefinable spark as she continued, "He
made a mistake. So he was late. So what? We probably would have
screwed up without him."
"God knows we have before..." Ami said quietly, in between sobs.
Everyone's eyebrows shot up to the top of their heads when Ami spoke.
Usually the blue haired genius would keep to herself during their
tiffs. This was the first time that she had offered any input other
than for them to calm down
Rei stood and walked down to Ami and said, "What did you say?"
Ami looked up at the Shinto miko, a fire in her eyes and a backbone
newly implanted for her straight posture. She blinked back her tears
and bit back her fear and said, "I said God knows we have before! You
act as though it's Mamoru's fault that we let that girl die. It's not!
It's all our fault!"
Minako leapt to her feet, something snapping within her, and she
shouted, "Our fault? OUR fault?! I fought for a year without any of
you! I never lost anyone to death, kidnapping, or anything like that!"
Makoto stood up as well and said, "Oh would you shut up about your
Sailor V days? I am sick and tired about hearing about the good ole
days! can't you just accept that we aren't you and we make mistakes?!"
"How can she accept that when people keep dying because of them!" Ami
screeched hysterically.
"We're not the ones killing them!" Rei shouted back at her.
"We are the ones letting them die!" Minako said, running down to Rei
and Ami with Makoto just behind her, "If we'd stop bickering then--"
"And who usually starts the fighting, Minako?" Rei hissed.
Minako quite literally growled and screamed, "Just because I'd like to
win one fight, or go one day without watching another innocent human
being die, doesn't mean I'm a bloody tyrant!"
"Doesn't it?" Rei snapped.
"Stop it all of you," Mamoru said, rubbing his temples as he came
towards them, "We're supposed to be a team remember? That means
getting along and fighting together for a common good."
"How can we get there if we keep letting people die?!" Ami shouted
back. She had never been this gripped by her own emotions before, and
for once in her life she wasn't thinking things through, "I'm supposed
to grow up to be a doctor. That means saving lives. I feel like we're
taking them all the time."
"We saved Yuki didn't we?" Makoto said sharply, "Doesn't that count for
anything?"
"We still couldn't save her! Doesn't anyone care about her?!" Ami
shrieked.
"Of course we care!" Rei screamed, "We're not heartless Ami! It's not
like we just stood back and watched her die! We tried! We all tried
to save her life, and we couldn't! That doesn't make us evil!"
"She's right Ami," Mamoru said gently, "Maybe we all could have done
better. But we'll never know. So we shouldn't spend our time worrying
about it,"
Ami stared at all of them in disbelief, "Let... Let it go? I'm
supposed to let this go..." Ami shook her head and said, "I can't just
let this go! I can't move on! I can't get past this! And it isn't
just tonight! It's all the times we've argued or screwed up or waited
too long to act or ANYTHING that resulted in the death of one human
being! Because one becomes two, and that two becomes ten, and the ten
becomes a hundred until everyone is DEAD! And I don't care if I won't
go to hell for it... I'll throw myself in if they refuse to send me!
If I'm not there already..." then Ami couldn't take it anymore and ran
off, ignoring their cries for her to come back.
"Well that went well," Makoto said snidely, "If you three will excuse
me, I have either go find several juvenile delinquents to beat or bake
something. I'll decide when either see a gun or a stove," then the
tall Amazon shoved her hands into her pockets and stalked off, finally
letting a few tears fall when they couldn't see her tortured emerald
eyes.
Minako and Rei turned to each other. Light blue clashed with deep
violet, and fury met rage. They both had so much to say to one
another. They all had so much to scream about and so much to blame one
another for. The words were starting to rise in their throats and
their eyes narrowed dangerously as their brains demanded them to speak.
Their breathing became reminiscent of bulls just before they charge the
matador and they tensed up so much their bodies shook. Finally, in the
same breath, they said just enough.
"Good bye,"
Then Minako turned on her heel and swiftly descended the stairs. She
was still shaking.
Then Rei and Mamoru were left alone. Both of them kept their eyes on
Minako as she left, neither one of them wanting to look at each other.
once the blonde was out of sight, they stared at the last place they
had seen her. They remained in that uncomfortable silence for a full
five minutes.
Finally Mamoru cleared his throat and softly said, "I should--"
"You didn't answer your phone because you knew it was me didn't you?"
Rei said softly.
Mamoru sighed, running his hands through his hair. He looked right in
her large, amethyst eyes and when he saw the hurt in them, he felt as
though he'd break right there. He quickly turned away and said, "Rei
please... Don't do this..."
"Tell the truth," Rei demanded quietly, "You're used to Minako calling
you on senshi business, and when you saw it was me, you didn't
answer--"
"God Rei it isn't always about you!"
"How can I know that when you won't talk to me?!" Rei shouted back at
him. She walked over to him and said, "Mamoru, please... I can handle
some things, but you have to talk to me! This isn't just you avoiding
me anymore! We needed you tonight and you weren't there." Rei noticed
he wasn't looking at her, so she took his face in her hands and made
him look at her, "Why can't you just tell me what is going on? If you
don't love me, fine. But why do you have to avoid me like the plague?"
Mamoru took her hands away from his face and dropped them. Then he
silently turned from her and walked away.
"Mamoru..." Rei said, defeated. She shook her head and screamed, "You
have to talk to me some day you know! You can't just pretend we never
touched! You can't act like I don't exist!" her voice broke slightly
and she got louder, "Damn you Mamoru!" then she felt her voice cracking
more and she stopped. Instead she turned and practically ran back to
the heart of the shrine, the sacred fire. She needed comfort and
counsel, and the fire was the only thing that would listen anymore...
Rei never heard Mamoru say, "Because I'm afraid..."
******************************************************* ****************
Back in the woods, Usagi had cleaned herself up as much as she could
and was now proceeding on doing the same for the house. She scrubbed
the floors, washed the windows, dusted the furniture, and only then did
she allow herself to have breakfast at exactly twelve thirty.
Usagi sighed, picking at the cold cereal she ate every morning. It was
amazing how such the terrible life she lead had become nothing more
than routine to her. It still hurt, she still cried, but it all ran
like clockwork. The defiance of earlier today had been the only thing
that had differed form the day before...
