Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ This Side of Love ❯ One-Shot

Tap.

Crackle.

Tap.

"Um, sorry about that," Ami said, her appearance more than a little frazzled. "I guess I'm first because everyone else is…" she glanced furtively over her shoulder, then delicately, "busy."

Busy was a nice word. People could be busy for all sorts of reasons, be it for work or for needing a few extra moments to get their hand untangled from their best friend's hair and removing their eye from a potentially dangerous collision with another's elbow. Busy, Ami decided, was nice and quite ambiguous.

"I had an introduction ready, and a speech about what I wanted to say to the both of you, but it got caught somewhere in the spur of the moment. I could've sworn I was just holding it," she looked down at her now empty hands and shook her head, "but I suppose it's for the best.

"I remember the time Usagi-chan told me about how she met her true love, although at the time she liked to call him baka," Ami said fondly. "And I remember thinking that I had to find some way of avoiding having you both in the same room, otherwise somebody might lose a nail," she smirked slightly. "And I was right. Mamoru did break a nail soon after that, but I'm glad I didn't listen to my original instincts. This love story might've ended differently." Ami paused, then whispering almost, "and something tells me that this was meant to be."

Ami's face froze, and then Ami--the real Ami, not the one on the television screen frozen by the almighty power of a remote control--blushed profusely as several intimidating looks were sent her way, offset by Usagi's happy weeping as she held onto Mamoru's hand. Mamoru, for his part, looked a little embarrassed (at the fingernail comment, she imagined) and a little shocked. Ami supposed the latter was somewhat due to the fighting hyenas that had made up the backdrop of her taped message. She turned when a tap came at her shoulder and cringed. It looked like Mina had not yet forgotten that Ami's hand had somehow found its way into Mina's long and extremely susceptible to tangling hair.

"That was a very nice message, Ami," Mina said sincerely. Ami searched her face for some sort of menace, relaxed when she found none, and then quickly tensed up again as Mina leant closer to her to say in a lower voice. "But didn't we agree that I would go first?"

Ami blanched, and her eyes darted around the room. "Well…"

"Oh, don't worry!" Mina said cheerfully. "I'll be first when they have a baby!"

Ami let out a long breath. The attention was taken off her now that Rei and Makoto began arguing good-naturedly about who would really be first. Motoki and Naru looked very tempted to join in, but were probably remembering the bruises they'd received for their last efforts.

"That was beautiful, Ami," Usagi said, her eyes still wet and glimmering at the edges. "Thank you so much for saying that, it really means a lot to me."

"And to me too," Mamoru smiled warmly from his seat next to Usagi. "I know I don't say this much to you… well, to anyone really, but you've come to be a great friend over the years."

"Aw, you guys," Ami said shyly with a little laugh. "You know, you're not supposed to be watching this yet! It's supposed to be for after the wedding!"

"Have you ever known Usako to ever wait until Christmas morning to open her presents?" Mamoru tugged gently at one of Usagi's golden pigtails. "You'd have better luck getting her to give up chocolate."

"Blasphemy," Usagi said, turning up her nose. "Anyway, it was just a very small, itsy-bitsy, sneak peek," she said, holding her forefinger and thumb half an inch apart, "for good luck. I promise the rest will be saved for until we're married."

Mamoru coughed, and then quickly stood up when Usagi turned narrowed eyes onto him. "I'm going to get a drink."

"Could you get me a soda, please?"

Mamoru nodded, and she watched as he disappeared into his kitchen. Usagi knew the need to clean up was itching inside of him; perhaps he was already armed with a sponge and his cleaning apron. She shook her head and turned back to Ami, patting the seat beside her. "Ami," she said, leaning in conspiratorially when her friend sat down. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Of course," Ami said.

"Well, you know how the wedding is in five days…"

"Yes?" Ami had the sneaking suspicion that Usagi had forgotten something important, like invitations to her great aunt in Kyoto or presents for the bridal party.

"My wedding dress is something new, and the engagement ring Mamoru gave me belonged to his mother, so that's something old. My mom is lending me a pair of shoes for the reception." Usagi said sheepishly, "but I forgot about something blue. Can I borrow something from you?"

