Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ What Happens When...? ❯ What Happens When...? ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Hi minna


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Hi
minna!

The
full disclaimer is at the end of the story, because I don't want to ruin
all the weird characters that pop up in here. Hey, it IS a comedy. It's
mostly Sailor Moon and Gundam Wing, but...well, I'll let you read. This
is my first attempt at a comedy, so we'll see how this goes. ^^;













What
Happens When...? or, The Bizarre Misadventures of the Senshi Without a Properly
Functioning Guardian of Time and Space.







Haruka
and Michiru are sitting in the living room of their house, and it is very late
in the evening. On the table before them sits a blender, some fruit, and plenty
of alcohol of varied sorts. Michiru is giggling hysterically at some inane
thing Haruka has just said, her shrieks carrying up the house, louder than
Usagi on a test day. Haruka is trying very hard not to join her, since she is
even more sloshed than Michiru.

In
her room upstairs, Setsuna snaps her book shut and leaves her room, checking on
Hotaru on the way, who is still sleeping, fortunately. Going downstairs,
Setsuna frowns on seeing the figures of Haruka and Michiru, who are spinning a
vodka bottle around.

"It
lands on..." Haruka shouts, "Michiru!"

"Eek!"
Michiru leaps off the couch and tries to get away from Haruka, who tries to
chase her, tripping on the carpet. Somehow, she finds this extremely funny, and
begins to laugh at the ceiling. Michiru drops to all fours and crawls over to
her, watching her upside down. "You're real drunk,
'Ruka."

That
sent Haruka into a gale of laughter, and she tries to wrestle with Michiru.

"This
is not amusing," Setsuna said before the fray could get any louder.
"Hotaru is sleeping."

The
two froze, staring at the soldier of time, who had her arms crossed and was
glaring at them in her best 'you are a LOT younger than me' look.

Haruka
snorted, and rolled off Michiru. "You're no fun, Puu!"

"Only
Small Lady may call me Puu."

"Okay,
Puu. Come on. Have a..hic..drink with me an' Michie."

"I
don't drink."

"Aw...why
not?" Michiru began to splash whiskey into a shot glass.

"Bad
things happen when I am not completely coherent."

Standing
wobbly, Michiru tried to hand Setsuna the whiskey.

"Aren't
you two a bit young to be drinking?"

Haruka
returned to the couch with a flop as Setsuna took the drink away from Michiru,
who looked about ready to spill it. "Yeah," Haruka admitted,
giggling. "But we're also too young to drive, have a house, race
cars, fly airplanes...."

"That
was a HELICOPTER, Haruka!" Michiru corrected as she staggered over to
Haruka, collapsing next to her. "Get it RIGHT!"

"Sure,
Michie!"

Setsuna
just shook her head. "You two are drunk."

"Well,
DUH!" Michiru said, shaking out her hair.

"Come
on, Puu. Down it. Or we'll get louder, and Hotaru will wake up and
obliterate the universe!"

Setsuna
rolled her eyes. She didn't know about the destruction of the universe
part, but Hotaru may very well wake up, and she needed her rest. And though
many people didn't believe it, Hotaru could be VERY grouchy in the
mornings. So, the universe may get Death Reborn Revolution-ed after all.

"One,
drink, Puu? Pleeeeease?"

"We'll
be REAL quiet!" Michiru held her hands over her mouth, looking like a
little girl. "Promise?"

"I'm
the Guardian of Time and Space. Do you two KNOW what happens if I get drunk?"

"Aw,
you probably haven't ever been drunk before!"

Shaking
her head, Setsuna stared at the shotglass. "Yes, I have."

"REALLY?
WHEN?"

"Haruka!"
Setsuna snapped. "Hotaru."

"Oops!
Hic! Gomen ne, Puu!"

"Stop
calling me Puu!"

"One
drink, Setsuna!" Michiru giggled from behind her hands.

One
drink and shut them up? Setsuna sighed, then downed the whiskey.





Two
de-henshined senshi were sitting in Crown Fruit Parlor. One was dressed in a
brand new orange dress that she had purchased the hour before, spaghetti
strapped and with a little ruffle
that she thought was so very, "Kawaii!" The other senshi with her
had agreed, and she had bought it. Red bow intact, Minako was wolfing down a
hamburger with her voracious appetite, only outmatched by the odango atama of
the group. Opposite of Minako was Makoto, wearing jeans and a green plaid tank
top, drinking a milkshake, eyes nearly bugging out as she watched Minako eat.
"Slow down, Minako-chan. You'll get fat!"

Minako
hesitated a moment in her porking out session, teary eyed. "How can you
not eat at a time like this? Those guys had..." she sniffled, then
wailed, "girlfriends! It's not fair!"

Makoto
stirred her milkshake sadly, watching the pink and vanilla swirl around.
"Yeah, and that one looked just like my old senpai, too...."

"SEE?"
Minako wailed. "They were perfect!"

Together,
they sighed, "I want a boyfriend!"

And
in answer to their combined wish, the skies parted, and from the heaven, five
figures hurtled down, two screaming. One landed on his feet, one landed and
rolled, another did a weird backflip thing, one landed on his face, and the
last on his butt.

From
inside, Minako and Makoto blinked, looking at each other, Minako's mouth
full of burger, Makoto's full of milkshake. They swallowed, turning
slowly and staring at the five, then simultaneously shrieked, "AHHHH!!!
IT'S RAINING HOT GUYS!!!"

They
bolted for the door, Minako ruthlessly shoving Mako out of her way.
"AHHH!!! This one's mine!" She latched onto the one who was
peeling himself off the concrete, looking dazed.

"Huh?"
He asked as he stared at the girl who was now clinging to his arm.

"I'm
Minako! Who are you?"

"Uh,
Duo?"

Minako
sighed, "You're hair is so KAWAII!"

Always
happy to hear about his hair, Duo began to look very self important and
grinned, forgetting he had just fallen from the sky, saying,
"Thanks."

Meanwhile,
Makoto was switching between the other four, eyes wide. "I don't
know which one to pick!"

"PICK?
Stupid woman! Do we look like fruit to you?!?"

Makoto
turned red, staring at the Chinese boy. "Who's stupid, plastic
hair?"

"My
hair does not resemble plastic, woman!"

"Oh
yeah?"

Plastic
hair glared, reaching for a sword
at his belt, then hesitated, folding his arms. "I don't fight
women."

"Oh
yeah? Why not?"

"Women
are weaklings."

Makoto
slowly began to turn purple. Minako stopped staring at Duo to say, "Oooh
dang. You made her mad, baka plastic hair. You'd better take that
back." Then she turned back to Duo. "YOUR hair is great! It's
so pretty in the braid!"

Duo
was beaming.

"Call
this weak!" Makoto shouted, charging. Minako and Duo stopped chatting
about their hair while the other three boys stared at the fight in silence.
Their mouths fell as the ponytailed girl somehow hauled the boy into the air
and threw him, causing him to fall, rolling, then charge. One of the staring
boys finally said, "Wufei," in a warning tone, and the Chinese boy
stopped his attack.

"She
has insulted my honor and manhood!" Wufei shouted. "I demand
JUSTICE!"

Makoto
smirked.

Another
boy, the blonde, told him, "Wufei, we shouldn't be fighting
them!"

Makoto
wheeled on him. "If you say it's because we're girls,
I'm gonna kick your fu-!"

Before
Makoto could start swearing, Minako shouted, "Mako-chan!" Stopping
her.

"No,
no!" The boy protested. "I believe in total pacifism!"

"Agh!"
Duo shouted. "Quatre! No! Not another lecture! AGHHH!" He covered
his ears with his hands.

One
of the two boys, who had not spoken yet, asked, "May I ask who you two
are?"

"Aino
Minako!"

"Kino
Makoto."

Quatre
stepped forward, offering Makoto his hand. "Quatre Raberba Winner,"
pointing at one of the two silent ones, "Heero Yuy," the other
silent one, "Trowa Barton," baka plastic hair, "Chang
Wufei," and at the one Minako was glued to, "Duo Maxwell."

"Nice
to meet ya!" Duo offered his hand at Minako, who stared for a moment.

"OH!
Shake hands! Okay!" She took Duo's hand and shook it until Duo
began to shake along with her.

"Minako,
stop!" Duo snatched his hand away.

Makoto
was bowing politely to Quatre, Trowa, and Heero. She shot a dirty look at
Wufei. Heero bowed back.

"Um,
can we ask you girls something?" Quatre asked.

"What?"
Makoto replied.

"What
just happened?"

"Other
than our falling from the sky?" Duo quipped.

"Um,
yeah." Quatre smiled nervously.





"Amieeeee-chaaaaaannnn...I
don't want to studiiiiieeee!"

"Usagi-chan,
you need to get a good grade on the next test, or you might fail the
class!"

"But
Amieeeee!"

"SHHH!!!"
Came from several people around them.

"Gomen
ne!" Ami whispered back, hoping Usagi would keep quiet in the library.

The
librarian stared at them, ready to kick them out. But she recognized Ami, and
knew she was usually quiet, and so gave her and her loud friend a second
chance. "Usagi-chan, you have to know about the planets. They're
important to your future as Neo-Queen."

Usagi
buried her head in her arms on the table. "Umph," she said.
"I wanna go shopping with Minako and Mako-chan. Even read manga at
Rei's!"

Ami
brought her textbook up before her. "What is the last planet in the solar
system?"

"Nemesis."

"No."

Usagi
snapped her head up. "Yes it is! We've been there, remember?"

Ami
sighed. "But no one else knows about it, Usagi-chan. Put it on the test,
and you'll get it wrong."

"But
I hate to studiiiiiieeeeee-!"

"AHHHHHHH!!!!"

Ami
began to look around. That second scream wasn't Usagi's.

"Usagi!"

"Nani?
Nani! NANI!"

Ami
grabbed Usagi's arm, hauling her from the table as more people began to
leap up, screaming. In the hallway outside, there was the sound of even more
people shouting, and the sound of running.

"Henshin
yo!"

"Hai!"

They
ran behind a bookcase.

"Mercury
Crystal Power! Make-UP!"

"Moon
Crisis! Make-UP!"



The
freshly transformed Sailors Mercury and Moon appeared, posing, Mercury on a
table, Moon before a potted plant. "Stop right there!" they cried.

A
giant blue blob of cloth turned, revealing a very ugly mask.
"SCARF!" it shouted.

