Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Silver Sailor Moon ❯ What Have I Done? ( Chapter 2 )

I wrote this fanfic for my sister. Hope ya like it.Do not be too harsh it is my first fanfic.If you are a major Mamoru/Darien fan do not read, and if you do, please dont throw anything at me.I do not own Sailor Moon or related characters they belong to Takeuchi, Naoko

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All eight women sat around the large mahogany table in the conference room. The Inner Princesses were still dressed in their ball gowns, Rei dressed in red, Minako dressed in yellow, Ami dressed in light blue, and Makoto dressed in green. The Outer Senshi were dressed in their sailor uniforms. Pluto sat at the head of the table and held everyone’s attention. “I’m sorry to pull you all away from such a festive occasion.”

“Yeah, we were all having such a great time.” Rei said still rubbing her cheek, which still had a perfect red whelp in the shape of a small hand.

Softly Ami replied to her friend’s sarcasm, “Well Rei you did bring it upon yourself. You know how emotional she is.”

“She didn’t have to slap me.” Rei thought to herself, at least she showed some real emotion other than weeping, crying, and moaning.

Pluto cleared her throat. “Sorry.” Rei and Ami said in unison.

“Something is going to happen. We have a powerful enemy coming to face us. The negative energy seems to be that of the Lucite and the Black Moon family, but it is different somehow. It is somehow stronger, not just because of the crystal, but some darker more sinister force is behind them.” Saturn spoke in a voice much older than her years. “I believe Lucite has sold his soul to the devil.”

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She looked up into his handsome face. Those deep blue eyes that sparkled, that long curly black hair, she jumped into his strong arms. “Seiya…” She buried her face in his chest.

Seiya held her close and kissed the top of her head. “Serenity, I’m here for you. I would have been here sooner, if only I had known.”

“You’re here now.” She mumbled into his chest. “Please call me Usagi; I don’t want to be called Serenity. I’m not really that person anymore.”

“Okay, Usagi.” He held her out from him so he could look at her. Seiya felt odd about calling her anything other than Odango, he had never called her anything but.

He was shocked at how she looked. Not only was she thin, pale, and it looked as if she hadn’t done anything with her hair in a week, but her once dark blue eyes looked faded. The innocence that had been in her wide eyes was gone, replaced by oceans of sadness. Although she was still as beautiful as she had ever been.

His heart broke. “Is there somewhere we can talk?”

Usagi lead him to a sitting room right off of her bedroom. She had changed out of her dress into a t-shirt and skirt. They sat on a couch close to each other, their knees touched. Being this close to her made so many emotions resurface. His heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest. The last time he was near her she was in the arms of her true love, Mamoru. Seiya had fallen so deeply in love with her, so fast, he hadn’t even realized it.

Seiya knew that it was a one sided love, but he didn’t care as long as he could be near her. Now he had a chance, but was this the way he wanted to take his chance. She was so emotional, so distraught, and so vulnerable.

“Seiya, how are you doing? How is everyone doing?” She looked up at him, he could see in her eyes that he was wrong, a little of the innocence was still there. “How is Princess, no, Queen Kakyuu, and Yaten, and Taiki? You know Ami and Minako talk about them all the time.”

“Well, the feeling seems to be mutual. Yaten and Taiki talk about them too.”

“Ami and Minako are still single you know. Well so are Rei and Makoto. Not saying that they haven’t tried to find someone. Oh, and Haruka and Micharu are still together, Hotaru is just now starting to notice guys, I guess she is a late bloomer. Setsuna, well as usual she is by herself. She is the solitary keeper of time and all.”

“Odan…Usagi you always think of everyone else before you think of yourself.”

Tears came to her eyes and she shook her head. “No, not lately. I think I have been selfish. All I have been thinking about is myself and of course Mamo-chan.” Her voice trailed off.

“Seiya, I missed you.”

Now tears came to his eyes. “Usagi, I missed you too. You just don’t know how much.” It was hard for him to say anything around the lump in his throat, but he knew he had to get around all the small talk. He needed to find out what happened to make this usually spunky, happy-go-lucky ball of fire, into this living ghost. “We are passed the how do’s and miss you’s. Now let’s really talk. How are you really Usagi?”

