Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Touch ❯ Touch 11 ( Chapter 11 )
MarshAngel watsonma@hotmail.com
http://angelmoon.sinfree.net
Rated R-NC17
Disclaimer: standard i.e.: no claim of ownership has or will be made
I know it's been a long time and I apologize for that. I have sort of made it up with this long and final chapter. I hope it doesn't disappoint anyone but I'd understand if you are I'm not sure if I'm quite happy with it. But I am happy to have it done. Thanks again for the reviews and... enjoy.
Touch
Chapter 11
Usagi wandered the streets aimlessly, thinking at times and at others just walking with seemingly no thoughts whatsoever going through her head. Saying goodbye to her parents was the most difficult thing she'd ever had to do and the tears had yet to dry on her face. She didn't think she could face another goodbye, not to her friends.
She envisioned the scene in her head where she would have each and everyone in the same room and try to explain to them that she was leaving them. Even in her own mind she couldn't come up with a single scenario where she didn't become hysterical with the tears or where they would accept her choice.
At the moment she didn't think she could face them. How did she say goodbye to friends she'd known for more time than she had actually been alive on this planet? There was just no way to face them.
As always, when she was upset and mindlessly wandering the streets as she occasionally did at two in the morning, she found herself near the park. There was something comforting about this place that drew her there which was ironic in a way because it had been the site of so many battles. Perhaps it was the very reason that every battle fought there had been won and the lives of numerous innocents had been saved.
Innocents and battles were the last things on her mind however, although perhaps they should be. She sat on the first bench she came across beneath an enormous tree whose branches shadowed a vast area. She pulled up her legs and wrapped her arms around them, staring emptily at the few people passing before her without really seeing them.
There was nothing she could say to make leaving them easier for her or for them. Perhaps it was best that she didn't at all. After what didn't seem to her, but actually was over an hour of contemplation, she decided on what she termed the coward's way out. She would write a letter rather than be faced with the full effect of their emotions and their efforts to reason with her and convince her of all the reasons she shouldn't do this.
She realized at that moment she had nothing to write with or on, nor had she thought much about what exactly she would say. She stood up from the bench and rifled through the pockets of her jeans for money. She found some and counted it; it was more than enough to buy pen and paper. The last thing she wanted was to go back to her house to get anything. She'd turned her back on that, maybe not forever but certainly for a very long while at least.
Time certainly was an odd thing, she thought as she walked out of the park and into the streets. It seemed so long ago that she had walked into her brother's room and kissed his sleepy cheek goodbye, but it had been not more than an hour or two. By her normal standards the day hadn't even begun. It wasn't even nearing midday as yet.
She walked into the first card and stationary store she came by. It was one she was very familiar with. She'd bought many mother's day cards here as well as numerous birthday cards for her friends. The thought caused tears to well up in her eyes but she wiped them away and forced herself to push the thoughts away. Certainly she could allow herself to cry a little but she didn't need to be questioned by anyone.
She walked into the back of the store where pads of prettily decorated notepaper sat on the shelves. Would she buy cards here ever again? Maybe she was being a bit melodramatic but it seemed every little thing reminded her of something else. She looked through the many varieties before choosing a plain blue set.
"Usagi" the tone was one of surprise and Usagi looked up to see Hisahiko staring at her.
"What are you doing here?" she stuttered.
"Buying you a card," he replied, "but it seems you've emerged from your self-imposed seclusion so…" his voice trailed implying the need for an explanation from her.
How could she possibly explain her disappearance into thin air? She simply stared at him blankly for a good long while until finally he broke the silence.
"Usagi?"
She shook herself from her stupor.
"Sorry. I guess I should try to explain but I don't think I can or maybe it's best that I don't." She turned up her nose, a bit frustrated at not being able to get out what she really wanted to say.
His brow furrowed in confusion, a slight reflection of her expression.
"I know it all seems ridiculous with me standing here in front off you like this, after what happened last night but all I can say is I'm really sorry I ran out on you and ruined everything."
He was silent for a moment as if trying to decide whether to accept her less than satisfactory explanation.
"So did you find him?"
"Huh?"
"Endymion; did you find him?"
Usagi flushed red, hoping he didn't take note of the bruise on her neck.
She wasn't sure if it was the bruise or her face that told him the truth. "I take it you did," he stated simply and she nodded, turning an even deeper shade of red than she thought possible.
The silence between them became extremely uncomfortable and she could feel a chasm between them that hadn't been there before. She felt like the world's greatest ass or perhaps it was a slut she thought of but refused to even acknowledge. She had run out on one man to indulge in the passionate embraces of another.
She inhaled deeply and let it out in an attempt to steel herself against whatever words happened to leave her lips. She wouldn't even begin to know what she would say until the words were spoken aloud.
