Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Living on Empty ❯ Reunion ( Chapter 12 )

 

 

 

Living on Empty 12

 

 

 

 

 

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Chapter 12

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Kougaiji flies overhead trying to peer into the thick woods looking for any sign of the monk. Sanzo couldn't have gotten very far since he is on foot. He flies lower and spots a cabin that looks uninhabited. He circles around, lands the dragon, and hops off walking over to the door. He peers inside and sees smothering embers. He looks around for any other sign of the monk and seeing none he leaves back out.

 

He gets back on the dragon and takes off. He feels he cannot be more than a few hours behind the monk. If he hurries, he just may overtake him before long. His dragon cries out and he can hear Doku's dragon answer in reply.

 

He looks over his shoulder and can see the youkai not far behind. Damn, if he catches up with him then he will never be able to capture the monk again. He cannot allow Dokugakuji to be with him when he finds Sanzo.

 

He lands close to the river, waits for him to catch up, and leads his dragon to the water. As the animal drinks from the river, he leans against a tree waiting on Doku with his arms folded across his chest.

 

Doku flies in, lands next to the other dragon, and hops off. He walks over to Kougaiji and puts his hands up in front of him. “I know you told me to go back to the castle but you didn't give me a chance to explain why I am here.”

 

Kougaiji glares at him, “You always have an explanation for everything you do when it comes to my business! Why do you feel you can always interfere with me, Dokugaku? I told you before it have nothing to do with you!”

 

“Kou, listen to me! Gojyo and the others are a few miles behind me. They are looking for the monk in these parts too.” He looks at Kou and can see his eyes glowing with anger by the reflection of the full moon.

 

“How do they know he is around here? Did you betray me to your brother, Dokugakuji? Is that what you are telling me? The monk belongs to me and I will not allow that hanyou to have him! I will destroy him before that happens.”

 

Doku grabs the prince by the arm and yells, “Listen to yourself, Kou! Do you know what you're saying! The monk does not belong to you and he doesn't belong to Gojyo either. Sanzo is not an object to hold captive for your own personal use. Get a whole of yourself, Kou! You are not thinking about what you are doing to him. Let him go and come back with me. This is not like you at all.”

 

Kougaiji pushes him back, runs, and jumps on the dragon's back and takes off through the trees leaving Doku alone by the river.

 

He looks up at Kou as he flies away and hops on his dragon and heads back to the palace. He tried talking to him but in the end; it is his decision to make. Kou is in for a world of hurt if Gojyo catches him within ten feet of the monk and if he gets his banishing gun, Sanzo just might kill him.

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Kou keeps flying as he looks down in the brush trying to spot his white robes. He looks behind him but he does not see Doku, so hopefully he went back. He is not going to let him talk him out of finding the monk because he knows Sanzo is just afraid to admit what he feels for him. The last time they were together, he didn't push him away or try to fight him. That had to be his real feelings coming through. I know he can love me if we are given half a chance. I should kill Gojyo and that way he will not have him to go back too. Maybe then when he has no distractions he can see how he really feels about me!'

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Sanzo sleeps fitfully with a chair propped against the door. He is dreaming about being with Gojyo and him not wanting anything to do with him because he gave in to his passion for the prince. Gojyo walks away from him in revulsion that he could give himself to the prince willingly.

 

He tosses on his side as he cries out for Gojyo but he walks away without looking back. Sanzo sits up in bed gasping for breath. He puts his hands to his head as he thinks about that dream coming true. Sometime his dreams are prophetic but this one, he wants too be just a dream and nothing more. His heart is beating fast as he looks around the room. He can hear footsteps as they past his door.

 

It would be just his luck if the prince decides he took refuge in this inn when coming out of the woods. He waits for a moment, when he hears nothing else; he lies back down and tries to think pleasant thoughts before he falls back asleep.

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The owner of the inn knocks on the door and tells Gojyo the other room is ready. He takes the tray out with him as he backs out and hands the key to the tall red-haired ikkou.

 

Gojyo takes the key and tells the others he is going to turn in and leaves out. He walks down the hall, stops, and lights a cigarette outside his room. He is about to go in and changes his mind because he remembers they have a bar downstairs. He throws the keys up, catches them, and heads for the stairs.

 

He walks in the barroom, takes a seat, and orders a drink. The owner's daughter serves him a drink and he gives her one of his infamous smiles out of habit. He takes his drink, turns around at the bar, and looks out into the small crowd. They all look like regulars because it seems like one big happy family.