And it felt great.
It had been a miniscule, instantaneous bit of freedom for Usagi... And
just before she had gotten smacked for the disobedience, she had
experienced an incredible high. It had been like flying. She felt as
though all of the chains that held her down were gone. It was like she
had almost been free...
But then came the hands carrying the blows, the curses, and the
putdowns. As quickly as she had been liberated, Usagi had been yanked
back down into the muck. The blood had flowed out like water, and that
had bound her to this wretched place she called home for one day more.
And that day became two, and three, and four, until two weeks had
passed since Usagi's brief moment of freedom. Usagi remained in that
man's house, enduring the abuse, the awful words, and so much more.
She tried to hold her head high endure it all, but all she could think
of was leaving...
Before she had thought of escape as a passing fancy... She had thought
of her liberation as a fairy tale. Something that she could dream
about all she liked, but would never truly achieve. It was fantasy.
Fiction. Make believe.
But hadn't the same been said about going to the moon?
************************************************************ ***********
It had been two weeks since that awful attack on the young couple and
none of the senshi had been able to get past it.
Ami sat in her room, staring at the computer screen. Her eyes were red
from tears and there were dark circles under her eyes from staring at
her computer too long. She was behind in her classes (meaning she was
only two chapter ahead of the rest of the group) and spent every waking
hour just staring at the computer. She only got up when necessary,
eating at her desk, showering only every other day, only getting three
hours of sleep every three days. Her door was locked and the lights
all off.
Had her mother been home she surely would have called the doctor.
But Ami did have a purpose for her madness. She was not only an
aspiring doctor, but a scientist and a logical thinker. To Ami, all
problems had one answer. There was always one clear cut solution that
you could get to if you could just find out what the formula was. And
so, Ami was spending all of her energy searching for some kind of
answer to all the grief she was feeling... There had to be a way to
beat these monsters. There had to be a way to find the princess.
There had to be a way to make the senshi come together.
And it was up to Ami to find it.
But Ami wasn't even sure what she was looking for. She was like a
woman possessed by some unearthly force. her hands flew across the
keyboard at inhuman speeds as she typed seemingly random things into
the computer. And few of those things actually had anything to do with
her true purpose. And yet she was expecting the searches she performed
to yield some kind of result. She typed in things that seemed to have
no correlation whatsoever like "Serenity", "Rabbit", "Princess",
"Legends", "Tokyo Police Department", and "Odangos".
All that searching had gotten her was a well known legend about a
rabbit on the moon and a very unusual recipe for odangos that she was
sure not even Makoto knew. Ami was devastated. So much figuring, so
much planning, so much time... And she couldn't find out the answer.
Ami sat there, straight as a board, sobbing as she looked at a blank
computer screen.
That was it. Nothing.
Rei knelt on the floor of the shrine, her eyes wide open and unblinking
as she stared into the flames. She had gone into her trance many a
time since that awful disaster two weeks before, but her temper was so
sporadic that she could never stay in it for very long. She was
growing frustrated because she had trained herself so perfectly and
meticulously... She had been taught to wipe every single tainted
though out of her head when going into a trance, and now she couldn't
even do that.
The embers were beginning to reflect her soul, temperament, and
everything else that made Rei who she was. She had always been deeply
connected to fire, but when in the trance, she was like the sacred
flames. She was steady, consist, and ever burning. The flames did not
rise or fall all that much, they just were... But now she and the fire
that always burned in the heart of the shrine were uncontrollable.
Rei's voice was hoarse from the incessant chanting of the same words,
over and over again. But still, she spoke on...
"Rin, pyou, tou, sha, kai, jin, retsu, sai, zen... Rin, pyou, tou, sha,
kai, jin, retsu, sai, zen... Rin, pyou, tou, sha, kai, jin, retsu, sai,
zen. Rin, pyou, tou, sha, kai, jin, retsu, sai, zen. Rin, pyou, tou,
sha, kai, jin, retsu, sai, zen! RIN, PYOU, TOU, SHA, KAI, JIN, RETSU,
SAI ZEN!!"
Rei looked into the flames, as she screamed out the chant, becoming
frustrated with scrying and finding nothing. She saw things, but they
were all so random. A rabbit, headlights, wolves, trees, the moon,
a silhouette of a young girl, a gun, and odangos. And try as she
might, she couldn't make one thing fit in with another. Except of
course for that damn myth about a rabbit on the moon that she had
always despised.
Rei shut her eyes to the flames and let out a cry of frustration. Two
weeks she had searched for the princess or some way to beat these
monsters they were plagued with. Her grandfather had even called her
in sick because he knew that what she searched for had to be found.
All that effort and work and all she could get out of her endless toil
was food and fairy tales.
That was it. Nothing.
Makoto stared at her kitchen turned war zone almost in disgust. She
had searched for hooligans to pound into mincemeat, but had found none
by the time she reached home. So all she had done for two weeks was go
to school for eight hours a day and then come home and cook for hours
at a time. She rarely slept anymore, she just kept baking and baking
like her very life depended on it.
And it was rare when she ate anything.
She was so sick of all of this. Makoto loved to cook and it did help
to work out her aggressions, but she was tired of having them to begin
with. She had grown weary of the arguments and the disagreement of
the Sailor Senshi. The public didn't mark them as heroes or their
defenders... They were meddling school girls. Incompetents. Or worse,
they were some trick by "the enemy" (whoever or whatever that was) to
make them think there was some hope when in all actuality they were
doomed for death.
The Sailor Senshi were on the news every night and in every headline,
but it was all the same. They were failures, stupid, or evil. Never
mind the good things they had done. They were branded solely for what
they had lost.
The citizens of Tokyo seemed to believe that everyone must be perfect.
With a heavy sigh, Makoto sat down at her large kitchen table with
three chairs. She stared at the two empty chairs with the two empty
place settings for about five minutes and then looked down at her food.
She didn't know why, but something had made her crave Rabbit Tortellini
with Sage Butter and a few odangos. The strange thing was Makoto had
never even liked rabbit all that much...