"Oh, Usagi!" Ami laughed. "You can borrow whatever you need. I'm sure I have something blue that's suitable…"

"Thank you, Ami." Usagi smiled without parting her lips. "I knew I could count on you. I really want this day to be perfect, and I don't want to take the chance that something might go wrong because I skipped out on tradition. Imagine, a leftover youma or daimon gate crashing because I forgot something blue!"

Ami laughed again. "You have been dreaming about your wedding for years, haven't you? Makoto warned be about this, but I didn't believe her."

"Yeah. But I suppose even if you didn't have something blue, I could use the Luna Pen to make a garter or something…" Usagi mused.

"Remember the last time you used the Luna Pen for your wedding dress?" Ami shook her head. "That did not turn out well."

Usagi sighed, smoothing out the front of her pink skirt. "Will any of you ever let me forget that?"

"I thought that when you said that you were talking about the kindergarten teacher or the business women…"

"I get the picture, Ami! But, you know, the Luna Pen was made for me to disguise myself." Usagi huffed, and out of the corner of her eye she could see Mina and Rei in the middle of a staring contest. Was that how they were deciding the next video order? Makoto was keeping score, and Motoki and Naru were still on the verge of giving in. Usagi clucked her tongue to herself; she was about to tell them that resistance was futile when Ami interrupted her train of thought.

"You're lucky Luna isn't present to hear that comment. I'm sure she'd love to set you straight on that."

Usagi waved a hand dismissively. "Ah, Luna won't admit it, but she knows she's been wrong before. After all, she woke me to be Sailor Moon (and to add insult, when we regained our memories she said she only did that because thinking I was Princess Serenity was too traumatizing!)." Usagi huffed again, but this time good-naturedly to show that she knew Luna had only been joking. She paused before giving her final piece of evidence.

"And wasn't Luna the one who originally thought Mamo-chan was our enemy? That he was after the Silver Moon Crystal for his own 'shifty purposes'. But I knew my Mamo-chan better than that. Even if he was really just Mamoru-baka then," Usagi nodded her head emphatically and sagely.

"Oh, Usagi." Ami shook her head again.

So what did you think about the video?" Usagi asked when everybody had left. They were standing on opposite sides of the room; she next to the bedside table pulling out tissues and he near the dresser unbuttoning his shirt.

"It was a nice idea. It was sweet of them to do that," Mamoru said cordially.

Usagi frowned inwardly. It sounded like a practiced answer, the fake answer he gave his boss when running late to work, or the answer he gave to Motoki when he didn't feel like going out. That was the answer her was supposed to give anyone but her.

"Really?" Usagi said, schooling her features into an innocent expression, then lowering her voice to a playful whisper, "for a second there I almost thought you looked mortified."

Mamoru laughed weakly. "Usako, sometimes you say the funniest things…"

"You're right," Usagi smiled at him, making sure it was extra bright. "I don't know what made me think that."

There was a short pause in the room, as if Pluto had accidentally waved her staff and frozen time. Usagi waited for Mamoru to say something, and Mamoru waited for her to continue. Neither knew what they wanted to say. Usagi thought that even if she did know what she wanted to tell Mamoru, and what she wanted Mamoru to tell her, they probably wouldn't say it anyway.

Silence, after all, is golden and they weren't there to break any rules.

It was early next morning, rather than night like Mamoru had predicted, that Usagi snuck a peek at the next message. Mamoru smiled wryly when he caught his almost-wife red-handed with the remote control.

"Good morning," he said, not hiding his small grin.

"Eh…" Usagi's ears turned pink and reminded him of all the times he'd seen her mid-chew with cheeks puffing out like cartoon chipmunks. "Morning."

"What are you doing up so early?" Mamoru raised his eyebrows. "It's only eight in the morning. This is a good sign-maybe we will get to the church on time after all. It'd be embarrassing for me to have to explain to everyone that I wasn't yet some poor jilted fiancé." If he had been watching Usagi's face more closely he would have seen the flush that imperceptibly colored her cheeks and then disappear, but sometimes his good humor blinded Mamoru to deeper feelings.

Usagi looked at him, then Makoto's frozen face on the television screen, then back again. "I was… checking the order?" She tried. "You know, so I can… make a fair judgment for the next video."

