Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Never Let Go ❯ Funny ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Saiyuki and the characters in this story are owned and created by Kazuya Minekura.



FUNNY

Goku felt funny. Down there. It had been happening a lot over the past few months. He kept going stiff. Not just a little bit stiff for a minute or two, but in a way that made him point the wrong way - straight up! - and left him uncomfortable and kind of aching for what seemed like ages.

But even more troubling were the weird thoughts that went along with the feeling funny and the stiffening and the wrong-way-pointing. Thoughts that made him afraid he was turning into a perv like Gojyo. Hey! Perhaps it was all the kappa's fault and whatever Gojyo had that made him lech and leer was catching? Whatever, Goku didn't like feeling this way. Although sometimes he did, and that made him like it even less.

Heck! Thinking about it made Goku's head hurt. But he couldn't not think about it, because it was worse than feeling hungry and he had no idea what to do about it.

Maybe he ought to talk to one of the others.

His best choice was probably Hakkai. He used to be a school teacher, after all, and he knew a whole load of stuff. The trouble was, he spoke in that fancy way that half the time Goku didn't understand. Even when he was listening.

Gojyo was easier to follow. And since he took a lot of interest in his own, uh, dick, he might even be an expert on this kinda thing. Only he was bound to laugh and call Goku dumb.

Which left Sanzo.

No freakin' way. If Goku knew anything, it was that he would not be taking his problem to the priest. Sanzo would probably kill him.

Twice, if he ever found out he was frequently the cause of Goku feeling funny.

* * * * *

It had been a long, hot day, taking them across a seemingly endless plain. Goku had grit in his eyes and dust in his mouth. He was parched and hungry and fed up.

“Are we nearly there yet?” he whined.

“How the hell should I know?” Sanzo snarled.

“But I'm so thirsty I could die!” Goku exclaimed.

“And I'm so sick of listening to you complain, I could shoot you,” the priest spat back.

But Goku wasn't listening because at long last they had finally cleared the line of boulders obscuring their view and just a few hundred yards away, he could see grass. Grass and trees and - yeah! - a river! He bounced up and down in his seat.

“There!” he urged, pointing. “Let's stop there! I wanna drink an' I've been hungry for hours. What about a picnic? Or a barbecue? Yeah! Let's have a barbecue!”

Hakkai applied the brakes and turned to Sanzo.

“It would make sense,” he said. “I'm not sensing any danger and Jeep needs to rest and take on water. Besides, I wouldn't mind washing the dust off myself.”

“Yeah, c'mon baldie,” Gojyo put in. “The monkey's starting to stink!”

“You're the stinker!” Goku retorted. “The stinkiest stinker in all- OW!”

“OW!” Gojyo echoed as he too received a thwack to the head from Sanzo's fan.

“A wash would cool them off,” Hakkai pointed out with a pleasant smile.

Sanzo grunted.

“Fine. Go play in the water,” he told Goku and Gojyo. “With any luck one of you will drown.”

Goku leapt out of Jeep and hurriedly stripped off. Gojyo did likewise and within minutes both were waist-deep in cold water, laughing with sheer delight at the sensation.

“Shall we?” Hakkai asked Sanzo.

The priest nodded, stepped out of the vehicle and began peeling off his robes. By the time he'd removed them, along with his leather undergarments, Hakkai had accepted Gojyo's challenge of a swimming race across to the other bank. Sanzo lit a cigarette and strolled into the river, sucking in a surprised breath as the cold water came into contact with his hot skin.

Hakkai and Gojyo raced back across the river, the kappa once again winning easily.

“You musta been cheatin'!” Goku declared when Gojyo crowed in triumph.

Instead of answering, Gojyo splashed through the river towards him.

“Don't forget to wash behind your ears, monkey!” he cried and slapped a hand down on Goku's head, pushing it under the water.

Goku's world went a wobbly blue-green. He opened his mouth to yell at Gojyo but instead swallowed a lungful of water. Panicked, he began thrashing about wildly, kicking out at the legs bending and rippling in front of him and flailing his arms.

With a scornful laugh, Gojyo let him go and Goku spluttered up through the water and back into air. He blinked against the suddenly crisp, clear light.

“ ... idiots got my cigarette wet!” Sanzo was complaining, as if the loss of one smoke was of far greater importance to him than Goku nearly dying.

Coughing and gasping for air, Goku struggled towards the nearest bank. He clambered out of the water and began to towel himself dry.

Gojyo was still laughing. “Wassa matter? Chibi chimp can't swim?”

“I can too!” Goku shouted and started coughing again. Damn. He wasn't about to get back in the river and risk another ducking, but he couldn't let Gojyo get away with taunting him. He looked around for something to hurl and found an enormous rock.

Zabon!

It hit the river with an immensely satisfying splosh and sent a column of water three feet up into the air. It shimmered and fanned out, then came crashing back down again. Right over not Gojyo's head, but Sanzo's.

The priest's golden hair clung to his face in dull yellow clumps. His cigarette stuck wetly to his chin. And his eyes promised murder.

“You are going to die,” he informed Goku through clenched teeth as he waded towards the bank.