 

He watches some of the men play poker and thinks about joining them when he hears the owner's daughter say there is another man that is as handsome as the red head. He looks around and thinks they must be talking about him, since he is the only one with red hair. However, he doesn't see anyone that can beat him in looks at the bar. He smiles to himself, at his conceit. When they start speaking again, he leans back subtlety and eavesdrops on their conversation.

 

“I'm telling you he really is handsome, with long blonde hair and with the black clothes he was wearing it made it stand out all that much more. Maybe you will see him in the morning since he doesn't want anyone to know he is here, right now. He may be leaving tomorrow since he didn't have any bags.”

 

“Well I think the one with the red hair and eyes is very handsome. Whoever you're talking about can't be better looking than he is, Maya.”

 

“Oh yeah, wait until you see his eyes! He has amethyst eyes and he is the most handsome man, I have ever seen around these parts.”

 

Gojyo sits up in his seat staring in his drink, and then turns to the two women. They look at him and giggle. He knows he heard correctly, blonde hair and amethyst eyes. He gets up from the bar and is about to walk out and remembers he cannot go knocking on every door in the inn, so he turns back too the women.

 

He swallows and smile at the two of them, “Excuse me ladies, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. Did you say there is a man here with blonde hair and purple eyes?”

 

They look at each other and back at him. The one named Maya looks at him with worry lines on her face, “Please sir, we are not to let anyone know he is here and if my father found out he would be upset with me.”

 

Gojyo chuckles, “Oh, don't worry about that, he will want to see me. We are traveling companions and we were separated a while back. Could you be so kind and tell me what room he is in?”

 

She cocks her head too the side and tells him, “How do I know you are not the one he doesn't want to see?”

 

“Well my dear, I could go upstairs and disturbed all your guests and find him that way or I can knock on one door. Now what is it going to be?” He smiles and leans on the counter looking them in the eyes.

 

She tells him with the promise that he not tell her father and he takes off for the stairs. He takes them two at a time landing on the second floor in a hurry. He runs to the end of the hall and knocks on the door praying that it is Sanzo, on the other side. `God and all that is holy, please let it be him, please let it be him.'

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Sanzo hears knocking in his sleep. He opens his eyes slowly to the sounds and looks around the moonlit room. He sits up and looks for the short sword he took off the ikkou. He gets up, wrapping the sheet around him and walks to the door. He leans on the side of the wall and says, “What do you want?”

 

Gojyo almost shouts for joy, “It's me, Gojyo, open up Sanzo!”

 

Sanzo is on the other side knocking the chair out of the way, as he opens the door. Gojyo rushes in, picks the monk up in his arms, and spins him around, laughing the whole time. Sanzo puts his arms around his shoulders and his face in his neck as he laughs with him.

 

“My god, you are a sight for sore eyes! When did you get here? We were closer to you then we thought. Are you okay; you're not hurt are you! Oh my god, I'm so happy to see you, Sanzo!” He holds the monk tightly in his arms. Sanzo looks at the door and he sees the owner's daughter in the hall. He pulls out of Gojyo's arms and smiles at her as he closes the door; he leans against it and looks over at Gojyo.

 

“Where are Hakkai and Goku?”

 

He walks over to Sanzo and pulls him in his arms, kissing him deeply and passionately.

 

The monk wraps his arms around his waist and tilts his head to the side as he closes his eyes slowly. This is what he has been yearning for, for the longest and now he finally is in Gojyo's arms, once again.

 

Sanzo allows the sheet to slide down pooling on the floor while he pushes the jacket off Gojyo's shoulders. He falls back on the bed as Gojyo falls gently on top of him, kissing every part of his face as the monk laughs. “Gojyo you didn't tell me where the others are. Did you just get here?” He looks up in the hanyou's face and can only see pure love reflected in his crimson eyes.

 

Gojyo kisses his lips and tells him, “We've been here for a couple of hours. They have a room down the hall. Are you okay, Sanzo? You had me so worried; I almost went out of my mind. I just want to hold you like this for a while and then you can tell me what happen. God I've missed you.” He kisses him on his chest and all over his face as he strokes his body to make sure he is really in his arms.

 

“Gojyo, Gojyo are you in there! Open up, Gojyo!”

 

The lovers break apart at the loud knocking at the door. Gojyo looks down at Sanzo as he grabs his robe, pulling it over his head. The hanyou laughs as he goes to the door opening it. Hakkai and Goku fall into the room and come up short as they look at Sanzo. The monkey runs over and jumps around his neck knocking him back on the bed and Hakkai hurries over with his mouth open wide.

 

“Whoa, are you trying to kill me! I can't breathe baka!”