He shook his head and sighed. "Bet Motoki's wishing he'd kept his new video camera to himself now." Mamoru smiled slightly, sat down beside Usagi and carefully took her hand--like the night before--and plucked the remote from her other. "Only one more," he said sternly, "as soon as the next person comes up we'll stop the tape."

"Okay," Usagi said compliantly, and in reply Mamoru pressed play.

"Shh!" Makoto started, a finger held to her lips mischievously. "Rei doesn't know that I snuck in before her."

Usagi and Mamoru stared in surprise at the picture that met them. It was strange to see Makoto so… untidy. Sure, she'd once been the girl who got into a lot of fights, but even then Makoto was always one to value cleanliness above everything else. Now she was still cheerful enough--or more, possibly--but she was gasping for breath and half her ponytail had come undone, her auburn hair tousled and hanging over one eye.

"Bet you know what I'm going to say," Makoto winked. "First: Mamoru."

Mamoru's breath caught in his throat. If there was anybody in this world that he'd learnt to be afraid of (besides Metallia, the Dark Moon Family, Chaos, and every other evil entity they'd come up against) it was Usagi's friends. He'd had a nightmare once, the vividly violent images courtesy of Rei and Makoto.

"See this?" They could hear her strong voice, but only muffled, and the screen was only a light orange or beige color that Mamoru quickly recognized as Makoto's fingers clenched into a fist. "If you ever hurt Usagi in any way, shape, or form, this will be the last thing you ever see." The hand moved away to reveal Makoto's smiling face again, although Mamoru could still see the truth of her statement. Usagi really did have a tight support group in her friends. "Just kidding!" she proclaimed.

From beside him Usagi shook with almost horrified mirth. "I can't believe she said that!" She giggled. "I never knew Makoto to be like that about anything. Well, except for that time Urawa was attacked…" Usagi shot him a sideways glance to see if he remembered his involvement. His eyes didn't reveal it, but Mamoru rarely forget things (except when his memory was deliberately tampered with). He'd learnt that memories were sacred, but perhaps it was what he'd learnt from his memories that was important. But his expression under Usagi's gaze didn't reveal much.

"Now that that's out of the way…" Makoto clasped her hands together. "I know I won't need threats because I know I won't need them. You two are going to make it; I can feel it. There's just no other way. Everything obstacle you've faced, you've beat it. Something inside me just knows that your life together will be perfect. Don't ever change, okay?"

The screen faded out on Makoto's face, an inky black spreading across the screen to leave behind an emptiness of something that used to be.

The moonlight shone down on the two lovers, beams glittering in Serenity's hair and bouncing off Endymion's eyes. It was their first time on Earth together and there was something strange about it. Serenity didn't have much experience with the inhabitants of her fiancé's planet, but there was something about the way they looked at her that scared her. Endymion hadn't noticed, probably taking her apprehension as a sign that she was worried about how his generals and best friends would take to her. She had yet to meet them, and truthfully she was more than a little uneasy about that as well.

"Don't worry," Endymion said, gently brushing a wayward lock of hair behind Serenity's ear. "They'll adore you. You are such a beautiful person; even a blind man can see that. How could anyone resist such a wonderful person like you?"

"Oh Endy," Serenity sighed from within the circle of his embrace. Somehow the sound of his voice had cast a spell on her, and his words affected her like pure magic. "Do you really mean that?"

Endymion smiled down at her, the only woman in the world with the power to save his immortal soul. "Now that I've found you, I'd rather die than be without. Serenity, don't you know by now how much I love you?"

"So, Usagi said, elbowing Mamoru's stomach lightly. "You following my bodyguards' orders? I hear they have no problem resorting to violent methods when provoked."

"Looks like I have to, don't I? You don't want this pretty face getting damaged, do you?" Mamoru said playfully.

"You're right." Usagi sniffed. "I'm just marrying you for your looks after all, and if you had an ugly mug I'd run off with your better looking friend before you could say 'I am Tuxedo Kamen!' But then again, in comparison I would look like a goddess-" She yelped as Mamoru pulled her down swiftly to lie beside him on the couch.

"You are a goddess," he said.

"Really?" she smiled.

"Inside and out, Usako. You're so beautiful."