Then Makoto looked over to the television which blared out something
about an attack at the Tokyo airport. The two news anchors were
arguing about whether or not it was a good thing that the senshi had
not shown up... And the only emotion Makoto could muster up was
nothing. The green eyed wonder was filled with indifference.
That was it. Nothing.
Minako sighed as she stood outside the window of the pet shop. Her sad
blue eyes flitted from the parakeets, to the pigeons. Then from the
frogs to the toads (not that she could tell the difference between one
or the other). And from the goldfish to the turtle. And then she made
the fatal mistake of looking from the dog to the...
Cat.
Minako looked away sharply, staring at the ground while hot tears
burned in her eyes. Why had she looked there? Why had she looked at
the cat? She had been amusing herself with the snakes, the mice, the
hamsters, and those really strange furry looking things that looked
more like balls of fluff than animals. What were they? Jamaican Hogs?
Minako told herself to forget about it and focus on something else, but
of course that led her right back to cats. She whimpered quietly and
stared at the lines and cracks in the sidewalk like her life depended
on it. She had been doing just fine without looking at the cat...
And for some strange reason Minako looked up again to see that it was a
pretty little white cat.
Minako groaned and banged her head on the glass display. It had to be
white to didn't it? She swore it was that color JUST because some
deity knew it would upset her. The entire universe was out to get her
and was constantly there to remind her of her mistake... And what she
had lost because of it.
But that little cat represented much more than just the one mistake
that had made her wary of looking at cats (and yet desperate to look in
pet shop windows anyway). It represented every single flub, mix up,
and catastrophe that had all had one tragic outcome.
Death.
No matter what Minako did, every battle they fought ended in death.
She would have absolutely no problem with this if it were merely
referring to death of the enemy (whoever the hell that was), but it was
also referring to death of the innocent victims that happened to get
mixed up in this deadly war. And no matter what she told the other, no
matter what kind of incentive or guidance she offered, she was met with
anger and more disappointments...
Minako sighed realizing that she was a bad leader, senshi, and all
around human being. What kind of leader let her team get so out of
whack? What kind of senshi let so many people die because that team
was so out of whack? And what kind of person could live with all that
weight and not allow herself to shed a tear.
Minako pondered those questions as she stared into the blue eyes of the
kitten. She kept her eyes on him intently as if he could give her some
answer... But then she realized that his eyes weren't green and the
only mark on his forehead was black, just like his right foot. The cat
remained silent and Minako's questions went on unanswered...
That was it. Nothing.
Mamoru sat in the corner of his bedroom, his head in his hands. Night
had fallen long ago, but he hadn't wanted to sleep. For every time he
closed his eyes, he was plagued with dreams of HER.
He hadn't told the other Sailor Senshi this, and he suspected he never
would. It wasn't any of their business and he doubt they would have
cared anyway. But ever since he had lost his parents in that terrible
car accident so many years ago (consequently they didn't know what had
happened to his parents either), he had had dreams. Dreams of a
gorgeous young woman dressed in white with a shining crescent moon
emblazoned in gold upon her forehead.
He knew it had to be the Moon princess they sought.
What he didn't know is why she appeared to him. Why she called to him
like she did. Every night it was the same, she would be standing on a
crystalline lake of silver water, an unseen wing blowing her hair back
but not creating ripples on the water. She would be staring at the
earth, her back to him. He would walk towards her, and just when he
was in arms length of her, she would turn to him and say the same
words...
"Find me... I am in danger... Find me... I am dying... Find me... I am
in pain... Find me... Please find me so we can be together once more...
My only love... My Endymion..."
Her voice would echo in the realms of his mind. The words would sing
out over and over again in his dreams. And she'd be staring at him,
clear blue eyes brimming with tears. He'd hear her haunting voice, but
her lips never moved. And those words would repeat again and again
until it seemed like they'd never stop resounding.
And then they'd suddenly stop.
The princess would blink and suddenly everything would fade to black.
Mamoru would be alone in a sea of endless darkness, and just like
before the dream had began, he'd be alone... Just him, endless ebony,
and his anguish...
That was it. Nothing.
********************************************************* **************
"Why do you want to keep me here?!" Usagi screamed, dodging the
miscalculated blows of her drunken stepfather. Yukio had come home in
another drunken rage after a bad day at work (although Usagi didn't see
how it was would be possible to have a good day when you were a cop)
and as usual, Yukio had seen it fit to take out his frustrations on his
daughter. Usagi had actually had the audacity to duck, and had once
again threatened to leave. This had only served to aggravate him more
and he had resorted to throw things at her. Now that he had run out of
objects, he was chasing her around the room, ready to kill her.
"Answer me!" Usagi cried through her tears, aching already from the few
blows he had managed to land.
"Shut up..." he slurred, lunging for her. Usagi ducked away from him,
knocking over a table in the process. He thundered and said, "Usagi!
Stand still!"
"Why?" Usagi sobbed, "So you can beat me again? I'm tired of getting
hit all the time! I want out! Drop me off at an orphanage! Put me
out on the street! Give me to another family! But please, don't make
me stay here!"
"You are not leaving!" he roared. He caught her arm and slammed her
into the wall. She cried out in pain, but he screamed above her, "Do
you hear me?! You are not leaving me!"
Usagi stared up into Yukio's dangerously wild eyes and whispered,
"Why...? Why can't you just let me go...?"
Yukio tossed her to the floor, warranting another cry from Usagi. He
loomed above her, glaring like a wild man. His hands made fists and
he was seething. Then he turned and began to stumble towards the
kitchen.
"If you don't let me go... I'll run! I swear I will!"
He either didn't hear her or he wasn't listening. Maybe he just didn't
take her seriously enough to answer her. But either way, he didn't
even acknowledge she had spoken.
Usagi let out a scream of frustration and pulled herself to her feet.
She wiped the blood from her mouth and the tears from her eyes, and now
she had had it. He didn't even think her strong enough to run away
from him...
Well she'd show him all right. She was leaving. Tonight.
Usagi looked over at the newspaper sitting on the table. She gasped
aloud and rushed over to it when she saw the four girls in mini skirts
and a man in a cape gracing the cover. She couldn't believe it. It
was impossible... Wasn't it?