Mercury
blinked. Hadn't they fought her before?

Sailor
Moon was too busy launching into her speech to notice. "Champion of Love
and Justice! Sailor Moon! And on behalf of the Moon, I will...okay, I WILL forgive you for interrupting me,
but not for hurting innocent people!"

"And
I, Sailor Mercury, Champion of Wisdom and Justice, will NOT forgive you for
interrupting me! And on behalf of the planet Mercury,"

They
finished together, "We will punish you!"

"SCARF!"

"Moon
Tiara Action!" Sailor Moon threw her tiara, knocking Scarf's mask
off, revealing her oddly pretty face.

"SCARF!"
she wailed again.

"Mercury
Aqua Rhapsody!"

Scarf
was shot through with the ice, screaming as she died.

Jumping
up and down, Sailor Moon shouted, "That was easy!"

Mercury
drew out her mini computer, and began scanning. "Sailor Moon, we've
fought her before."

"Nani?"

"You
don't remember her?"

"Uh,
no?"

The
lights of the computer reflected up into Mercury's face as she tapped the
visor, sliding across her eyes, continuing her scanning. "The one who
tried to take Mako-chan's heart crystal last year?"

Sailor
Moon's mouth fell open. "You mean that nasty hentai youma with the
black star on her b-!"

"Mmhm,"
Mercury frowned at the readings. "There's a space distortion around
where she last stood."

"NANI?!?"





There
were over a dozen men in white armor running around in front of Tokyo Tower,
and over a dozen white dressed flying women soaring around them. The armored
men were shooting lazers from their blaster guns at them, and not meeting with
much success, since they seemed to be made of ice.

"Fall
back!" One of the armored men shouted, waving at his troops. From above
them, they heard a shrill laughter, and they looked up to see an ice blue woman
without a shirt and wearing an exotic, icy, African looking headdress, cackling
maniacally at them.

"Finish
them my Snow Dancers! Kill them all! Ehehehe!"

That
sent the dancers into a tizzy of attacks, repelled by the armored men and their
blasters.

A
shriek interrupted them and everyone's heads swiveled around to see the
ice woman battling a black robed and helmeted man with a big glowing red sword.


"Haw...purrr...The
Emperor will be most displeased if I allow this planet to fall to anyone other
than the Galactic Empire. I will own this planet."

"The
Galactic what? Never heard of it! The universe is all MINE! Bwahaha!"

The
black helmeted man spun the sword, and the ice witch narrowly dodged, throwing
a stream of snow at him. He lifted a hand, turning it aside. "How can you
do that?"

"Haww...pur...I
am Lord Darth Vader, and a Jedi Master of the Force. I can do anything I
want."

"Well,
I've been all over the universe, and I've never heard of any of
it!"

"And
how have you traveled all over the universe?"

"Because
of a big light!"

Vader
stared at her. "A big light? Of what?"

"The
light of Hope and Friendship!"

"Ah,
the enemy of the Dark Side!" Vader turned off his lightsaber. "And
you are?"

"Hm.
Well, I was never really GIVEN a name, because everyone just called me the
'Snow Witch' but I really didn't like that. There WAS this
one guy who I got a lot of power from who called me Kaguya-hime. And I liked
THAT a lot better."

"Kaguya,
then. I am Darth Vader."

"You
mentioned that. Are we still going to kill each other, or are we allies
now?"

"Will
you try to prevent me from taking over the world for my Master?"

Kaguya
sniffed. "There IS no Galactic Empire. Why don't you take it over
for yourself? That's a lot more fun."

"Haw....I
do not understand fun."

Kaguya
gasped, looking horrified. "You never LAUGH when you're killing
people?"

"Haw...purr...No."

"You
poor deprived man! All villains here must laugh maniacally! It's a
rule!"

"I
think about laughing sometimes, but it is not in my nature."

"We
will remedy that at once! Snow Dancers! Break up! Find those pesty senshi that
stopped us last time! And the rest of you, let's take our new friends to
our hideout and plan to take over the universe! Bwahahaha!"



Rei
was sweeping the courtyard when she heard the gaggle of people heading up
towards the temple. Placing a hand to her head, she felt a headache coming on.

"Rei-chan!"
Minako shouted, waving, as they trooped into view. "Look who we
found!"

Rei
stared at the boys that were tagging along with Minako and Makoto.

"Rei-chan,
they fell from the sky. It was really cool," Minako told her as they
gathered around.

"They
fell from the sky? How?"

Makoto
shrugged. "How should we know? They fell outside the Fruit Parlor."

"Who
are they?"

Minako
took a breath and made the introductions. "Heero, Trowa, Wufei, Quatre,
and Duo."

Rei
frowned at Duo. "Why are you dressed like a Catholic priest?"

"Why
are you dressed like a Shinto priestess?" Duo tried to pick at her long
sleeve. She smacked his hand away.

"I
AM a Shinto priestess!"

"Oh."

"Are
you a Catholic priest?"

Duo
sweatdropped, while Quatre and Wufei began to laugh. Even Trowa and Heero
looked about ready to smile. They didn't, but it was CLOSE.

"Hmph!"
Rei tossed her hair over her shoulder. "At least I really am a Shinto priestess."

"REI!"
Yuuichirou came running out from inside the temple. "I've got the
dustpan, Rei!"

Rei
shook her head sadly, taking the dustpan for her sweeping. Yuuichirou turned to
look at the newcomers. "Hey, Makoto-san. Minako-san. And...people I don't
know," he turned back to Rei. "Do you want me to help you
sweep?"

"Um,
sure, Yuuichirou." He ran back inside to get another broom.

"Hey,
Trowa," Duo elbowed the silent one. "His hair is even more in his
face than yours! You can't see either of his eyes!"

Trowa:
"...."

Rei
sighed. "Minako-chan, why did you bring them all up here?"

Minako
grew slightly more serious for a moment, taking Rei's arm and steering
her aside a step. "They fell from the sky," she whispered.

"I
got that much."

Minako
shook her head. "The same way Chibiusa did. I think they're from
the future or something."

"Are
you sure?"

"Un.
We brought them here to find more out."

"Hai,"
turning to the group, she shouted over a new argument between Makoto and Wufei,
"Would you all like to come inside for tea?"

"I
like tea," Quatre agreed. Heero and Trowa stepped forward too, but Duo
wailed,

"I
don't like tea!"

"Then
I'll get you something else!"

"REI!
I'm back!" Yuuichirou announced on his return, brandishing a broom.

"WOMAN!
YOU INSULT ME!"

"OH
YEAH?"

"This
is giving me a headache."

"I
thought we were having tea?"

"SNOW
DANCERS?!?"

When
Minako shouted that over everyone else, they shut up, looking to the sky, where
several of the Snow Dancers were floating, looking down at them laughing in
their high pitched giggles.

"I'll
protect you, Rei!" Yuuichirou leapt infront of her. Each of the other
boys moved in front of Minako and Makoto. Heero, Duo and Trowa all pulled out
guns while Wufei drew his sword.

Quatre
stared at them. "Heero! Duo, Trowa! You ALL have guns?"

"Doesn't everyone?"
Heero asked.

"NO!"

"Oh."

"Could
we stop talking and fight already?" Duo asked.

The
Snow Dancers took that moment to charge, swooping in at them.

One
targeted Rei, and Yuuichirou shoved her back, leaping forward, punching it in
the face. "OW!" he exclaimed as his fist started to bruise. Another
Dancer took advantage of his distraction and iced him.

"No,
Yuuichirou!" Rei screamed. "Bastards!"

The
other boys were doing a bit better, though Quatre was now half pinned to the
ground by a block of ice on his legs. Shots started to ring out as the boys
tried to fight the Snow Dancers, but they were far too fast, dodging.

"Omae
wo korosu!!!" Heero yelled as he ran forward into the fray. He was
getting pretty mad. He usually didn't take this long to blow stuff up.

Minako
and Makoto had backed together, standing before Rei, who was struggling to her
feet. Two Snow Dancers had broken away from the main group, and the only person
between them and the girls was Duo.

"Minna,"
Minako began, "No choice. Don't let any escape. Henshin yo."

"Hai!"

"Mars
Crystal Power!"

"Jupiter
Crystal Power!"

"Venus
Crystal Power!"

"Make-UP!"

Duo
turned to watch the pretty lights show that was surrounding the three girls. A
moment later, three sailor-suited senshi were standing before him.

"Minako?"
He gawked.

"Um,
yes?" Sailor Venus replied.

Duo
brightened. "Can you do that again?"

"Why?"

"Cause
you were naked!"

Venus
promptly beaned him over the head.

"V-babe!"
Jupiter shouted at her. "The Snow Dancers!"

"Yeah,
yeah. We are the pretty sailor-suited senshi, Sailor Venus!"

"Sailor
Mars!"

"And
Sailor Jupiter!"

They
finished together, "We will punish you!"

"Crescent
Beam!"

"Sparkling
Wide Pressure!"

"Burning
Mandala!"

Several
minutes later, the courtyard was steaming with vapor from the melting Snow
Dancers. None had survived.



"Hang
on, Quatre. Fire Soul!"

The
fireball melted the block of ice on Quatre's legs, and Wufei helped him
to stand, since his legs had been numbed.

Sailor
Mars took aim again, this time at the ice statue of Yuuichirou.
"Careful... Fire Soul!"

The
ice began to melt around him, dripping, and Sailor Mars detransformed, the
ribbons circling her a moment, then returning her to her priestess outfit.
"Yuuichirou?" She tried to hold his head up.

"Uggh...."
he groaned.

"He's
okay!" Rei called, relieved.

"What
are you?" Heero asked, putting his gun away.

Venus
and Jupiter glanced at each other. Together, they detransformed, returning to
normal. Minako answered, "Sailor Senshi."

"Soldiers?"
Heero stared. "In skirts?"

"They're
nothing wrong with our fukus! I bet you wear your green tank top and spandex
every day!"

Heero
turned red.

"Ha!
I knew it!" Minako crowed cheerfully. "The eye of the goddess of
love and beauty never misses!"

"Well,
I'm the god of death!" Duo declared.

"Can
you blow up the universe?" Makoto asked him.

"Uh,
no?"

Minako
and Makoto shared a look. "Then you couldn't beat Hotaru."

"Is
he the god of death?"

"SHE
is Sailor Saturn, and SHE can blow up the universe."

"I
have a really big scythe!"

"She
has a glaive."

