Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Selves ❯ The Universe to Answer ( Chapter 1 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Elsewhere 
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Romance / Angst | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 03.26.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.7K | Visits: 1.4K | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Sailor Moon Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Romance / Angst | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 03.26.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.7K | Visits: 1.4K | Status: Completed
Fandom: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon: Sailor Stars (anime)
Date Finished: November 12th, 2004
Classification: Romance, Angst, Humor, Alternate Universe
Pairing: Seiya/Yaten/Taiki
Rating: NC-17
Note: Written for yaoi_challenge 2004 (http://www.livejournal.com/communities/yaoi_challenge/).
Selves
By Elsewhere
elsewherecw@shaw.ca
Disclaimer: The Three Lights and their world aren't mine.
Lyrics are from 'Selves' by Luna Sea, translated by ami (http://www.geocities.co.jp/MusicStar-Piano/1957/lyrics/).
Yaten's outburst in the studio is from the prologue on his CD single, as translated by kurozuki. (http://www.kurozuki.com)
Distribution: If you want this story for any page other than the ones I've sent it to, please ask me first, so I know where it goes.
Spoilers: Minimal.
The prompt for this was: <I>After a very heated exchange, Character A pulls Character B aside and partially undresses him (rips open his shirt or exposes some private part of his body ) and comments aloud about his discovery, detailing his appreciation of this or that on the other's body. This is all done where he may be inadvertently seen or overheard.</I>
Summary: Yaten is behaving even worse than usual, and Seiya's attempt to find the source of Yaten's frustration leads to an encounter none of the Three Lights could have expected...
Part One: The Universe to Answer
*****
The world created by this age
Is getting colder and colder
So cold that I can't even feel the pain
The world that I met you in
Is falling into ruins
Why doesn't the sky answer me?
*****
So far, the interview wasn't going well. Taiki was obviously bored and uncomfortable. He was fanning some poor fan's unread letter against his face, trying to find some relief in the stifling heat of the studio. Across from him, Seiya was slouched back in his chair, nearly asleep, and sitting between the two of them, cold green eyes narrowed in obvious annoyance, was Yaten. The oldest member of the group had so far managed not to say anything terribly scathing or damaging, but if either of his bandmates had been paying attention they would have noticed that Yaten's patience was wearing thin.
All of this, and they were only five minutes into the actual interview. The radio announcer looked increasingly peeved at the noncommittal answers he was receiving to his comments, but he didn't vocalize his displeasure. He kept glancing at Yaten sideways. It wouldn't take a genius to guess what made him hesitant to speak his mind.
Eventually, however, he had to come to it, and the announcer swallowed and loosened his collar a bit before he carefully addressed the smallest of the three singers.
"Well, ladies and gentlemen, now you've met two of the Three Lights, and what else can we do but allow you to meet the third."
Yaten's lip curled slightly.
"Would you tell the audience your name, please?" The announcer looked as though he would rather have continued his stiff conversation with Taiki, or even his almost entirely one-sided one with Seiya.
"My name? Yaten Kou," Yaten said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. His eyes were like two little witch fires, burning green flame. "Age 16, blood type B, first year, class one, Juuban High School, born February 8th, sign of Aquarius."
The announcer blinked at this flood of information, and opened his mouth to reply, but Yaten wasn't finished yet.
"Say, Mr. Showbiz reporter," Yaten said, feigning a conversational tone as he folded his hands on the table and stared even more boldly into the announcer's eyes. "What do you plan to do, asking us all these questions?"
The announcer drew in a breath, but again he was cut off by the tired, spiteful tone of his guest.
" 'Show us everything about the reality of the Three Lights!'" Yaten scoffed, his lip noticeably curled by then. The announcer thanked his lucky stars that this wasn't a television interview.
"What reality?" Yaten almost spat. "You don't know anything about the real us! Just stop already!"
He finished by flipping his long silver ponytail over his shoulder, an irritated gesture, before he crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, obviously having given all that he was willing to give.
Luckily for the announcer, who didn't know how to reply, by then the other two members of the popular boy band had become aware of what was actually going on around them. There were no more than a few seconds of tense silence before, as the announcer watched, a sort of chaos erupted in the small space of his studio. Seiya was the first to move, looking very much awake as he leaned forward towards the microphone. Even as Taiki stood up and grabbed Yaten, hauling him out of his chair and shoving him towards the door of the studio, Seiya spoke into the mic, his tone only barely conveying a sense of his very forced smile.
"Sorry about that, everyone...Yaten didn't get his nap today, so he's a little cranky. We'll be sure to get him home and to bed right away. Thanks for your time!"
With that, Seiya got to his feet and met Taiki at the doorway, where he and Yaten were currently engaged in a sort of staring contest, Yaten's eyes narrowed with anger and Taiki's utterly chill.
"B-but wait, the rest of the show...!" the announcer started helplessly, but the Lights ignored him, moving out into the hallway. Seiya closed the door behind himself as silently as he could.
"Damn it, Yaten, what the hell is your problem?" Seiya snapped the moment they were out of the studio. His hands came up to grip the lapels of Yaten's powder blue suit and he shoved his band mate back against the nearest wall. "Do you have any idea how many fans you've just alienated?"
"Which is precisely the opposite of what we are trying to accomplish, in case you had forgotten," Taiki added, bringing up a hand to tiredly pinch the bridge of his nose.
"I haven't forgotten," Yaten hissed, his hands closing over Seiya's and shoving them away. His eyes blazed with indignation. "But I'm sick and tired of this...of ingratiating ourselves to the simpering little fangirls, trying to get them to *buy* us. We've become a product!"