“Hey! I didn't start it!” Goku protested. “It was Gojyo ...”

His voice trailed off as Sanzo climbed out of the river and stood naked on the grass, water pouring off him. The priest's skin gleamed wet and golden in the sunlight and Goku was dazzled. He knew he ought to look away but he couldn't. All he could do was watch the water racing over lean muscle and along sharp bone and think how stupidly impatient it was. It shouldn't be hurrying over Sanzo; it should be taking its time, savouring. Goku would.

Right on cue the water began to slow to a trickle, a maddeningly seductive trickle. It curled into Sanzo's armpits and clung to the tight curve of his pecs. Big, fat droplets collected on his nipples, grew swollen and burst, sliding purposefully down his abs and into the coarse, sandy hair that trailed down from his navel.

Goku swallowed hard..

Crap! He was feeling funny again. Worse than funny. His dick was doing a fair imitation of Nyoi-bo and demanding ... something .... anything. He snatched up his towel and wrapped it tightly round his waist but the hard outline was still clearly visible through the cotton.

Not knowing what else to do, Goku decided to run and took off at speed through the trees, shouting an explanation over his shoulder as he went. “I need a pee!”

Sanzo lit another cigarette and sucked on it deeply. “Stupid monkey,” he muttered and reached for his own towel.

Gojyo and Hakkai were in no hurry to leave the water. Gojyo was floating lazily on his back whilst Hakkai swam slow circles around him. They were speaking in low tones, too quietly for Sanzo to make out what they were saying. Not that he gave a damn. He was simply glad to have a bit of peace and quiet for a change. He finished dressing and then stretched out on the grass, arms behind his head and eyes closed.

Some time later Gojyo's voice shattered the tranquillity.

“ ... frickin' hungry! How about we eat now before Goku comes back? That way the rest of us might actually get something.”

Sanzo sat up and looked about him.

“Where the hell is he?” he asked with a frown.

“Peeing,” Gojyo explained, although his attention was mostly focused on opening their food supply box.

“It doesn't take twenty minutes to piss, asshole,” Sanzo snapped, getting to his feet. “The dimwit's gone and got himself lost.”

“D'you want us to-?” Hakkai began, but Sanzo shook his head.

“No. You stay here. In case the moron finds his own way back.”

“How ya gonna find him in a wood that size?” Gojyo shouted after Sanzo as he strode off in the direction Goku had left, cursing colourfully under his breath.

It was a good question. Sanzo supposed he shouldn't really have been surprised by the answer and yet he was: he could hear Goku calling him.

* * * * *

Goku stopped running and leant against a tree. His heart was hammering in his chest, sending the blood pounding through his veins. His temples throbbed. The pulse in his throat and wrists throbbed. His dick throbbed.

Hell. The stupid thing felt harder than ever. Goku pulled the towel away from his waist a little to check. Yep. There it was, poking into his belly, slitty little eye winking at him suggestively. He couldn't go back to the others in this state. He'd have to do something.

Maybe he could just push it back down?

He poked himself with a tentative finger but his dick merely twitched. Goku felt a flicker of something move up his spine but reckoned that was probably because it was chilly in the semi-darkness of the wood. He removed the towel from his waist altogether and tossed it aside. Then, grasping himself with both hands, he pushed down hard.

Whoa! The thing had a mind of its own! It wasn't gonna lie down easily, that was for sure. Goku tried again and the flicker running up his spine became a rush. He caught his breath and blinked. Touching himself this way felt good.

Since pushing down hadn't helped, Goku decided to try pulling.

Holy frickin' shit! That felt better than good. Goku was glad to have the support of the tree, even if the bark was rough and scratchy against his back, because his legs had suddenly gone weak.

He tried another experimental little tug, just to make sure the pulling and the feeling good were connected, and gasped. They were. But now there was something else too. Hunger. Not the normal stomach kind, but an urgent emptiness low down in his belly that was growing and spreading.

Goku tightened his grip and pulled again and again. It was kind of good and kind of sore at the same time, and the hunger
was getting worse. Sweat began to bead on his forehead. He felt hot. Hot and dizzy, like he was looking over the edge of a cliff and thinking about letting himself fall. He quickened the movement of his hand, instinct urging him on, even though at the back of his mind a little voice was saying that only pervs like Gojyo would do this kind of thing. Sanzo would never ...

Yikes! The thought of Sanzo sent a bolt of electricity through Goku's dick and out into his bones. He closed his eyes and, picturing a pair of droopy, violet eyes, squeezed himself tighter still. Pulled and tugged, tugged and pulled ...

“What the hell are you doing?”

Sanzo's voice cracked like a whip through the stillness of the woods.

Goku's eyes flew open in horror. “Sanzo,” he whispered, mouth dry and cheeks starting to burn.

“Well?” Sanzo demanded as he approached, robes pale and billowing through gloom, the tip of his cigarette a glowing point of red.

Goku hung his head. “My ... it felt funny. I was trying to fix it,” he mumbled and braced himself for a smack of Sanzo's fan.

It didn't come.

Instead Sanzo looked him slowly up and down and shook his head wearily.

“How old are you?” he asked.

“I dunno,” Goku replied, eyes still downcast.