She looked over the faces, but every time she tried to focus on them,
they seemed blurred. She wondered at first if she was crazy, but she
didn't care. Even though their faces were all unclear, she knew who
they were without even reading the article below. They were the Sailor
Senshi. He was Tuxedo Kamen. The same ones from her dream.
And now that she thought of it, she had never been able to see their
faces in her mind either. Usagi briefly wondered why she had never
noticed that before.
But she quickly discounted it. That didn't matter in the slightest.
They had been in her thoughts every night as she slept. Despite their
failures and animosity, they had been a ray of hope. They had given
her strength even in their weakness. Had they been told this, they
probably would have had her committed, but it wasn't like she would
ever meet them.
Usagi smiled and folded the front page of the paper up, sticking it in
her pocket unless her stepfather came down. She would take this with
her, as a reminder. She would always keep this to give her strength
when she felt weak. The senshi were now her idols, not that she would
publicly admit it... And Usagi loved them so because even when
everything looked grim, they fought on.
Usagi smiled as she recalled the headline... It was perhaps the only
kind article ever written about the senshi. She remembered it had been
written by some guy journalist named Kamada Yuuichiro. She would
remember that headline and it would be her new motto...
SOMETIMES IT'S DARKEST JUST BEFORE DAWN.
Usagi smiled slightly and looked out the window, ignoring all her pain
for a few brief moments. It was night now, dark, and there was no
moon. The night was darker than she had ever seen it...
The dawn of a new day would come... And it would bring her freedom.
~******************************************************** *************~
I know it seems as though the other senshi are getting a little more
screen time (so to speak) but there is a method to my madness. Now the
main focus shall be Usagi and when the senshi are seen, they shall most
likely be with our heroine. I was merely giving you a taste of what
life is like without Sailor Moon. Now you know, and now for the
liberation of a blonde.
This is dedicated to victims of abuse along with their friends, and
families. And if you are suffering from abuse of any kind, it isn't
hopeless. There are people and organizations that can and will help.
Also, if you know or suspect that someone is being abused, don't keep
it to yourself. Don't be a coward and look away. Do the right thing
and confront the problem. Get help, for yourself or for them...
please... don't do it because I'm telling you to. Do it for yourself
and the ones that didn't make it.
If you need help, call:
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE
The Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN)
1-800-656-HOPE
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD
Or call your local authorities or any state/local agencies that can
help you or someone you know get out of your situation.
Coming Soon: Chapter Three: Escape
Chapter Two: Defiance
3/15
by Kihin Ranno
goddess_branwen@hotmail.com
http://www.geocities.com/kihin_ra nno/starlithorizon.html
R
~~Date Started: September 15, 2002~~
~~Date Completed: September 20, 2002~~
Another new chapter. ^-^ I think the title gives you a good indication
of what's happening.
Now then, that being said, I'd like to just take this time and
interject the story with a short message... The abuse portrayed here is
at the very far end of the spectrum. Namely, it seems senseless and
without motive, without love. Yes abuse does declare a lack of love,
but often times abuse is discipline gone too far. Other forms of
abuse can be just the verbal, name calling putting down, making the
abused party feel worthless. Another form is sexual. Another is
neglect. Abuse varies. This fic is actually probably a bad example of
abuse because while an alarming amount of abuse is alcoholic related
and paternal, an alarming amount has nothing to do with alcohol or
drugs and is maternal or any combination thereof. And a lot has
nothing to do with the categories I described.
I would just like everyone to keep this in mind as they read... One of
the things I was concerned with going into this is that some people
might get this image stuck in their minds when they think of abuse.
There are millions of forms of abuse. And if you even so much suspect
that someone you might know is a victim, tell someone who can help. At
worst, you might embarrass yourself. And ask yourself if you're
willing to embarrass yourself or always wonder if maybe there was
something you could have done. And if you don't risk the embarrassment
and learn you were right when it's too late... Whose fault is that?
That being said, onto happier things. ^^ The disclaimer! --; Okay so
I lied... It's not particularly happy... It's incredibly tedious when
you get right down to it, but I would rather not be sued. Thusly,
This story is an alternate reality taking the characters from Sailor
Moon and inserting them into a different situation while remaining in
their own universe. In essence, I am screwing around with the story of
Sailor Moon because I can. This in no way reflects Naoko Takeuchi's
version of Sailor Moon or the anime version. However, I hold no claim
onto Sailor Moon as that is owned by Naoko, Bandai, Kodansha, Toei
Animation, Mixx, DiC, Cloverway, and I'm sure about 100,000 others. I
am merely doing this for my own sick amusement and once again, because
I can.
~************************************************************ *********~
Usagi lay on the floor of her room, gasping for air. Her entire body
and even her soul seemed to ache like it never had before. Every inch
of her was either bruised or bleeding. She squeezed her eyes shut as
that would somehow release the throbbing pain from her body, but it
remained just as strong.
Usagi tried to get up off of the floor of her stark room, but
everything just hurt to much. She managed to push herself up on her
elbows, only to fall to the wood once more. She gasped in pain and
frustration, and wanted to scream. But her throat was too dry to speak
much less scream. She bit her lip in frustration... She wanted to let
this emotion out, but she couldn't. Not yet.
Usagi did not cry, not wanting to show weakness before her stepfather,
but she did wish she could let the repressed tears flow. She desired
nothing more than to run somewhere where she could be safe, warm, maybe
even loved and cry until her eyes became so dry they shriveled. She
wanted the protection of someone's arms to shield her from this. She
would have done anything if it would mean finding someone who could
understand.
But no one could understand. There was no one who wanted to hear her
tale... There was no kind ear or sympathetic shoulder. She had learned
that long ago.
Usagi gasped as she felt her stepfather's toe lightly tap her as you
would do if you found road kill and wanted to see if it was dead. The
man knew that the teenager was alive, but he wanted to give her an
incentive, no matter how weak, to get her on her feet. Even that small
touch sent shockwaves of agony up and down her body. She fought back
the overwhelming urge to groan in pain and bit down on her lip so hard
she thought it might bleed. Then she heard his deep, rich voice
chuckle and say, "You better get up soon... if this place isn't clean
by the time I get back, you're going to be in for it,"
Then Yukio left for work, whistling happily.