"That's not what's bothering you and we all know it," Seiya said between gritted teach, cobalt eyes glaring daggers at the smaller boy. "You've had a bug up your butt for weeks now, Yaten, and Taiki and I are both sick of it."
The hard look in Taiki's lavender eyes conveyed the same message.
"What makes you think I..."
"Oh, shut up and come with me," Seiya said, his mouth forming a hard line as he grabbed Yaten's arm and forcefully dragged the older boy down the hallway. Yaten protested the entire way as they walked out of the building and towards their van, trying every tactic from swearing and insulting Seiya to pouting that he was hurting him to try to get Seiya to let go, but Seiya remained firm.
"Get in," Seiya said, giving Yaten a firm shove towards the van, and Yaten sniffed superciliously, pointedly adjusting his crumpled lapels, before he obeyed the command.
Throughout the ride home, Yaten sat stonily silent in the back of the van, while Seiya stared out the window, audibly grinding his teeth, and Taiki remained, as usual, the calmest of the three, treating his position as the driver as cautiously as he always did. Of course, his irritation was still obvious to both of the other occupants of the van, who couldn't help but notice that, as carefully as Taiki drove, he was going a little faster than he normally would, a few kilometres above the speed limit.
It was usual procedure after they'd reached the apartment for Taiki to precede his band mates into the genkan and casually toss the car keys onto the hall table, where they could be easily found if anyone wanted to take a drive for whatever reason. Today, Taiki pocketed the keys, letting out a quiet, resigned sort of sigh as he did so.
Yaten tried to stomp up to his room, but he was only part of the way up the stairs when Seiya caught up with him, the toes of his slippers hitting Yaten's ankles in a way he knew annoyed the smaller boy.
"All right, out with it," Seiya said, even as he propelled Yaten the rest of the way up the stairs. "This has gone on long enough."
"Out with what?" Yaten snapped, trying to dodge out of Seiya's grip on his elbows, only to find it tightening.
"Whatever's bothering you so much," Seiya said, rolling his eyes. "I mean it, Yaten...you're starting to really piss me off. Whatever it is, get it off your chest before you drive Taiki and me right up the wall, okay?"
Halfway down the upstairs hallway, Yaten made a sudden motion, throwing off Seiya's hands, and turned around, nearly stomping on his bandmate's foot in the process.
"What makes you think that what's bothering me is something I want to share with you?" Yaten growled.
"Nothing makes me think it," Seiya said firmly, his eyes hard with determination and fixed on Yaten's. His hand reached out, once again seeking purchase in Yaten's clothes; this time it was his dress shirt, fingers tightening a little too close to Yaten's neck for his comfort. "I'm not giving you a choice."
It wasn't often that Yaten had heard Seiya's rough, masculine voice utter something that sounded so much like a command from his leader. In another time, in another place, he would have snapped to attention, but in this time and place he merely glared up at the taller boy before he turned and stomped into the bathroom, ignoring the ripping sound as his shirt gave way in Seiya's fingers. The hallway rang with the sound of the door slamming shut behind himself.
"Oh, really mature, Yaten," came Seiya's sarcastic voice from the other side of the door, but Yaten ignored it as he stepped towards the sink, trying to calm his breathing. He lifted his head hesitantly, already aware of what he'd find, and met his own eyes in the mirror. They were rimmed with red, what had begun as anger having turned quickly into frustration and self-loathing. He closed his eyes against the sting of tears and gripped the sink in his hands, swearing softly to himself.
For a few minutes there was no sound except the quiet rush of tap water as Yaten splashed his face, cooling himself down and trying to hide the evidence of his distress. He met his eyes in the mirror again, this time giving himself his absolute most sour look, and then caught his breath when he heard a sound against the door.
"Yaten...look..." It was Seiya. The feelings that leeched through the door were those of genuine apology, which gave Yaten pause. He heard the soft sound of Seiya's back hitting the wood as Seiya leaned back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have got so angry with you, but..."
Yaten held his breath as Seiya let out one of his own and continued.
"You have to understand how frustrating it is for Taiki and me to see you struggling with something and not be able to help," Seiya finished, his voice quieting on the last few words, as though he was admitting something he didn't want to. "You know...the three of us...we're like a chain, and if one of the links falters, all of us do. D'you know what I mean?"
His voice rose somewhat hopefully on the question, and Yaten let out a long, slow breath as he glanced at himself in the mirror again. His eyes still looked tired and hurt, but suddenly he felt just as exhausted inside, unwilling to summon the energy to feel angry or frustrated anymore. He lowered his head and sighed. There was nothing for it; while Seiya stood out there, leaning against the door and waiting, his confusion and concern so obviously earnest---Yaten could feel the low pulse of Seiya's worry shivering through his own tired body---Yaten could hardly pretend, even to himself.
Still, he decided to make a last valiant effort, even as he moved to the door and, holding his breath, pressed his ear against it.
"It's...not something you can help me with," he said softly, and he closed his eyes when he heard the quiet note of pleading that bled through in his tone; he hadn't intended that. So little went the way he intended, these days.
It was a moment before Seiya replied, his voice quiet and sincere, and Yaten could tell that Seiya had turned and was leaning against the door too. He could almost feel the heat of Seiya's hands where they pressed up against the wood, separated from Yaten's only by the slim thickness of the door.