"I
have...I have a GUNDAM!"

"DUO!"
Heero shouted, clamping a hand over the American's mouth. "Shut
up!"

Trowa
stepped over, looking at the two detransformed senshi. "They just
revealed to us their identities, Heero. And they may be able to help us to
return home. Perhaps it would be best."

"Trowa?"

"Yes?"

Duo
peeled Heero's hand from his mouth. "Are you getting ready to kill
something? You never talk that much unless you are."

Trowa:
"...."

"I'll
take that as a no."

"...."

"Minna!"
Rei called. "We're taking Yuuichirou inside!" Rei, Wufei and
Quatre were hauling Yuuichirou up, and half dragging him into the temple.

"REI-CHAN!"
a familiar voice began to shout up the hill.

"Usagi-chan!"
Minako waved as the odango atama arrived, tailed by Ami, Mamoru, and Luna and
Artemis.

"I'm
sorry we're late. We had to call Mamo-chan for a ride, and it was really
squishy on the back of his motorcycle with the three of us, and then get Luna
and Artemis!"

"It's
okay, Usagi-chan!" Minako latched herself onto Duo again, who was
grinning at all the attention. "Look who we found!"

Artemis
began to hiss at Duo.

"Artemis!
Be nice!" The white cat settled in to glare at braid-boy.

Luna,
however, was purring up next to Trowa. "Hello, there," he picked
her up and petted her head.

That
distracted Artemis, who began to hiss at Trowa for touching Luna.

"It's
okay, Artemis," Minako soothed. "They saw us henshin. No choice.
They're okay."

"NANI?"
Luna yelped in Trowa's arms. "Agh, meow?"

"They
saw you henshin?" Mamoru asked, looking at the three Gundam pilots. He
placed an arm on Usagi.

"Hai,"
Makoto told them. "There were Snow Dancers."

Usagi
pulled at her odagoes, wailing, "We already fought them too!"

"Too?"
Makoto asked. "You fought some?"

"Ah,
no, Mako-chan," Ami corrected nervously. "You remember
Scarf?"

Makoto
paled, then went red in the face. "Where is she? I'll kick her
fu-"

"MAKOTO!
NO SWEARING!"

"Gomen."

"Put
Luna down!" Artemis demanded. "If they know, then oh well.
Luna!"

"Gomen,"
Luna said to Trowa, who set her back down. "Maybe we should go inside and
talk. It's not so safe out here."



It
was very cramped in Rei's room, with the five pilots, five senshi, one
Tuxedo Kamen, two talking cats, and several cups of tea. After the
introductions, (again) Ami set to telling everyone about her readings of Scarf.

"There
was a warp in the area, and a distortion where she died."

"But
I don't want to fight all of them again!" Usagi wailed, clutching
Mamoru, who was shaking his head. "We beat them already!"

"This
is your leader?" Heero asked Rei, who nodded and sighed.

"Believe
it or not."

"YOU
ARE A WEAKLING, WOMAN!" Wufei shouted at Usagi. "THE WEAK DO NOT
FIGHT!"

Wufei
suddenly found himself being lifted off the ground by Mamoru, who had somehow
moved across the room in two seconds, and was pinning him to the wall.
"You are not half as strong as my Usako!"

"Your
Usako is a WEAKLING! And what is your power? Throwing flowers?"

Mamoru
turned red and began to throttle Wufei.

"It
IS throwing flowers!" Wufei cackled though the grip.

"They're
SHARP flowers!"

"Are
they daisies? Or pansies?"

"ROSES!
I THROW ROSES!"

"Mamo-chan!
Put him down! Please?"

Mamoru
ignored her.

Trowa
asked Ami, who was still standing, staring, "Are they always like
this?"

"Mamoru-san?
No, he usually is very quiet. Usagi-chan is though."

"Makoto?"
Quatre asked. "Can I have more tea?"

"Sure,"
Makoto poured for him.

Mamoru,
despite Usagi now pulling at his arm, was still trying to kill Wufei, Minako
had somehow convinced Duo to braid her hair like his, Rei was telling Heero
about all the baka things Usagi had done, including the time she got stuck in a
giant tennis ball, Luna and Artemis were trying to figure out how Scarf and the
Snow Dancers were connected, and Quatre was telling Makoto about the FANTASTIC
tea she had just made. This, all in the same room, led to a lot of noise.

"Minna?"
Ami tried, looking helpless. "Minna?"

Trowa
sighed, put his fingers in his mouth and whistled very loudly. That caught
everyone's attention.

"Arigatou,
Trowa-san," Ami sighed.

Trowa
nodded.

"Minna,"
Ami tried again, this time to a quieter room, "I don't think Scarf,
the Snow Dancers and the arrival of you five..." she gestured at the
pilots, "are connected directly. As far as I can tell, you five are from
a parallel dimension, Scarf and the Dancers from our past. You're
unrelated, except that you all have to do with time, or space."

"Then
what do we DO?" Usagi asked, finally breaking Mamoru's death grip
on Wufei, causing him to fall to the floor.

That
caused everyone to burst into another round of chatter.

Ami
began to look a little angry. "Minna?"

Trowa
got ready to whistle again. Ami stopped him, then shouted, "MINNA!"
at the top of her lungs. Coming from Ami, everyone silenced.

"We
need to go to PLUTO."

"How
are we going to get there?" Duo asked, tying off Minako's new braid
with her usual red bow. Minako raced over to Rei's mirror and squealed
happily.

Ami
shook her head. "We're not going to PLUTO. We're going to
SAILOR Pluto."

"Oh."



One
very noisy bus ride later, minus Luna and Artemis, who would be monitoring for
further attacks, and Mamoru and Usagi, who took Mamoru's motorcycle, they
trooped off the stop and began to walk to the Outer Senshi's house,
meeting up with Mamoru and Usagi on the way. As they approached, they heard the
battle cry, "Silence Glaive Surprise!" and saw the bolt of light
that accompanied it.

"Saturn!"
the Inners shouted, breaking into a run.

"Mercury
Crystal Power!"

"Mars
Crystal Power!"

"Jupiter
Crystal Power!"

"Venus
Crystal Power!"

"Moon
Crisis!"

"Make-UP!"

Mamoru
drew out his rose, and transformed.



"I
am the pretty sailor suited soldier, Sailor Moon!" Sailor Moon announced
as they reached the front yard, leaping over the fence. "And on behalf of
the Moon, I will punish you!"

"Oh,
hi, Sailor Moon." Sailor Saturn looked up from where she was standing,
apparently the place the youma had just been vaporized from. She leaned against
her glaive. "I took care of it."

The
Gundam pilots only a step behind them, Duo spotted Saturn. "SHE can blow
up the universe? She's just a little girl!"

Saturn
frowned at Duo. "Who are you?"

"Duo
Maxwell, god of death!"

Saturn
didn't look very impressed, just shrugging and loosening her grip on the
glaive.

"Minna,"
Sailor Moon said, detransforming, "I guess it's over."

"Hai."


They
detransformed.

Saturn
lifted an eyebrow, then shrugged again, returning to Hotaru. "Come on in.
Michiru-mama, Haruka-papa and Setsuna-mama aren't feeling very
well."

"Are
they sick?" Ami asked as they entered the house.

There
was the sound of throwing up from upstairs. Hotaru winced. "You could say
that."

"Hotaru-chan,"
Rei asked as they went into the living room, "that youma you fought, what
did it look like? Did you recognize it?"

"No.
But for some reason it thought I was Sailor Moon and wanted to sell me its jewelry."

"Noooo!"
Usagi moaned. "That sounds like that witch I dusted the first time I was
Sailor Moon!"

"If
you killed it, why is it back?"

"That's
what we're trying to find out, Hotaru-chan," Ami told her.
"Is Setsuna up to seeing us?"

Hotaru
frowned thoughtfully. "She's been sleeping. Haruka-papa and
Michiru-mama have been throwing up a lot. I had to clean up the living room
this morning." Hotaru made a gesture like she was drinking.

The
Inner Senshi's eyes bugged out.

Makoto
finally managed, "Haruka I can see. And if Haruka, Michiru, but Setsuna?
Drinking?"

Hotaru
shrugged. "If you want, you can see her. I'll go see if she's
up."

"I'm
coming with you!" Rei announced, and Ami tagged along, Trowa and Quatre
also tailing them. Minako grabbed Duo before he could move.

As
they went down the hallway, Haruka emerged from the bathroom in a daze, belched
once, then staggered into her and Michiru's room, ignoring the stares.

"Who
was that guy?" Quatre asked.

"Haruka-papa,"
Hotaru replied distractedly, opening another door, this one to Setsuna's
room. Setsuna was still asleep, the room very still. Shaking her head again,
the two senshi and two pilots peered behind her as she entered the room and
picked up the Timestaff. Hotaru crept back out. "Sh. I don't want
to wake her. They all need to sleep."

They
went back to the living room, where the others had spread out.

"Setsuna-mama
is still asleep, but I brought her Garnet Scepter."

"Why?"
Usagi asked.

Hotaru
looked at the senshi before her. "Since you're here, looking for
her, and the youma I fought is from almost two years ago, there must be a time
problem. And since Setsuna-mama can't help you...she said that if she was
ever unable to function as Sailor Pluto for a short time, and was needed, that
I should give her Scepter to Ami-chan."

"AMI?"
Everyone shouted, staring at the blue haired girl, who was looking just as
surprised as they. "Why?"

Hotaru
turned to Ami, handing her the Timestaff. Ami graciously accepted, watching the
center of the garnet begin to turn blue. After a moment, the core of the Garnet
Orb was blue, glowing faintly, surrounded in red. Hotaru turned back to the
others. "She said Ami because," she held up a finger as she counted
each senshi. "Haruka would beat people up with it, Michiru would use it
to make herself perfect, Rei would use it to make herself queen of the
world," Heero suddenly sat bolt upright, and began to look around.

"Relena's
not here, Heero." Quatre told him.

"I
wasn't looking for Relena."

"Oh,
yeah?" Duo laughed. "She's your girlfriend."

"She
is not."

"Then
say you don't like her!"

"I've
tried to kill her."

"Deny
it!"

"Duo...."

"HA!
You can't! Heero loves Relena! Heero loves Relena!"

"OMAE
WO KOROSU, DUO!"

"AHH!
EW! NO! Don't say that! You only say that to people you love!"

"THIS
IS NOT A YAOI!"

