Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ This Is Not Hell ❯ Chapter 1

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Foreword:

Never write a story when you're mad. Ugly things happen.

Now, I am going to warn all of you people. This is down right
mean. But this songfic has a message with it concerning the
truest form of the author's creative mind and what really
fascinates readers when they read a story. I hope it does
anyway.

I would like to dedicate this to my bamboo eating friend, for
if wasn't for her, I probably wouldn't have been mad enough to
write this. Thanks Pandora, I don't think anyone else could
really piss me off this good.

All apologies to these characters and readers that are going to
suffer.

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This Is Not Hell

A songfic by Bastion

Inspired by a song by Jimmie's Chicken Shack

[Scene opens with a dim hallway colored in strange shades of
green, yellow, and red. The camera goes down the hall, and
doors can be seen every few feet or so, one on each side. At
the end of the hallway is a merry-go-round, now in motion with
its lights fluttering agitatedly off white grinning horses.
The camera follows the motions of the merry-go-round, and stops
on a person wearing a jester's costume. The view focuses on his
face painted pasty white with purple and black circling his mouth
and eyes.

Grinning, he begins to sing.]

if this is hell
well that's fine with me
all of the wonder presumably happily
eager to follow the fool that's got into the head of me

[The jester swings his arms happily and laughs insanely. He
jumps off the merry-go-round and approaches the nearest door.
He opens it.]

we don't have any doubt
we're out there making friends
unconsciously rolling through meanings from pollings
the answers are meaner sometimes
than the means to our ends

[Inside is Uranus, who has found herself in a dress and is
struggling to get it off. She comes to the instant realization
she's at a funeral. Confused she looks into the coffin and
realizes its Neptune. Tears well in her eyes as she notices all
of her friends point at her with their unforgiving eyes
narrowed. She turns back to the coffin and sees Neptune sitting
upright with her bony finger pointing to her accuser.

Uranus screams. The jester sings]

so this is hell
what else could it be

[He closes the door and opens another.]

bask in the glory of glorified stories
of a basket case who has just
broken himself from the weave

[Inside, Mars is singing her heart out in front of a packed
audience. As she sings she notices the predatory looks she is
getting from several people in the front row. She does her best
to ignore them until a tomato whizzes past her face. Suddenly,
she is pummeled by tomatoes. The juice from the tomatoes burn
and eat away at her skin. She tries to scream but is cut off.
Her eyes widen with horror as her father shoves the tomato
further down her throat.

The jester winks and closes the door before opening another. He keeps
singing.]

we are not making sense
who really cares just how we feel
infantile ramblings of pennyless gambings
a fist full of hand swinging clubs
at our new baby zeal

[Inside is Mercury sitting in a desk at school, alone. Several
friends enter the room, hiding things behind their backs. She
is about to say hello when all her friends reveal their clubs.
Terrified, she runs for the exit, only to be nailed in the knee.
Her friends surround her like a pack of ravenous dogs and
mercilessly beat her, laughing as they do.

The jester closes the door and smiles a toothy smile.]

yeah right

[He jumps around the hall laughing once again with more fervor.
The jester runs to another door and looks to the audience.]

you think this is hell
would you care to bet

[He opens the door, laughing.]

capture the beauty of domestic duty
the hampers are full and our laundry's perpetually wet

[Inside is Venus asleep in the middle of a dirty street. She
awakens, noticing her filthy attire and small needle scars along her
forearms. She feels a chilly breeze hit her and looks up. At
the end of the street is a man encased in ice, his tormented expression
frozen in place. Venus embraces the cold slab and sobs against it's
frigid surface unable to find a way to free her doomed lover.

The jester closes the door and opens another.]

think about traveling south
find the right something you might have left
endless the road
wish your past to explode
actions remain base
but intentions in treble clef

[Inside Tuxedo Kamen finds himself sitting in the back-seat of a
car. A young blond girl with a particular hairstyle is sitting
next to him. She smiles at him. He smiles back and suddenly
the car begins to shake and it rolls out of control. The next
thing he knows he's in the snow beside the twisted wreckage. He
tries to move, but all his limbs are broken. Just ahead
he sees the face of the blond girl, with her icy blue eyes
staring back him, unblinking.

Tuxedo Kamen screams. The jester sings.

He closes the door and gets right into the camera.]

yeah right

[He bounces around the hall happily before opening another door.]

this is not hell
this is purgatory
caught here in limbo
I.Q. of a dim bulb
how many gods does it take
to screw in the likes of me

[Inside is Pluto, having a romantic dinner with a man of
royalty. She looks out the window with a magnificent view over
an entire city of crystal. She smiles at him and he grins at
her. From out of the shadows, a woman dressed all in white
interrupts their meal. The woman's lips curl maliciously as
Pluto apologizes to her Queen. In mid-sentence, the Queen kicks
Pluto in the stomach. Picking up a glass full of wine, she
splashes Pluto in the face. Then the man stands next to his
Queen and smirks. He charges at Pluto, sending her through the
window. Pluto screams all the way down until she is plastered
on the street.

The jester closes the door and opens another.]

you'd think one day that I might learn
stare in the light and you cannot see
I've opened my doors of perception and can't get
them shut
now I feel fucked for free
everyday yeah I feel fucked for free
everyday yeah I feel fucked for free
every day yeah we're all fucked

[Within Jupiter is overlooking a cliff above an ocean. Two men
appear behind her. Jupiter is startled by their presence, but
the men put an assuring hand on her shoulders. They spread
their wings and take Jupiter in flight over the body of water.
Fear grips Jupiter tighter and tighter as they approach greater
heights. Her fears are slowly ebbed away by the men's
reassurance. Abruptly, they stop ascending, leaving Jupiter a
little confounded. Then their benign expressions give way to
lustful grins and begin to ravish her until she can't move.
After they're done, the men let her limp body fall into the sea.

Jupiter screams.

The jester is rolling on the floor and barely is able to close
the door.]

I left my brain inside of my other head
you don't impress me
don't depress me
don't suppress me
just get undressed

[The jester dances madly in the hall and the paint on his face
begins to rub off.]

I left my brain inside of my other head
the teachers test me
my father blessed me
the pigs arrest me
I get upset

[The jester gets right into the camera and licks the paint off
his lips. The merry-go-round begins to burn.]

I left my brain inside of my other head
you don't impress me
don't depress me
don't suppress me
just undress me

[The jester rubs his face with his gloved hands. The fire
spreads to the rest of the hall.]

the teachers test me
my father blessed me
the pigs arrest me

[He rips off the jester hat.]

I get upset

[The audience now sees a young man with short black hair, his
eyes glowing with inspiration, breathing hard and still
laughing. The camera fades as the jester is surrounded by
flames.]

Fin. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Author's Explanation:

This came about because of the pattern I noticed with the
stories I liked as well as my observation of how those stories
came about via those author's notes. Being a fan of Davies,
DDFA, Carp, and Stanton didn't help much, either. As you can
see, the darkness in ourselves is attracted to the darkness of
others.

Additional credit goes to Strike Fiss for implanting this idea
several years ago. But don't blame him, for did not know what
he was doing!

Again, my apologies...

Sailor Moon is owned by Naoko Takeuchi and in America by DIC.
The song, "This Is Not Hell" is owned by Jimmie's Chicken Shack
and Polygram Records Inc.


Bastion