"I don't believe that." Seiya's voice, as soft as it was, displayed all the confidence that Yaten was lacking. "You're our friend, our comrade, our teammate...Taiki and I can help you, Yaten."
Yaten closed his eyes and let himself breathe for a moment, biting back the helpless, desperate little laugh that rose up his throat.
Another moment and he was ready to face whatever would come. He opened the door, giving Seiya just enough time to step away before he moved out into the hall.
"It's not something you can help me with," Yaten said, lifting his eyes to meet Seiya's. Seiya met his eyes willingly enough, a puzzled frown settling over his features as he peered into Yaten's face, obviously trying to figure it out.
Several long moments passed while Yaten slowly measured the uneven beat of his own heart, and the hoarse sound of his breath, before Seiya finally blinked, slowly, and took a step back.
"Oh..." Seiya said breathlessly, and without needing to ask, Yaten knew Seiya had comprehended. The feelings that moved from Seiya to Yaten now were those of shock and confusion, a sort of underlying flattered reaction, and above all, a hard pulse of regret.
Yaten lowered his head and shuffled towards his bedroom door, and he was happy that Seiya didn't stop him. Once he was in his room he slumped down onto his bed, his hands shaking as he lifted them to his face, trying to keep himself from crying again.
Ten minutes passed like that, in the silence of his misery. Then the door creaked open and Yaten's head shot up, surprise in his eyes as he watched Seiya step through, loosening his tie as he walked into the room. The movement was nervous, his fingers fumbling with the fabric, and Seiya's eyes darted everywhere but towards Yaten at first.
"Well...how long have you felt like this?" Seiya asked, his voice rough. He stood in the middle of the room, uncomfortably letting his hands come to settle at his hips.
"I don't know," Yaten replied; the obvious answer. He hadn't thought about it or wanted it---it had just *happened*.
"Oh," Seiya said again, and Yaten watched as Seiya rubbed his own face, hiding behind his hands for a moment before he lowered them and his eyes finally met Yaten's. Seiya must have realized the fine emotional line they were treading on, because his eyes instantly softened somewhat.
He stood there in silence for a long time, holding Yaten's gaze as steadily as he could, and Yaten was comforted by the fact that he wasn't the only one who was quivering.
Then, quietly, Seiya took in a quick breath and stepped forward, holding out a hand, palm up.
"Come here," he said gently. Yaten stared at the hand for a moment, his heart beating hard in his ears, before he shakily got to his feet. He made a feeble attempt to keep his distance, but Seiya's hand was in his and he'd been pulled in front of the taller boy before he had time to plan an escape.
"I ripped your shirt, didn't I?" Seiya murmured as he moved a little closer, one hand coming up to lightly finger the torn fabric at Yaten's collar.
"Yes, you did, you stupid bastard," Yaten said somewhat sullenly, the insult flowing easily off his tongue but lacking bite.
"I'm sorry," Seiya whispered, and then, before Yaten could move or protest, Seiya's lips were against the corner of his mouth, soft and warm, and Seiya's hands were lightly touching his hips, pulling him so close that only a matter of centimetres remained between them.
Yaten felt like he couldn't breathe; he was close enough to Seiya that he was beginning to wonder which feelings were his and which were Seiya's. Which one of them was feeling so nervous? Which of them was so curious? Which of them was kindling that faint yet frighteningly obvious sense of desire?
"Seiya..." Yaten whispered as Seiya drew back. His eyes were fixed on Seiya's loose tie, trying to focus on something, anything, that didn't involve looking Seiya in the eye. Seiya, meanwhile, brought his hands up to the tear in Yaten's shirt again, and this time Yaten gasped with surprise and some of that deeper sensation he was just starting to recognize when Seiya gently parted the folds of fabric and bent down to press his lips to the pale skin that was revealed.
"Seiya..." Yaten said again, the lightest note of pleading in his voice. Seiya was silent, and Yaten shuddered as he felt the sensation of Seiya's teeth scraping along his collarbone, stopping near his shoulder, jacket and shirt pushed aside, to close down in a gentle bite.
Yaten's hands came up, fingers threading their way through Seiya's dark curls and pulling tight. Seiya gasped at the pain that shot through his scalp and followed Yaten's tug, until he was facing Yaten again, their eyes locked.
Yaten took several deep breaths as he stared at Seiya, silent for so long that Seiya began to feel restless and fidgety. His hands were itching to continue what they'd started, and that was enough proof for him, but for Yaten it was only the beginning.
"...Why?" Yaten murmured finally, his eyes sullen and cold again. "I...don't want your pity, Seiya."
Seiya had to catch his breath, startled and disappointed by Yaten's words more than he was willing to show.
"That's good, because you won't get it," he said as firmly as he could, and he watched the surprise that moved slowly over Yaten's expression.
"Then why?" Yaten whispered, and he jumped slightly when Seiya reached down to take one of his hands. Yaten watched in silence as Seiya lifted Yaten's slender, feminine hand to his lips and pressed a series of kisses over Yaten's palm, finally stopping at Yaten's wrist, his teeth nibbling gently at the place where he could feel Yaten's firm pulse against his lips. Yaten shuddered, his eyes fluttering closed before they opened again, staring at Seiya, awaiting explanation.
"Because..." Seiya began, his voice muffled as he lifted his head and brushed his lips over Yaten's temple, listening to the sound of Yaten's quick exhalation against his cheek. "Because I've never really thought about it before, seriously. Because I've dreamed about it sometimes. Because you want it. Because I need to know. Because..."
