Saint Seiya Fan Fiction ❯ Sacrifice ❯ Vanity ( Chapter 1 )

This is a small tribute to the selflessness of human spirit, to love beyond the human condition, to the courage required to break up the attachment to earthly things.

 

A few short stories dedicated to the tragic characters, the ones I'm so deeply fond of.

 

 

SACRIFICE

 

It is time for peace. Shaina's feelings are split between her devotion to the Goddess Athena and her love for Seiya. Maybe is time for her to acknowledge herself… a bit.

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Saint Seiya, nor have I any rights over it. It belongs to Kurumada Sensei (thank you for being so kind and sharing your talent with this fantasy-thirsty world), Shueisha, Toei, and whoever else.

 

I do, though, hold a certain obsession towards some manga/anime creations, SS included.

 

 

1. Vanity

 

 

The morning light announces the beginning of the day as it breaks through the window, and shatters her sleep.

 

It's been three… Five? No… Gods. It must be almost ten years since Athena spoke her last command. Back then, her words were confusing…disturbing…or at least incomprehensible. She gave up her beloved Saints, her devoted champions. She set them free, but they never knew her reasons for retiring from mundane affairs.

 

Now there's nothing left but the bittersweet taste of her words, mingled with salty tears.

 

She knows she'll be waking up alone. The other side of her bed is empty, and it's been so for a couple of hours. Every day she wakes with only a slight hope… maybe this will be the day, maybe he will ask her to join his daily wait for the dawn.

 

He… he won't dare disturb her sleep. She might be awake, but she will pretend to be sleeping, wishing him to stay. She's been going to sleep with him for years now, but always wakes alone.

 

She won't open her eyes yet. She moves her face close to his pillow, then breathes. Her body is shivering and her heart is swollen with longing and joy. The scent fills her, slowly, numbing her senses. She longs for this sensation… it keeps her alive, sane…with just a bit of hope.

 

“Hope. What for?”

 

“Couldn't care less…”

 

She squeezes the pillow, laughing.

 

“So what if the dawn is meant for her?” She thinks. “At night… he is mine. So are his tears and his laughter. She is the one he loves the most, but I'm his solace. He may go out and look for her, but he will come back to me… I'm the one who waits for him.”

 

Her own thoughts are frightening, she realizes… She gasps, reprimanding herself. How dare she consider such a thing? SHE is her Goddess too… The one she's supposed to love, to give her life for!

 

x x x x x

 

Some nights she wakes up in anxiety, the cold sweat running down her forehead.

 

“SEI…!”

 

The scream choked inside her throat is the same scream from all the times she feared losing him for ever. Of every time she sensed his cosmo vanishing, in countless battles, and she felt her heart agonize, shattered in painful impotence… and loss.

 

She is breathing restlessly… “Ahhh!... Ahhh…” It takes some effort to get her breath back to normal. Her heart beats so hard that it hurts.

 

“Shhhh… it's over.” He whispers, his soft voice at her side. He embraces her, kisses her forehead. “Here I am,” he mumbles, “In't going nowhere. Who could be so foolish to get away from this lovely face?” He strokes her cheek while resting his forehead on hers. She closes her eyes, feels his breath, and cuddles into the spot between his neck and shoulder.

 

He is her entire life.

 

And the dream goes on…

 

The cosmo stopped fading, now is rising and growing, and glows with such intensity… no one believed it possible. Everything is done for Her, for the Goddess. It's her cosmo that fuses with his, and with the cosmo of each of his brothers.

 

And thus all of them, the heroes, the Saints of Athena, are the ones who can taste the victory. Sad and sweet victory…it also has the sickening tang of spilt blood. It's the Saint's blood, and his enemy's, and Athena's. They all sacrificed so much for the welfare of humankind. And humankind does not know them, or love them; but the saints don't care, for they have the love of their Goddess… the one thing they have for sure.

 

And now… what? Athena won't listen to them, she won't even see them. All of them would obey, but there's one who will never acknowledge her command…

 

He caresses her hair, whispers a song made of unintelligible words. She falls into the deepest dream, deliciously narcotized by his voice and his scent, and his cosmo so loving and kind.