Usagi twisted her hands in her lap; she tried her best not to cry. She didn’t want Seiya to see her cry. Her chest tightened up and she found it hard to breath. “Seiya, I miss him.” She blurted out as tears slid down her cheeks. “I can’t live without him. He was, is everything to me. He died in my arms and there was not a damned thing I could do. I had his blood all over me and there was not a damned thing I could do.” She stared at her hands as if she could still see his blood on them.

He pulled her to him. “What happened?” Usagi stayed in his arms for a few minutes enjoying the warmth of his arms around her. Oh how she longed to have her loves arms around her to keep her warm and safe.

She pushed away from him and sat up. Usagi wiped her hands across her eyes. “Do you want the long or the short story?” She kind of chuckled.

“Usagi, which ever one you want to tell me.” Just looking at her in so much pain, hurt him more than anything. Tears burned at his eyes, but he tried to hold them back. He had to be strong for her.

“It’s my birthday, did you know that? That what this big celebration is all about. Would you like a glass of wine?” She gestured towards a small bar in the room.

“I didn’t forget, Happy Birthday, Usagi.” Seiya leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. Her skin felt so warm to his lips. So many emotions. He jumped up from the couch. “Sure a glass of wine sounds good. I’ll get it, you stay right there.” He came back with two glasses and a bottle, pouring he motioned for her to start.

“It started in the 20th century, two years before you and your brothers came to Earth. A little girl with pink hair that was in ponytails like mine,” she reached up and touched her hair, suddenly aware of how unkempt it was, “came out of the sky. Chibi-usa, she is, was our daughter, Mamoru and mine. She was from the 30th century. I’m not entirely sure of what year. The Black Moon family, also from the future, was after her to kill her and steal the silver crystal. My silver crystal.” Seiya noticed the spite in her voice when she mentioned the Black Moon family. The spark of fire in her blue eyes, he had never seen or heard such hatred come from her. He didn’t even know she was capable of having such hatred in her.

“The Black Moon family was a group of traitors that I, well Neo-Queen Serenity banned from Earth. They went to the planet of darkness, Nemesis. Long story short, we defeated them and the Doom Phantom. Two years later we fought Galaxia,” she waved her hand at him, “well you know that part of the story. What you might not know is that during the battle and everyone’s rebirth, the Earth and its people had slept for a thousand years. After you all went back, I had to use the silver crystal to the Earth back to life.”

Seiya interrupted her. “No, not only Earth the whole Galaxy went into hibernation.” He looked out the window at the night sky. “We all felt your power when you awoke and restored the Earth. Your power restored our kingdom and people, too.”

She shook her head. Strands of her blonde hair slipped down into her face. Seiya wanted to reach out and tuck it back behind her ear, but absently in thought Usagi’s small delicate hand swept it back off her face. “With the crystal I rebuilt and brought the world into the Silver Millennium. Mamoru and I got married six months later. The people made us into the king and queen of Crystal Tokyo. It all happened so fast. I was the legendary Neo-Queen Serenity and he was Neo-King Endymion. Our destiny was fulfilled.”

Seiya poured Usagi and himself another glass of wine. “Not for long, we had two wondrous years together. First the attacks started by the traitors. They were a ruthless group, wars, blood shed. The group was led by Lucite and his wife Nepheline. They had come to the Earth a few years before Galaxia, from the Kingdom of the New Moon, Nehelenia’s kingdom.” Again she waved her hand at Seiya. “Another of our enemies and another story.”

“They were both very strong and powerful. They also had a crystal, the dark crystal, the stone of illusions that would destroy us all. Nepheline felt that they should have been made king and queen, their children, Dimando and Safir should have been the heirs to the throne. We fought many battles with the traitors. In the last battle, I killed Nepheline. Lucite fled, he vowed revenge on me and my family. I used the silver crystal to heal his army of all negative forces. I banned Lucite and his few loyal followers from Earth. Lucite was a true abomination of a man. The father of the Black Moon clan. Yes we are again fighting the same enemies from over 1000 years ago. I know it’s confusing but we are talking about people who have found the ability to go back and forth in time, as they so choose.”