"Because you'll never have her?" Yaten's voice was bitter, his eyes closed and jaw clenched even as Seiya stroked a gentle finger down Yaten's cheek.
"Because I'll never have her and I know it," Seiya agreed, his voice a hesitant whisper. He cupped Yaten's cheek in his palm and waited until Yaten opened his eyes before he asked the obvious question. "Is that not enough? I can't give you another answer, Yaten..."
Yaten took a breath, about to answer, but Seiya placed a finger against Yaten's lips, stilling them.
"I prefer possibilities to impossibilities," he murmured, trying to convey with his eyes, bright blue with curiosity, what he felt he couldn't quite put into words. It must have been working, because the chill in Yaten's eyes was thawing, his expression softening. "And that doesn't mean that you'd be second best...it means that..."
He paused, unsure how to put what he wanted to say into words, his eyes still pleading with Yaten to understand and overcome this awkwardness. He was about to try again when Yaten leaned up on his toes, his hands on Seiya's shoulders, and closed his lips over Seiya's. It was a questioning kiss, a kiss that sought the answers that Seiya couldn't give him, and he knew by the softening of Yaten's mouth against his that he had provided the correct response. He kissed Yaten back with all of the emotion he could convey in a kiss, his arms gently folding around the smaller teen and pulling him closer until they were flush against one another.
The kiss broke to the sound of their harsh breathing, and as Seiya bent to trail a series of kisses along Yaten's neck, Yaten's hands opened and closed reflexively against the fabric of Seiya's jacket.
Yaten sucked in a surprised breath when he felt Seiya take hold of the torn edges of his shirt and give a firm tug. Yaten stared up at Seiya, who merely grinned as the shirt gave way, tearing all the way down Yaten's chest until the place where it was tucked into his pants. Yaten didn't have time to ask; had no time to do other than feel, as Seiya bent his head and started to kiss his way down Yaten's bare chest, his hands now working on undoing Yaten's tie. In seconds the tie was tossed aside, and Yaten was gasping and leaning up into Seiya's touch as Seiya's lips closed over a nipple. The sensation of Seiya's mouth, hot and wet, combined with the now-steady throb of Seiya's determination and arousal through his mind and body, shook Yaten to the core, leaving him moaning softly in its wake.
"S...Seiya..." Yaten whispered roughly, his hands still closed around the fabric of Seiya's jacket as Seiya got to his knees and moved his mouth down Yaten's stomach, pausing to dip his tongue in Yaten's belly button before he continued downwards. Through the fog that was steadily enclosing his mind, an intoxicating mixture of his own pleasure and Seiya's excitement, Yaten dimly heard Seiya's voice, muffled against Yaten's skin.
"You're beautiful," Seiya was saying, his voice rich with a particular emotion that Yaten had rarely heard there, at least in regards to himself---reverence. "By the stars, you're beautiful..."
Yaten fought to draw in enough breath to speak.
"Do you...mean that I'm beautiful, or that this body is?" he whispered, voice growing a little harsh towards the end of his question.
"You're beautiful," Seiya said firmly, and Yaten groaned softly when Seiya nuzzled boldly against the growing tent in the front of Yaten's pants.
This wasn't what Yaten had imagined, even in his wildest dreams. He tried to catch up with the way his thoughts were rapidly spinning away as Seiya undid the fly on his pants with deft hands, hands that had become steady with purpose, the initial quivering insecurity long gone. He had always thought that if he ever did find himself in this situation with Seiya, that he would insist that they throw the masks aside and face each other as they really were. He hadn't expected to find it exhilarating, this sensation of Seiya's firm shoulders against his hands, and the touch of Seiya's hand against his erection. That was what felt most strange, even to one with no sexual experience whatsoever; the touch to that part of his body, the most obvious evidence of the identity he had assumed.
Seiya stood, his hands again running over the heated skin of Yaten's chest. Yaten sighed, a contented sound, as Seiya's hand skimmed his stomach and pushed into Yaten's pants, past his boxers to the flesh beneath. Yaten felt himself thrust his hips forward towards Seiya when Seiya's hand closed warmly around him, fingers so gentle Yaten couldn't help the shudder that tugged its way up his spine. His eyes fluttered open, seeking Seiya's.
Seiya froze, his hand going still against Yaten's erection, the instant he noticed the way Yaten's eyes swiftly cleared of the haze that had taken over them, his arousal quickly replaced with a look of utter horror.
"Yaten, wha...?" Seiya cut himself off as he glanced over his shoulder and drew in a swift breath, feeling shock hit him like a kick to the stomach.
Taiki was standing in the doorway, seemingly stuck in one place, his hand clutched on the doorknob so hard his knuckles were white. Seiya half expected Taiki to open his mouth and burst out something embarrassing like, "What are you doing!?"...but Taiki wasn't that stupid.
He was, however, that startled, which quickly became apparent as Taiki's cheeks flushed so red they were almost purple, almost the color of his eyes, wide and shocked. Before either of the other two Lights, frozen in the room in a panorama that simply screamed "caught in the act", could speak or move, Taiki closed his mouth, letting out a single soft, strange sound as he turned on his heel and left, his quick footsteps sounding all the way down the hall to his room.
Seiya gingerly retrieved his hand, somewhat sticky, from Yaten's boxers and chanced a glance at Yaten's face, only to find Yaten looking just as bewildered and uncertain as him.
It took no more than a second for them to come to a silent agreement, and before either of them had time to think any further on their actions, they both rushed towards the door.