Usagi snuggled in his arms. There were times like these when their relationship felt like nothing else in the world. "Thank you," she said shyly. "It means a lot to me that you feel that way."

"Oh, Usako," he murmured. "Don't you know by now how much I care about you?"

The bridal boutique was a store Usagi used to frequent, if only on the other side of the glass to see the beautiful gowns. She'd been inside more than ten times in the past six months now, but every time it still felt like being a stranger in somebody else's home. She supposed it was the dream of marrying the one she loved that seemed surreal rather than being surrounded by so many bridal gowns.

The sun was slowly setting as Usagi entered the store for her final fitting before the wedding. Each time her dress had to be adjusted slightly at the waist, hips, and chest. The woman told her it was completely normal--most brides lose weight before the wedding due to stress--but Usagi felt uneasy as she ran her fingers over the satin of the gown that was slowly whittling away into nothing.

"I'll have this altered by the big day, don't you worry!" Hatsue said through the pins she held between her teeth.

"Thank you, Hatsue." Usagi smiled. She imagined this dress probably had cost Hatsue a lot of time with all the alterations that had to be done.

"The countdown is getting really close now, isn't it?" Hatsue said. "Only two days to go. Has your father gotten used to the idea yet?"

Usagi laughed a little at the thought of her poor father-no, poor mother. Ikuko was probably having hard time convincing Kenji that, no, their daughter was not 'being forced into this sham of a marriage by a couple of hoodlums.' "He's getting there."

"He's probably just worried that he might not make it down the aisle to give you away."

"He's probably counting on that," Usagi said dryly.

Both women turned around as the bell by the door chimed softly, indicating another customer had come in.

"Hello Hatsue!" the women who just entered called gaily. "We chose our wedding rings today, isn't that exciting?"

"Already!" Hatsue exclaimed. "But you only got engaged two weeks ago!"

"Yes, but we saw the perfect rings and just knew. It was like how I knew Teka was the one for me. You know how sometimes you just know?"

"No, no luck yet. Prince Charming is still sitting on his horse somewhere," Hatsue said. "But Usagi does, don't you? Usagi, this is Megumi, another bride to be. Megumi, Usagi."

"Hi!" Megumi said happily. "You know, ever since I got engaged I've met so many other women getting married. Isn't that strange?"

"I think we just notice them more," Usagi grinned. Megumi's excitement was contagious. Usagi wondered briefly if she'd been like that when Mamoru first asked her to marry him. "Like we're part of that elite club now or something."

"And we all trade stories about how they popped the question. Teka took me back to a small café in New York to propose because that's where we first met. He booked out the entire place and even found the man who served us to be there again even though he doesn't work there anymore! And Teka was saying he just wanted to take me with him on a business trip! He's such a romantic."

Usagi smiled at the story. "You love him very much."

"Is it that obvious?"

"I can tell. And from what you've just told me I think he feels exactly the same way." Usagi blinked quickly and stood up from her seat. "I have to get going, the cake store closes in fifteen minutes and if I don't get there in time they'll probably let the thing melt! It was nice to meet you Megumi. Good bye, Hatsue!"

"Bye Usagi!" Hatsue replied.

"Hey," Megumi said as Usagi was halfway out the door. "You didn't tell me how your fiancé proposed!" She shrugged in puzzlement and turned back to Hatsue. "She seemed nice."

"Yes," Hatsue replied, "but I keep telling her she has to eat more."

The tape ran for almost a solid minute before Rei spoke. "Usagi, we're like sisters, you and I. I take care of you, and you take care of me. You were my friend when nobody else was, and you're still my best friend now."

Usagi stared at the image of Rei, the light from the television screen flickering across the darkened room. Mamoru was probably sleeping soundly now, and normally she could match him in any situation whether it was a neighbor's party or war, but tonight she felt restless. Sleep, although she waited, did not come.

"All of us have been told at some point that we are destined to be someone, that we are destined for certain things. Over the past week I've come to a realization: I don't believe in that. Maybe it just makes me feel better, but I like the idea that nothing is set in stone and if we want to we could change it all. You and Mamoru aren't together because you are destined to be. You are together because you choose to be, because you love each other, and that is stronger than anything that a prophecy can say. What you have is real, and I can think of no one else who deserves it more than you."