"Look, Hisahiko," she began twisting her fingers nervously. "I like you, which is why I probably shouldn't have accepted last night's date. I tried to deny it for a long time, longer than you can imagine, but I am in love with someone else. I am really sorry about last night and I think that under other circumstances we might have had a chance but…" There was really nothing more to say and she looked up at him but had no clue what he was thinking he seemed to be just looking at her face.
"Well… I guess I should go." She walked past him towards the cash register but he grabbed hold of her arm as she walked past.
"I'm kind of disappointed," he said with a suitably disappointed expression. "I… I just hope he appreciates what a great person you are. I suppose I'll see you around school, perhaps we could even be friends?"
Usagi nodded. She was tempted to say that he wouldn't be seeing her, that they wouldn't be friends, that this might be the last time he ever saw her, but she didn't.
She walked to the cash register, paid for the paper and a pen and left.
She paused outside the store for a moment, thinking of where she could go to write the letter. She immediately thought of the arcade. She glanced at her watch. It was still early, none of her friends would be up this early and out at their favorite gathering place on a weekend, even though she had a sneaking suspicion Amy might be awake in bed reading some book or the other.
That brought on a wistful thought of her friend. She could easily see Ami reading one of her dog-eared romance novels that she thought no one knew she owned. Having stolen one from her apartment, Usagi knew well that every once in a while, however rare, Ami took a break from studying to read something more interesting.
There was just so much she would miss.
Not too long later she walked into the arcade and was immediately greeted by a surprised Motoki. She watched with mild amusement as he checked his wristwatch and then looked up at the large clock behind the counter before checking his watch a second time.
"Usagi! You're up early" he greeted, with an undeniably surprised look.
She nodded, not quite ready to speak aloud.
"Is there something wrong?" Motoki questioned, frowning at the unrecognizable expression on her face. He hadn't seen her in a while but she'd always been more exuberant than this. As long as he'd known her she'd never been up on a weekend before midday and she'd never seemed as serious as she did now.
She shook her head in negation, but if asked to testify in court he could swear she was lying and that she was holding back tears.
"Then why aren't you talking to me?"
To his surprise and consternation her lips quivered but she said nothing. Instead she just about flung herself at him and hugged him tightly. He was baffled but held her close, rubbing her back as her tears soaked his shirt.
They stood that way for a long time.
To his surprise when eventually her sniffles died away she pulled away from him and smiled.
He raised a questioning eyebrow.
She sniffled, smiling with a little embarrassment as she eyed the wet spot on his dusky red shirt.
"Sorry I made a mess on your shirt."
He shrugged it off as inconsequential. "Care to tell me what that was about?"
"I just realized how much I'm going to miss you and this place and all my friends."
"Going somewhere?"
"Something like that."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm leaving," she replied simply.
"Where to? Are you moving away?"
How did she answer that question and sound reasonable? 'I'm getting married? I'm moving to a new dimension?' Nothing sounded plausible so she came up with a lie.
"I'm going away to school."
"Wow!"
She hated lying but she had good reason like she'd had all the times she'd lied before.
"Where to?"
"Some private school in America, I haven't even looked closely at the name. I think it's in Connecticut she said nonchalantly," pronouncing the name carefully of the unfamiliar place she'd seen in one of the brochures. Unfortunately she couldn't remember the name of the school at the moment but it had been the first one to come to her mind.
"Wow", he repeated in surprise. "That's amazing. You're going away to another country without your family and friends?"
"Way to make it easier for me Motoki," she teased.
"Sorry. I'm just surprised. I just didn't think you'd ever leave your friends to go to school. It's something of a shock."
"I know," she whispered sadly. "I don't really want to leave them either, but this is important to me and I need to do this. It's not like I'll never see them again."
"Yeah I suppose so," he said thoughtfully. "There'll be vacations and holidays."
Usagi winced. There would be neither of those, but she supposed she'd have to make an effort to see them.
"Well I have a letter to write, so I'm going to go sit."
"Do you want anything?" he asked.
She thought for a moment and decided she might never have another chance.
"Burger, fries and a milkshake," she announced with a smile.
Motoki grinned at the familiarity of the order. "Be ready in a few," he replied.
Usagi sat in an empty booth. The place was nearly empty. It had only just opened and most of its youthful patrons were still abed. It occurred to her now that Motoki was probably doing her favor by firing up the grill this early. Normal people ate breakfast at this time of the day.
She chewed on the end of her pen as she stared at the blue pad. How would she begin? What would she say? How could anything she wrote be enough to counter the inevitable disappointment and sense of betrayal she knew her friends would feel?
She started writing, not really thinking so much as letting all her feelings flow unto the paper:
First let me say that I'm sorry, not for what I'm about to do, but for the effects it will have on you. I can only hope you will someday understand my decision and hate me less. That is, I'd rather you not hate me at all, but if you do, I understand.
She paused and stared out the window. The city was beginning to come alive. She turned her attention back to her writing, momentarily stuck. She needed to finish before the world woke up and she was forced to deal with her problems in person.