*****
The world created by this age
Is getting colder and colder
So cold that any kindness gets in the way
Because my feelings for this age
Are growing bigger and stronger
I want the universe to answer me now
I would even give up my life
To protect the future I promised to you
*****
END PART ONE
Date Finished: November 12th, 2004
Classification: Romance, Angst, Humor, Alternate Universe
Pairing: Seiya/Yaten/Taiki
Rating: NC-17
Note: Written for yaoi_challenge 2004 (http://www.livejournal.com/communities/yaoi_challenge/).
Selves
By Elsewhere
elsewherecw@shaw.ca
Disclaimer: The Three Lights and their world aren't mine.
Lyrics are from 'Selves' by Luna Sea, translated by ami (http://www.geocities.co.jp/MusicStar-Piano/1957/lyrics/).
Yaten's outburst in the studio is from the prologue on his CD single, as translated by kurozuki. (http://www.kurozuki.com)
Distribution: If you want this story for any page other than the ones I've sent it to, please ask me first, so I know where it goes.
Spoilers: Minimal.
The prompt for this was: <I>After a very heated exchange, Character A pulls Character B aside and partially undresses him (rips open his shirt or exposes some private part of his body ) and comments aloud about his discovery, detailing his appreciation of this or that on the other's body. This is all done where he may be inadvertently seen or overheard.</I>
Summary: Yaten is behaving even worse than usual, and Seiya's attempt to find the source of Yaten's frustration leads to an encounter none of the Three Lights could have expected...
Part One: The Universe to Answer
*****
The world created by this age
Is getting colder and colder
So cold that I can't even feel the pain
The world that I met you in
Is falling into ruins
Why doesn't the sky answer me?
*****
So far, the interview wasn't going well. Taiki was obviously bored and uncomfortable. He was fanning some poor fan's unread letter against his face, trying to find some relief in the stifling heat of the studio. Across from him, Seiya was slouched back in his chair, nearly asleep, and sitting between the two of them, cold green eyes narrowed in obvious annoyance, was Yaten. The oldest member of the group had so far managed not to say anything terribly scathing or damaging, but if either of his bandmates had been paying attention they would have noticed that Yaten's patience was wearing thin.
All of this, and they were only five minutes into the actual interview. The radio announcer looked increasingly peeved at the noncommittal answers he was receiving to his comments, but he didn't vocalize his displeasure. He kept glancing at Yaten sideways. It wouldn't take a genius to guess what made him hesitant to speak his mind.
Eventually, however, he had to come to it, and the announcer swallowed and loosened his collar a bit before he carefully addressed the smallest of the three singers.
"Well, ladies and gentlemen, now you've met two of the Three Lights, and what else can we do but allow you to meet the third."
Yaten's lip curled slightly.
"Would you tell the audience your name, please?" The announcer looked as though he would rather have continued his stiff conversation with Taiki, or even his almost entirely one-sided one with Seiya.
"My name? Yaten Kou," Yaten said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. His eyes were like two little witch fires, burning green flame. "Age 16, blood type B, first year, class one, Juuban High School, born February 8th, sign of Aquarius."
The announcer blinked at this flood of information, and opened his mouth to reply, but Yaten wasn't finished yet.
"Say, Mr. Showbiz reporter," Yaten said, feigning a conversational tone as he folded his hands on the table and stared even more boldly into the announcer's eyes. "What do you plan to do, asking us all these questions?"
The announcer drew in a breath, but again he was cut off by the tired, spiteful tone of his guest.
" 'Show us everything about the reality of the Three Lights!'" Yaten scoffed, his lip noticeably curled by then. The announcer thanked his lucky stars that this wasn't a television interview.
"What reality?" Yaten almost spat. "You don't know anything about the real us! Just stop already!"
He finished by flipping his long silver ponytail over his shoulder, an irritated gesture, before he crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, obviously having given all that he was willing to give.
Luckily for the announcer, who didn't know how to reply, by then the other two members of the popular boy band had become aware of what was actually going on around them. There were no more than a few seconds of tense silence before, as the announcer watched, a sort of chaos erupted in the small space of his studio. Seiya was the first to move, looking very much awake as he leaned forward towards the microphone. Even as Taiki stood up and grabbed Yaten, hauling him out of his chair and shoving him towards the door of the studio, Seiya spoke into the mic, his tone only barely conveying a sense of his very forced smile.
"Sorry about that, everyone...Yaten didn't get his nap today, so he's a little cranky. We'll be sure to get him home and to bed right away. Thanks for your time!"
With that, Seiya got to his feet and met Taiki at the doorway, where he and Yaten were currently engaged in a sort of staring contest, Yaten's eyes narrowed with anger and Taiki's utterly chill.
"B-but wait, the rest of the show...!" the announcer started helplessly, but the Lights ignored him, moving out into the hallway. Seiya closed the door behind himself as silently as he could.
"Damn it, Yaten, what the hell is your problem?" Seiya snapped the moment they were out of the studio. His hands came up to grip the lapels of Yaten's powder blue suit and he shoved his band mate back against the nearest wall. "Do you have any idea how many fans you've just alienated?"
"Which is precisely the opposite of what we are trying to accomplish, in case you had forgotten," Taiki added, bringing up a hand to tiredly pinch the bridge of his nose.
"I haven't forgotten," Yaten hissed, his hands closing over Seiya's and shoving them away. His eyes blazed with indignation. "But I'm sick and tired of this...of ingratiating ourselves to the simpering little fangirls, trying to get them to *buy* us. We've become a product!"