"Death
Reborn...."

Five
senshi and Mamoru began screaming for them to shut up before they were all
obliterated by Hotaru.

"AS
I WAS SAYING," Hotaru continued. "Rei would make herself queen of
the world, Makoto would make all the guys look like senpai, Minako would use it
to be an idol, and Usagi already has the Imperium Crystal, so it wouldn't
be fair for her to have TWO relics."

"And
you, Hotaru?" Ami asked. "Why not you?"

Hotaru
looked embarrassed. "I might drop it."

Everyone
sweatdropped.

"Well,"
Ami said, looking nervous. "We should get back to Tokyo. If you were
attacked out here, there must be more portals opening up there."

"Do
we HAVE to take the bus again?" Minako whined. "Wufei kept stepping
on my feet."

"INSOLENT
WOMAN!"

Rei
slapped him upside the head. "What IS it with you and your fixation with
yelling 'woman'?!?"

"GET
OFF ME, WOMAN!"

"I'M
NOT ON YOU, BAKA!"

Trowa
whistled again to get everyone's attention. After they quieted, he asked, "Hotaru, do you have a
car?"

"Haruka-papa
has a car and a motorcycle."

"Trowa-san,
none of us can drive," Ami warned him.

The
five pilots looked very smug. "We can drive ANYTHING." Duo told
them proudly. "We're GUNDAM pilots."

Minako
asked him, "What's a Gundam?"

The
five boys had varied expressions of despair. "They're big
robots," Duo told her, "And they're really cool. We get to
blow stuff up."

"That
is not our objective, Duo," Heero said. "Our missions are for the
good of the colonies."

"Yeah,
but we still blow stuff up."

Heero
smacked his forehead.

"Are
we splitting up, then?" Quatre asked the group, looking around.

"That
would be most effective," Heero stated. "Our mission is to seek out
and destroy youmas. This mission has been accepted by the Gundam pilots."

"Um,
okay." Usagi said. "Mamo-chan and I will go on his
motorcycle."

"I'm
with Duo!" Minako shouted, grabbing his arm.

The
others looked around between each other. Heero took charge. "Wufei,
Quatre, you two and Makoto will stay together."

"Nani!"
Mako cried, looking in horror at Wufei.

"I
will not work with a weak woman!"

"Shut
up, plastic hair!"

"INJUSTICE!"

Heero
sighed and looked at Quatre, who was looking like he was about to be shot.
"Try to keep them from killing each other." Quatre nodded
nervously. "Rei and I will take the car."

Rei
grinned.

"Trowa,
you and Ami take the motorcycle."

They
nodded.

"Ami-chan?"
Hotaru asked.

"Hai?"

"The
Timestaff. You use it to send the youmas back to their right time and
place."

"H-hai,"
Ami agreed, looking at the Timestaff.

"Oh,
Trowa, Heero?" Hotaru warned, "If you dent or harm
Haruka-papa's car or bike...." Hotaru drew a finger across her
throat. Heero and Trowa nodded, understanding.





"Lord
Vader," the Stormtrooper captain said formally, "we have been
taking scans of the area, and have determined that we have indeed traveled, not
only through time, but through dimensions. It may be as Kaguya says, that there
is no Galactic Empire here."

"Haw...purr....very
well. You are dismissed."

When
the Captain hesitated, Vader rasped again, "Haw...is there a problem
Captain?"

"No
sir. There is more to report."

"And?
Purr...."

The
Captain made a gesture at two other troopers behind him, carrying a gym bag.
They hurried forward. "The Snow Dancers have been collecting these
thermal detonators throughout the city. They seem to be popping up everywhere.
Kaguya has ordered them to collect anything that has been displaced
temporally."

"Yes.
The Force is strong around them," Vader used his powers to levitate one
of the red and white balls to him. "A thermal detonator?" he mused.
No, not a detonator...but something far more frightening....



They
broke up, after Heero and Rei dropped off Quatre, (who was covering his ears)
Makoto and Wufei at the park.

Heero
and Rei began to cruise along, until Heero began to get bored. "Rei, is
there a particular base that these youmas live? Can it be destroyed?"

"A
base? No. They usually just show up."

"You
mean you don't go to them?"

"Uh,
no?"

"Then
we just drive and wait for THEM?"

"Yeah,
pretty much."

Heero
growled. He didn't like this. He wanted to DO something.



Trowa
and Ami were speeding along easily in Haruka's motorcycle, Ami carrying
the Timestaff along side them in one hand, the other around Trowa's waist
as she held on. They had decided to patrol the streets. Apparently, until
Setsuna woke up and reformed the timestream, she could send them back, but not
much more. "Anywhere in particular?" Trowa called over his shoulder
through the wind.

"No.
Just keep going."

It
was getting a bit boring as they searched, but then, no news was good news. No
youma, nothing to report. Ami tapped Trowa on the shoulder. "Let's
slow down."

Trowa
slowed the motorcycle.

Ami
looked back and forth, searching for anything. They passed three very confused
looking girls, one in red, one in blue, and one in green. The one in blue was
shouting at what appeared to be a very large marshmallow. Ami shook her head,
thinking of Rei. They soared past, and Ami drew out her computer, and began to
search for distortions. "Trowa! Wait!"

He
slammed on the brakes. "Find something?"

"Back
a bit. A distortion on the screen."

He
twisted around and looked at what Ami was seeing. He wheeled back and spun the
bike, shifting up gears as they tracked. A black portal was closing as they
reached it, a very large blob of SOMETHING beginning to examine its
surroundings, which happened to be an alleyway. It spotted Trowa and Ami and
threw out its arms, which extended, looking like mud.

The
bike went out from under them as Trowa dodged, sending them both rolling.

"Trowa?"

"Ami?
Are you all right?"

"Hai."

They
looked at the youma.

"Where's
the Bat?" the clay man demanded, shouting.

"The
Bat?" Ami asked.

"BATMAN!
Where is he?"

"Who
ARE you?"

"Clayface!"

Trowa
shook his head. "Weird," he muttered.

"If
I can't kill him, then I'll kill you!" Clayface's arm
suddenly became a sword, and he began a lumbering charge at Trowa, who just
backflipped over him.

"What?"
Clayface spun, searching.

"Ami!
Get the Staff!"

"Hai!"
She broke into a run for it, where it had skittered several yards away.

Clayface
wasn't particularly stupid, and when the enemy wanted something in the
middle of a fight, he probably wouldn't want them to have it. "No
you don't!"

Another
stream of mud slung out of his arm, and hit Ami in the side, flinging her into
the brick wall with a hard thud.

"Didn't
anyone teach you to be gentle with a lady?" Trowa drew his gun, shooting
into the mud man's back, but Clayface just absorbed the bullets. Ami
kicked and fought with the mud pinning her there as Trowa searched for a more
useful weapon than his empty clip.

"Mercury
Crystal Power! Make-UP!"

The
henshin sequence began, and Clayface staggered back as the light hit him in the
eyes. Moments later, Sailor Mercury called, "Shine Snow Illusion!"
Her hands actually within Clayface's arm, the ice spread all the way up,
and Trowa took the chance, leaping and shattering the ice, sending Clayface
reeling into the wall.

Mercury
dropped to the ground, and began to head for the Timestaff again. She heard a
strangled gasp as she grabbed it, turning to see Trowa getting lifted off the
ground by the youma, not struggling, but staring fearlessly at the monster.

"Let
him go!" Mercury cried, lifting the Timestaff above her, preparing her
attack.

"Fire
Arrow!"

"Nani?"
Mercury spun around. That wasn't Mars' attack. It sure looked like
it though. Behind her stood the three girls they had passed earlier, the one in
red bringing a sword down from the air. The multiple strands of arrow were hitting
Clayface, baking him. Trowa landed a kick to the giant hand holding him,
breaking it. He landed neatly, rolling out of the way.

"Let's
finish this," the girl in blue huffed, tossing a length of hair over her
shoulder. "Water Dragon!"

A
giant stream of water in the shape of a dragon charged out from her hand,
blasting Clayface and sending him into several globs in the alleyway.

"Thanks,"
Mercury managed, staring at them.

"No
problem!" The one in red said cheerfully, waving.

"Hikaru,
we'd better leave," the green one urged the smaller girl along.

"Aw,
Fuu...."

"Come
ON," the blue girl said, pulling Hikaru along.

"Wait!"
Mercury called, but they had turned and run away.

"Let
them go," Trowa advised. "You don't know them?"

"No."

"More
transfers?"

"Probably."

"I
am going to KILL whoever just...." Mercury and Trowa turned around to see
Clayface reforming in the alley, bits of scattered mud joining together.

"Ahem,"
Mercury held the Timestaff above her. She closed her eyes a moment,
concentrating, then opened them again, poised and ready, watching Clayface pull
the last of himself together. "Timeriver Return."

Out
of the Orb, misty ribbons of water sped, encasing Clayface as he roared
pointlessly at the attack. A moment later, the alley was empty. Mercury was smiling
at Trowa. "That was fun."

"Shall
we continue our search?"

"Hai."

She
detransformed, and after her helped her onto the back seat, they were off
again.



Heero
and Rei had parked the car, and were wandering around downtown Tokyo aimlessly.
Heero's face was blank (as usual) as Rei was wandering around in a toy
store of all things, pointing out cute stuffed animals as she went. "Oh,
isn't this one KAWAII?" Rei held up a teddy bear with a bow.
"Heero! Look!"

"I
do not like shopping. We should be fulfilling our mission."

"Our
mission? Heero, we don't know where the youmas are. Just relax."

"What
is relax?"

Rei
sweatdropped. "You have no life, do you?"

"No."

"What
about that girlfriend Duo mentioned?"

"Relena
is not my girlfriend."

"Then
why did you get so upset when he brought her up?" Heero just glowered at
her. Rei sighed and pushed the teddy bear at him. "Get it for her."

"I
am not going to buy a stuffed bear."

"Heero,
you're too serious."

"I
want to continue my mission."

Rei
shook her head, setting the bear back down.

"AHHHHHH!!!"

On
cue, Heero and Rei turned, running. "Mars Crystal Power! Make-UP!"

They
charged though the front door, running full tilt. They froze as they watched
one of the trees lining the sidewalk finish uprooting itself, and say,
"Makuji!"

Mars
gasped as she leapt onto the hood of a car. "You're that youma that
tried to steal my heart crystal! Ooooh, you are gonna PAY! I am Sailor Mars,
and on behalf of the planet Mars, I will-!"