Usagi growled in disgust as soon as she knew he was out of earshot.
She had been quite tempted to do it to his face, but why subject
herself to more pain? She shook her head slowly and let out the
tiniest sob when she heard the downstairs door close. It was like this
every day, but she never got used to it... And something about today's
beating had made all the others pale in comparison.
Usagi had never known what defiance would do to him, for she had never
defied him before. She hadn't expected that he would be particularly
pleased, but a thrashing of that magnitude had taken her completely
off guard. Perhaps she should have anticipated, but then hindsight
was always 20/20. There was one thing that Usagi couldn't understand
at all...
Why had he been so angry when she said she wanted to leave?
Usagi couldn't believe it. Wouldn't Yukio want to get rid of her? It
wasn't as if she was all that useful around here. He certainly had no
emotional attachment to her... He did have a legal obligation to take
care of her, but he hadn't exactly been abiding by those laws for about
fourteen years now.
What possible reason could he have for wanting her to stay? It just
didn't make any sense to her. He had made it very clear that he
despised her, yet he had thrown a royal fit when she offered to leave
him...
Usagi sighed, knowing she had better not waste her time thinking about
that now... All that really mattered was that he wanted her to stay, so
for the time being she was stuck in her own private hell hole. So she
decided she might as well perform her labors for the day. She needed
to clean the whole house before her stepfather got home. Her one
consolation was that as a policeman, her stepfather was not a rich man
and did not have a large house.
So Usagi took a deep breath and literally dragged herself over to her
bed. Then she grasped onto the side and hoisted herself up, falling on
the bed. Those few movements alone had taken more out of her than she
cared for. She lay there for a few minutes, taking deep, frantic
breaths.
After five minutes, she felt that she might be able to move about.
Usagi took another deep breath and pushed herself up on her elbows and
eventually had both of her feet on the ground. She was by no means
entirely steady, but it was better than nothing. Then she staggered
over to her bathroom so she might clean her wounds, wash up, and go
through her daily routine....
Until Daddy got home.
************************************************************ ***********
Meanwhile, back in urban Tokyo, the Sailor Senshi were now at the
Hikawa Jinja, having their usual post-screw-up-get-together. Minako
was sitting on the top of the stairs, her arms folded across her chest
and her face growing steadily rather. her eyes were closed so she did
not notice Rei sitting about three steps below her, mirroring her
position. Only her anger was directed at Minako and her face was
already as red as it got. Makoto was lying down on the same step Rei
was situated on, but on the other side of the blonde. She was looking
up at the stars, trying to control all the emotions bubbling up inside
her. Ami was a few steps away from all of them, trying to separate
herself from the others. Her back was straight and her head down, but
her shoulders still violently shook with sobs. Mamoru was off under a
tree, letting the shadow hide his face so they couldn't see him.
Rei's grandfather was inside, shaking his head at the lot of them. He
knew better than to stick his nose into Rei's life, but sometimes it
got painful to watch this group. He didn't understand why they
couldn't seem to get along. He turned away and murmured, "Kami-sama,
give them strength... And give them time,"
Minako finally got sick of the silent brooding. She did not leap to
her feet or look at who she was speaking to, but everyone knew. She
opened her blue eyes which were brimming with tears and said, "Where
were you?"
Mamoru tensed and looked down, not that anyway could see. He ran a
hand through his hair and muttered, "I didn't know anything was
happening..."
"I called your cell phone three times," Rei said through clenched
teeth, "You never answered my calls. I left voicemail messages Mamoru.
You obviously got them because you did eventually show up when the
fight was over."
"Now tell us why didn't you answer them?" Minako said sternly.
"What is this? The Spanish Inquisition?" Makoto said, annoyed. She
sat up, her eyes holding some indefinable spark as she continued, "He
made a mistake. So he was late. So what? We probably would have
screwed up without him."
"God knows we have before..." Ami said quietly, in between sobs.
Everyone's eyebrows shot up to the top of their heads when Ami spoke.
Usually the blue haired genius would keep to herself during their
tiffs. This was the first time that she had offered any input other
than for them to calm down
Rei stood and walked down to Ami and said, "What did you say?"
Ami looked up at the Shinto miko, a fire in her eyes and a backbone
newly implanted for her straight posture. She blinked back her tears
and bit back her fear and said, "I said God knows we have before! You
act as though it's Mamoru's fault that we let that girl die. It's not!
It's all our fault!"
Minako leapt to her feet, something snapping within her, and she
shouted, "Our fault? OUR fault?! I fought for a year without any of
you! I never lost anyone to death, kidnapping, or anything like that!"
Makoto stood up as well and said, "Oh would you shut up about your
Sailor V days? I am sick and tired about hearing about the good ole
days! can't you just accept that we aren't you and we make mistakes?!"
"How can she accept that when people keep dying because of them!" Ami
screeched hysterically.
"We're not the ones killing them!" Rei shouted back at her.
"We are the ones letting them die!" Minako said, running down to Rei
and Ami with Makoto just behind her, "If we'd stop bickering then--"
"And who usually starts the fighting, Minako?" Rei hissed.
Minako quite literally growled and screamed, "Just because I'd like to
win one fight, or go one day without watching another innocent human
being die, doesn't mean I'm a bloody tyrant!"
"Doesn't it?" Rei snapped.
"Stop it all of you," Mamoru said, rubbing his temples as he came
towards them, "We're supposed to be a team remember? That means
getting along and fighting together for a common good."
"How can we get there if we keep letting people die?!" Ami shouted
back. She had never been this gripped by her own emotions before, and
for once in her life she wasn't thinking things through, "I'm supposed
to grow up to be a doctor. That means saving lives. I feel like we're
taking them all the time."
"We saved Yuki didn't we?" Makoto said sharply, "Doesn't that count for
anything?"
"We still couldn't save her! Doesn't anyone care about her?!" Ami
shrieked.
"Of course we care!" Rei screamed, "We're not heartless Ami! It's not
like we just stood back and watched her die! We tried! We all tried
to save her life, and we couldn't! That doesn't make us evil!"