"That's not what's bothering you and we all know it," Seiya said between gritted teach, cobalt eyes glaring daggers at the smaller boy. "You've had a bug up your butt for weeks now, Yaten, and Taiki and I are both sick of it."
The hard look in Taiki's lavender eyes conveyed the same message.
"What makes you think I..."
"Oh, shut up and come with me," Seiya said, his mouth forming a hard line as he grabbed Yaten's arm and forcefully dragged the older boy down the hallway. Yaten protested the entire way as they walked out of the building and towards their van, trying every tactic from swearing and insulting Seiya to pouting that he was hurting him to try to get Seiya to let go, but Seiya remained firm.
"Get in," Seiya said, giving Yaten a firm shove towards the van, and Yaten sniffed superciliously, pointedly adjusting his crumpled lapels, before he obeyed the command.
Throughout the ride home, Yaten sat stonily silent in the back of the van, while Seiya stared out the window, audibly grinding his teeth, and Taiki remained, as usual, the calmest of the three, treating his position as the driver as cautiously as he always did. Of course, his irritation was still obvious to both of the other occupants of the van, who couldn't help but notice that, as carefully as Taiki drove, he was going a little faster than he normally would, a few kilometres above the speed limit.
It was usual procedure after they'd reached the apartment for Taiki to precede his band mates into the genkan and casually toss the car keys onto the hall table, where they could be easily found if anyone wanted to take a drive for whatever reason. Today, Taiki pocketed the keys, letting out a quiet, resigned sort of sigh as he did so.
Yaten tried to stomp up to his room, but he was only part of the way up the stairs when Seiya caught up with him, the toes of his slippers hitting Yaten's ankles in a way he knew annoyed the smaller boy.
"All right, out with it," Seiya said, even as he propelled Yaten the rest of the way up the stairs. "This has gone on long enough."
"Out with what?" Yaten snapped, trying to dodge out of Seiya's grip on his elbows, only to find it tightening.
"Whatever's bothering you so much," Seiya said, rolling his eyes. "I mean it, Yaten...you're starting to really piss me off. Whatever it is, get it off your chest before you drive Taiki and me right up the wall, okay?"
Halfway down the upstairs hallway, Yaten made a sudden motion, throwing off Seiya's hands, and turned around, nearly stomping on his bandmate's foot in the process.
"What makes you think that what's bothering me is something I want to share with you?" Yaten growled.
"Nothing makes me think it," Seiya said firmly, his eyes hard with determination and fixed on Yaten's. His hand reached out, once again seeking purchase in Yaten's clothes; this time it was his dress shirt, fingers tightening a little too close to Yaten's neck for his comfort. "I'm not giving you a choice."
It wasn't often that Yaten had heard Seiya's rough, masculine voice utter something that sounded so much like a command from his leader. In another time, in another place, he would have snapped to attention, but in this time and place he merely glared up at the taller boy before he turned and stomped into the bathroom, ignoring the ripping sound as his shirt gave way in Seiya's fingers. The hallway rang with the sound of the door slamming shut behind himself.
"Oh, really mature, Yaten," came Seiya's sarcastic voice from the other side of the door, but Yaten ignored it as he stepped towards the sink, trying to calm his breathing. He lifted his head hesitantly, already aware of what he'd find, and met his own eyes in the mirror. They were rimmed with red, what had begun as anger having turned quickly into frustration and self-loathing. He closed his eyes against the sting of tears and gripped the sink in his hands, swearing softly to himself.
For a few minutes there was no sound except the quiet rush of tap water as Yaten splashed his face, cooling himself down and trying to hide the evidence of his distress. He met his eyes in the mirror again, this time giving himself his absolute most sour look, and then caught his breath when he heard a sound against the door.
"Yaten...look..." It was Seiya. The feelings that leeched through the door were those of genuine apology, which gave Yaten pause. He heard the soft sound of Seiya's back hitting the wood as Seiya leaned back. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have got so angry with you, but..."
Yaten held his breath as Seiya let out one of his own and continued.
"You have to understand how frustrating it is for Taiki and me to see you struggling with something and not be able to help," Seiya finished, his voice quieting on the last few words, as though he was admitting something he didn't want to. "You know...the three of us...we're like a chain, and if one of the links falters, all of us do. D'you know what I mean?"
His voice rose somewhat hopefully on the question, and Yaten let out a long, slow breath as he glanced at himself in the mirror again. His eyes still looked tired and hurt, but suddenly he felt just as exhausted inside, unwilling to summon the energy to feel angry or frustrated anymore. He lowered his head and sighed. There was nothing for it; while Seiya stood out there, leaning against the door and waiting, his confusion and concern so obviously earnest---Yaten could feel the low pulse of Seiya's worry shivering through his own tired body---Yaten could hardly pretend, even to himself.
Still, he decided to make a last valiant effort, even as he moved to the door and, holding his breath, pressed his ear against it.
"It's...not something you can help me with," he said softly, and he closed his eyes when he heard the quiet note of pleading that bled through in his tone; he hadn't intended that. So little went the way he intended, these days.
It was a moment before Seiya replied, his voice quiet and sincere, and Yaten could tell that Seiya had turned and was leaning against the door too. He could almost feel the heat of Seiya's hands where they pressed up against the wood, separated from Yaten's only by the slim thickness of the door.
"I don't believe that." Seiya's voice, as soft as it was, displayed all the confidence that Yaten was lacking. "You're our friend, our comrade, our teammate...Taiki and I can help you, Yaten."