I'm leaving to be with Endymion. I went on a date last night with someone else and it made me realize that for weeks now I've been fighting what I think even you already knew. I love him more than even I could ever imagine. I know it seems sudden, thoughtless, and reckless and maybe it is but I have to do this. I have to know that I followed my heart even if it ends in disaster, (and it won't because he loves me as much as I love him) because I didn't take this chance before.
Last time I chose duty over love. It's a rare thing to get to undo your mistakes… well I can't say with total confidence it was a mistake. Perhaps duty had its time and now is the time to give us a chance.
I know this decision is selfish on so many levels but I know with all confidence that you will be ok without me. In a way I feel like I'm giving up a piece of my heart to gain another but I want you to know that in my heart I'll never really leave you guys.
Maybe I won't be there physically but you'll always be in my heart. It's the reason I'm writing this letter, because I couldn't stand to see your faces and tell you goodbye all at once. So I just won't. This is officially NOT a goodbye letter. I've said one goodbye, to my parents and it was the most painful thing I've ever done. I won't do it again.
I'll just have to say I'll see you again someday. I promise.
Love, Always
Usagi
Ps. Rei, Makoto, don't get it into your heads that I'm being coerced or that my decisions can't be trusted. This is really what I want.
Usagi looked up from her writing. Some of the younger kids, her brother's age and a few older ones had already began to come into the arcade. She hadn't realized so much time had passed. It had taken quite a while to carefully decide on each word and she'd crossed out so many words that the page had been a mess and she'd been forced to rewrite it all and then she'd gotten oil from her fries all over that sheet and she'd had to rewrite yet again.
She'd thought the letter would have been longer, that there was more to be said, but when she'd begun to write she realized making excuses, for her choice, trying to commit every memory of her times with her friends to paper, was unnecessary. She knew what she wanted and they remembered the wonderful moments they'd shared just as well as she did. And this wouldn't be goodbye, she promised herself.
She gulped down the last of her milkshake and tried to decide where to leave the note. Could she trust Motoki not to read it if she gave it to him to give one of the girls?
She folded the letter carefully and strolled over to the counter. Motoki gave her immediate attention as the arcade and restaurant was still relatively quiet and he had few customers.
"Could you do me a favor Motoki?"
"Sure. What is it?"
"If any of my friends come in here could you give this to one of them? You know, Ami, Makoto, Rei or Minako. Anyone will do."
He gave her a curious, questioning look.
"Don't you think it would be easier to give it to them yourself?"
She didn't attempt to explain. Instead she gave him a wide innocent smile, the likes of which he hadn't seen in a long time. It was the kind of bright smile that was utterly disarming and he couldn't help but smile in return.
"Please?" it was such a winning expression he couldn't help but grin and nod.
"I'm going to miss you Usagi," he stated. "You were definitely one of my more delightful customers."
"I'm going to miss you too Motoki."
"I hope this new school is good for you."
"I know it will be," she answered, referring to life with Endymion instead of the lie she'd invented for Motoki's benefit.
She was surprised when Motoki kissed her lightly on the forehead.
"Good luck Usagi," he wished as she waved a goodbye.
She would miss him too. She'd had a crush on him since she'd been old enough to understand the concept. Somehow the childish desire to shower him with kisses on a daily basis had faded somewhat when the stress level in her life had increased. But strangely, it felt good to be reminded of all that now.
Usagi wandered the city aimlessly for a while hoping she wouldn't run into anyone. She familiarized herself again with the sights of the city, burning them into her memory permanently. She thought briefly that she probably shouldn't look so wistfully upon all the things she would miss and she forcibly pushed away her nostalgic thoughts. It was better to focus on the peaceful emerald green hills covered with enormous forests, in that world where dusky blue mountains rose to touch the sky and colorful birds flew overhead.
There was something exciting about a whole new world, untouched by the industrialism that seemed to be the very foundation of her own world. Endymion's world was even more innocent and new in many ways than that of even the Silver millennium. She had to admit that although the very thought of venturing into something so very different from anything she'd ever known scared her; but part of her reveled in the idea. It would just be her and Endymion facing all the trials that life would toss at them and she knew innately that with him beside her she would be o.k.
She was scared of being responsible. She was wary of facing and being Queen to a group of people who had been through so much pain. She was scared of having to grow up but life hadn't given her a choice before at least this one would be hers.
She walked until her feet ached. She knew it was time. The sun was high overhead now. She looked around for the watchful and curious eyes of passersby before entering a quiet side street. She glanced around, as much to make sure she was alone, as to catch a final glimpse of the city that had once been her home. She pressed herself up against the cool wall of the building, took a deep breath, gathering the enormous amount of power it required, concentrated hard and disappeared.
"Ami! Get over here now?"