"She's right Ami," Mamoru said gently, "Maybe we all could have done
better. But we'll never know. So we shouldn't spend our time worrying
about it,"
Ami stared at all of them in disbelief, "Let... Let it go? I'm
supposed to let this go..." Ami shook her head and said, "I can't just
let this go! I can't move on! I can't get past this! And it isn't
just tonight! It's all the times we've argued or screwed up or waited
too long to act or ANYTHING that resulted in the death of one human
being! Because one becomes two, and that two becomes ten, and the ten
becomes a hundred until everyone is DEAD! And I don't care if I won't
go to hell for it... I'll throw myself in if they refuse to send me!
If I'm not there already..." then Ami couldn't take it anymore and ran
off, ignoring their cries for her to come back.
"Well that went well," Makoto said snidely, "If you three will excuse
me, I have either go find several juvenile delinquents to beat or bake
something. I'll decide when either see a gun or a stove," then the
tall Amazon shoved her hands into her pockets and stalked off, finally
letting a few tears fall when they couldn't see her tortured emerald
eyes.
Minako and Rei turned to each other. Light blue clashed with deep
violet, and fury met rage. They both had so much to say to one
another. They all had so much to scream about and so much to blame one
another for. The words were starting to rise in their throats and
their eyes narrowed dangerously as their brains demanded them to speak.
Their breathing became reminiscent of bulls just before they charge the
matador and they tensed up so much their bodies shook. Finally, in the
same breath, they said just enough.
"Good bye,"
Then Minako turned on her heel and swiftly descended the stairs. She
was still shaking.
Then Rei and Mamoru were left alone. Both of them kept their eyes on
Minako as she left, neither one of them wanting to look at each other.
once the blonde was out of sight, they stared at the last place they
had seen her. They remained in that uncomfortable silence for a full
five minutes.
Finally Mamoru cleared his throat and softly said, "I should--"
"You didn't answer your phone because you knew it was me didn't you?"
Rei said softly.
Mamoru sighed, running his hands through his hair. He looked right in
her large, amethyst eyes and when he saw the hurt in them, he felt as
though he'd break right there. He quickly turned away and said, "Rei
please... Don't do this..."
"Tell the truth," Rei demanded quietly, "You're used to Minako calling
you on senshi business, and when you saw it was me, you didn't
answer--"
"God Rei it isn't always about you!"
"How can I know that when you won't talk to me?!" Rei shouted back at
him. She walked over to him and said, "Mamoru, please... I can handle
some things, but you have to talk to me! This isn't just you avoiding
me anymore! We needed you tonight and you weren't there." Rei noticed
he wasn't looking at her, so she took his face in her hands and made
him look at her, "Why can't you just tell me what is going on? If you
don't love me, fine. But why do you have to avoid me like the plague?"
Mamoru took her hands away from his face and dropped them. Then he
silently turned from her and walked away.
"Mamoru..." Rei said, defeated. She shook her head and screamed, "You
have to talk to me some day you know! You can't just pretend we never
touched! You can't act like I don't exist!" her voice broke slightly
and she got louder, "Damn you Mamoru!" then she felt her voice cracking
more and she stopped. Instead she turned and practically ran back to
the heart of the shrine, the sacred fire. She needed comfort and
counsel, and the fire was the only thing that would listen anymore...
Rei never heard Mamoru say, "Because I'm afraid..."
******************************************************* ****************
Back in the woods, Usagi had cleaned herself up as much as she could
and was now proceeding on doing the same for the house. She scrubbed
the floors, washed the windows, dusted the furniture, and only then did
she allow herself to have breakfast at exactly twelve thirty.
Usagi sighed, picking at the cold cereal she ate every morning. It was
amazing how such the terrible life she lead had become nothing more
than routine to her. It still hurt, she still cried, but it all ran
like clockwork. The defiance of earlier today had been the only thing
that had differed form the day before...
And it felt great.
It had been a miniscule, instantaneous bit of freedom for Usagi... And
just before she had gotten smacked for the disobedience, she had
experienced an incredible high. It had been like flying. She felt as
though all of the chains that held her down were gone. It was like she
had almost been free...
But then came the hands carrying the blows, the curses, and the
putdowns. As quickly as she had been liberated, Usagi had been yanked
back down into the muck. The blood had flowed out like water, and that
had bound her to this wretched place she called home for one day more.
And that day became two, and three, and four, until two weeks had
passed since Usagi's brief moment of freedom. Usagi remained in that
man's house, enduring the abuse, the awful words, and so much more.
She tried to hold her head high endure it all, but all she could think
of was leaving...
Before she had thought of escape as a passing fancy... She had thought
of her liberation as a fairy tale. Something that she could dream
about all she liked, but would never truly achieve. It was fantasy.
Fiction. Make believe.
But hadn't the same been said about going to the moon?
************************************************************ ***********
It had been two weeks since that awful attack on the young couple and
none of the senshi had been able to get past it.
Ami sat in her room, staring at the computer screen. Her eyes were red
from tears and there were dark circles under her eyes from staring at
her computer too long. She was behind in her classes (meaning she was
only two chapter ahead of the rest of the group) and spent every waking
hour just staring at the computer. She only got up when necessary,
eating at her desk, showering only every other day, only getting three
hours of sleep every three days. Her door was locked and the lights
all off.
Had her mother been home she surely would have called the doctor.
But Ami did have a purpose for her madness. She was not only an
aspiring doctor, but a scientist and a logical thinker. To Ami, all
problems had one answer. There was always one clear cut solution that
you could get to if you could just find out what the formula was. And
so, Ami was spending all of her energy searching for some kind of
answer to all the grief she was feeling... There had to be a way to
beat these monsters. There had to be a way to find the princess.
There had to be a way to make the senshi come together.
And it was up to Ami to find it.
But Ami wasn't even sure what she was looking for. She was like a
woman possessed by some unearthly force. her hands flew across the
keyboard at inhuman speeds as she typed seemingly random things into
the computer. And few of those things actually had anything to do with
her true purpose. And yet she was expecting the searches she performed
to yield some kind of result. She typed in things that seemed to have
no correlation whatsoever like "Serenity", "Rabbit", "Princess",
"Legends", "Tokyo Police Department", and "Odangos".
