Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Russian Roulette ❯ Chapter 9

For as calm as she had been throughout the incident with Makoto and her raising of Haruka, Michiru suddenly found herself unable to control her emotions. Upon seeing her long lost friend standing there in front of her, alive, Michiru's eyes welled up with tears as she threw her arms around the green-haired woman.

 

"Setsuna!" she cried. "Setsuna, you're back. Oh, geez, you don't know how much I've missed you!"

 

"Hello, Michiru," Setsuna said calmly, stroking her old friend's shoulder. Even if Setsuna didn't remember everything, Michiru remembered very well. And Setsuna did not want to hurt her ally and fellow outer senshi any more than she had already been hurt.

 

"Mama?" The door to Haruka's room swung open and the young girl peeked her head out. She saw the two women standing in the doorway, one of them her mother, the other unknown, yet somehow distantly familiar. "Mama, who's this?" she asked.

 

Michiru released her grip on Setsuna's shoulder and quickly dried her eyes.

 

"This is... an old friend of mine," she explained simply. "Her name is Setsuna Meiou." Haruka rolled her wheelchair up to the tall long-haired woman and extended her hand.

 

"Pleased to meet you, Meioh-san," she said politely. Setsuna smiled and took the small girl's hand. So this was the Uranus princess' reborn form. She marveled at her innocence, and could feel her strength as their hands touched.

 

"Doesn't someone still have homework to do?" Michiru asked. Haruka sighed.

 

"You'll have to excuse my mama," she said to Setsuna. "She gets so caught up in work she forgets how to have fun."

 

"That'll be enough of you, young lady," Michiru scolded, as she pointed down the hallway.

 

"Yes, Mama," Haruka replied as she rotated herself in the direction her mother pointed and headed back for her room.

 

"She's strong," Setsuna observed after the door was shut. "I could feel it in her spirit when I touched her hand."

 

"So I'm told," Michiru said as she moved towards the kitchen to start dinner. Setsuna waited for a moment to see if Michiru would continue the conversation, but when the room remained silent, she felt it important to state another observation she had made.

 

"But you don't seem to have the strength I thought you would." That stopped Michiru cold.

 

"What do you mean?" she asked.

 

"I mean, for one who survived the attack by Chaos and is now married to a loving man with a beautiful daughter, your presence brings an unusual air of sadness."

 

"Why does everyone expect me to be so happy?" Michiru asked.

 

"Why do you expect yourself to be so sad?" Setsuna countered. "You mourn your friends, that is natural. But almost ten years later, you still only see what you lost, not what you've gained." Michiru was about to object to that comment too, but unfortunately, the opening of the door interrupted her. She hurried back to the living room, but not before giving Setsuna an irritated we'll-finish-this-later type of look.

 

"I'm home!" a man's voice called out. "Michiru? Haruka?"

 

"Right here, dear," Michiru said, leaning in and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Haruka's in her room. She had her first day of school today."

 

"I know, I'm so sorry I couldn't be there to see her off. But I'm sure she's got all kinds of things to tell me." He glanced up to see Setsuna standing in the kitchen doorway. "And, um... who's this?"

 

"This is Setsuna, a friend of mine," Michiru explained. Nathan looked confused at first, glancing first at his wife then at her friend. But whatever it was that was bothering him, he passed it off in a moment and went to greet Setsuna with a warm handshake and a friendly smile.

 

"Very pleased to meet you," he said.

 

"Likewise, Mr. Kaiou," she answered. As the two introduced themselves, Michiru looked nervously down at the floor. She couldn't shake what Setsuna had said to her from her mind.

 

"Um, Setsuna, do you need somewhere to stay for the night?" she finally asked. Setsuna shook her head.

 

"Thank you, but I've already found an apartment of my own, which I should probably be getting back to now. I only stopped in to say hello."

 

"Oh," said Michiru disappointed. "Well, come by and visit us again then."

 

Setsuna smiled. "Of course."

That night Michiru lay silently in her bed, staring up at the ceiling, her body refusing to give into sleep.

 

"Nathan?" she asked quietly. Her husband stirred.

 

"Yes, love?"

 

"Do we have a happy marriage?" It was a blunt question, and Michiru felt bad for asking it, but ever since she had spoken to Setsuna, she couldn't get the feelings away from her. Had she really allowed her grief to control her life so badly?

 

"Why do you ask?" Nathan wanted to know. He wasn't accusing, wasn't shock, it sounded more like question made out of curiosity. Michiru shrugged her shoulders.

 

"I don't know," she said. "I guess I let something Setsuna said get to me, but..." She looked into her husband's eyes, deep blue, filled with love for her. Love she feared she was not returning.

 

"Is this about my business trip?" Nathan asked. Michiru shook her head.

 

"No, it isn't that. You are a wonderful father and husband; I couldn't ask for more. It's me I'm worried about."

 

"You?" Nathan questioned. "What do you think's wrong with you?"

 

"Answer me honestly," Michiru said. "Do I seem happy? Do I look like a happy person?" She stared desperately into Nathan's eyes, quite sure of the absurdity of her questions, as her face could not possibly look happy now.

 

"You seem... like you're trying to build a happy life," said Nathan. "But something's holding you back. I think I've noticed it more these past couple years, starting after we got Haruka her wheelchair."

 

Michiru gasped and covered her mouth. It was true; when Haruka was a baby, things weren't that complicated. Michiru could still concentrate on the new life she had found with her husband. But as Haruka grew older, began to talk, began to need still help where other children were doing things on their own, it made Michiru remember times before. And long for them.

 

"I know you said there was some kind of accident ten years ago," he said quietly. "Something happened in which you lost all of your friends, all except Usagi. I never pushed you for details, because I loved you and I didn't want to see you hurt. But now I'm afraid that by not letting you talk it out, I've made you suffer more."

 

Michiru shook her head again. "I wouldn't have talked about, even if you asked me," she said. "Even if you pleaded with me, I wouldn't have budged. It's just... how I deal with things, I guess."

 

Nathan put a loving arm around his wife.

 

"Do you want to talk about it now?" he asked quietly. Michiru sighed. It had been a long time, and although she had shared much of herself with Nathan, there was thing in her past which she did not share. And she felt it was time Nathan knew it. All of it.