“One day Mamoru and I were walking through the park,” Usagi was finding it hard to talk now, “Lucite appeared before us, he just appeared out of no where. He was using the power of the black crystal, but somehow he had gone back in time and retrieved another black crystal. He had merged the two black crystals together. He went to shoot dark energy at me; Mamoru pushed me out of the way and took all of its force. It was a direct hit to his chest.” She held her hands to her chest as if she had been hit.

With pure hatred in her voice she said, “Lucite disappeared before I could kill him.”

Usagi was now panting; she was holding back the tears though. “I tried to use my silver crystal to heal Mamoru, but it just gave out. I guess it was just used up, the crystal shattered in my hands. I held him in my arms, his blood all over my hands.” She finally started to cry, she looked down at her hands again. “He told me he loved me, and he died. I felt like I lost everything that day.” She put her hands to her stomach. “I lost my love and I lost my child, now I will never have Chibi-usa.”

She raised her hands to cover her face. “There was nothing I could do. Nothing I could do. He died for me; he died to save my life. Seiya, did you know it was exactly a year ago yesterday? He died the day before my birthday.”

Seiya did not know what to say, he just sat and looked at her. Part of him wished he had not found out the whole story. “Usagi, I am so sorry.”

“It was my fault, I could not save him. I was not strong enough. I wasn’t strong enough to save him.”

She fell into Seiya’s strong arms. He held her tight. He whispered in her ear, “It was not your fault. There was nothing you could do.” He held her while she wept. He had tears in his own eyes. “His shine was gone.”

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“We have found out that Lucite has built up a small army, and he plans to attack the city.” Pluto said. “We just don’t know when, and with the power of that crystal.” She shook her head.

“What are we supposed to do?” Makoto asked. “Serenity can’t transform into Sailor Moon any more, now that the crystal is gone. We can’t transform either. You four are the only Sailor Senshi left. What can we do?”

“Sit idly by while our queen has a nervous breakdown?” Rei added.

“Rei will you stop being such a bitch.” Uranus growled at Rei.

“Look, I love my friend very much. If I am being a bitch, it’s because I am trying to help her.”

“Putting her down all the time won’t help her.”

“Well I suppose flirting with her or treating her like a child will.” Both women jumped up from the table ready to fight.

Pluto cleared her throat again and stood up. “Hey, I know this year has been tough on everybody, but fighting will not help. Both of you love Queen Serenity, I know that, and you both have different ways of trying to help her. Fighting will not help solve anything.” She sat back down in her chair and ran her hand through her long green hair. “Serenity is a very strong willed woman; she will pull herself out of this.”

Minako, who had stayed quiet most of the meeting, stood up and demanded everyone’s attention. “Usagi defeated Galaxia and so many other enemies, she has rebuilt three times, and Crystal Tokyo is here because of her. She awoke from a 1000 year sleep and brought the human race back to life. We would not be here if not for her. I think she can handle this.”

“She had the Imperial Silver Crystal and Mamoru by her side though.”

Minako looked at in disdain. “Yes, that’s true.” She sat back down, put her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. “But the crystal got its power from within Usagi; I don’t believe it is entirely gone. And I might add Mamoru was not always there for her, neither were we.”

“She will come through this, we have no doubt.” Pluto replied. “Right now we need to strengthen our defenses, get our army ready. The Outer Senshi haven’t lost our powers by the loss of the crystal. We need to use our power to protect Serenity and the city.”

“We need to protect our queen and the Earth,” Uranus said, “at all costs.”

“Can we get some help from outside? Like maybe Queen Kakyuu and the Star Lights?” Ami said, but blushed when she thought about the Star Lights. “They came through for us in the last battle.”

Uranus cleared her throat in disgust.

“I thought you said we need to protect Serenity and the world at all costs.” Ami asked. “Well, why can’t we get some outside help.”

“We don’t need outside help. The Outer Scouts are strong enough.” Uranus answered.

“We can’t call in outside help, because we really don’t know who we can trust.” added.

Rei looked at Pluto and asked a question that had been bugging her for a while. “Why is it that our powers are gone, but not yours?”

Makoto played with her rose earrings deep in thought. “Why is it that our memories of future King Endymion are becoming hazy, but not the memories of Small Lady? You’re the keeper of time, cant you tell us what is going on?”