"Where is here and why?" Ami whispered, instantly worried at the sound of Rei's anxious voice over her communicator. She'd gone to the library early in the morning to return her books and get more just so that she could have the rest of the day free for the social demands of her friends. But no one had searched her out so she had gotten lost in a book and before she'd known it hours had passed and midday had come and gone.
"I'm at the arcade. Something terrible has happened"
"Was there an attack?" Ami replied hurriedly, trying her best to remain calm.
"No. Usagi's gone!"
"Gone?"
"Yes, gone," Rei snapped back, with an expression on her face that curiously resembled panic.
"Gone where?"
"I don't know. Just get over here already!"
Ami sighed and snapped the over of the small communicator shut. It wasn't that she wasn't concerned. In fact she breathed something of a sigh of relief when Rei said there was no attack. The idea of Usagi being gone, however, for some odd reason did not panic her.
Recently Usagi had been so different, so adult. If something had happened she could take care of herself. More importantly though, she didn't get this sense of danger or urgency, not that that should have really meant anything, but instinct did account for something. It was naïve to deny the possibility that humans maintained some of their primal instincts.
It was entirely possible that Rei was overreacting to Usagi taking some time out to be alone. She had a lot on her mind after all and she hadn't seemed to be the type of girl who ran for a shoulder to cry on every time something went wrong…. not anymore anyway. Besides, Rei was always a bit melodramatic, particularly when it came to Usagi.
Ami packed up her things and actually took the time out to check out the books she had gathered before she left the library. She thought amusedly with a twisted bit of inner humor that there was technically no rush. If Usagi were really missing then she'd have to be gone at least twenty-four hours before the police could do anything about it. And if not the police, then it would take them at least just as long to get the slightest clue where she could have gone.
"I can't believe she'd do something like this!" Rei snapped. "And where the hell is Ami? You'd think when I told her our best friend and princess disappeared off the face of the earth she'd get here a little bit sooner."
Rei was actually pacing the aisle by the booths but not for long because Makoto, who had been rushed from her breakfast/lunch, grabbed her arm and pulled her down roughly into the cushiony chair.
"Say 'Princess' a little louder why don't you?" Makoto snapped.
"Well chances are people will just think she's insane or in love with Usagi," Minako pointed out. I'm leaning towards insane."
Minako actually leaned back in her seat away from Rei who sat across from her, when the priestess actually growled at her. If the situation weren't so serious she might have been laughing loudly. But Usagi really was gone.
Ami walked in just then and Minako was secretly thankful. Ami always had a way of making everyone around her calmer.
Ami looked over at the tense group of three as she walked in. She couldn't quite decipher the meaning behind their expressions. Across the room, Andrew kept looking over at the group with a curious expression on his face.
"I'm here," Ami announced as she slid into the booth next to Minako.
Makoto slid Usagi's letter across the table and they allowed her to read what they had already read earlier. Ami's eyes went wide at the words that seemed to be written in Usagi's neatest handwriting.
She really was gone. Ami could hardly believe it and the constant nagging question of 'why' sang loudly in her head. From the little that she knew of Endymion, he was controlling, dangerous, and manipulative. Usagi might not have been a member of MENSA but certainly she knew better than to go back into what seemed to be a less than healthy relationship with a man whose current status was far from definable particularly on the subject of morality and whose character was very much in question. The image of him holding Usagi against him and touching her came to mind and once again the question of 'why' came back.
How could she trust him? Was love really that blind? Ami had never been angrier with her friend or more scared for her in her life.
"How could she do something so stupid!"? Ami snapped out loud, surprising her friends.
"Finally!" Rei agreed, equally vehement; "someone who sees logic."
"Endymion is completely untrustworthy, possibly dangerous…" Ami's rant faded a bit but Rei picked up right where she left off.
"Not to mention that she's completely neglecting her duties. How exactly does she expect us to fight without her?" A needling little memory pushed forth from the back of her mind reminding her of the words she'd said to Usagi only a few weeks ago. When Usagi had questioned what would occur should something happen to one of them and she had replied: "Then the rest will keep fighting…" Funny how much easier it was to say it when it hadn't actually happened. She shoved the thought aside.
Minako intruded on her rant. "Maybe we should just have some faith that she knows what she's doing."
"Her track record for making good decisions isn't all that great," Rei snapped back.
"Guys she is our princess don't you think we should trust her?" Makoto defended.
"How can we trust a decision that takes her protection out of the hands of the people whose very destiny is to guard her safety, and places it in the hands of a man we know nothing about, have no reason to trust, and we have no idea what he plans to do or where he's taken her," Ami stated in a restrained tone. "We are powerless to do anything if the decision she made is the wrong one. She has done the ultimate. She's out of sight, out of reach and very nearly defenseless. We won't even know if anything goes wrong."
Everyone was silent as they truly came to terms with the enormity of Usagi's choice. Had she realized as much when she'd made it. Had she even weighed the consequences of her actions?