BANG!

Makuji's
eyes rolled up into her head and she fell backward, a hole in the middle of her
forehead. Mars turned and stared at Heero, who was literally holding a smoking
gun. He began to do that weird Heero 'I got to kill something'
laugh, then got quiet again.

"HEERO!
You shot her in the head!"

"Yeah."

"Well..well...you..you
can't DO that!"

"Why
not?"

"Because...you
have to give a SPEECH first!"

"Why?"

"Because
you HAVE TO!"

Heero
just grunted and began to walk down the street.

Mars
sighed, shaking her head. "Men."





"I
don't see why WE got stuck with the bus," Minako complained.
"I hate public transportation."

"Well,
we're not on the bus anymore, Minako."

"Yeah,"
she sighed, looking up dreamily. "We're at the mall."

"Why
did you want to come to the mall to look for monsters?"

Minako
grinned, taking Duo's arm and steering him down the hall. "Because
the mall is FUN! And weird people come to the mall. See?" She pointed at
a man wearing a diaper and strolling around, much to the gawking of other
customers. She angled Duo into a bookstore.

"You
want to buy a book?"

"Oh,
no! They have manga! I want to see if the new Sailor V is out."

"Who's
Sailor V?"

Minako
grinned evilly, and whispered in his ear, "Me."

"You
get your own comic book?"

"Un!
And movies, and posters, and all kinds of cool stuff!"

"I
want my own comic book!"

Minako
laughed, and buried herself in the comics section with graphic novels. Half an
hour later, Duo managed to drag Minako away from her Sailor V book, and they headed
for the food court, grabbing a nacho pretzel on the way. Around a mouthful of
pretzel, Duo asked, "Are you sure we shouldn't be looking for
monsters?"

The
people at the next table looked over their shoulders, giving Duo a weird look.
Minako hissed, "Duo, keep it down."

"Sorry.
But shouldn't we be?"

Minako
didn't look too worried. "Nah. They'll find us-"

"AHHHH!!!"

"Right
about now."

"Do
people always start screaming like that?"

"Hai!
Henshin yo! Ja ne!" Minako ran off towards the bathrooms.

"You're
going to go to the bathroom NOW?!? Minako! Come back! Ah, damn!" he
turned, running for the screaming, drawing his gun as he went.

In
the middle of the food court, three cyborg looking people were standing, their
skin shades of grey and purple, veins bulging where not covered in metal. From
one of their eyes, a tiny red lazer swept around, and they began to break
apart, moving towards the quickly vacating tables of screaming people.

Duo
slid to a stop, gun pointing at the youma. "Okay, whatever you are.
Uh...don't move!" The three just stared at him, the lazer hitting
him in the face.

"Stop
right there! I am Sailor Venus, Champion of Love and Beauty, and I will not let
you cause harm to these innocent people! On behalf of the planet Venus, I will
punish you!"

She
struck a pose, and Duo shouted, "I want a speech!"

"Then
say one!"

"Really?
Cool! THE GOD OF DEATH IS BACK FROM HELL!!! Bwahahaha!"

"That's
not a speech!"

"It
is now!"

Cutting
off any further argument, a VOICE echoes from the ceiling, sounding very
frightening and scary. "We are the Borg. You will be assimilated. Your
knowledge will be added to our collective. Resistance is futile."

"Where'd
that come from?" Duo began to look at the ceiling. "Is there
someone up there?"

"I
don't think so. But that line could get real old real fast. Don't
you think you could have something
more creative?"

One
of the drones stepped forward, the little spinning hook on the end of its arm
clicking at them. "Creativity is not in our programming. I am zero two of
unimatrix...."

The
Borg didn't finish. "YOU'RE zero two? I'M zero two!
That 's not fair!"

"Duo,
we can't send it back, so just shoot it."

"Yeah,
whatever," Duo took aim and shot zero two in the eyepiece. Zero two fell
over, shaking and then going limp. The two other Borg began to move forward.
Duo shot again, but shields began to form around them. "They can do that?
Hey, that's no fair!"

"Venus
Love-me Chain!"

The
line of hearts sliced through the air, and went through the first of the drones
armoring, piercing the heart.

"All
right, V-babe!"

Venus
bowed politely as the third drone began to approach. Duo backed up a bit closer
to Venus. "Venus Love-me Chain!" she cried again. This time, the
armor blocked it. "Uhh..." Venus stammered. "Crescent
Beam!" Again, the attack was blocked. Venus and Duo were backing up
further as the drone brought up an arm. "Venus Love and Beauty
Shock!"

Still
no effect.

"Um,
Duo?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm
out of attacks."

"Running
away sounds good."

"AHHHH!!!"


They
ran down the escalators, heading for the center mall. "At least it moves
slow!" Venus called to Duo.

"Venus!
Look!" he pointed at some modern sculpture that was decorating the center
mall.



When
the Borg drone finally made its way to them, it focused in on Duo, who was
casually leaning up against a pillar. Duo waved. "Hey, you bucket of
bolts! I'm over here! You're more worthless than a Leo! I'm
gonna use you for parts for Deathscythe Hell! You hear me? You call yourself a
monster? Come on! Lemme have it! You probably can't even shoot anything,
loser! Wufei would call you a weakling, you walking tin can!"

The
Borg began to walk stiffly forward, a pair of prongs extending from its arm.
"You will be assimilated. Resistance is...."

"Crescent
Beam!"

There
was the sound of metal crushing, and the hot smell of molten iron as
Venus's lazer cut through the bottom of the towering sculpture, sending
it crashing down on top of the final drone with a sickening crunch.

"Duo,
you're brilliant!" Venus cried happily as she leapt out from behind
a potted plant. She kissed him happily on the mouth, and Duo's eyes
bugged out for a moment. Venus blinked, realizing what she was doing, then drew
back, blushing.

After
a moment, he asked, "Do you want to do that again?"

She
stared for a moment at him, then nodded very slowly.





Usagi
and Mamoru were sitting in front of Tokyo Tower on a park bench.
"Mamo-chan. We haven't found anything, and I'm hungry."

"You're
always hungry."

"Mamo-chan!"
Usagi tugged at his arm. "It takes a lot of food to keep me strong enough
to be a Champion of Justice!"

Mamoru
sighed, shaking his head. He should be used to this by now, and he was, but
sometimes Usagi and her bottomless pit of a stomach could empty his wallet
faster than a credit card bill. "What do you want?"

"Orange
chicken from Little China Express!"

"All
right. Come on...Usako, look." Mamoru pointed at three figures who were
walking towards them. Two of the figures were hanging back from the one in the
lead, who was cackling quietly to himself.

"Hehheh...heh.
Heh," the figure was shaking, eyes inverted and focused on the ground.

"Quatre-san?"
Usagi asked worriedly, and when the boy didn't answer, she looked at
Makoto and Wufei, who were looking very scared. "Mako-chan, what happened
to Quatre-san?"

Makoto
went pale, and Wufei hid behind her.

"Ah,
we didn't know...." Makoto stammered to begin.

"THEY
SHOULDN'T BE FIGHTING AT ALL!!!! " Quatre screamed,
"WE'RE ON THE SAME SIDE! IDIOTS!"

Wufei
peered out from behind Makoto. "Uh, Usagi, Mamoru. Quatre...he gets a
little psychotic now and then."

Wide
eyed, they watched Quatre walk around in a daze, then find a couple in the
park, and begin to lecture them on the evils of war.

"We
fought a youma...and uh," Makoto gestured weakly at Quatre. "And
then this."

Mamoru
frowned at them. "Were you two fighting again?"

Makoto
and Wufei hung their heads.

Quatre
began to laugh maniacally again, causing the couple to turn and run off
screaming from the possessed Gundam pilot. Quatre began to look around for a
new person to lecture about pacifism. He found it all right, flying above him
and straight into Tokyo Tower.

"A
monster!" he yelled, and ran straight for the building, flinging open the
doors and running inside. "I won't let it kill more people!"

"Mako-chan!
Henshin yo!"

"Hai!
Jupiter Crystal Power! Make-UP!"

"Moon
Crisis! Make-UP!"

Mamoru
drew out his rose, and transformed silently.

Wufei
just drew out his sword.

Jupiter,
on her way in, flipped on her communicator. "Rei-chan! Minako-chan!
Ami-chan!"

Rei's
worried face popped into view. "Jupiter? Where?"

"Tokyo
Tower!"

"On
our way!"

A
moment later, the image switched, and the scrambled view of something moved out
of the viewscreen. "Jupiter?" Minako appeared, looking a bit
flushed. "Nani?"

"Youma.
Tokyo Tower. Could be a base."

"Now?"

"Yes,
now!"

"Hai...."

The
comm beeped as Ami came onto screen, hair flying around her head, as she was
riding on the motorcycle. "Jupiter! Trowa and I are on our way!"

"Hai!"

"Mercury
out!"



Ami
flipped the communicator to a close, and as Trowa cut a sharp turn down a
narrow street, she called out, "Mercury Crystal Power! Make-UP!"

Trowa
nearly leapt out of his seat at the strange feeling that Ami's
transformation caused against his back. They sped down into Tokyo Tower's
courtyard, Trowa kicking the motorcycle into park and leaping off, followed by
Sailor Mercury. From within the structure, a beam of light blasted though the
ceiling, accompanied by a "Moon Gorgeous Mediation!"

"Sailor
Moon!" Mercury began to run forward, then stopped.

"What
is it?"

Mercury
frowned, then tapped her visor, sliding it across her eyes. "We've
had to fight in Tokyo Tower before. If that's the enemy base, then we
should be careful. There's got to be a back way in."

"When
dealing with a unknown enemy, the element of surprise is highly
advantageous."

"Hai.
I have it. Let's go."





Heero,
it seemed, liked to drive like a maniac. The freshly transformed Sailor Mars
staggered out of the passenger seat, looking dizzy. "Does Haruka's
car look like an ambulance to you? Three red lights...."

"The
battle has begun without us. We should...."

Green
leaves blew out another window, followed by an electric charge.

"Jupiter!"
Mars broke into a run, high heels clipping against the ground.

"Wait!"

"Fire
Soul!" Mars burned open the front doors, which were now covered in ice.
"I'm coming!"

"Baka,"
Heero muttered. "Now they know we're here."