“Eighteen,” Sanzo told him. “You're eighteen and you don't know how to ... Godammit monkey - you really are retarded!”

“Huh?”

Sanzo sighed, dropped his cigarette to the forest floor and ground it out with his heel.

“Come here.”

Warily Goku went to stand in front of Sanzo, still expecting to be hit.

“Turn around,” Sanzo ordered.

Goku hesitated for a second or two, but the gathering scowl on Sanzo's face persuaded him he had no choice. He turned.

And felt Sanzo step in close behind him. The priest's thick robes were soft against Goku's back and he smelt of cigarette smoke - warm, familiar and ever so slightly dangerous.

“Wha'..?” Goku began, suppressing a shiver.

“Silence,” Sanzo interrupted. He reached round, grabbed Goku's right hand by the wrist and pulled it up to his mouth. “Spit.”

“Ew! No!”

“Do it,” Sanzo insisted. “You need lube, you cretin. Or you're gonna end up making yourself bleed and we've already got plenty of takers for that job. Now damn well spit!”

Reluctantly, Goku spat onto his palm.

“More than that.”

Goku spat again.

“Take hold of yourself.”

Goku thought he might die of shame, but he did it anyway. Because Sanzo had told him to.

“Pay attention,” Sanzo continued, releasing Goku's wrist and covering the monkey's hand with his own, “I'm going to show you how to do it right, okay?”

Goku looked down at the strong hand on his and felt something in his chest flip over. His skin tingled. “Okay,” he breathed.

“Start slow,” Sanzo instructed, doing just that. Moving Goku's hand gently up and gently down.

Goku bit back a moan.

“Up,” Sanzo went on, giving a running commentary. “And down. Are you getting this?”

Goku nodded, shivered and closed his eyes.

“Firm pressure. Not too tight,” Sanzo elaborated, although by now Goku only catching the occasional word.

“ ... up,” he heard, “... top ... all the way ... down ... twist ... ”

Goku whimpered. Sanzo's touch felt so good, he was dissolving into it. He gave up trying to process what Sanzo was saying and just listened to the sound of his voice, his beautiful, clear voice.

“... until you feel these ...” - Sanzo's other hand suddenly cupped Goku's balls - “start to tighten.”

Goku's head fell back against Sanzo's chest with a bump.

“When that happens,” Sanzo advised, “you can speed up.”

Goku's own hand had gone limp on his straining dick, but Sanzo's was still wrapped around it and he was pumping him harder and more quickly now, making Goku pant and shake. He began to struggle ineffectually, wanting something he couldn't name, something that only Sanzo could give him. The priest's left arm curled around his torso and held him steady.

“San... zo...” Goku pleaded, without even knowing what he was asking for.

“Shut up,” Sanzo demanded. “Concentrate.”

And suddenly Goku erupted. It was as if the diadem had been yanked from his head, but instead of the power surging into him, it burst out, leaving him weak and shaking. His hips jerked frantically as a hot, thick stickiness spilled from his dick. His mouth fell open and a wail escaped it, shaking through the trees and sending a flock of startled birds up into squawking flight. Goku shuddered uncontrollably and his legs finally gave way completely. Only Sanzo's arms kept him from falling.

"Breathe." Sanzo instructed, although his voice seemed to come from far, far away.

Goku inhaled, trembled and exhaled.

“And again." Sanzo said, sounding nearer now. "Open your eyes."

Goku obeyed, first seeing the arm encircling his waist and then Sanzo's hand, coated with a milky wetness and still covering his own. The sight filled Goku with an idiotic desire to twist round and press his lips to the priest's face, his neck, his mouth. But he knew better than to try. Instead he remained motionless, thinking he could stay in Sanzo's supportive embrace forever.

Sanzo let him go and walked away to retrieve Goku's discarded towel. He picked it up and wiped his hands on it carefully.

Goku watched and saw Sanzo's nostrils flare as he took a deep breath and momentarily closed his eyes. Goku wondered if he ought to say sorry.

Sanzo looked up and caught Goku staring. Goku tried a smile. Sanzo tossed him the towel.

"Clean yourself up, then follow me," he ordered briskly.

"Sanzo ..."

Goku reached a hand out, only to have it batted sharply away by Sanzo's fan.

"Hurry up. Or Gojyo will have eaten every damn thing."

Goku's face fell. "I don't care," he said, amazing himself.

For a split second, the priest's eyes seemed to soften. But it was only for a heartbeat and immediately they hardened again.

"Get a move on," he snapped as Goku stood there gazing at him. "And just so we're clear - I never want to hear another word about this or I will fucking kill you. Got that?"

"Yes."

Sanzo acknowledged Goku's acquiescence with a single nod of his head and turned back towards the river.

"Uh ... Sanzo ...?" Goku called after him.

"What?"

"Thanks. For showing me."

"Feh. It's not like I-.” Sanzo's mouth twisted and he fixed Goku with a stern glare. “Just don't ever do it anywhere I can see you!"

Goku smiled to himself. Sanzo was nice. Super nice. He wrapped his more than slightly soiled towel around his waist and scampered after the priest.

Feeling funnier than ever.