 

“I'm just so happy to finally see you! Where were you? Did Kougaiji take you? Gojyo was so upset; he beat him up so I didn't have too. Are you okay, Sanzo?”

 

Hakkai looks at Sanzo's face and sees him flinch. “Goku! You're asking too many questions at once. Let him rest for a minute, please! There will be time for all that later. Why don't we wait and let him tell us in his own words, okay?”

 

Goku looks up at him and then at Sanzo, “I'm sorry Sanzo, I didn't mean to act like a little kid.”

 

Sanzo lights a cigarette and mumbles, “You are a kid.” He looks up at Gojyo and tells him to close the door. He watches as he does and turns back to Hakkai. “I may need you to check me over. I was drugged and I hope it hasn't had any lasting effects.”

 

Gojyo growls, “That bastard drugged you! That son of a bitch, I'm going to kill him! He's still looking for you, so I know he is somewhere out there.”

 

“Wait, Gojyo! Let it go! I'm fine, so let it go. I…I don't want to think about that right now. I'm just glad to be back with all of you. He…he didn't hurt me and I'm fine. Please, let it go.”

 

The others look at him in surprise and he sits down on the side of the bed. “I just want to forget right now. I can deal with that later, right now I just want to forget…I don't want to think about what happen.”

 

“Hell nah, that bastard is not getting away with pulling this shit! He could have killed you and we would have never known. How can you say, all you want to do is forget! That is unacceptable; Sanzo that bastard has to pay for what he did to you!” The hanyou is breathing heavily as he glares at the priest.

 

Sanzo takes a pull on his cigarette and blows the smoke out as he says, “Hakkai, Goku, leave us along for a while will you? I need to talk to this baka, alone.” He looks at Gojyo through the cloud of smoke swirling around his head.

 

Hakkai looks from one to the other and nods. Goku touches Gojyo's back as they leave and tells them he will be back. Hakkai closes the door and when it clicks, Gojyo looks over at the monk.

 

“What is it you're not telling us? What happen when you were with him?” He walks over and sits besides him.

 

Sanzo takes the cigarette out of his mouth, gets up, and puts it out in the ashtray on the table. He turns to Gojyo and looks down, “Nothing happen. I just want to forget everything and go back to our mission. We have lost valuable time with this and I just want to put it behind me.”

 

The hanyou stands, “So you're saying, you can just forget what he did to you and don't tell me he didn't try anything. That bastard was in seventh heaven when he had you, so I know he at least tried to take you, Sanzo. He had you at his mercy, so don't lie to me.”

 

Sanzo is looking at the floor as he says in an inaudible voice, “I didn't say that.” He turns his head to the side looking towards the moon.

 

Gojyo walks over and put his fingers under the monk's chin lifting his face. “Did he force himself on you? Is that why you want to forget about everything? You have nothing to be ashamed of, Sanzo. It was not your fault; I understand why he wants you. You are a very beautiful man and who in their right mind wouldn't want you. Although he went too far, I am not surprised by his feelings for you. What he did is unforgivable and he shouldn't get away with it. However, I will respect your wishes, okay”

 

Sanzo looks up in his face and whispers, “Thank you, Gojyo. I just want to get some rest right now, if you don't mind.”

 

Gojyo chuckles, “That's understandable, why don't you go back too bed.”

 

He walks out the door leaving him alone and he watches the hanyou in surprise. He thought he would at least try to talk him into staying but it is probably for the best that he leaves him now. He did not deserve to be loved by the hanyou after what he has done.

 

He pulls his robe over his head and after turning out the lights, he crawls back in bed. He puts his arm over his face as he settles down to go to sleep.

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Gojyo opens the door to Hakkai and Goku's room and closes it behind him. He walks in, sits at the table lighting a cigarette as he looks at the both at of them. “I think Sanzo has been through some shit that he can't talk about right now. I don't know what that bastard did to him but I plan on making him pay. He says he wants to forget it but I can't. I told him I will respect his wishes but that rat-faced bastard is paying for what he did to Sanzo.”

 

Goku leans against the wall with his hands folded across his chest. “So what do you plan on doing Gojyo? Whatever it is, count me in.” He looks over at Hakkai and he smiles at the both of them.

 

“I guess if I don't participate, I will regret it the rest of my life, so count me in also. What happen to him was a mistake and I feel Kougaiji should pay for that mistake. If not, he may try it again.” Hakkai has a frown on his face.

 

Gojyo gets up and smile at the both of them, “We don't have to upset Sanzo with any of this, so as far as he is concern we are going to let it drop, agreed?” They both nod and he waves as he opens the door.