Inside,
there was quite a bit of cackling going on. Somehow, Quatre had gotten ahold of
a metal pipe, and was trying very hard, (and with moderate success) to clobber
the attacking Snow Dancers. His insane laughter was mixing with the weird
giggling of the Snow Dancers, and the very loud screeching of Kaguya-hime, who
was towering over her minions, urging them on. The entire inside of Tokyo Tower
was a freezer, ice hanging everywhere.

"The
universe is all mine! Bwahahaha!!!"

"Oh,
would you get OVER it already?!?" Sailor Moon shouted back.
"We're not one of your accessories!"

"You
won't stop me this time!!!"

"Wanna
bet?" Sailor Moon went straight for the Imperium Silver Crystal.
"To a world that nurtures life!"

"Sailor
Moon!" Mars shouted as she burst in. "No! You'll die
again!"

Heero
looked at her. "How many times has she died?"

"A
lot."

"As
many as me?"

"I
don't know. How many times did you die?"

"I
lost count."

"Oh.
Well, she usually dies once or twice every year or so."

Kaguya
was yawning. "Sailor Moon, are your friends done chatting? I want to turn
the world into a popcicle TODAY."

"All
right, all right. To a world that..."

"Sailor
Moon!" This time it was
Tuxedo Kamen.

"NANI?"

"You
can't form the Legendary Power of Hope and Friendship without ALL the
senshi, and there's a bunch not here!"

"Oh."

"Oh,
hohoho! Fight me on your own, you little girl!"

"You
got it, hentai hime!"

"I
am not a hentai!"

"You're
not wearing a shirt!"

"I'm
made of ICE! I don't NEED a shirt!"

"Whatever.
Moon Gorgeous Meditation!"

Kaguya-hime
drew her cold power around her, and blasted Sailor Moon's attack back,
sending Sailor Moon flying. Again.

"Mars!
Minna!" Jupiter called. "Together!"

"Hai!"

"Jupiter
Oak Evolution!"

"Mars
Flame Sniper!"

Heero:
"...!"

Wufei:
"AHHHHH!!!"

Quatre:
"Bwahahahaa! Kill, kill, kill!!!"

Tuxedo
Kamen: The beauty of the winter will not be corrupted by the malice of the cold
hearted, but the warmth of the heart will prevail!"

Several
Snow Dancers turned to look at Tuxedo Kamen, and said, "Huh?"

Chunks
of ice started flying as bioelectric leaves, fiery arrows, and bullets flew
around the room. Wufei carved one of the Snow Dancers into a pretty ice
sculpture of Nataku with his sword. Quatre just kept on clobbering stuff.
Tuxedo Kamen joined Quatre after a moment, using his cool extending cane thing.


Despite
all this, there were a lot of Snow Dancers in the very little space, and the
fact that Kaguya was randomly blasting ice at people wasn't helping the
good guys. "I am Sailor Moon...and I will not be defeated!" Sailor
Moon was back on her feet, and holding the kaleidoscope before her. "I
will not...lose!"

"Oh,
really? Aghhh!" Kaguya hurled another blast of blue ice at her, and
Sailor Moon leapt out of the way, rolling aside. "You cannot defeat me!
Ahaha!"

From
behind her, a voice called out, "Maybe not, but I can send you
back!"

"Nani?"

Behind
Kaguya, Sailor Mercury and Trowa were standing, Mercury with Pluto's Timestaff
in the air. "Timeriver....Return!"

Around
the Garnet Orb, heavy wreaths of mist and water gathered around it's
glow, and Mercury pointed it straight at Kaguya-hime.

"No...this
light!"

The
blast of lighted water and mist hissed out, striking Kaguya.

"The
same light that brought me here! No! This isn't FAIR!!!"

There
was some more pointless screaming as Kaguya and her ice maiden minions were
sucked back into their proper timeline.



"Mercury-chan!"
Sailor Moon screeched, running over and hugging her friend. "That was so
cool!"

Mercury
smiled and tried not to laugh as everyone started to crowd around, talking at
once. "Well," Mercury managed, "at least everything is back
to normal."

The
ice had gone, and though the windows were still blasted out, everything was
back to normal, telescopes overlooking the bay in place, and carpet swept
clean.

Jupiter
got an idea. "I say we go to Rei's and party!"

"Hey!
Why MY place?"

"We
ALWAYS go to your place!"

Eventually,
they took the elevator downstairs and headed outside, everyone still
chattering. Tuxedo Kamen had to take Quatre's pipe away from him, because
he was trying to bash in Wufei's ice Nataku, which for some reason did
not return with the other Snow Dancers.

It
was during the chatter that Trowa tapped Mercury on the arm and pointed ahead
of them. Mercury's eyes widened, and exclaimed, "Minna!"

Several
sets of eyes moved forward to see what she was staring at. In front of them stood
a man in black, carrying a red glowing lightsaber, flanked by about a dozen
white armored Stormtroopers, blasters leveled and ready.

Sailor
Moon stepped forward. "Who are you?"

"I
am Darth Vader, Jedi Master of the Dark Side."

Sailor
Moon: "Where are you from?"

Vader:
"Far, far away."

Sailor
Moon: "That's descriptive."

Vader:
"I am here to take over the world."

Sailor
Moon: "Who isn't?"

"I
claim this planet for the Galactic Empire, and for..." he hesitated,
thinking. "For myself, since I proclaim myself Emperor."

Jupiter
rolled her eyes. "You and what army?"

"Stormtroopers."

Each
of the armored men slung their blaster rifles behind their backs and drew out
two-toned red and white balls.

"Attack."

The
entire line of Stormtroopers shouted, "I choose you!" and threw
Poke-balls at the soldiers.

Out
of the balls popped bizarre looking creatures, some recognizable, others
looking like mutated animals, and even others not really resembling anything at
all. Only Vader and the Captain did not throw theirs.

A
yellow mouse began to chant, "Pika...pika...pika...." at Tuxedo
Kamen, but didn't get to finish, because a yellow "Crescent
Beam!" blasted it.

"V-babe!"
Mars screeched, pointing a finger accusingly. "You're LATE!"

"Well,
excuse me! I had to take PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION!" Venus and Duo ran into
the senshi and pilot battle line.

"Oh
really? Are you sure you and Duo weren't making out?"

Venus
and Duo turned purple.

Mars
blinked in a amazement. "You mean you WERE making out?!?"

"Squirtle!"

A
shot of water hit Mars in the head and she fell over. "Ow...." she
sat began to crawl up. "A sea-foam green TURTLE? You have GOT to be
kidding me! Burning Mandala!"

Ja
ne, Squirtle.



Arbok
had gotten itself wrapped around Duo, and Venus called out, "Venus
Love-me Chain!" to rescue him.

Sailor
Moon and Tuxedo Kamen were double teaming Geodude, who had picked up Sailor
Moon and thrown her into a nearby tree. A florist shop full of roses torpedoed
the armed rock, and began exploding.

Blastoise,
Starmie and Wheezing were chasing Jupiter, Heero (who had just run out of
bullets) and Wufei around in circles. Polywhirl was trying to hypnotize Mercury
and Trowa into giving it the Garnet Scepter, but they were trying to resist.

Quatre
was being backed up into a tree by Persian, who was roaring at him. Quatre
tried to wack it on the head with his pipe, (which he had gotten back from
Tuxedo Kamen when he started fighting) but it leapt out of reach, and then
sprung at Quatre again, who had no time to react.

"Silence
Wall!"

Persian
hit an invisible wall, and dropped unconscious to the ground.

Sailor
Saturn stepped up beside Quatre, who was staring at the cat. "Are you all
right, Quatre?" She leaned against the Silence Glaive.

"I
thought you were staying home to take care of the others."

"It
was quiet. So I came here. To help protect my friends."

"You're
so little though."

Saturn
shrugged. "Maybe. But I can still fight. Come on."

He
stared at her a moment, then his eyes returned to normal, and he nodded as they
joined the fight.

Slowly
but steadily, the senshi and pilots prevailed over the rampant Pokemon, either
knocking them unconscious and sending them back to their Poke-balls or just
blowing them up.

The
Captain of the Stormtroopers finally stepped forward and threw his Poke-ball.
"I choose you, Jigglypuff!" A pink marshmallow popped out of the
ball, and exclaimed,

"Jigglypuff!"

Wufei
snorted. "That is a WEAK weapon!"

"Ooooh!"
Sailor Moon exclaimed. "It's so kawaii!"

The
Captain told the Pokemon, "Sing, Jigglypuff! Sing!"

"Jiggggggggllllyyyyypuuuuufffffff....."
It began to repeat the slow song of its name over and over and over and over
and over again. "Jiiiiiggggglllyyyypuuuuffff...."

Duo
and Venus fell flat on their faces and began to snore.

A
moment later, Wufei, Quatre, Jupiter and Saturn began to stagger down, covering
their ears. "Make it stop!" Mars screamed, trying not to listen as
she too began to fall down. "Make it stop!"

"Usako!
Don't sleep!" Tuxedo Kamen tried in vain to hold Sailor Moon up,
himself falling to his knees. Mercury and Trowa were on their hands and knees. Heero, though, appeared to be
doing some sort of mind control thing, and was still standing with his eyes
plastered wide open.

"Mamo-chan...I'm
so sleeeeeeeeepppieeeee....."

"Sailor...Moon...."
Mercury breathed as her eyes began to droop. "Sing...."

"Sing...?"

Tuxedo
Kamen fell over, unconscious. "Mamo-chan? Tuxedo Kamen-sama?" She
turned her head and saw Mercury and Trowa sprawled out a few feet away, both
asleep, and Heero just beyond them, wavering in his weird trance.
"Sing?" Sleepily, she giggled, and began, "Gomen ne sunao ja
nakute...Yume no naka nkara ieru..." Under her, she felt Tuxedo Kamen flinch
at the discord in her voice. "Shiko kairo washohto sunzen...Ima sugu,
altai yo."

She
sang, and got louder with each verse. There were groans from the other soldiers
as they began to wake up to a sound more unpleasant than an alarm on the first
day of school. Sailor Moon was getting into it now, and was belting the lines,
much to the discomfort of Jigglypuff, who kept trying to sing into its little
microphone.

"Nakitaku
naru yona 'moonlight!'

Denwa
mo dekinai 'midnight!'

Datte
junjyoh doushiyou

Haato
wa mangekyo!"

Sailor
Mars was screaming, "Make it stop! Make it stop!" again covering
her ears, but now about Sailor Moon's extremely BAD singing voice.