"I guess, for once, we'll just have to trust her," Makoto said quietly
"Welcome back," a voice whispered in her ear as the room steadied before her. She leaned back knowing he would catch her. She was tired. In the past two days she had expended so much energy all she wanted to do was sleep.
"You're tired," he stated knowingly.
She sighed quietly in response. "I'm all yours," she whispered.
"As you should be." He lifted her easily and returned her to the bed. He lay beside her for a moment. "I have some things to take care of but I'll be back later. Sleep for now and I'll wake you later and we'll talk."
"Ok," she conceded. Only moments later she fell asleep and he left the room quietly.
Usagi woke up to the sensation of being watched. When she opened her eyes, she was immediately faced with Endymion's eyes staring down at her.
"Hi," she whispered casually. He chuckled a bit before rolling away and off the bed. She sat up and looked around. The curtains had remained open since he'd pulled them aside earlier that morning and the sun was beginning to set. She guessed that she'd been sleeping for about five or six hours.
"I brought you something," he announced.
"Is it edible?"
"Not unless you happen to like eating cloth."
"I just might. I could eat anything at this point."
"Then I suppose it's a good thing that I brought some food as well." He gestured to the side of the bed where a large tray of bread, fruit, and cheeses sat on a small table. She immediately headed towards it.
"You're the only woman I've ever known who thinks of food first and clothing next."
"I have my priorities straight," she replied.
"I agree. I would think you'd like to see this however."
Curiosity aroused, she grabbed a bunch of grapes and walked over to where he stood across the room. In his hands he held a heavy gown. She immediately recognized the style as one of the old Earth Kingdom. It was beautiful.
She touched the richly embroidered fabric, feeling the dark raised flowers and vines in the silky red material. The edges were trimmed in dark red satin and the belt that resembled a textured obi would wrap her waist beneath her breasts was made of rows of dark red silky braided ropes. Over the chair rested the white embroidered cotton shift that she would wear beneath the heavy embroidered gown that was cut quite unlike anything else she'd ever owned or worn.
It had wide-open sleeves like a kimono and a wide low neckline that allowed the top of the shift to peek above it and show off a good deal of cleavage. Halfway down the front of the gown opened once again to show the shift beneath.
"How did you get this?" she questioned. Certainly a gown from that long forgotten time couldn't have survived this long.
"It's a replica of my mother's wedding gown. I found a remnant of the fabric in a trunk. I had it reproduced. It's not exact but it's close."
"It's beautiful," she whispered in awe.
He said nothing but she could see he was enormously pleased.
She had only seen one similar to it before. Once, when she'd stolen a moment away from the moon to be with Endymion, she'd found him in the midst of preparations to attend the wedding of a relative. She'd hidden and watched as the bride and groom completed the bonding ceremony and she'd been awed by it. It was a solemn ceremony, as Earth wedding's usually were, but the bride's outfit was a bright celebratory blue-green that matched the groom's sash. It was nothing like the few wedding ceremonies she'd been privileged to attend anywhere else.
As the Moon Kingdom had set trends in all areas for the rest of the solar system, white had been the popular color for bride, groom, and guests alike. It was beautiful in its own way but it had none of the spirit and vibrancy of an Earth wedding. The solemnity of the ceremony of course gave way to a lively party filled with music, laughter, and life and she'd wished she could have been a part of that. Now was her chance to experience that and she pushed away the needling thought that her friends should be here for this
"I was hoping you would like it. I wasn't sure if you'd want to do a traditional Moon Kingdom wedding and I'm not particularly familiar with the current practices. I was hoping… well I thought that perhaps… well I probably should ask…"
Usagi was stunned. 'This' he was insecure about? It was charming, utterly disarming, and almost unbelievable. It was so incongruous with the overall image he presented. She couldn't help but smile.
"Would a traditional Earth ceremony be ok with you?" He finally got out.
Usagi grinned widely. "Of course. I remember when your cousin got married. It was wonderful. It's exactly what I want."
He looked enormously relieved.
"We can do the bonding tomorrow" He stated simply.
"Tomorrow!" she very nearly screeched in surprise. It was all happening so fast.
"Is it too soon?" He asked.
"I just thought that I'd have time to prepare, to meet people and see things. I can't be a queen tomorrow. I need to know things about the people who are here about my duties. What if the gown doesn't fit or I can't walk in it? If I trip and fall on my face everyone will hate me…"
"Relax, Rena," he placated. "I'm not asking you to be a queen tomorrow. Tomorrow is for us. The coronation can wait until you're ready."
"But this is an important day. I want everything to be perfect."
"And it will be. Things are being prepared as we speak."
She sighed inaudibly. Things were moving so fast, changing in a dozen different ways. Was it just yesterday that she had been getting ready for a date with Hisahiko? It seemed like days, perhaps even weeks since yesterday. How did her life change so much?
