Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ The Side Less Seen ❯ Chapter 1

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

The Side Less Seen (PG-13)

by Christina Anton
daylin@sailorsenshi.i-p.com

Disclaimer: I didn't create Sailor Moon. That honor goes to
Takeuchi Naoko. I in no way own any of the characters in this
story.


This is a side of me that few ever see. The gentler side of
me has made few appearances in my sixteen years of life.

Usagi and I have our share of fights and can really get on
each other's nerves sometimes, but over the time we've known each
other, we've come to understand one another. I tease her about
being a crybaby and call her odango atama, she cries and whines
for me to stop, I keep doing it and then we get into a shouting
match. Our friends don't seem to know what to do with us during
out fights and generally try to stay out of them. What they don't
know is that Usagi and I had a little chat about a year ago.

It was a little while after the defeat of Pharaoh 90. To
this day I don't exactly know what started the fight between Usagi
and I that day. Everyone was here at the shrine, going over the
events of the battle. The next thing I knew, Usagi and I were
yelling at each other and both of us were truly pissed off.

Now fights between Odango Atama and I weren't that uncommon
and still aren't today. But fights between _Usagi_ and I were.
You see, it is very hard to get Usagi truly angry, but that day I
had seemed to strike a nerve. I don't even know what either of us
had yelled at each other, but when we had calmed down enough to
notice the room around us, everyone had left. Apparently, they
had decided to let us settle our differences by ourselves that
time.

One thing that I do remember from that shouting match was
that the last thing I said had shocked us both into silence. Now
that I think about it, Usagi might well have blocked my memories
of what had been said somehow.

For a few moments we just stared at each other. I had had
tears in my eyes and had noticed that Usagi had a few running down
her cheeks also. On any other day, I would have teased her about
them, but that time I knew that our arguing had gotten serious.
The things that we had said had made us so angry that even our
friends had had to leave the room.

In one of the few times in my life, I gave a sincere apology
to Usagi. Usually, my apologies to her were from glares and
pokes from the other senshi or just the need to get her to quiet
down. But that time I truly _was_ sorry. I knew what I had said
had been totally out of line. "Gomen Usagi-chan." I whispered.

By then, the anger had been completely drained out of me,
and looking at Usagi's weary face, hers was gone too. "Oh Rei-
chan," she said, "why do we do this?"

"I don't know." I was still whispering. My throat had felt
raw from yelling, and somehow it didn't seem right to raise my
voice any higher. I closed my eyes, damning myself to any hell
that would take me and thinking that I shouldn't have the right to
even _look_ at my princess ever again in this lifetime nor any
other.

But at the same time a little angry fire was building in my
soul, ranting about how irresponsible she was, how she took risks
that could easily get her killed, how hard she made it for me to
protect her when she disregarded all the dangers of the world--

"Rei-chan."

Her saying my name in such a gentle way stopped my minds
ranting, and made me remember that I had just gotten into the
worst argument I had ever had with her. With my princess. The
one I was supposed to protect. And I had SCREAMED at her.

Why the hell was she always so nice to me? I treated her
like crap and she's still nice to me. I didn't deserve it.

My legs had refused to support me and dropped me to my knees
on the floor. My hands were between my knees and a few tears had
gotten past my eyelids.

And then that gentle voice came again, reminding me of all
the reasons why I protected her. She was PURE. She had a heart
that would embrace _anyone_, trust _anyone_, and be damned if that
person rejected her because it would be HER soul that suffered.
"Rei-chan, open your eyes." And for the reason that I _never_
wanted that pure soul to suffer by my actions least of all, I
opened them.

It was times like those that I could see the future queen in
her. She was kneeling before me, looking straight into my eyes.
She had then reached out and wiped the tears from my face with her
hand. I wanted to scream at her again. I didn't deserve her
forgiveness! She should have been hating me. She should have been
turning away from me and shoving me out of her life! But she
wasn't, and my tears had started again.

She had then wordlessly gathered me in her arms and put my
head on her shoulder, just letting me cry. They were tears of
guilt and frustration. I had rarely ever let those tears fall, and
then only in the company of the fire or the sheets of my bed.

Usagi had waited until my sobs had subsided to sniffles
before speaking. She had left my head on her tear soaked
shoulder. "Feel better now Rei-chan?" she said softly. I nodded
slightly against her shoulder in response. "Good, you needed
that." Usagi had paused, but continued rubbing my back as she had
been throughout my bout of crying.

"We need to talk about why we're always arguing. Today, we
both over stepped bounds we shouldn't have."

"Gomen, I--" She didn't let me finish, making a hushing
sound.

"You have no reason to apologize, Rei-chan. We've both been
having a stressful last couple of days." That was true. Everyone
had been scrambling to catch up on missed schoolwork. All of us
had also been having nightmares about what had happened at Mugen
Gakuen. I should know, they had come to me often enough to work
through them. "Can you answer a question for me?" She asked me.
Again I nodded, still too sick of myself to be able to refuse her
anything. "What makes you so angry with me all the time?"