The tall green haired girl rubbed her temples. “I honestly don’t know. We have asked ourselves the same questions over and over. I have consulted my star charts and Cronos is keeping completely silent. When someone’s destiny changes, when you alter the outcome of time, it changes everything; past, present, and future.” She ran her hand through her hair again. “The future of Queen Serenity and King Endymion was pre-destined, but someone killed Endymion. Now the queen’s new destiny has not unfolded itself to me yet. There are no answers I can give you. Saturn do you want to tell them about your vision?”

The small black haired girl stood and said. “Last night I had a vision,” she held everyone’s attention, “in that vision I saw Queen Serenity, King Endymion, and another man, but his face was not clear. This man and the king had the same shine. Both men were connected to Serenity by a red ribbon. Endymion took out a knife and cut the ribbon that connected him to Serenity. He walked to the other guy and gave him something, kissed Serenity’s cheek, and turned and walked away.” She looked at the other girls with her purple eyes. “I don’t know what it means; I guess it could just be my worry for our dear queen.” She shook her head and sat back down.

Rei stood up, completely frustrated. “Well, I guess that we don’t know any more than we did before. Lucite has sold his soul; my guess is the Doom Phantom. That the only devil that I can think of that is involved with that damned family. If everyone remembers clearly just about killed us all back then. And Saturn has had a vision of Serenity and another guy. We are no closer to a solution. I don’t need my sight to tell me that we are screwed.” She turned and walked out of the door and stood in the hall.

“I apologize for Rei; she just worries for our queen. We will work on getting our army together. Makoto and I will talk to the general tomorrow and see what we can come up with.” Minako told Pluto. “Our defenses will be strong against humans. I just worry about the dark energy. If it is the Doom Phantom, I don’t know what we will do.”

“Minako, we thank you for doing such a good job standing in for Queen-Serenity this year.” said as she stood. “I just hope she comes around soon. The people of Crystal Tokyo need her.”

“She will, she always has. She is strong.” Ami said as the Inner Princesses turned and followed Rei down the hall.

Rei turned to look at her friends with tears in her eyes. “Usagi is too sweet to be strong.” She went down the hall to her room.

“I know she will work through this,” Ami looked at her friends, “but it will be in her own way. I just wish we knew how to get in touch with the Star Lights. I’ll go to my room and work on my computer and see what I can find out.”

Minako and Makoto walked toward their queen’s room. “Should we check on her?”

“She may just want to be alone.” Minako answered.

“She has been alone for a year…” Makoto stopped short. They could hear voices from Serenity’s room. Worried for their queen they went to the door and looked through.

“Some prayers have been answered.” Minako smiled at her friend and they ran down the hall.

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Usagi and Seiya sat in each others arms for a while. Finally she pulled away from him, wiping her eyes. “Thank you, Seiya. I haven’t told anyone the whole story. Now I have, I feel a little better.” She looked at him. “Seiya, you must really be tired. Do you have a place to stay for the night? I’m afraid I took up most of your night talking.”

“Usagi, you amaze me. No matter what is going on in your life, you are always concerned about everyone else.” He almost said aloud, that’s one thing I love about you. “No don’t worry your pretty little head about me.” Seiya ruffled her hair. “Besides, I told everyone I would come back home tonight.”

A look of disappointment crossed her face. “You mean, you are going back tonight. Why so soon?”

He looked at her teasingly. “Contrary to what you may think, little woman, I am a very important person back on my planet. Not quite idol status, but I am important.” He ruffled her hair and smiled at her.

Usagi reached out to put her hand on his face. “Seiya, it really is good to see you. You always know how to put a smile on my face.”

“Well, you are most beautiful when you smile.” He could not believe he said that. It must be that he was getting really tired and maybe a little tipsy. They had drunk the whole bottle of wine.

“Seiya, do you really think that I am beautiful?” The wisps of golden hair had fallen down in her face again. He reached over to tuck the hair back in place, but she grabbed his hand and put it up to her lips, and kissed it.

He found it very hard to speak; just her touch sent sparks through him. “Yes, I think you are the most beautiful woman in the universe. I’m sure that you have heard that before.”