She remembered a few months ago she had been lying on the floor of Rei's room giggling like a little girl with her friends. Everything had been so simple, well as compared to the way things were now anyway. Now she was getting married. It was insane. In the failure of any other of reaction, she laughed.
"What do you find so amusing?" Endymion asked.
"This is all so insane. I'm getting married!" She laughed a bit more. It wasn't a laugh filled with humor. It was a little nervous, a tone higher than was normal for her and dosed with a healthy amount of fear.
He looked at her with a somewhat questioning expression on his face, but said nothing.
"So, try it on," he commanded after a short while.
She turned her back to him for a moment before turning around with and imperious expression on her face.
"Get out!" she demanded, as though she were talking to the lowest servant she could imagine.
"Excuse me?" he sat up on his elbows looking up at her.
"I'm going to try on this gown."
"I'm not stopping you." He leaned back in a relaxing pose and waited. Of course any opportunity to see her naked was a good one. She rolled her eyes.
"There is a tradition, a modern one. The groom shouldn't see the bride before the wedding or in her wedding gown."
"It's too late for both," he responded. "I'm looking at you now and I've seen the dress."
"But you haven't seen me in it, so out with you."
He got up from the floor agilely and kissed her on the forehead. "I'm coming back. Don't think you can keep me out of this room for much longer. Your tradition is… insane."
"You're insane," she muttered. "Less than a day to prepare for the most important day in my life."
"Think of it as your first lesson in being a queen," he encouraged as he walked out the door. "You should be prepared for anything."
Fortunately he missed a sudden burst of immaturity as she stuck her tongue out at his back.
Usagi tried on the gown with a bit of difficulty. It was something she would need help getting into tomorrow. She managed to get it on after some struggle and was surprised it fit so well. Apparently when Endymion had the gown replicated he had her in mind. The thought made her smile.
Just thinking about his name with the title husband attached made her grin. She looked down at her chest and was stunned at the amount of cleavage the low neckline exposed; the high braided rope waist had pushed them up for notice. She didn't know she had that much available for viewing. She almost wanted to call him back to the room to see the look on his face but she supposed she could be patient and wait for tomorrow.
She wanted to do a twirl but the narrow skirt with it's longer back hem told her she was more than likely to trip if she tried. She raised her arms to check how well it moved and the long heavy wide sleeves that covered her arms came sliding down. She loved it. It was beautiful.
Usagi awoke to bright light streaming in through wide-open curtains and her fiancée was nowhere to be seen. He had slept beside her last night but the space beside her was now cold. She sat up and frowned.
The confused expression was fleeting and quickly replaced with one of complete surprise. How had she not noticed the single red rose beside her head on the pillow? But that was the least of the grandeur her eyes faced as she looked around the room. It seemed every surface was covered in a rose of some kind in an enormous variety of colors and species.
Somewhere amidst the jungle of roses was a woman standing patiently as if waiting for her to do something. She pulled the sheets up hurriedly covering her nudity, her entire skin surface flushed red.
"No need to be embarrassed your highness," a soft motherly voice said hurriedly. "I'm here to help you prepare for the ceremonies."
Usagi grinned widely. Yes, today was to be the happiest day of her life.
"There is much to be done," the woman continued. "First we must go to the baths and then there's the offering to the 'Great Spirit' and we'll have to skip the offering to the parents since…
Usagi frowned slightly. It was a shame they wouldn't be here for this day.
The woman walked over to the bed and grabbed her by the hand pulling her out of bed and placing a robe around her shoulders. Usagi forced all sad thoughts aside, determined to forget anything that could mar this day.
The first thing on the day's itinerary was a bath. She was a bit unnerved at being attended by the three women who poured hot water and sweet oils into the large pool that was nested in the marble floor of a room right next to Endymion's. The surface of the water was littered with red and white rose petals and she settled into the warm bath, luxuriating in the rich fragrances.
Three hours later when she was somewhat wrinkled, but well dried by a maid who had turned her skin a bright shade of red with her rubbing with the towels, and her hair had been brushed, her nails clipped and polished and her body thoroughly massaged, she was then dressed in white robes and brought to the temple, which although somewhat in ruins, retained a lot of its beauty. In order to get to the temple, which was separated from the main building of the palace she had had to walk quite a distance through ruined corridors, passing by passageways that were less than safe. It saddened her how so much of the building's beauty had been ruined by war, neglect and time. One of the women escorting her explained that repairs were underway but the workers attention had been diverted to the preparations for her wedding. No one would give her a clue as to what the ceremonies would be like however.