Heero
snapped out of his trance, and karate-chopped Jigglypuff, winning the match.

"TSUKI
NO HIKARI NI MICHIBIKARE!

NANDO
MO MEGURIAU!

SEIZA
MO MATATAKU!"

Tuxedo
Kamen got a hand over Sailor Moon's mouth and made it stop.



"Aw,
Tuxedo Kamen-sama! I was having fun!"

"Sailor
Moon, you were going to kill everyone."

The
others were now back on their feet.

"That
is a powerful voice you have, Sailor Moon," Darth Vader said, drawing at
last his own Pokeball. "But it will have no effect on this Pokemon. I
choose..." he threw the ball.

"Charizard!"
The orangey-yellow dragon popped out of the ball, towering over everyone else.

"Attack."

"Char!"


A
stream of fire blew out of Charizard's mouth, aimed straight at Sailor
Moon, who was (of course!) pushed out of the way by Tuxedo Kamen. Everyone
broke into a panic as Charizard began to stomp around them, then took off,
flying around in circles trying to set everything on fire.

"Silence
Wall!" Saturn created her defensive wall, shielding herself, Quatre,
Jupiter and Duo. Venus ran out and tried a Crescent Beam, but it only grazed
Charizard's side, making him madder.

"Venus!"
Mercury cried, and began to bring her arms up to negate Charizard's
oncoming fireball. "Shine...."

"Winds
of Protection!"

Green
winds flew out around Venus and the nearby Mercury and Trowa. Charizard's
flames blasted the barrier, bouncing off and back. Everyone turned around to
see three very BIG robots flying down to them, landing just behind the battle
line.

"IT'S
A GUNDAM!!!" Duo shouted, then turned and grinned at Quatre who was
staring at him for his exclamation. "I ALWAYS wanted to say that!"

Quatre
sweatdropped.

"We'll
take care of this!" a voice echoed out from inside the center,
fire-winged mobile suit. "Umi! Fuu! Ready?"

"Hai!"


Together,
the three Gundams' voices called out, "Light....SPIRAL!"

A
ray of light from each blasted out, wrapping around the others, and hitting
Charizard full in the chest.

Ja
ne, Charizard.



From
the chests of each other Gundams, a beam of colored light was emitted, and on
the ground a girl in intricate armor stood, one in red, one in green, one in
blue. They reached for the jeweled gloves on their wrists, and drew out a sword
each, ready for battle.

"WOMEN!"
Wufei shouted, angrily. "Women can't pilot Gundams!
INJUSTICE!!!"

The
one in blue, Umi, wheeled on him. "THEY'RE NOT GUNDAMS!
They're MASHINS, and
DON'T YOU DARE MAKE FUN OF CELES!"

Wufei
paled.

"Are
you done with your introductions?" Vader asked as the Stormtroopers
readied their blasters again.

"Mercury,"
Trowa said, looking at Vader.

"Hai,"
Mercury agreed.

"Timeriver...."

Vader
saw what she was doing, and, using the Force, knew she could send him back. He
lifted a hand, and manipulated his power to grab at the Timestaff. Mercury
jerked as he tried to wrench it from her grip. She dug her heels into the
ground, and found a moment later that Trowa was adding his strength to her own,
helping her to pull it back. They slid forward under the force (no pun intended)
of Vader's power.

"Sailor...Moon!"
Mercury called.

Sailor
Moon noticed Mercury and Trowa's predicament, and brought up the Moon
Kaleidoscope. "Hold it right there, Darth Vader! I am Sailor Moon,
Champion of Love and Justice! And on behalf of the Moon, I will punish
you!"

Vader
just ignored her and continued to concentrate on Mercury.

The
Captain of the Stormtroopers, however, ordered the troops to attack. Blaster
fire shot across the space between them as everyone took cover.

"Silence
Wall!"

"Winds
of Protection!"

The
lazer fire ricocheted off the barriers, zooming out into the air.

"Sailor
Mercury!" Vader called to her.

"Nani?"
She tugged harder on the Timestaff.

"Sailor
Mercury, I am your FATHER!"

Mercury
looked up, puzzled. "No you're not. My dad left a long time ago,
but I know he's not an evil warlord from another dimension."

"Haw...purr..oh.
Trowa Barton...."

"Don't
even try it."

Darth
Vader switched tactics. "Sailor Mercury, come over to the Dark Side. You
will be given power...."

"I
HAVE power," Mercury said through gritted teeth.

"Everyone
thinks you're weak...."

"I
am not weak!"

"Ha.
Haha. Hahahahaha! Kaguya was right! Laughing is FUN!"

"You
want to laugh? Laugh at this! Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!" Through the
connection of the Force, the ice blew Vader off his feet, breaking the
connection between them. "Time to end this! Timeriver Return!"



Everything
was quite a mess in the area before Tokyo Tower. Five Gundam pilots, six Sailor Senshi, one Tuxedo Kamen,
three Magic Knights, three Mashins, and a LOT of damage.

"That
was so cool," Duo said, admiring the general destruction.

Everyone
other than Duo sweatdropped.

"Pu,
Pu pu pu PU!" A white ball of fluff came bounding out of the shrubbery
and flung itself at the red haired Magic Knight.

"AHHH!!!"
Sailor Moon screamed. "Mercury! It's another POKEMON! GET
IT!"

"Sailor
Moon, I think that it...."

The
girl grinned, and hugged the white marshmallow. "It's okay.
Mokona's with us! I'm Hikaru!"

Another
LONGER round of introductions went around. The girl in green was Fuu, the girl
in blue was Umi, and Hikaru's Mashin was Rayearth, Fuu's Windom,
and Umi's Celes.

"Minna?"
Saturn began as she heard some sirens approaching in the distance.
"Minna? I think that...." she sighed, rolling her eyes. "No
one ever listens to me unless I'm about to destroy the universe. Death
Reborn...."

"AHHHHH!!!!"

"Are
you listening now?"

A
collective "Hai!" or "Yes!" was shouted from everyone,
except the Magic Knights, because they had just gotten there and didn't
know Saturn could destroy the universe yet.

"The
police are coming. Can't you hear them?"

Everyone
listened, and heard the distinctive wail of sirens. "Time to
leave," Heero decided, heading back to the car.

"Leave
where?" Sailor Moon asked everyone.

"Well,"
Mars said grumpily, "my place. As ALWAYS."

Jupiter
frowned. "We wouldn't all FIT at my apartment!"

"SOME
of us-!"

Quatre
began to cackle, and they shut up, looking nervous. Quatre then stopped and
smiled for real. "Hey, if Hotaru can threaten the universe, I can pretend
to go crazy."

Wufei
sneered at the three towering Mashins. "Where are you three going to hide
those FAKE Gundams?"

The
three girls turned around, facing their Mashin, and the center gem on their
breastplate began to glow. Their respective Mashin suddenly glowed and grew
small, sucked into the gem. Hikaru beamed, Fuu smiled shyly, and Umi just
downright smirked at Wufei.

"Can
we GO?" Duo demanded impatiently.



It
was an interesting trip to Sendai Hill temple. Heero drove Haruka's car,
Rei tried shoving Umi aside for shotgun, and got Water Dragon-ed out of the
way, since Umi didn't have to power up to use her magic. That sent Rei
into a frenzy of "Ako Ryo Tai San's" and Fuu silently slipped
into the side seat, sticking Rei and Umi both in the back. Hikaru was squished
into the door, clutching Mokona, who was Pu-pu-pu-ing like crazy. Heero wanted
to have nervous breakdown, but since he was the invincible HEERO he couldn't.


"Heero-san?
What are you looking for?" Fuu asked politely when Heero began to look
for something on the dashboard.

"A
self-detonate button."



"You
mean you HOT WIRED Setsuna's car?"

Hotaru
grinned. "She hides the keys from Haruka-papa, because of how Haruka
drives, and doesn't tell anyone where she puts them."

Minako
was staring at the little soldier of death and destruction.
"Unbelievable. Haruka-san taught you?"

"Hai."

It
was a practical, family sized Toyota. "Hotaru-chan, I don't think
you should drive it back," Makoto told her. "I can't believe
you got it here."

Hotaru
looked a little mischievous. "I do other things than collect
lamps."

"Like
what? Fly airplanes?"

"Helicopters."

"Nani?"

"Nothing."


"Can
I drive?" Duo asked.

Quatre
and Wufei: "NO!"

The
girls looked at the boys. "Why?" Minako asked.

"Because
Duo...." Quatre began uncertainly.

"Drives
like a LUNATIC!" Wufei finished. "I will drive! I would NEVER drive
Nataku the way he drives Deathscythe!"

"What's
wrong with how I drive Deathscythe?"

"Death
Reborn...."

"AHHHH!"

"Quatre
will drive," Hotaru decided. "Hopefully we will all fit."



Mamoru
and Usagi had taken Mamoru's bike, and Trowa still had Haruka's
motorcycle, so he and Ami just kept to that. The bikers arrived first, Heero
hot on their heels, since he wanted to get away from the screaming Rei and Umi.
Another fifteen minutes later, Setsuna's Toyota pulled VERY SLOWLY into
the temple, since Quatre was driving, everyone piling out.

Ami
murmured, "They look like they're in a clown car."

"Those
aren't so bad, actually," Trowa commented.

"Nani?"

"Um,
never mind."



Eventually,
through discussion, (much of it very loud) it was decided that the boys would
stay at Mamoru's apartment, and all the girls would have a sleepover at
Rei's.



Fuu
expressed some concern about their staying their any longer, since they had just
completed the battle with Zagato, and still needed to save Cephiro and Princess
Emeraude. Ami had thoughtfully told her that she was certain that they would be
returned to the exact same second they left. Heero had the same worry, and that
now solved, they broke up, deciding to meet again the next day to be sent back.
Hotaru called home, getting a slightly groggy Michiru, and explained where she
was. Michiru was still a bit hung over, and didn't ask how she got there,
but understood she was at a senshi's house, and hung up.

Most
of the girl's evening was chatting. Hikaru and Usagi seemed to be having
a 'lets see who can be cheerful the longest' contest, Fuu and Ami
were discussing quantum physics or something reeeeaaaallly complicated because
no one else had a clue what they were talking about, and Makoto and Umi
discovered that they each liked to cook, and ended up taking over Rei's
kitchen. Grandpa and Yuuichirou had run away to hide in the temple because of
the overdose of estrogen in their house.