The tears were sliding down her face before Usagi realized it, and before she knew exactly why they came. The rain trickling down outside and against the windows helped her pretend that she wasn't crying. She wasn't crying. If she was crying it was because she was happy. Rei always knew how to make her cry.

Then suddenly, Naru appeared on the screen.

"Usagi-chan, you're living out our dream!" She squealed. Usagi smiled at the familiar sight of the redhead. Of all her friends, Naru was the one who had changed the least; she still has the exuberance for life that she always had. She represented a part of Usagi's past that still lingered in the present.

Naru's enthusiasm reminded Usagi of Megumi, the girl she had met at Hatsue's shop. Her smile faded slightly.

"Oh, by the way, Mamoru, you might want to skip the next few minutes. You might be a little scared." Naru giggled. "Usa, remember when we were little and we used to imagine what our wedding would be like? In a big church with a beautiful dress and on the arm of a hunky man! And now you've got it, but only better because not only is he nice to look at, he loves you and makes you happy (oh, if only he had a cousin or something…).

"I can just see it now: you and Mamoru standing in front of your house with a white picket fence, golden retriever and 2.4 kids. A girl, a boy, and another on the way. Oh, I'm so jealous, Usagi! Everything we've ever dreamt of is coming true for you! The way he looks at you and how you look at him… it's so romantic! And now for the real message," Naru paused. "Eh, congratulations!" She laughed again. "Sorry, Mamoru. Maybe next time you'll get a longer bit."

She stopped the tape.

Usagi liked to think of herself as somebody who had a firm grasp on truth, but it was becoming clear to her that truth wasn't really there until all the lies were unravelled. And now that everything was coming apart, she was afraid of letting it all go. It was hard to come to terms with the fact that something she had based her entire life upon was only real in the past, distorted by time and the people she and Mamoru had become.

The rain pounded heavily at the windows, the wind howling behind it as Usagi closed her eyes.

Dreams were wonderful things.

It was strange how things worked out, Mamoru thought. He used to wonder about how his life would turn out, how life with Usagi would be, and it was strange that it was going exactly how he had pictured it. They were getting married. He was a first-year resident at Tokyo Hospital, she was a kindergarten teacher, and they were getting married. He'd promised her that, long ago, and Mamoru was not one to break promises. He prided himself on taking duty very seriously.

"Got kicked out the house again, huh?" Motoki asked. He no longer worked at the Crown Arcade, but they'd all spent so much time there in the past that daily visits was a hard habit to break. "Usagi-chan doing some last minute preparations with the girls?"

Mamoru remembered how he'd woken up from his nap to find two green-faced monsters, only to burst into laughter a second later when he realized the monsters were really just his fiancée's friends in facial masks. Then Usagi had forcibly dressed him and kicked him out of their apartment with a wallet and his comb. "Yeah," he laughed a little, "something like that."

"So it's getting real close to the big day," Motoki nudged his friend. "Scared? Pre-wedding jitters? Cold feet?"

"Are you trying to make me nervous?"

"Nah." Motoki shrugged, "besides, I don't think there's anything I can say that will make you nervous. Remember? You were the college kid with the nerves of steel."

"You make me sound so cold hearted," Mamoru said, disgruntled.

"That's because you are, my friend. If it weren't for Usagi you'd probably grow old and live in a stinky apartment with twenty cats."

"I've had enough of cats in this lifetime. And stop giving me a bad reputation! I saw your message in the video! First I'm 'the guy who got lucky', 'the guy who Usako felt sorry for', cold hearted, and now I'm a nut job spinster?"

"You might as well be." Motoki leaned closer and lowered his voice to a serious tone. "Honestly, Mamoru, sometimes I think that you're just going through motions. Let your feelings be in control once in a while. If I didn't know better I could almost say that you and Usagi are just pretending." Motoki leaned back, and prayed that Mamoru would take what he had just said as friendly advice and not a direct insult, and that in two seconds he would still have a nose.

Mamoru stayed silent for a moment, Motoki's words hitting him hard. There were things he never let himself think about, much less verbalize. How could he tell Motoki that he didn't know if he really wanted this wedding, this marriage? Sometimes he wondered if it weren't for his dreams and her cat, would they still be on this path? Or would they be somewhere else, someplace worse or someplace better? The pull he felt towards her, it was strong but that didn't mean that it wasn't altogether right. Their past was not their own. Their love was dictated and detached of choice. Sometimes he wondered if he really knew Usagi, or if he really even knew himself.