At the temple she kneeled before a great pool of water that shimmered a dark green in the dim light of the large room, in the center of which a fire burned brightly, the flames reflecting a brilliant red in the water. Across from her, on the opposite side of the pool Endymion kneeled, dressed in similar white robes. Despite the solemnity of the occasion he sent a small smile her way, which she returned. She couldn't help staring at his still features, cast in harsh light by the flickering of the flames that danced in his eyes. She looked away only momentarily when Endymion closed his eyes and a man in red robes, possibly the last and only priest of ancient Earth came out from the dark recesses at the back of the temple and began a rather dramatic recitation of the old prayers in a tongue so ancient she wondered if Endymion even understood them. She peered across at him but his eyes were closed in prayer and embarrassed by her inability to keep her eyes from wandering to him, she quickly closed her own.
With neither of their parents present to complete what would have been the final ceremony before the actual wedding, she had time to herself when the prayers ended and she was disappointingly separated from Endymion who had more details of the day to attend to. She was advised to take a nap as the ceremony and festivities would last well into the night. Neglecting that advice however, she tentatively stepped out unto the balcony of the room she and Endymion shared.
She was hoping to catch a glimpse of all the preparations but nothing seemed to have changed since the last time she checked. It seemed whatever was happening was on an entirely different side of the palace she had yet to see. She stepped back inside reconsidering the suggestion of a nap. She couldn't see herself falling asleep however, with all the excitement. She lay back on the bed looking up at the high ceiling. Her eyes traced the ridges of the arches above her and before she knew it her eyes closed and she was fast asleep.
The next thing she was aware of was a warm hand shaking her. She opened her eyes to the sight of the same woman, who had awakened her earlier that morning. It was time to get dressed.
She got out of bed for the second time but with a great deal more apprehension than before. This morning she'd been overwhelmed by the romance and caught up in the small details of her preparation, enjoying the luxuries of being a bride. Somehow her nap had managed to shed a new light on everything and the rising nervousness within her was quickly turning into fear that had her wringing her hands so hard, they were red from her abuse.
She managed to calm herself for the first moments of her preparation but she only just got hold of herself before she began hyperventilating. She sucked in a deep breath as K'tel, the woman who'd awakened her, began tightening the closures on the back of the gown. She was trying hard to calm herself down as she realized that at the end of the day her life would be changed forever and there would be no going back. The firm closures that had before seemed to brace her, supporting her breasts suddenly felt like chains.
Her eyes were lined with Kohl that made them seem even bluer. Her lips were painted a deep red and her skin shimmered with a lotion that made her seem flawless. She looked amazing, so unlike herself. She let out the breath she realized she was holding but it didn't help. She pushed K'tel away and rushed towards the balcony in a wild attempt to get some air.
"I can't do this," she whispered. "I can't get married. I'm sixteen, I know nothing about anything, and I've barely lived!"
"Your highness!" K'tel screeched out of concern to see her mistress on the balcony, that was less than safe, as well as alarm over her explanations.
Usagi whipped around, a hysterical look on her face. "I can't get married," she shrieked. I love him but I'm not ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready but I'm certainly not ready today!"
"Please come inside your highness" K'tel pleaded.
"Don't call me that," Usagi snapped ironically regal-sounding. "I'm not a queen. I can't be a queen. I'm just a stupid girl."
K'tel saw there would be little reasoning with her. A good deal of time had already passed. She had woken her somewhat hesitantly to get dressed. It was after all the bride's prerogative to be late on this of all days. Now she could only hope she could get the prince here in time to convince her before the time for the ceremonies began. She rushed out of the room and down the halls.
When Endymion came into the room, he found his bride sitting in the middle of the large bed staring blankly at the wall. He had had little time to sort out his reaction to the news that his bride refused to take the vows with him. He had been certain he'd allayed her concerns yesterday. Obviously he'd been mistaken.
He stood across the room examining her without a single notice from her of his presence. The anger he felt, not towards her as much as the situation melted away with a sigh. She was scared, understandably. He was more than a little nervous himself. But unlike her, he'd been dreaming of this moment for a long time. He'd had time to plan every move, to examine the details in his dreams.
He'd secretly known he'd loved her before she had even been aware of his presence. It had taken a while to admit it to himself and acknowledge theat he wanted to spend eternity with her; it had been even more difficult to admit it to her but time had always been on his side. He'd given her a day.
He walked across the room and sat down behind her. She hadn't acknowledged his presence as he walked towards her but now as he placed his hands on her shoulder, caressing them encouragingly, she seemed to collapse against him. He held her close, planting a kiss on the curve of her neck as he wrapped his arms tightly around her small waist.
"I'm sorry she whispered. I don't think I'm ready to do this. Are you mad at me?"
She sounded so young and childlike. It reminded him that in this life she was a mere sixteen years of age. Of course she was scared. She was committing her entire life from this point to him and of course the people that came with him.
"Is it me or is it everything else?"
She sniffled a little. "I love you."
"But you don't love it here?"
"No, yes, I mean…. I do like it here but I don't know if I'm ready for this. I thought I wanted to be a bride, a wife, and I still do but I don't think I'm ready. I always dreamed of being a wife, of being able to do all the things my mother does for my father and I have never been able to get any of that right but I had hoped that with time I'd get better at it, that I'd be more responsible, and smarter, and be able to do all those things.