 

x x x x x

 

She opens her eyes, slowly. The light hurts a little. She wakes up; washes her face with cold water and looks at her own image reflected in the mirror. Not a child anymore, yet she was a child the first time she confessed her love for him.

 

No…Back then… she was not a child. She was a woman, hard-hearted and full of scars. Painful, invisible scars… painfully invisible scars, hidden behind the freshness of her adolescent body. Back then... she felt tired, old… and cracked.

 

But her reflection shows a very different thing. The face she sees in the mirror is the same he often praises. This face is her vanity, the one she gave up and buried under a mask. But despite her efforts, vanity came back to life. Came back and brought with it the needful punishment for its despising: brought a feeling that devours her from inside, a feeling she cannot live without… anymore.

 

And after all, the yearning became reality… she was in his arms, so close to this same body she silently admired time after time. He was burning in unrestrained passion, in desperate need to find the relief to his pain. And he knew she loved him beyond any restriction. She would give everything for him, she would die for him… living for him was not a heavy burden. She offered to him all she had: her life, her death, her soul and body. Everything was worth sacrificing to comfort him, to take away the painful stare from the eyes she loved so dearly.

 

Today she is wearing a white dress. He gave it to her, no special occasion. The garment is light and fresh, just like the ones worn by the young Sicilian girls when they walk the beaches, making Greek sailors sigh. She knows that none of these girls can compare to her. She knows that no man in this land wouldn't proclaim her beauty… and in this dress! Not even he could deny her anything her heart desires.

 

But she could not demand a thing from him. Perhaps she would look for him, like she did in the past, at least when she felt strong enough. She knows where to find him. She could go to his side and ask his permission to sit with him, facing the sun as it rises from the sea waves.

 

x x x x x

 

Before the mirror… again.

 

Vanity… when did it come back? It came back, craving for lost time. She gathers her hair with a couple of white flowers. The sight before her is one of a fresh young woman. She has an upsetting need to deny her own reflection; it just doesn't seem to be right...

 

And suddenly, she realizes. She has changed; at least something inside her has. For the first time since she can remember, she doesn't feel old. Instead, she's like a young girl: fragile, vulnerable, full of illusions…

 

“Aaaah!!!!” She roars, filled by frustration. She falls on her knees, her eyes watering, her face hidden behind her hands.

 

She struggled so much, suffered so much! She prayed to the Goddess to help her be strong, and she thought she finally was…

 

There was a time when she was the most feared, the most hated, the most desired… the strongest woman ever. And her strength happened to be so fragile! It took a single smile to break it down.

 

Her forehead is pressed against the floor, her body curled tight, wishing to be the smallest thing possible, small enough to feel nothing, to fear nothing. She stays still, doesn't know how long. Tears wear out… without their weight her body is lighter than before.

 

The pain is dissipating slowly; she recognizes the warm aura surrounding her… Is She… the Goddess? Only her cosmo can be so caring… reaching her very soul, giving her warmth, soothing her.

 

“What now?”

 

She gets herself together, wipes her eyes with her thumbs, breathes deep… and thinks. “What good comes from being tough?” Nothing… anymore. At least not the same as she used to be. Now the Goddess demands a different kind of strength.

 

There's no need to fight since…

 

It's been many years now.

 

The Goddess has begged them to go on with their lives, to be happy and enjoy the peace they earned after so many battles… for they never know how long this peace will last.

 

Peace can be dreary, if you don't know how to live with it…

 

She walks out, but she's not looking for him. She walks towards the Sanctuary, calmly, her soul light and a smile shining in her face. Her sandals move as if they carry no weight. Athena is waiting for her, she knows… she can feel Her. This time the Goddess is not asking for any sacrifice, but she will bring it willingly. And this time the sacrifice is not blood, death or pain... for these don't please the Goddess.

 

Today, despite her human imperfection, she is capable of immolating her Ego and her attachment to things that are no more, or never were… that don't belong to her. At least for today, she will accept what Athena intends for her… whatever it is.

 

At least for today… she doesn't care.

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: Thank you very much for reading. I hope you guys liked this small mumbling from my head. Please review, any comment or critique will be highly appreciated.