All that searching had gotten her was a well known legend about a
rabbit on the moon and a very unusual recipe for odangos that she was
sure not even Makoto knew. Ami was devastated. So much figuring, so
much planning, so much time... And she couldn't find out the answer.
Ami sat there, straight as a board, sobbing as she looked at a blank
computer screen.
That was it. Nothing.
Rei knelt on the floor of the shrine, her eyes wide open and unblinking
as she stared into the flames. She had gone into her trance many a
time since that awful disaster two weeks before, but her temper was so
sporadic that she could never stay in it for very long. She was
growing frustrated because she had trained herself so perfectly and
meticulously... She had been taught to wipe every single tainted
though out of her head when going into a trance, and now she couldn't
even do that.
The embers were beginning to reflect her soul, temperament, and
everything else that made Rei who she was. She had always been deeply
connected to fire, but when in the trance, she was like the sacred
flames. She was steady, consist, and ever burning. The flames did not
rise or fall all that much, they just were... But now she and the fire
that always burned in the heart of the shrine were uncontrollable.
Rei's voice was hoarse from the incessant chanting of the same words,
over and over again. But still, she spoke on...
"Rin, pyou, tou, sha, kai, jin, retsu, sai, zen... Rin, pyou, tou, sha,
kai, jin, retsu, sai, zen... Rin, pyou, tou, sha, kai, jin, retsu, sai,
zen. Rin, pyou, tou, sha, kai, jin, retsu, sai, zen. Rin, pyou, tou,
sha, kai, jin, retsu, sai, zen! RIN, PYOU, TOU, SHA, KAI, JIN, RETSU,
SAI ZEN!!"
Rei looked into the flames, as she screamed out the chant, becoming
frustrated with scrying and finding nothing. She saw things, but they
were all so random. A rabbit, headlights, wolves, trees, the moon,
a silhouette of a young girl, a gun, and odangos. And try as she
might, she couldn't make one thing fit in with another. Except of
course for that damn myth about a rabbit on the moon that she had
always despised.
Rei shut her eyes to the flames and let out a cry of frustration. Two
weeks she had searched for the princess or some way to beat these
monsters they were plagued with. Her grandfather had even called her
in sick because he knew that what she searched for had to be found.
All that effort and work and all she could get out of her endless toil
was food and fairy tales.
That was it. Nothing.
Makoto stared at her kitchen turned war zone almost in disgust. She
had searched for hooligans to pound into mincemeat, but had found none
by the time she reached home. So all she had done for two weeks was go
to school for eight hours a day and then come home and cook for hours
at a time. She rarely slept anymore, she just kept baking and baking
like her very life depended on it.
And it was rare when she ate anything.
She was so sick of all of this. Makoto loved to cook and it did help
to work out her aggressions, but she was tired of having them to begin
with. She had grown weary of the arguments and the disagreement of
the Sailor Senshi. The public didn't mark them as heroes or their
defenders... They were meddling school girls. Incompetents. Or worse,
they were some trick by "the enemy" (whoever or whatever that was) to
make them think there was some hope when in all actuality they were
doomed for death.
The Sailor Senshi were on the news every night and in every headline,
but it was all the same. They were failures, stupid, or evil. Never
mind the good things they had done. They were branded solely for what
they had lost.
The citizens of Tokyo seemed to believe that everyone must be perfect.
With a heavy sigh, Makoto sat down at her large kitchen table with
three chairs. She stared at the two empty chairs with the two empty
place settings for about five minutes and then looked down at her food.
She didn't know why, but something had made her crave Rabbit Tortellini
with Sage Butter and a few odangos. The strange thing was Makoto had
never even liked rabbit all that much...
Then Makoto looked over to the television which blared out something
about an attack at the Tokyo airport. The two news anchors were
arguing about whether or not it was a good thing that the senshi had
not shown up... And the only emotion Makoto could muster up was
nothing. The green eyed wonder was filled with indifference.
That was it. Nothing.
Minako sighed as she stood outside the window of the pet shop. Her sad
blue eyes flitted from the parakeets, to the pigeons. Then from the
frogs to the toads (not that she could tell the difference between one
or the other). And from the goldfish to the turtle. And then she made
the fatal mistake of looking from the dog to the...
Cat.
Minako looked away sharply, staring at the ground while hot tears
burned in her eyes. Why had she looked there? Why had she looked at
the cat? She had been amusing herself with the snakes, the mice, the
hamsters, and those really strange furry looking things that looked
more like balls of fluff than animals. What were they? Jamaican Hogs?
Minako told herself to forget about it and focus on something else, but
of course that led her right back to cats. She whimpered quietly and
stared at the lines and cracks in the sidewalk like her life depended
on it. She had been doing just fine without looking at the cat...
And for some strange reason Minako looked up again to see that it was a
pretty little white cat.
Minako groaned and banged her head on the glass display. It had to be
white to didn't it? She swore it was that color JUST because some
deity knew it would upset her. The entire universe was out to get her
and was constantly there to remind her of her mistake... And what she
had lost because of it.
But that little cat represented much more than just the one mistake
that had made her wary of looking at cats (and yet desperate to look in
pet shop windows anyway). It represented every single flub, mix up,
and catastrophe that had all had one tragic outcome.
Death.
No matter what Minako did, every battle they fought ended in death.
She would have absolutely no problem with this if it were merely
referring to death of the enemy (whoever the hell that was), but it was
also referring to death of the innocent victims that happened to get
mixed up in this deadly war. And no matter what she told the other, no
matter what kind of incentive or guidance she offered, she was met with
anger and more disappointments...
Minako sighed realizing that she was a bad leader, senshi, and all
around human being. What kind of leader let her team get so out of
whack? What kind of senshi let so many people die because that team
was so out of whack? And what kind of person could live with all that
weight and not allow herself to shed a tear.
Minako pondered those questions as she stared into the blue eyes of the
kitten. She kept her eyes on him intently as if he could give her some
answer... But then she realized that his eyes weren't green and the
only mark on his forehead was black, just like his right foot. The cat
remained silent and Minako's questions went on unanswered...
That was it. Nothing.