"I thought when you asked me to marry you that the things I'd been taught when I was a princess would make all the difference but they don't. I wasn't taught to be a wife, I was taught to be a Queen and to be honest my training is incomplete. No one ever dreamed it would all come to an end so quickly."
He kissed her lightly again, this time on her ear. "I want you to believe me when I tell you this. Accept every word I say without argument."
His tone suggested this was a command rather than a suggestion, no matter how calmly and softly the words were said.
"I expect nothing of you. That is, I expect nothing but your complete love and undying devotion."
Usagi frowned. "Undying devotion?"
"Never mind the ridiculous phrasing. It's the meaning that is important. I don't need you to cook me dinner and iron my clothes, or whatever else your modern wives do. I don't expect you to rule my kingdom and make it into a paradise overnight or turn this place into palatial bliss. All I want is for you to be happy with me and for us to be together. That is the only purpose of this day and nothing else.
Can you do that?"
She was silent for a moment. "I already do that."
"Then you are far more prepared for this day than you think."
A small smile spread across her lips.
"I think that maybe I didn't give you enough time and I'm sorry. I suppose I'm a bit more excited and anxious than I thought. I'm still hoping that you'll marry me though." The last was said with a bit of tentativeness and a dose of hope. "It would be a blow to my ego if I have to seduce you in order to convince you that all will be well, but I'm quite willing to do what I must," he stated in a self-sacrificing tone that inspired a grin on her face.
She turned around to face him, a more serious expression on her face. "I wouldn't want you to sink to such improper means. I shouldn't allow you to pander yourself in that manner. I will marry you, if only to save you from yourself."
"It is good to marrying a woman so concerned with the welfare of my eternal spirit," he said dryly.
"One of us must be," she replied with a smile. How was it that everything seemed so much easier now that he was here? Somehow his presence had pushed aside the little voice that said that beginning this way with neither friends nor family to encourage and give their blessing was an inauspicious way to start a life together.
He rose from the bed an offered her his hand.
"Well let's get married then," he announced.
"But… my hair…" she began, lifting her locks that hung loosely down her back and had not yet been attended to.
"Is beautiful," he finished for her.
Usagi looked up at him skeptically.
He ran his hands lightly through the long loose waves of silky blonde hair appreciatively. "I like it."
He held out his hand for her and she placed her smaller palm in his and they walked out the door together.
Usagi gasped as they walked out into the gardens on the side of the palace she had not yet seen. She stepped out on a grassy area and was immediately assailed with fragrances of a variety of flowers. The strong scent of roses, lilacs and hyacinth hung in the balmy air. The pathway to where only a few people stood around a bubbling waterfall was littered with flower petals. And the garden was a mixture of a wild disarray of flowers and well-tended flowerbeds and pruned trees. The scene was almost unreal. Everything was too lush and perfect to be real. Before the fountain was a small tent-like gazebo, beyond which, in the distance was the ocean and the sun hung like a fiery glow, low in the sky. It was the very beginning of sunset and violets, and pinks had already begun to touch the sky. It was stunning.
She was surprised by the small number of guests awaiting her. She had expected a much larger gathering. This was far less intimidating however, and as she looked up to see him smiling down at her, she knew he had anticipated the anxiety a larger crowd would have caused and chosen a select group for her comfort. The group seemed to consist mainly of people she had yet to meet as well as a few of the servants who had attended her earlier.
Endmyion led her down the path to the waterfall. The sound of the water calmed any remaining anxieties she might have had. Before the pool of water at the base of the falls were two pillows facing each other. Endymion guided her to one and she kneeled while he took the other, kneeling to face her. The same priest who had performed the prayers came before them and handed Endymion a bowl of water. He sipped and handed her the bowl. She followed his actions, tasting the unfamiliar liquid, which was quite obviously something besides water.
The priest took the bowl from her and to her surprise lit the liquid inside which immediately blazed. She immediately remembered that it symbolized the vast differences between a couple, like fire and water, and how despite that, they joined together in harmony. The priest began to speak again in the same ancient language he had before and she obediently bowed her head just as Endymion did. To finalize the blessing a small amount of thick red liquid was poured on their heads and a dagger was used to knick both their palms and they pressed them together to finalize their joining.
All through the ceremony Usagi felt dazed and a bit overwhelmed by the solemn spirituality of the ceremonies. She barely realized it's completion as they stood together and he pulled her close to him, and covered her mouth with his own for a kiss that seemed a little too long and passionate to be appropriate in front of all these people. She barely realized the cheers that went up around them. When the kiss ended and she stood staring into his dark blue eyes that seemed glazed with a need and a possession she recognized. She bit her lips hard, as she was immediately struck by the realization that they were married, this was her husband and she had never been more happy or terrified in her life.
The End.