Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Twelve Carrot ❯ The Heist ( Chapter 2 )

Wow, this took a bit! Sorry. I think it's better for the wait, though.

 

Part Two: The Heist

 

 

Little known fact: Tsukino Usagi, aka Sailor Moon, Champion of Justice, Defender of Truth and so on and so forth, had one weakness (besides her own clumsiness that is.)

 

“No!”

 

“Yes!”

 

“I don't wanna!”

 

The youma forced the carrot to the aforementioned Defender of Truth's lips.

 

“You do and you will!”

 

“Nooooo!” She wailed.

 

She had an intense dislike of carrots.

 

“Eat it!”

 

“Never!”

 

Okay, perhaps `intense' is too mild a word. She hated them with the searing, sparking passion of a metal fork in the microwave.

 

Jadeite nodded at the youma, putting on his most sinister grin; he had chosen well with this one.

 

The youma in question was … different, to say the least. It wore mismatched orange and green leg warmers with sneakers and a spandex leotard. In its spare time, it was fond of doing crunches and making `delicious' smoothies out of everyday household items, like bricks and phone cords and that stuff underneath the refrigerator.

 

It was not a very popular youma; people on perpetual health kicks rarely are, especially when said kicks involve leg warmers and `delicious' smoothies. Still, Jadeite knew that it was reasonably powerful.

 

Honestly, he hadn't counted on the carrot thing. (Though he would certainly tell Beryl otherwise when he did the paper work.) He hadn't even realized that Sailor Moon hated exercise so much. Both were wonderful surprises.

 

Jadeite stifled an unseemly evil cackle. There would be time for such pleasantries later, after all.

 

“Well, now, Sailor Moon. Since you're so eager to get a look at it, you can be the first to try on the red-diamond necklace! Um … youma?” Embarrassingly, Jadeite had forgotten his menacing hench-thing's name.

 

The youma sighed. “I told you, it's—“

 

Hmm, Jadeite mused, mind wandering, Maybe I should get a new sweater…everyone seems to hate the old one. They say it's ugly, well! I'll show them ugly; I'll go buy a grey and orange sweater and— Was that youma saying something? Ug, it was probably saying its name! Now he'd just have to pretend he knew it. Great.

 

“Oh. Yes. Right. Good old … you,” said Jadeite, who suddenly felt that something was expected of him. “Do that thing you do, with the necklace?”

 

“B-but, she hasn't eaten her vegetables!”

 

“Never!” yelled Sailor Moon, glad not to be forgotten. She struggled against her bonds, succeeding only in falling off of the safe in an undignified heap.

 

“What?” asked Jadeite. Where do they get these people, really?

 

“C'mon, Sailor Moon!” hissed Luna, from beneath an overturned plastic box. A huge paperweight statue of Peppy the Yard Gnome, one of Japan's more unfortunate American imports, secured it to the ground. “If you can just knock this monstrosity off the box, I'll be able to escape and claw through those ropes!”

 

Sailor Moon nodded and began inching toward the box, wormlike, as Jadeite argued with the youma. This hadn't exactly gone as planned.

 

It took hours for them to find the right store. She couldn't believe they'd missed it for so long; it was strung with banners pronouncing the arrival of the red diamond. They'd even advertised in the newspaper!

 

She'd slipped into the jewelry store, that night. Usagi hadn't wanted to go, of course. Her day had been tiring enough.

 

For one thing, Naru had clearly gone mad.

 

“We'll find that perfect necklace, Usagi! Even if it kills us!” Naru's gratuitous use of plural pronouns had not escaped Usagi's notice.

 

Naru dragged her to what felt like every jewelry store in the country of Japan, and not just a few elsewhere. Usagi could have sworn that at least one of those jewelers spoke a different language.

 

But it had all been worth it, when Luna had spotted the banners.

 

Red Diamond Here! They proclaimed. Come Join the Celebration! (All sales final. Aiko Jewelers is in no way responsible for any trampling, maiming or other personal harm its customers may come to on the day of the sale.)