Oh, and there was the question. The one that would bare my
heart and soul to her. Maybe it was time, I had thought to
myself, that she knew that I was so protective of her that I
couldn't control myself when she acted, quite frankly, stupidly.

Taking a deep breath, I lifted my head from her shoulder and
looked her in the face. At that moment, she had looked just like
her mother except for the missing silver hair. "I get so angry
with you because..." I had trailed off, agonizing over how to say
it without it sounding angry again. I had no right to ever get
angry with her ever again, I-- It was then that something within
me had finally had enough.

Coming to a decision, I grabbed that annoying thing that
made me feel like I wasn't doing my job, shoved it into a
convenient closet, and slammed the door behind it. "Because
dammit, you don't take care of yourself! How am I and the others
supposed to protect you when you won't even protect yourself!
Always tripping over this or that, then wasting time crying about
it! And then you decide to get so stubborn sometimes that you
won't listen to us!" Usagi's eyebrows had risen, but I was on a
roll. Nothing was going to stop me from telling her how I felt
and why I felt that way. The consequences be damned! "You use
your heart too much and don't listen to your head. You want to
know why I get so angry with you!?! Because I'm freaking SCARED
for you! Do you know how worried I get when you trip in battle or
follow your damn heart when we're fighting? By the Kami, Usa,
you're so brave when you follow that heart of yours that you don't
listen to common sense! The way you disregard your own safety
sometimes makes me feel useless!" I had then broken down into
tears again, except these were tears of both frustration and
relief. I had finally gotten it out, and felt the better for it.

Taking me in her arms again, Usagi had rocked me back and
forth, murmuring things I can't remember in a soothing tone. She
had then waited until I'd calmed down before addressing the
situation again. "I'm sorry I don't act the way you think I
should, Rei-chan, but following my heart is instinct. It's who I
am. I know I get myself into trouble doing it, but I can't go
against who I am. I see someone hurting and I have to help them;
it doesn't matter if they've been deemed an enemy or not. And you
want to know why I take as many risks as I do? I do it because
I'd rather do it by myself rather than have you or one of the
others get hurt. I have complete and utter trust in you all that
you'll do your best for me. But I can't help but worry that your
best will get yourselves killed. And I really can't help being
clumsy, I guess that's who I am too." Usagi had laughed at the
last part.

"But all we want, all _I_ want to do is protect--" She had
cut me off again, this time with words.

"I know, and I still want and expect you to. I still expect
you to yell at me for being stupid and taking risks I don't need
to. In case you hadn't noticed, your yelling has gotten through,
albeit slowly. Am I as bad as I was when you first met me?"

She had had a point there. She _had_ gotten a little better
than when I had first met her. The way she had been acting that
day was proof of that. I hadn't had to say anything, Usagi knew
that I had realized it.

"So," she paused to move me so she could look me in the eye.
"Now that we understand each other, I want you to keep yelling at
me to shape up. I understand why you do it now, so it won't hurt
my feelings as much anymore. In fact, I'll probably listen to you
more. But you can't change me overnight, and probably a thousand
years from now I'll still be childish. But just maybe, due to you
and the others, I might know when it's time for being childish and
when it's time for being a queen."

"Usagi-chan, if it's the only way to get you from being hurt
or killed, I'll keep doing it. I just want you to know that I
don't always _like_ yelling at you. And sometimes it truly does
make me feel useless. And the thing is, your being childish and
happy all the time is what I and the others love about you. I
guess part of what makes me angry is jealousy. I can't be happy
like you all the time. There's this need to protect you for the
very reason of wanting to see you happy, but also not wanting to
see you dead."

The smile that had blossomed on her face was brighter than a
thousand moons. "Thank you Rei-chan, for trying to keep me on the
right track. Let's agree to try and get along a little better
from now on, ne?" At my smile and nod she had continued. "Let's
also forget whatever we said to each other earlier too. Neither
of us meant any of it anyway."

That day has been etched into my memory forever. That was
the day that Usagi and I realized that we cared about each other
more than words could say. Since that day, we have been the best
of friends, even though we do get into the same old arguments as
we always have. Our friends have noticed a change in us, and
Mina-chan has even asked me about it. All I told her was: "We
talked."

As for what I'm doing right now... This is something I
wouldn't have done before our little talk. You see, Usagi is
really afraid of thunderstorms. I'm starting to think that it's a
phobia, but the name of it escapes me. At the moment, it's
pouring rain outside and thunder is shaking the whole temple.
Every flash of light and every peal of thunder has her jumping and
wailing, and clinging to any warm body she can get her hands on.
Namely me. But, I don't mind at all. Though for prides sake, if
any of the others were here I wouldn't have been letting her do
this.

But we're alone here in my room, and I'm protecting her.
That's all I really care about.

End

Hope you all enjoyed that. I'm not usually one to write Rei
stories, but I've read so many of them that this popped into my
little noggin. Remember, feedback is always welcome.

And I want to thank Kylana for having the patience to read through
all the stuff I send her and correcting all the silly mistakes
I've made ^^.

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