A new spark came into Usagi’s eyes; it was another look he had never seen before. She ran her fingers through his hair and down his neck. “Do you like me, Seiya?”

Seiya was getting cold chills up and down his body. She had moved a little closer to him on the couch. He could feel her breath on the side of his face. “Yes, I like you very much, Usagi. If you weren’t blind you would know that.” Her fingers traced the muscles on his arms and chest. Emotions flooded through Seiya that he had never felt before.

Usagi moved even closer to Seiya on the couch, if she got any closer to him she would be sitting in his lap. Her body was touching his now. “Do you want me, Seiya?”

The question shocked him so much; he almost fell off of the couch. “I have wanted you from the moment I saw you.” Did he really just say that?

Usagi started to kiss him on his neck. “Do you love me, Seiya?” Now she kissed his face. He could see fire in her azure eyes, not the fire from hate, but the fire of passion.

“I have loved you since the moment I saw you at the airport. I have loved you since the first time I spoke to you. I have loved you for all of my life. I love you with every breath and every heartbeat. I love you with all of my heart and soul.” She kissed him on his lips, softly at first, then with more urgency. Something inside of him burst. He kissed her back. He caressed her face, her neck, her back. He pulled her into his lap, so he could fell the weight of her body on his. Every time their tongues touched electric sparks went through his body. Seiya moved his hands up and down her legs, up the thigh, stopped short of her underwear. The feel of her smooth skin almost made him cry. He had dreamed about this moment, this very moment for a very long time.

Her skin felt like rose petals under his fingers; her lips were so moist and warm, and full of longing. Usagi moved Seiya’s free to the swells of her breasts; he caressed and kissed them as if they were delicate roses. The soft musky scent of her skin was too much for him, tears came to his eyes. He felt that if this moment ended he would certainly die. Then the realization of what he was doing, struck him like a brick. He pulled away from her. They were both panting for air. “We can’t do this.” Seiya told Usagi when he caught his breath.

Usagi looked at him in bewilderment. “You said you love me.” She pouted. At that moment she was the most beautiful he had ever seen her. Seiya found it hard to breath. “What is wrong with that? Besides we are two consenting adults.”

“This is not right. We both have had a little much to drink, and we may regret it in the morning.” He fought with so much emotion. He wanted her so badly. His heart was pounding out of his chest. “Usagi, I love you too much for it to happen like this.”

“You are a man after all and I am a woman.” She trailed her finger along the side of his face, just her touch made him gasp. Her hand ran down his chest, his stomach, his … he moaned with pleasure. She leaned over; her lips touched his ear, her touch made him tremble. Her long silky hair fell down around his face. “The only regret I’ll have is not doing this.” Usagi turned his face to her and kissed him hard on the lips, she ran her hands up under his shirt to feel his bare chest, around to his back. Her hands worked up and down his body. “I want you, Kou Seiya. Please, I need you.”

He could only take but so much, he was only a man after all. Seiya picked her up and carried her to the bedroom; he laid her down on the bed. She pulled him down on top of her. “I love you, Usagi. I always have and I always will.”

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The morning sun streaked across his face. Seiya woke up from a wondrous dream. A dream he had been having for so many years. Then he felt her move in the bed beside him. He looked over to see an angel asleep beside him.

Oh, no, what have I done. He rolled up on his side so he could look at Usagi. She looked so peaceful, so innocent. What have I done? He felt sick to his stomach. Seiya touched her sleeping face with the tips of his fingers. She felt so warm. What have I done? She moved closer to him in the bed, he put his arms around her. The warmth of her skin, he could feel her naked body against his. She snuggled her face into his chest. At this moment he felt he was in heaven.

Seiya whispered to her. “I love you, Odango atama.”

In her sleep Usagi whispered back to him. “I love you, too, Mamo-chan.”

A thousand knives stabbed into his heart. He slid away from her and looked around the room he had spent the night in. Seiya could not breathe; they were in Usagi’s room. No, not just Usagi’s room, but the king and queen’s room. He got up out of bed and started to put his clothes on. This was their room. He could see on the dresser was a photograph of their wedding. He looked over to the closet and he could see women’s and men’s clothing.