Mamoru sat in the corner of his bedroom, his head in his hands. Night
had fallen long ago, but he hadn't wanted to sleep. For every time he
closed his eyes, he was plagued with dreams of HER.
He hadn't told the other Sailor Senshi this, and he suspected he never
would. It wasn't any of their business and he doubt they would have
cared anyway. But ever since he had lost his parents in that terrible
car accident so many years ago (consequently they didn't know what had
happened to his parents either), he had had dreams. Dreams of a
gorgeous young woman dressed in white with a shining crescent moon
emblazoned in gold upon her forehead.
He knew it had to be the Moon princess they sought.
What he didn't know is why she appeared to him. Why she called to him
like she did. Every night it was the same, she would be standing on a
crystalline lake of silver water, an unseen wing blowing her hair back
but not creating ripples on the water. She would be staring at the
earth, her back to him. He would walk towards her, and just when he
was in arms length of her, she would turn to him and say the same
words...
"Find me... I am in danger... Find me... I am dying... Find me... I am
in pain... Find me... Please find me so we can be together once more...
My only love... My Endymion..."
Her voice would echo in the realms of his mind. The words would sing
out over and over again in his dreams. And she'd be staring at him,
clear blue eyes brimming with tears. He'd hear her haunting voice, but
her lips never moved. And those words would repeat again and again
until it seemed like they'd never stop resounding.
And then they'd suddenly stop.
The princess would blink and suddenly everything would fade to black.
Mamoru would be alone in a sea of endless darkness, and just like
before the dream had began, he'd be alone... Just him, endless ebony,
and his anguish...
That was it. Nothing.
********************************************************* **************
"Why do you want to keep me here?!" Usagi screamed, dodging the
miscalculated blows of her drunken stepfather. Yukio had come home in
another drunken rage after a bad day at work (although Usagi didn't see
how it was would be possible to have a good day when you were a cop)
and as usual, Yukio had seen it fit to take out his frustrations on his
daughter. Usagi had actually had the audacity to duck, and had once
again threatened to leave. This had only served to aggravate him more
and he had resorted to throw things at her. Now that he had run out of
objects, he was chasing her around the room, ready to kill her.
"Answer me!" Usagi cried through her tears, aching already from the few
blows he had managed to land.
"Shut up..." he slurred, lunging for her. Usagi ducked away from him,
knocking over a table in the process. He thundered and said, "Usagi!
Stand still!"
"Why?" Usagi sobbed, "So you can beat me again? I'm tired of getting
hit all the time! I want out! Drop me off at an orphanage! Put me
out on the street! Give me to another family! But please, don't make
me stay here!"
"You are not leaving!" he roared. He caught her arm and slammed her
into the wall. She cried out in pain, but he screamed above her, "Do
you hear me?! You are not leaving me!"
Usagi stared up into Yukio's dangerously wild eyes and whispered,
"Why...? Why can't you just let me go...?"
Yukio tossed her to the floor, warranting another cry from Usagi. He
loomed above her, glaring like a wild man. His hands made fists and
he was seething. Then he turned and began to stumble towards the
kitchen.
"If you don't let me go... I'll run! I swear I will!"
He either didn't hear her or he wasn't listening. Maybe he just didn't
take her seriously enough to answer her. But either way, he didn't
even acknowledge she had spoken.
Usagi let out a scream of frustration and pulled herself to her feet.
She wiped the blood from her mouth and the tears from her eyes, and now
she had had it. He didn't even think her strong enough to run away
from him...
Well she'd show him all right. She was leaving. Tonight.
Usagi looked over at the newspaper sitting on the table. She gasped
aloud and rushed over to it when she saw the four girls in mini skirts
and a man in a cape gracing the cover. She couldn't believe it. It
was impossible... Wasn't it?
She looked over the faces, but every time she tried to focus on them,
they seemed blurred. She wondered at first if she was crazy, but she
didn't care. Even though their faces were all unclear, she knew who
they were without even reading the article below. They were the Sailor
Senshi. He was Tuxedo Kamen. The same ones from her dream.
And now that she thought of it, she had never been able to see their
faces in her mind either. Usagi briefly wondered why she had never
noticed that before.
But she quickly discounted it. That didn't matter in the slightest.
They had been in her thoughts every night as she slept. Despite their
failures and animosity, they had been a ray of hope. They had given
her strength even in their weakness. Had they been told this, they
probably would have had her committed, but it wasn't like she would
ever meet them.
Usagi smiled and folded the front page of the paper up, sticking it in
her pocket unless her stepfather came down. She would take this with
her, as a reminder. She would always keep this to give her strength
when she felt weak. The senshi were now her idols, not that she would
publicly admit it... And Usagi loved them so because even when
everything looked grim, they fought on.
Usagi smiled as she recalled the headline... It was perhaps the only
kind article ever written about the senshi. She remembered it had been
written by some guy journalist named Kamada Yuuichiro. She would
remember that headline and it would be her new motto...
SOMETIMES IT'S DARKEST JUST BEFORE DAWN.
Usagi smiled slightly and looked out the window, ignoring all her pain
for a few brief moments. It was night now, dark, and there was no
moon. The night was darker than she had ever seen it...
The dawn of a new day would come... And it would bring her freedom.
~******************************************************** *************~
I know it seems as though the other senshi are getting a little more
screen time (so to speak) but there is a method to my madness. Now the
main focus shall be Usagi and when the senshi are seen, they shall most
likely be with our heroine. I was merely giving you a taste of what
life is like without Sailor Moon. Now you know, and now for the
liberation of a blonde.
This is dedicated to victims of abuse along with their friends, and
families. And if you are suffering from abuse of any kind, it isn't
hopeless. There are people and organizations that can and will help.
Also, if you know or suspect that someone is being abused, don't keep
it to yourself. Don't be a coward and look away. Do the right thing
and confront the problem. Get help, for yourself or for them...
please... don't do it because I'm telling you to. Do it for yourself
and the ones that didn't make it.
If you need help, call:
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE
The Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN)
1-800-656-HOPE
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD
Or call your local authorities or any state/local agencies that can
help you or someone you know get out of your situation.
Coming Soon: Chapter Three: Escape