Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Silly senshis ❯ Setsuna's advice ( Chapter 3 )

Setsuna's advice

By Fade

A Sailor Moon fanfic

Makoto/Ami

"So, Makoto's in love with you?"

Her blue-haired impromptu guest just nodded, too embarassed to utter a word. Not long after the snow storm had ended, she had found herself wandering aimlessly in the frozen streets of Juuban. Something she had always enjoyed in winter. But, she wasn't sure how she had finally ended in front of the house where the Outers lived. It was not exactly close to her own home, to say the least!

That's how Setsuna had found her, standing in the doorway with a blank stare and barely responding to external stimuli. The older senshi had gently led her visitor to the living room. The Inners had once told her how badly Ami would zone out when she was under deep emotional stress, but she had never actually witnessed it. She had wanted to call the others for help, but the young genius had suddenly lunged at her, snatched her communicator and refused to give it back. That had, of course, worried the time senshi greatly, and when `she' was under deep emotional stress, `she' lunged at chocolate. So, she had silently produced two steaming mugs of cocoa and had settled on something she was pretty good at: waiting.

Luckily, she didn't have to wait until the next ice age before Ami finally blurted out the whole story. Now, Setsuna was having a hard time keeping a straight face. Had she been alone, she would be rolling on the floor with laughter. To be a time senshi required a lot of mind flexibility. And a solid sense of humour, considering how long she had lived. Really. There was nothing such as a straight line, when time was concerned. Everything could and could not happen. Even the most ridiculous things. Especially the most ridiculous things. Take Usagi's speeches, for exemple. However, when the train was well on its way, some things WERE bound to happen, provided that no gangsters would try to stop it with a big boulder on the rails, that is. Her job was to make sure that no one else than herself could do it. She used to think that if she wasn't so well disposed, although she hid it carefully, she'd have gone insane with boredome after the first three centuries. Or maybe she was. Anyway, she couldn't wait to see the reactions of her housemates to the news, particularly Haruka's. But she was the great and mysterious senshi of time, so she kept her cool and asked.

"And Usagi-chan plans to set me up with Seya-san?"

Again, the younger girl nodded.

"Interesting..." Was all she added, before she focused back on her mug. There were so many timelines, so many alternate universes. Sometimes almost similar, sometimes completely different. She had seen them all. And, in a way, lived them all. At least, she had lived those where mankind AND senshi'd arisen. A time senshi also ought to be good at multi-thinking (i.e. she was just used to follow several lines of thought at the same time, a women's advantage, it is said, according to the last comportemental studies), `sometimes' she wasn't too sure who she was anymore, and consequently, what she had to do. But chocolate was chocolate. A sure thing to cling to, if nothing else.

A dreamy look appeared on her face. There were so many... combinations that were possible... Some choices had to be done before she could see which timeline they would follow. But already, the number of possible futures was reducing dramatically. They were...

"But, Setsuna-san... Aren't you worried?" Ami shyly interrupted her pompous rambling.

Setsuna allowed herself to smirk and raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Why should I be? I'm a grown-up girl, you know? I can handle it..."

She wouldn't say that one of her worst fear was to end up in a timeline where she would stay alone. She had seen it, it was pretty miserable. She usually ended terminally addicted to some dangerous substance. She glanced at the partly ravaged chocolate box on the low table and sweatdropped. Besides, there were certainly far worse things than dating a gender-changer. She paused, her mind taking the time to taste the idea in all its glorious aspects. Now, come to think about it... Yeaahh...

It tasted like cherry liquor-mixed chocolate. Strong but sweet, subtly perfumed, tantalizing, sensual. And indeed, through her fog of mind-melting pleasure, she realized, horrified, that it was the exact flavour of the chocolate she had unknowlingly just eaten. Oh gods, she wasn't even controlling herself anymore. She didn't wish it to happen to anyone else. She had to save Ami. "But maybe I should ask: why are you so worried?"

The younger girl froze, and for a moment, Setsuna feared that she had reversed back to her former zombie-like state. Then, Ami's face went blazing red and the time senshi could have sworn she saw steam rise from her friend. The thought to use the young genius to heat a sauna complex crossed her mind briefly, before she filed it away for further examination.

Back to the real world at hand, Ami was mumbling something, her gaze glued to her feet.

"Sorry? What did you just say? I suppose that at my age it's not surprising to become a little deaf..." She said good-naturedly.

Ami's face became even brighter and more incoherent.It was almost raining in the room, now. The time senshi had to open her blouse collar. Gods it was so hot in here, all of a sudden!

Setsuna took pity of the young girl - and of herself - and decided to help her out a bit more actively. "Look, Ami-chan, if you don't love her, you will have to tell her, eventually, even if you don't want to hurt her. You cannot avoid her indefinitly. Of course, it will probably break her heart. However, she is a sensitive but strong woman. She will accept your decision, no matter what. But, and this is the most important, don't throw away your friendship with her and don't act as if nothing had happened either. That would probably kill her. Take her feelings for you in account and respect them. Remember that she's your best friend, first. Be honest with her..."

She was startled to see Ami suddenly raise her head, a fierce look on her face.

"But I do love her!" The assurance with which she said that surprised Ami herself. "I... I really love her... I guess I was too mixed up to admit it." Imagining her beloved Makoto, hurt by her, being denied the very thing she was herself craving for... That had been just too much for the blue-haired girl. She couldn't stand that.