She had kept Mamoru’s clothes. Seiya put his hand up to his head. What have I done? Tears had come to his eyes. He looked over at the photo again. We look so much alike. Realization struck him, the look she gave him while they were making love, the things she whispered in his ear. She was not making love to him, but to her dead husband. Seiya was just a replacement. He felt as if he were going to vomit.

Usagi stirred in the bed, she sat up suddenly. “Oh, my head hurts.” The sheet slid down showing her bare chest. She looked up at him. “Seiya, why are you getting dressed so soon?” She patted the bed next to her. “Come, get back in the bed it’s early yet.”

“What happened last night?” He kept his back to her.

“What do you think happened?” Usagi was confused. “We made love. Don’t tell me you were to drunk to remember it.”

Seiya finally turned toward her. She could see he had been crying. She got out of bed and walked over to him. “Seiya, what’s wrong? What is all of this about?” She reached out to touch him. He just looked at her, his eyes so full of turmoil.

“What did we do last night?” His dream had finally come true. He was finally with the woman he had loved. God he was such a fool. His angel was standing here in front of him.

Usagi was completely confused. “We made love. Why do you keep asking?”

“Who were you making love to?” Seiya’s tortured voice came out. “Were you with me, were you sleeping with a memory, or were you just sleeping with a warm body?” He spat out the last.

Shocked at this, Usagi did not know what to say. She just looked at him. What did he mean? She turned around and picked up a shirt off of the chair next to the bed and put it on. She turned back to Seiya. “I don’t know what you are talking about?” Anger was beginning to boil up inside of her. Why was he so cold to her?

“If I hadn’t been here would you have slept with someone else, anyone who would listen to you?” Seiya could not believe he had just said that to the woman he loved.

Usagi slapped him hard in the face. “How dare you say that to me?”

Seiya crumpled down onto his knees. He held his face. She had really slapped him hard. Tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Seiya!” Usagi fell down on the floor in front of him. “Oh, Seiya, I am so sorry.” She had slapped two of her best friends in two days. What was wrong with her? She put her arms around him as he sobbed.

He pulled himself together, stood up, and lifted her up to her feet. “Usagi, it is I who am sorry. I am sorry for what I said. I had no right.” Seiya shook his head. “And I am sorry for what we did last night. You were so vulnerable, and I took advantage of you.”

Tears came to her eyes. “No …”

“You love Mamoru so much. I know that you slept with me in replacement for him.” Seiya went back to putting his clothes on. He grabbed his shirt off of the floor and slid it around his shoulders. Usagi could not take her eyes off of him. He did remind her of Mamoru.

“No, that is not why I made love to you.” She stepped back and sat down on the bed. “Seiya you mean so much to me. Please don’t leave me. I can’t go on with out him; I’m just not strong enough.”

“Look at me Usagi.” Seiya walked over to her. He kneeled down on his knees. “You are the strongest person I know. You are strong because you have so much love in you. Your strength is buried somewhere inside of you. Soon you are going to have to find it. I know you can survive without him. You just aren’t ready to give him up.”

Usagi sat on the bed and stared at her hands.

“I know you care for me, but you don’t love me.” Seiya said with such heart ache. “I am your friend, and I will always be your friend, but I will not be a replacement. If I were to be in your life, I want you to love me. I don’t want to replace your king. I can’t do that. No one can.” He reached into his pocket and brought out a glass red rose. “I wanted to give this to you.” He handed her the delicate rose. ‘When you look at it, I want you to think about me and my love for you.”

“It’s so beautiful.” She had a sad smile on her face as she looked down at the rose in her hands.

Usagi looked up at him with tears in her eyes. She was so beautiful. If he stayed any longer, no matter what he said, he would break and be hers forever. “I once told you, that I knew this love was one-sided and that would be enough for me. I was just a replacement for Mamoru then. I just can’t do that now.”

“But Seiya…” There was something she wanted to say, but she just could not get it out.

“Usagi, I love you, and I will always be there for you.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Find your strength, and live. I wish I had met you earlier, Odango.” Seiya turned and walked out of the door. I am such a fool, why am I trying to break her heart?

Tears streamed down her cheeks, but Seiya I think I do love you.

Usagi sat on the edge of her bed for what seemed like an eternity. Seiya… What had she done? She held the rose close to her heart.