Umi
was teaching Makoto her special triple decker raspberry chocolate fudge cake,
and Makoto showing Umi how to make her 'special' meatloaf.

When
Mokona destroyed Umi's cake, in a fit of "Pu-pu-puu"-ing Umi
went ballistic and chased it all over with a pillow, causing Mokona to start
manifesting food from the little jewel in its forehead in order to keep Umi
from killing it.

That
eventually led to the idea for a party the next day.



"Surprise!"

"GAHHH!"
Quatre leapt back and fell into Duo, who fell into Wufei, who fell back to
Heero, who sidestepped, and Trowa, who also got out of the way. Mamoru just
stared.

"You
five are almost as bad as Usagi and her friends."

The
girls had completely redecorated Rei's living room, and tables with food
were sprawled out all over the place, some Mako's, some Umi's, and
a LOT from the terrorized Mokona, who was now in hiding from Umi.

"Hey," a voice called out
from behind Mamoru. "are we invited?"

Haruka,
Michiru and a grumpy looking Setsuna were standing there.

"Come
in! Come in!" Usagi squealed. "Hurry! There's LOTS of
FOOD!"

"And
there won't be if we let her get it all...." Haruka grumbled,
shaking her head and heading inside after the Gundam pilots.

"Mamo-chan!
Eat this!"

Mamoru
had no choice. A cookie was shoved into his face. He prepared to turn green. He
didn't. He actually....swallowed. "Usako? Did you make this?"
Usagi was beaming, and Mamoru snuck a suspicious look at Makoto, who shook her
head and shrugged, saying, 'not me.'

"Hai!
By myself too!"

"Amazing."



"I
have a sword, too," Haruka told Wufei as she stuffed a slice of pie into
her mouth. "It's longer than that, and the grip is more
intricate."

"But
how well made is it? Tempered well?"

"You
could say that. It's the Space Sword."

"I
have a sword too," Fuu said quietly as she approached. "It gets
longer every time my heart grows stronger."

Wufei
sniffed, "Women should not wield swords!"

Haruka
frowned, swallowing her food. "Why not?"

"Women
are weaklings!"

"Oh
YEAH?"

"Why
are you getting mad?"

"I'M
A WOMAN!"

Wufei
stared for about two point five seconds before his eyes rolled up in his head
and he passed out cold.



"Well,"
Hotaru said, "I usually don't like to fight. But there was that one
time I wanted to destroy the universe."

"Yeah,
I see what you mean," Quatre agreed. "I flipped out once on the
Zero System...and wanted to destroy all the colonies...."



"Oh,
Hikaru, you REALLY should use conditioner!" Michiru was urging the
desperately-seeking-salvation Magic Knight. "That braid does NOTHING for
you! You have such pretty pinkish-red hair! It works so well for Duo-san, but
on you it's just too thin, and just sprouts from the rest of your
hair!"

"Mokona!
Mokona needs me! Gotta go, Michiru!"

"Wait!
Let me fix your hair!"



Umi
sighed, finishing the last bit of cake and wiping her mouth delicately.
"Mako-chan, how do we know that that was the last of the youma?"

Makoto
shrugged, putting down a glass of punch. "Well, we fought not one, but
two major enemies yesterday. Usually that means the end of a battle."

"The
rifts are sealed," Setsuna told them as she came to get some punch,
ladling it into a cup. "Time is functioning normally again. The rifts in
the fabric of Space are healed. When you return, all things will be as they
were."

"Hey,
Sets!"

Setsuna
flinched as Haruka slapped her in the back, nearly making her drop the punch.
"Haruka-san, what do you want?"

"You
never answered me. When was the other time you were drunk?"

Setsuna
sweatdropped, slapping her forehead. "Why did you have to remember
that?"

"Because
it's not like you!" Haruka said cheerfully. "When? In the
last century?"

Setsuna
sighed. "You know about the Bermuda Triangle, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well,
it's not just paranoia."

"Really?"



"Heero,
could you come here a minute?" Rei called to Heero, who was frowning at
the fun everyone else was having. Heero looked up at her, and headed over,
following her to the kitchen. "Here," she handed him a stuffed
teddy bear with a bow.

"Huh?"

"For
your girlfriend!" Rei laughed, then looked scolding, waving a finger.
"If you don't, then you will have to deal with the wrath of a very
angry Sailor Mars, and probably Venus if I tell her about it."

"When
did you get this?"

"This
morning before you all arrived," Rei winked. "And believe me,
V-babe and I will get Pluto to give us a timekey to hunt you down if you
don't! So you'd better!"

Heero
continued to frown, but took the bear with him when he left the kitchen.



"I'm
gonna miss youuuuuu!!!!" Minako wailed at Duo, looking about ready to
start sobbing.

"I'm
gonna miss you too."

Stars
in her eyes, Minako whispered, "You will?"

"Well,
yeah!"

"It's
not FAIR!"

"Mina,
come on," Duo took her hand and began to drag her outside.

"Where
are we going?"

Duo
just grinned wickedly.

Minako
got the idea and grinned back, following.

When
they got outside, Duo and Minako both stopped, gawking very openly at what they
saw. Ami and Trowa had apparently beat them to the punch, and were under one of
the good luck trees, not paying much attention to their new audience.

"Oh
my GOD!" Minako shrieked, and Ami and Trowa broke off, looking a LOT like
deer in headlights.

Duo
stared, sweatdropping, (it was a very BIG sweatdrop too) and said, "Well
they SAY it's always the quiet ones, but THIS is a little much."

"Ami-chan!
You're not supposed to be the one hiding out with a guy!"

Ami
just turned purple, and Trowa was slowly turning red. Minako's shrieking
had caused everyone to run outside, the Magic Knights with weapons coming out
of their glove jewels, Heero with his gun drawn, and Usagi, Rei and Haruka
halfway through a henshin. (Wufei had stayed inside because he was still
unconscious)

"NANI?!?!"
Sailor Moon shrieked, staring. "Ami-chan?"

"Ah,
eh heh?" Ami tried to smile weakly, but it didn't really work.

"Ohhhhh...."
Umi sighed dreamily. "Just like Fuu and Ferio!"

"Umi!"
Fuu exclaimed.

"Hmmmm?"


Mokona
then appeared bouncing happily around in front of Ami and Trowa.

"MOKONA!
Get back here! I still have to pay you back for that cake!" Umi leapt
forward, charging after the jiggly white pillow.

Everyone
in the tight space had been leaning on each other to see, and with Umi's
movement, they all pitched forward, spilling outside with a lot of shouting.

Ami
sighed, shaking her head. "Are your friends like this all the time,
too?"

"Only
when we have to work together."





They
all grouped together an hour later, preparing to leave.

"Heero?"
Quatre asked, noticing that he was holding a stuffed animal. "Why the
teddy bear?"

Heero
didn't say anything.

"Oh...all
right. I won't ask."

They
all waved good-bye to the Magic Knights, who were once again in full battle
armor, ready to continue the fight where they left off.

"Setsuna-san,
are you sure you don't want to do it?" Ami asked her.

"You've
done fine. Just send them back."

"Hai.
Bye Hikaru, bye Umi! Bye Mokona! Bye Fuu! Have fun with that lateral thinking
puzzle I gave you!"

"Hai!
Bye, Ami-chan!"

With
a wave, they readied themselves, and Ami held the Timestaff up.
"Timeriver Return."

The
water and light did its job, and they were minus four more misplacements.



The
good-byes with the Gundam pilots had been short, capped off mostly by Duo
deciding he could NOT be outdone by TROWA and dipping Minako for a kiss
good-bye, leaving her looking a bit dazed, red ribbon askew. (Minako walked
around with a sappy grin for the rest of the week) Trowa politely kissed
Ami's hand, causing her to blush (yes, again!) and then returned to the
circle that was forming with the other pilots.

Ami
held up the Timestaff.

"Bye,
Duo!" Minako yelled, "We'll visit!" She blew him a kiss
and did her peace/victory sign.

Rei
shouted, "Heero! Remember what I told you about me and V-babe!"

Makoto
shook her head sadly, but smiled, and said, "Hey, Wufei! Stay
strong!"

"Timeriver...Return!"



"Setsuna-mama?"

"Yes,
Hotaru-chan?"

"I
was wondering, how many drinks did you have to pass out like that?"

Setsuna
frowned, brows furrowing. "Just one."

"One?
But Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama....."

"I
don't know, Hotaru-chan. Last time it took a lot more than that, and I
had never been drunk before."

"That's
strange."

"Yes,
I suppose it is."





Inside
the liquor cabinet at the Outer Senshi house, two white lab mice sat, one
sulking, one staring at the pretty colors that were reflected through the
alcohol. "Pinky,
our plan has failed yet again."

"What's
that, Brain?"

"Our
plan to wreak havoc in the universe, and in the aftermath of the chaos, to rise
and rule the world! Ahahahaha!"

"Brain,
why are you laughing like a hyena all of a sudden?"

Brain
considered that a moment, and shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe
that's why we can never take over the world. We never laugh maniacally
enough."

"I
like to laugh, Brain!"

"I'm
sure you do, Pinky."

Brain
sighed sadly, holding a little pill. "It was perfect, too. I even got it
into the drink. Wasted!" He lobbed the pill at the garbage can.
"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

"I
think so Brain, but why would someone write a book about Bill Clinton from THAT
point of view?"

"I
don't even want to know where your mind is right now, Pinky."

"Oh,
okay! So, Brain, what are we gonna do tonight?"

"Same
thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!"









Disclaimer:



Dear
God, where do I even START? Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi, Chix Comix,
Pocket Mixx, Toei Anime, and unfortunately, DiC Entertainment. Magic Knight
Rayearth belongs to Clamp, who appear to be half animal, (in the manga) sorta
like Hikaru when she gets excited. Gundam Wing belongs to Bandai, and since I
don't feel like getting my manga, I don't know the name of the
person in Japan who made it originally. Clayface belongs to DC Comics. (hey, an
American one!) Pinky and the Brain are Warner Bros., by way of Acme Labs.
Pokemon belongs to someone in Japan who has entirely too much influence over
the minds of young children. Darth Vader belongs to Lucasfilm and George Lucas.
Lord Vader wants me to tell everyone he was very upset with the last kid to
play him, and he wants someone decent in the next movie. The Borg own
themselves, because they assimilated the companies that made them.