Setsuna fought back a scowl. `So much for the good piece of advice!'

Instead, she wore her usual neutral mask and asked. "Then, what is all the fuss about? You already know she's in love with you..."

Then, with a tone a little bit more edgy than usual, because, really! She was beginning to feel rather frustrated. Why were the young people so complicated these days? Things were far more simple, back then. You just knocked down the one you'd selected, grab them by the hair, hauled them to your cave and ea... err had some fun with them. And that was it! "... You don't even have to worry about Usagi's and the other's reaction and I don't think your mother, as I know her, would object to your relationship with Mako-chan." And she unconsciously unwrapped another chocolate.

Ami's gaze dropped again as she clutched her sides. "I don't know... I... I'm terrified... I guess... Everything's happening so fast... I..."

It suddenly dawned on her what Ami's real problem was, what it was that she couldn't bring herself to ask."... And you've never been too comfortable with those kind of ur... feelings, have you?" Setsuna finished tactfully for her. She looked at the young genius. She had a moment of doubt. Surely, she knew how...? Yes, after all, she was a genius, even chibi-Usa had already figured it out. Ami just needed someone to help her loosen up, gently. It was like walking on eggs considering Ami's reactions to this kind of subjects. The excitement of a new challenge ran through her spine.

The blue-haired girl simply nodded.

"Well, as it seems, you just don't know what to do, do you?" She snatched another chocolate. "But if you don't do anything, your relationship with Mako-chan will not improve. Love can stricke you like a fifty tons hammer, but it is also as fleeting and fragile as a feather." She nodded to herself. That was a good one, she would use it again. "You came to the right person, I happen to have a lot of experience in that matter..."

"Oh really?"

The two women jumped in surprise upon hearing the third voice.

"And what with the line? You almost sounded like Mina-chan! Except we could understand you." Haruka was standing in the doorway, a sly grin curving her lips. Behind her, Michiru was gently laughing. Then, the sandy-haired woman threw her most seductive smile to poor, sweet, innocent Ami. "I think that if Ami-chan wants some tips, Michiru and I would be better suited to the job... don't you?"

Setsuna scoffed, iritated by the senshi of wind's bluntness. "You? You're a mere debutant to this game! I, on the contrary, have had millenias of practice. I could show YOU some tricks!"

The two women were now practically nose to nose, each one wounded that their expertise in the matter could be doubted. "Oh yeah? I'd like to see that, granny! I think you'd need to update, `cause I doubt you even had a date in the past decades!!!"

Setsuna was about to explode and scream her righteous indignation when she suddenly remembered who she was, and answered, with infuriating calmness. "The fact is that I do prefer quality to quantity, indeed."

Harucka's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Are you insinuating that I don't know how to please Michiru?"

By now, poor Ami was seriously hyperventilating while Michiru was too shocked by the situation to even believe that she had actually heard what had just been said by her two housemates.

Setsuna's evil smirk was Harucka's only answer.

But Harucka was a good pocker player, she wouldn't fall in such an obvious trap and make a fool of herself! Ah! Certainly not! She decided to produce her ace. She reached in her subspace pocket and brought a video tape out of it. "I can prove how good I am." She bent down to be at level with her housemate's face. "I could demonstrate it to you much more... directly, but Hotaru will be home soon. But I'm sure..." She handed the tape. `H/M testing Kama Sutra I' was written on the cover. "... that this will be enough."

At this, the smirk widened on Setsuna's face. "Maybe, but I still have a great advantage on you..."

That picked Harucka's curiosity and she raised an eyebrow. "And that would be?"

" `I' wrote the Kama Sutra."

There was a dead silence in the room. Haruka's lower jaw had hit the floor, Michiru's eyes were twitching madly and she was about to strike her lover with a fifty tons hammer and Ami's head had finally blown up.

Setsuna looked around her and blinked. "Hey, now! Who ate my last chocolate?" She asked indignantly.

The end

A.N: God that was fun to write! I hope you had as much fun reading it. I realized for quite some time that I really suck at mushy fics (tried it, ashamed to death at the results). So, I decided I'd better stick to humourous and action fics...

* WHAAACKKK! *

Glowering in rage above the now twin bloody goops of the author and Harucka, stand both Michiru and Ami with mallets in hands, ready to beat the crap out of them at the mere sign of life. "THAT WASN'T FUNNY!!!" The two water senshi spit.

From the corner of the screen suddenly appears The Great Will of the Macrocosm in a burst of ethereally tasteless music.

"I, The Great Will of the Macrocosm, reset this story and grant you a new life in order for you to help me get back in my own anim, because I think I'm lost, you see, and I don't want to have to resurrect the characters of another serie too, I've got enough work with the Excel Saga's as it is (which isn't owned by this fanfic's author who is already dead anyway, but by Rikdo Koshi) and I want to get back to my dear Pedro-san, thank you very much..."

Then an alarm is heard. "Oh! I'm going to miss my soap opera! Gotta go! See ya!" And with that, The Great Will of the Macrocosm leaves hastilly with an accelered version of the previous soundtrack.

"NOOOOOOO!!!! COME BAAACKKK!!!" Harucka and the author scream, only to be beaten up to a pulp by the two water senshi once again.