Yaten closed his eyes and let himself breathe for a moment, biting back the helpless, desperate little laugh that rose up his throat.
Another moment and he was ready to face whatever would come. He opened the door, giving Seiya just enough time to step away before he moved out into the hall.
"It's not something you can help me with," Yaten said, lifting his eyes to meet Seiya's. Seiya met his eyes willingly enough, a puzzled frown settling over his features as he peered into Yaten's face, obviously trying to figure it out.
Several long moments passed while Yaten slowly measured the uneven beat of his own heart, and the hoarse sound of his breath, before Seiya finally blinked, slowly, and took a step back.
"Oh..." Seiya said breathlessly, and without needing to ask, Yaten knew Seiya had comprehended. The feelings that moved from Seiya to Yaten now were those of shock and confusion, a sort of underlying flattered reaction, and above all, a hard pulse of regret.
Yaten lowered his head and shuffled towards his bedroom door, and he was happy that Seiya didn't stop him. Once he was in his room he slumped down onto his bed, his hands shaking as he lifted them to his face, trying to keep himself from crying again.
Ten minutes passed like that, in the silence of his misery. Then the door creaked open and Yaten's head shot up, surprise in his eyes as he watched Seiya step through, loosening his tie as he walked into the room. The movement was nervous, his fingers fumbling with the fabric, and Seiya's eyes darted everywhere but towards Yaten at first.
"Well...how long have you felt like this?" Seiya asked, his voice rough. He stood in the middle of the room, uncomfortably letting his hands come to settle at his hips.
"I don't know," Yaten replied; the obvious answer. He hadn't thought about it or wanted it---it had just *happened*.
"Oh," Seiya said again, and Yaten watched as Seiya rubbed his own face, hiding behind his hands for a moment before he lowered them and his eyes finally met Yaten's. Seiya must have realized the fine emotional line they were treading on, because his eyes instantly softened somewhat.
He stood there in silence for a long time, holding Yaten's gaze as steadily as he could, and Yaten was comforted by the fact that he wasn't the only one who was quivering.
Then, quietly, Seiya took in a quick breath and stepped forward, holding out a hand, palm up.
"Come here," he said gently. Yaten stared at the hand for a moment, his heart beating hard in his ears, before he shakily got to his feet. He made a feeble attempt to keep his distance, but Seiya's hand was in his and he'd been pulled in front of the taller boy before he had time to plan an escape.
"I ripped your shirt, didn't I?" Seiya murmured as he moved a little closer, one hand coming up to lightly finger the torn fabric at Yaten's collar.
"Yes, you did, you stupid bastard," Yaten said somewhat sullenly, the insult flowing easily off his tongue but lacking bite.
"I'm sorry," Seiya whispered, and then, before Yaten could move or protest, Seiya's lips were against the corner of his mouth, soft and warm, and Seiya's hands were lightly touching his hips, pulling him so close that only a matter of centimetres remained between them.
Yaten felt like he couldn't breathe; he was close enough to Seiya that he was beginning to wonder which feelings were his and which were Seiya's. Which one of them was feeling so nervous? Which of them was so curious? Which of them was kindling that faint yet frighteningly obvious sense of desire?
"Seiya..." Yaten whispered as Seiya drew back. His eyes were fixed on Seiya's loose tie, trying to focus on something, anything, that didn't involve looking Seiya in the eye. Seiya, meanwhile, brought his hands up to the tear in Yaten's shirt again, and this time Yaten gasped with surprise and some of that deeper sensation he was just starting to recognize when Seiya gently parted the folds of fabric and bent down to press his lips to the pale skin that was revealed.
"Seiya..." Yaten said again, the lightest note of pleading in his voice. Seiya was silent, and Yaten shuddered as he felt the sensation of Seiya's teeth scraping along his collarbone, stopping near his shoulder, jacket and shirt pushed aside, to close down in a gentle bite.
Yaten's hands came up, fingers threading their way through Seiya's dark curls and pulling tight. Seiya gasped at the pain that shot through his scalp and followed Yaten's tug, until he was facing Yaten again, their eyes locked.
Yaten took several deep breaths as he stared at Seiya, silent for so long that Seiya began to feel restless and fidgety. His hands were itching to continue what they'd started, and that was enough proof for him, but for Yaten it was only the beginning.
"...Why?" Yaten murmured finally, his eyes sullen and cold again. "I...don't want your pity, Seiya."
Seiya had to catch his breath, startled and disappointed by Yaten's words more than he was willing to show.
"That's good, because you won't get it," he said as firmly as he could, and he watched the surprise that moved slowly over Yaten's expression.
"Then why?" Yaten whispered, and he jumped slightly when Seiya reached down to take one of his hands. Yaten watched in silence as Seiya lifted Yaten's slender, feminine hand to his lips and pressed a series of kisses over Yaten's palm, finally stopping at Yaten's wrist, his teeth nibbling gently at the place where he could feel Yaten's firm pulse against his lips. Yaten shuddered, his eyes fluttering closed before they opened again, staring at Seiya, awaiting explanation.
"Because..." Seiya began, his voice muffled as he lifted his head and brushed his lips over Yaten's temple, listening to the sound of Yaten's quick exhalation against his cheek. "Because I've never really thought about it before, seriously. Because I've dreamed about it sometimes. Because you want it. Because I need to know. Because..."
"Because you'll never have her?" Yaten's voice was bitter, his eyes closed and jaw clenched even as Seiya stroked a gentle finger down Yaten's cheek.