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Gojyo opens Sanzo's door and goes in, locking it behind him. He walks over to the bed looking down at him as he sleeps. He is happy to have him back and he can't wait to make love to him but…he seems different somehow. Did Kougaiji hurt him? Did he rape him and now he doesn't think he wants him. He should know it wasn't his fault that sick bastard is obsessed with him. The prince is crazy to believe he can get away with something like this. However, he is going to make him pay. When he gets through with him, he is going to wish he never laid eyes on the monk.

 

He takes his shirt off and drops it on the floor along with his pants. He lifts the covers and eases in besides the monk. Pulling him in his arms, he kisses him on the side of the face and calls his name softly. Sanzo opens his eyes and looks up in his face. He smiles and buries his face in the hanyou's neck. He wraps his arms around him and whispers, “I'm so glad to be in your arms once again. I thought I would never make it here. I'm so sorry Gojyo, please forgive me.” He has his face in his neck as Gojyo strokes the hair out of his face.

 

“Shhh, there is nothing for you to be sorry about. I told you, it's not your fault. Whatever happen, you are not to blame.”

 

He kisses him on the forehead, tilts his face up, and kisses his lips. He slides his tongue inside the monk's mouth tasting him once again as their tongues dual with longing for the other. Gojyo rolls over pulling the monk on top of him and strokes him from his back to his hips.

 

“I've missed you so much Sanzo, I thought I would go crazy. I love you so much and I will make sure that nothing ever happens to you again. I'm never taking my eyes off you, ever again.”

 

Sanzo says against his lips, “Never make promises you can't keep, baka. Just hold me Gojyo, hold me close to you, as if you'll never let me go.”

 

“Gladly, I'll hold you and keep my promise. He'll never get you again and I can promise you that.” He slides down the monk's chest and licks his harden bud and cups his erection. Sanzo moans in the back of his throat as he relishes in the fact he is back where he belongs. He runs his fingers through Gojyo's hair and cries out as he takes his swollen member in his mouth. He rocks his hips forward and groans. This is what he has wanted and now he has it. “Oh Gojyo, I've missed being with you too.”

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Kou walks out of the woods and looks around the village. It is late and he knows that none of the humans will give him any information about another human, so he just looks around on his own. The few remanding people, milling about see him, turn away, and make off for wherever they are going.

 

He looks at the only inn in the place, decides to go in, and stops at the door. If Sanzo is here, he may be in a room and not in the dinning room. He walks in and looks around. Walking to the bar, he orders a drink and looks around the room. He does not see Sanzo or the others and decides it is a waste of time to be here. He pays for his drink and is about to leave when he hears one of the servants mention that the red haired man is not in his room.

 

He stops and looks towards the steps. Could they be talking about the hanyou? He looks around and waits for the serving girl to come to him. She smiles at him and asks if he wants another drink. He tells her no and asks if there are three men that arrived together.

 

“As a matter of fact they did check in a few hours ago. Are you a friend of theirs?”

 

“I guess you could say that. We were looking for a friend and were separated. This friend was hurt very badly and we were all concern about finding him. I just hope he is okay, since he is alone.” He lets out a long exasperated sigh looking down in his glass of wine. He cuts his eyes at the server to see if she may tell him about the Sanzo party.

 

Maya looks over at him and thinks that maybe he is a friend of the others. She smiles down at him, “I think maybe I can help you. If you are looking for your friends…”

 

“Maya! What are you doing, we do not discuss our guess with anyone! Go back in the kitchen at once. Your tongue is going to be your undoing one day.” The owner glares at his daughter until she turns and runs in the back. He turns to the prince, “I'm sorry but we don't discuss our guest. If you will excuse me, I have work to do.”

 

“Wait, I have not finished. I will pay you to tell me if they are here and no one will be the wiser.” He stands as he looks at the owner and drops a bag of gold on the counter.

 

The owner looks down at the bag and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He looks up at the prince and then around to see if any one is paying any attention to the two of them. He grabs the money off the counter, tells him that the three of them are upstairs, and leaves for the back.

 

Kougaiji smiles to himself and looks up towards the stairs. He should go up but he doubt if Sanzo has made it to the inn. He is on foot and coming through those woods will take a long time. Besides the owner did say there were only three of them so the monk couldn't be with them. He leaves his wine on the counter and walks out of the inn.

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Gojyo holds Sanzo to his chest and runs his hand down his side. He knows he felt a bite mark on Sanzo's shoulder but he is wondering if he should bring it up. He leans down and kisses the top of his head. “Do you feel better now?”