"I think I might have been too hasty in asking Usako to marry me." Mamoru said quietly. "It's not that I don't love her--I do. We're soul mates and I've known that for a long time. It's hard to explain but it's like a part of me is always pulled in her direction. I can't stop it, but… it's only a part of me. There's a part of me that I know could let go and never look back without even trying."

"Are you saying that you want to call it off?"

"Something's telling me that if I let Usako go it will be the biggest mistake of my life. She can save me, but then am I doing this for purely selfish reasons? I want her, but I don't know if I need her. I don't know if I need her and I don't want to lose her trying to find out."

"If you want my advice," Motoki said, "talk to her. You'll work it out. You always do. Just don't let this get in the way of your relationship. Don't just pretend that if you ignore it it'll go away because it won't."

"You're right," Mamoru agreed. He decided that he would talk to Usako that night. He left then and found himself driving home, and not before long in front of the apartment building.

He felt different now, after telling all that to Motoki, like the ground he walked on now had shifted. Mamoru wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing; nothing had been released, but rather bubbles had risen to the surface and were yet to penetrate the thick film. Something had changed, and stepping into their apartment he felt a coming finality. A choice that was foreign, that someone would have to make.

It was only fitting that Mina was the last to take the stage, the Senshi of love to give the grand finale.

"Bet you're thinking I'm going to give a really long speech about love and the importance of it, huh?" Mina winked. "Actually, I was going to, but since everybody took so long and Rei paused for a whole five minutes," Mina glared off screen, "I'm going to have to make this short. Let this be a declaration!" She said grandly, her arms in a sweeping gesture. "Your wedding will be perfect. Your life together will be perfect." Mina quieted down, "You are like role models to me, and proof that even the future Neo-Queen and King can find that special thing everybody is looking for. And you give me hope because if you can do it, maybe someday I will find the one I love too."

Bile churned in her stomach and rose in her throat, yet somehow she kept it all down. Usagi looked at Mamoru, she looked up at the man she had been destined to love for an eternity, and saw only parts of him through a screen door. Usagi saw Mamoru only through a screen door called Endymion.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked sweetly, the words he had spoken to Motoki resounding through her mind. He didn't know if he wanted to marry her. He didn't know if he'd asked her for any reason other than the fact that he felt he should, the fact that a corner of his soul called out to a corner of hers. In his future he could see himself living with her in their beautiful, white picket fenced house, he'd confessed, but he could just as easily see himself without. He loved her, but didn't know her.

Lie to me.

Tell me that you love me…

Make us real.

The fingers of uncertainty and desperation tickled at the edges of the wide smile pasted across her face.

Usagi watched as Mamoru hesitated for a short moment, then relaxing easily as something that could pass for contentment settled across his face.

"I was just thinking about how perfect out wedding tomorrow is going to be."

They stood on the balcony, holding onto the despondent hope that somehow they would survive this, that they would find each other again. Serenity kept her eyes tightly shut; it distanced herself and her love from the coming battle. It let her pretend that they were only another boy and girl in love, and not a prince and princess who had known all their life that love was second to duty.

"Serenity," Endymion said softly, the air shifting from his lips touching wisps of her hair. He cupped her cheek with one hand and tilted her chin so that he could see into her eyes. "There is evil searching us; I can feel it in my bones. I do not know how this will end, but I want you to know that no matter what happens you will always be the keeper of my heart."

"I know," she whispered brokenly, kissing the open palm of his hand. "And you will always be the keeper of mine."

And then the sun drifted behind the mottled blue and green planet called Earth, and the moon was enveloped in darkness.

Later that night, when she was alone, Usagi dreamt that she was at the door to Mamoru's heart but she could not unlock it. Usagi looked down and was surprised to find the key glinting still in the palm of her hand was not the key to his, but the key to her own that she had never given away.

Author's Notes

A Lyric Wheel submission to the song Hate This Place by Goo Goo Dolls and theme "A Sorta Fairytale."