"Because I'll never have her and I know it," Seiya agreed, his voice a hesitant whisper. He cupped Yaten's cheek in his palm and waited until Yaten opened his eyes before he asked the obvious question. "Is that not enough? I can't give you another answer, Yaten..."
Yaten took a breath, about to answer, but Seiya placed a finger against Yaten's lips, stilling them.
"I prefer possibilities to impossibilities," he murmured, trying to convey with his eyes, bright blue with curiosity, what he felt he couldn't quite put into words. It must have been working, because the chill in Yaten's eyes was thawing, his expression softening. "And that doesn't mean that you'd be second best...it means that..."
He paused, unsure how to put what he wanted to say into words, his eyes still pleading with Yaten to understand and overcome this awkwardness. He was about to try again when Yaten leaned up on his toes, his hands on Seiya's shoulders, and closed his lips over Seiya's. It was a questioning kiss, a kiss that sought the answers that Seiya couldn't give him, and he knew by the softening of Yaten's mouth against his that he had provided the correct response. He kissed Yaten back with all of the emotion he could convey in a kiss, his arms gently folding around the smaller teen and pulling him closer until they were flush against one another.
The kiss broke to the sound of their harsh breathing, and as Seiya bent to trail a series of kisses along Yaten's neck, Yaten's hands opened and closed reflexively against the fabric of Seiya's jacket.
Yaten sucked in a surprised breath when he felt Seiya take hold of the torn edges of his shirt and give a firm tug. Yaten stared up at Seiya, who merely grinned as the shirt gave way, tearing all the way down Yaten's chest until the place where it was tucked into his pants. Yaten didn't have time to ask; had no time to do other than feel, as Seiya bent his head and started to kiss his way down Yaten's bare chest, his hands now working on undoing Yaten's tie. In seconds the tie was tossed aside, and Yaten was gasping and leaning up into Seiya's touch as Seiya's lips closed over a nipple. The sensation of Seiya's mouth, hot and wet, combined with the now-steady throb of Seiya's determination and arousal through his mind and body, shook Yaten to the core, leaving him moaning softly in its wake.
"S...Seiya..." Yaten whispered roughly, his hands still closed around the fabric of Seiya's jacket as Seiya got to his knees and moved his mouth down Yaten's stomach, pausing to dip his tongue in Yaten's belly button before he continued downwards. Through the fog that was steadily enclosing his mind, an intoxicating mixture of his own pleasure and Seiya's excitement, Yaten dimly heard Seiya's voice, muffled against Yaten's skin.
"You're beautiful," Seiya was saying, his voice rich with a particular emotion that Yaten had rarely heard there, at least in regards to himself---reverence. "By the stars, you're beautiful..."
Yaten fought to draw in enough breath to speak.
"Do you...mean that I'm beautiful, or that this body is?" he whispered, voice growing a little harsh towards the end of his question.
"You're beautiful," Seiya said firmly, and Yaten groaned softly when Seiya nuzzled boldly against the growing tent in the front of Yaten's pants.
This wasn't what Yaten had imagined, even in his wildest dreams. He tried to catch up with the way his thoughts were rapidly spinning away as Seiya undid the fly on his pants with deft hands, hands that had become steady with purpose, the initial quivering insecurity long gone. He had always thought that if he ever did find himself in this situation with Seiya, that he would insist that they throw the masks aside and face each other as they really were. He hadn't expected to find it exhilarating, this sensation of Seiya's firm shoulders against his hands, and the touch of Seiya's hand against his erection. That was what felt most strange, even to one with no sexual experience whatsoever; the touch to that part of his body, the most obvious evidence of the identity he had assumed.
Seiya stood, his hands again running over the heated skin of Yaten's chest. Yaten sighed, a contented sound, as Seiya's hand skimmed his stomach and pushed into Yaten's pants, past his boxers to the flesh beneath. Yaten felt himself thrust his hips forward towards Seiya when Seiya's hand closed warmly around him, fingers so gentle Yaten couldn't help the shudder that tugged its way up his spine. His eyes fluttered open, seeking Seiya's.
Seiya froze, his hand going still against Yaten's erection, the instant he noticed the way Yaten's eyes swiftly cleared of the haze that had taken over them, his arousal quickly replaced with a look of utter horror.
"Yaten, wha...?" Seiya cut himself off as he glanced over his shoulder and drew in a swift breath, feeling shock hit him like a kick to the stomach.
Taiki was standing in the doorway, seemingly stuck in one place, his hand clutched on the doorknob so hard his knuckles were white. Seiya half expected Taiki to open his mouth and burst out something embarrassing like, "What are you doing!?"...but Taiki wasn't that stupid.
He was, however, that startled, which quickly became apparent as Taiki's cheeks flushed so red they were almost purple, almost the color of his eyes, wide and shocked. Before either of the other two Lights, frozen in the room in a panorama that simply screamed "caught in the act", could speak or move, Taiki closed his mouth, letting out a single soft, strange sound as he turned on his heel and left, his quick footsteps sounding all the way down the hall to his room.
Seiya gingerly retrieved his hand, somewhat sticky, from Yaten's boxers and chanced a glance at Yaten's face, only to find Yaten looking just as bewildered and uncertain as him.
It took no more than a second for them to come to a silent agreement, and before either of them had time to think any further on their actions, they both rushed towards the door.
*****
The world created by this age
Is getting colder and colder
So cold that any kindness gets in the way
Because my feelings for this age
Are growing bigger and stronger
I want the universe to answer me now
I would even give up my life
To protect the future I promised to you
*****
END PART ONE