 

It was too easy. They'd snuck in without so much of a second glance from the snoring security guard. The red diamond necklace was laying right there, on a table in the back room.

 

Giggling, Usagi reached out for it when -WHAM!

 

She'd barely had time for a quick transformation before the youma was upon her. Literally.

 

“Oof!”

 

“Get up get up get up, lazy!” And it had all gone downhill from there.

 

After being forced to do some deep knee bends and to use makeshift exercise equipment (she'd pay dearly to know how the youma had created a working treadmill out of some old boxes and a pair of pliers), the Champion of Justice was more than a little worn out.

 

And that was about when Jadeite showed up, presumably to gloat. (In actuality, he would have been content to watch from the safety of the security cameras. The only reason he was even in the room was because he'd gotten lost on the way to the bathroom. Once he arrived, however, he recognized that it would be in bad taste to leave.)

 

Sailor Moon struggled to her knees. Her hands were bound behind her back, so she tried to knock Peppy the Yard Gnome off of the box with her forehead.

 

“Hurry!” hissed Luna.

 

“I don't understand,” Jadeite was saying, arms crossed, “why you can't just take that necklace and drain her energy.”

 

“She hasn't completed the program!” Luna wriggled out from beneath the box.

 

“It's not supposed to be a reward!” A vein throbbed in his forehead, threatening to evacuate the area unless conditions improved.

 

“But how will she lose all that extra weight if she doesn't follow a strict diet?”

 

“Extra weight!” Sailor Moon yelled, about to give the youma a piece of her mind.

 

“Shhh!” said Luna, frantically clawing at the ropes. “Do you want them to stop arguing and force feed you carrots?”

 

“Do you think I'm fat?” She strained to see her thighs.

 

“Now's not the time for this!” The rope began to fray.

 

“That's it!” said Jadeite. He resolved to just kill the youma and use the necklace himself.

 

“Oh, so you do think I'm fat,” Sailor Moon sniffled.

 

“Well, you could stand to be more sculpted,” said the youma, turning around.

 

“What is she doing over there?” yelled Jadeite. His day had not exactly gone as planned either.

 

“Got it!” said Luna, triumphant. Sailor Moon stood up, tiara in hand. Call her fat, would it? That youma had another thing coming.

 

The butt-kicking commenced without further interruption. (Insert violence here.) (And here.) (And a third time; initial twice on the dotted line, thank you.)

 

As he returned to the Dark Kingdom, sans dignity, but with the necklace in hand, Jadeite reflected that, all in all, it could've gone worse. True, he had failed miserably and Beryl would have his behind on ice, but that youma was really annoying. He still couldn't get the taste of that `delicious' smoothie out of his mouth.

 

He looked down at the necklace. The red gems sparkled in the moonlight. A thought struck him. Tomorrow was another day, after all.

 

 

******

“Usagi!” said Naru. “Did I wake you? I know it's not quite noon yet…Anyway, I wanted to -”

 

Usagi groaned, leaning against the doorframe. “I can't go jewelry shopping today. I'm still tired from yesterday!”

 

“Oh, but, you don't have to. That's why I'm here. Look at this!” Naru held up a shining string of red gems. A very familiar shining string of red gems.

 

Usagi's jaw dropped. “Where did you get that?”

 

“It was the strangest thing! This blond guy came by my mom's jewelry store this morning. Said he wanted to get rid of it. No charge. Good thing, too. Mom says that it's pretty much worthless, nothing but colored glass. It doesn't look it, though. She said that I could have it. Isn't it gorgeous?” She held the necklace up to her neck; its facets refracted the sunlight, making them practically glow.

 

“I wanted to thank you for helping me yesterday. I guess the best things really are close to home, right? Actually,” she continued, holding onto the doorframe, “I wouldn't have wanted to go shopping again today, either. I didn't feel it last night, but ever since this morning, about after that guy stopped over, I've been feeling sort of … drained.”

 

“Usagi?” said Naru, concerned. “Why are you making that face? Is something wrong? Usagi?”

 

It was going to be a long day.

 

End.