 

Sanzo looks up at him and lifts the corner of his lips, “I did say I'm happy to be back didn't I, baka? Being away from all of you had me thinking about how much I depend on you. But you, I depend on most of all.”

 

“Do you depend on me enough to tell me what happen between you and Kougaiji?” He tightens his arms around Sanzo as he feels him squirms in his arms.

 

“I told you before; I don't want to talk about it.”

 

Gojyo releases him and sits up. “The prince raped you didn't he?” He looks in Sanzo's face and he turns away. The monk gets out of the bed dragging the top sheet with him. He walks over to the table and lights one of his cigarettes. As he inhales the smoke into his lungs, he walks over to the window.

 

Looking down in the front of the inn, he thinks he sees the prince. He stops the cigarette half-way to his mouth and backs up. Gojyo gets out of the bed, slides his pants over his hips, and walks up behind him. When Sanzo moves back, he bumps into him and he grabs him around the waist.

 

“What is it Sanzo?” He looks out the window, sees nothing, and turns the monk around in his arms. Sanzo puts his head down, pushes past Gojyo, and sits on the bed. He stares at the window in silence. The hanyou looks out the window again and turns to the monk. “Did you see something out there? Did you see Kougaiji, perhaps? Sanzo, you can't go on like this. You have to get it out. If you don't tell us what happen, it's going to continue to eat you up inside.”

 

Sanzo takes a pull on his cigarette and looks up at the kappa. “What is it you want me to say? You want me to say, he had his way with me and after a while I quit fighting and gave in. Is that what you want me to say, is that what you want too hear? You want me to tell you I let a man I hate have my body, without fighting because after a while, I knew it wouldn't do any good. You want me to tell you, I hate myself for my weakness…because I do. I will hate myself for the rest of my life. I'm sorry Gojyo, because while you and the others were worried about me, I was screwing Kougaiji and enjoying it.”

 

He puts his hands over his face after that confession trying to hide his shame and betrayal. Gojyo looks down at the monk after his outburst and drops down besides him. He stares in front of him and has nothing to say to Sanzo. He knows he heard him but did he actually say he enjoyed it? He couldn't have said something like that, not his Sanzo. Not the man he has planned to spend the rest of his life with! He looks at him and reaches over pulling his hands away.

 

He looks in his face as he holds both of the monk's hands, “What are you saying Sanzo? Are you saying you want to be with the prince? Does he make you feel better than I do, Sanzo?”

 

“No Gojyo, that's not it at all. I hate him! I hope I never see him again as long as I live! I just…I just didn't want to talk about my time with him. No one can make me feel the way you do. I…I, it's just so complicated, Gojyo.”

 

“How is it complicated?! Just tell me what you mean, when you say you enjoyed it! How could you possibly enjoy what he did to you?! That bastard raped you, Sanzo! Yeah, I can tell, but I wasn't going to say anything but now…”

 

Sanzo puts his hand to his shoulder over the bite mark then looks at Gojyo. His eyes are threatening to spill over with tears. “This is what I had to put up with if I refused, so I closed my eyes and pretended it was you I was with and so yes, I enjoyed it! I had no other choice, Gojyo.” He puts his head down as he repeats, “I had no other choice, I'm sorry.” He gets up and is about to walk over to the window when Gojyo grabs his arm.

 

“Wait…don't go just yet.” He stands and Sanzo stops with his back turned to the hanyou. “We were wrong to be together, Gojyo. This is our punishment for thinking we could defy the laws of nature and be with each other. What we're doing is wrong and that's why things happen the way they did.”

 

He turns and gives Gojyo a smirk, as he allows the sheet to drop slowly to the floor. “Look at me, Gojyo. My body is the same as yours. Our bodies were not made to be in concert with the other. We're two men and this goes against all that is holy. I'm a monk and you're a hanyou, we can never be as one, no matter how much we try and fool ourselves. You deserve to be with a woman that can give you children and a home. I can't do that for you, Gojyo. So please, look elsewhere for the love you seek.”

 

“Well, wasn't that a pretty speech.” He walks towards Sanzo and pulls him close. He whispers in his ear, “I don't care what you say. I will never give up on us.” He kisses him on the lips softly, turns, picks up his shirt and jacket and leaves out closing the door behind him.

 

Sanzo watches the door as it closes and falls to his knees as he touches his lips. This is not what he expected to happen. He wants to cry out to this man but he cannot and the only thing he can do is make Kougaiji pay, for what he has done. Then maybe, just maybe he can get his life back.

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