Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Scattered Bodies ❯ One-Shot

“Scattered Bodies”
By Viridian5
7/9/07

RATING: PG-13. Hakkai/Gojyo. If m/m interaction bothers you, pass this by.
SPOILERS: for volumes 6 and 7 of Saiyuki Reload.
SUMMARY: Scattered people and scattered thoughts make planning difficult, but some things remain constant.
ARCHIVAL/DISTRIBUTION: Anywhere, as long as you ask me first.
FEEDBACK: can be sent to Viridian5@aol.com.
DISCLAIMERS: All things Saiyuki belong to Kazuya Minekura. No infringement intended.
NOTES: Read-through by Bardsley and Thorn.

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“Scattered Bodies”
By Viridian5
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“You’re cheating! Again!” Goku yelled.

“You always say that when you’re losing, which is always,” Gojyo answered.

“You’re always cheating!”

Yet their voices had a hard, sharp edge that belied what otherwise sounded like the usual youthful high jinks and their loudness couldn’t make up for their missing member, their missing member who would be hitting them and threatening to shoot them if they didn’t quiet down.

Hakkai didn’t mind that their hosts expected them to work for their food and lodging, because he had less time for brooding as they worked. Working also gave them the possibility of earning enough to get out of this town as soon as possible. Somehow he couldn’t quite feel comfortable amongst people who saw humans as talking, two-legged mutton and lacked the sensory abilities to know if he, Gojyo, and Goku had been human or youkai without their word confirming it. How could they claim such certainty in their superiority as youkai and humanity’s place in the world as meat if they couldn’t even be certain which was which?

“Born again” these youkai called that new perception of humanity, and they hoped that Hakkai, Goku, and Gojyo would soon be born again and find the “real” them too. Hakkai couldn’t help wondering how long his youkai self and Seiten Taisei would have to run around power-mad, blood lusting, and destructive before they achieved the quieter and calmer psychosis of achieving a born again state, at which point they’d see Sanzo as a kind of food instead of a person.

Experience led Hakkai to expect that the nearby humans-only town had something at least as stupid and murderous going on. Sanzo lived by the motto that one should always expect the worst.

It was really too bad that Hakkai’s battle with Seiten Taisei had left him too battered to prevent the split in their group. He’d turned handling Sanzo into an art and could have talked him through this unfortunate situation and into staying. Instead, a tired and angry Gojyo had faced a shaken and probably ashamed Sanzo and let a tear became a chasm. Gojyo was still angry at and disappointed in Sanzo, not that he would admit to the last emotion.

Goku, of course, worried terribly. He might blame himself for Sanzo’s absence, as Sanzo probably blamed himself for the nearly lethal attack on Goku and for getting attached to Goku in the first place. Hakkai couldn’t be certain because Goku put a smiling face on for them, as they did for him.

It would have been nice to have confirmation from Sanzo as to why he’d gone away with Hazel and Gat instead of being forced to theorize. Hazel and Gat seemed to be likely culprits for the horrific injuries that had been dealt to Goku, but if Sanzo thought that he’d have tried to kill them, not walked away with them. Indeed, before Sanzo had run off from Goku’s crumpled body, he’d been saying, “I’ll kill him.”

That left the idea that Sanzo thought Hazel knew the person who truly was responsible. There would be few other reasons Sanzo would tolerate Hazel’s company. After all, Sanzo found Hazel disturbing, although maybe not for all the same reasons the rest of them did. Hazel frequently expressed his view that all youkai were murderous beasts but looked at Sanzo, who associated closely with such beasts, with undisguised covetousness. Did even Hazel know exactly what he wanted from Sanzo? It appeared to be more than simply the Maten sutra, because Hazel kept asking for Sanzo’s agreement, support, almost affection....

Hazel acted foolish, but he wasn’t completely a fool. If he knew he had something Sanzo wanted, he’d keep it close, demand a high payment, and try to retain Sanzo at his side as long as possible. It made Hakkai’s skin crawl thinking about it.

Where were they now? For all that Gojyo called Sanzo lazy and weak for his usual refusal to do “menial” work, Sanzo could move and walked like a machine once he hit the right mindset. And undead Gat never tired. Sanzo might not be able to walk as quickly as Jeep could drive and Hazel might be slowing his pace, but he hadn’t needed to stop for days in towns to take up work to make up for a lack of funds either.

If Sanzo had been with them when they’d reached this town, he would have been fighting off hungry youkai who saw him as dinner. But if he’d been with them, would they have stopped here? Hard to say. At least they still gathered information for the mission, which still needed to be done.

Sanzo headed west. They headed west. Hakkai had to believe that they would all meet again.

Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku had to get out of this town as soon as possible. Aside from being nervous around people who casually saw other people as food and having to question the origin of every meal, Hakkai worried that their helpful hosts would one day decide to quicken Hakkai and Goku’s conversion to their “real” selves by forcibly removing their limiters. Also, Gojyo had never needed limiters and shown no signs of going berserk. His very existence as a half-breed poked holes in the youkai’s assertion of themselves as wolves and humans as mere sheep, simple prey animals to be slaughtered with impunity. What if their hosts one day realized that Gojyo could not become “born again” and decided that this made him human instead of youkai and thus a menu item?

No one could be allowed to threaten Gojyo. Even Hakkai’s hazy and impossible dream of an indestructible wife and plethora of children included Gojyo.

Hakkai finally realized that the room had gone quiet, Goku had left, and Gojyo silently smoked next to him. Seeing that he had Hakkai’s attention, Gojyo smiled and asked, “Done thinking for a while?”

Amused, Hakkai replied, “You make thinking sound like a bad thing.”

“It can be when you do it.”

Hakkai didn’t argue with that. “Where’s Goku?”

“He got tired of me cheating him and went looking for the cranky chick. Leaves us alone for a bit.” Gojyo stubbed his cigarette out on a small saucer dish they’d set on the windowsill. His beer cans, when he’d “earned” beer, kept disappearing from the room once emptied, and for once Hakkai had nothing to do with it.

“Alone for what?” They’d all felt themselves being watched and judged every moment here, and Hakkai didn’t trust that being in this room alone spared them from scrutiny.

Gojyo came up and sort of... rubbed up against him, catlike, before settling bare forehead to bare forehead, warm and comforting, about as much as they dared here. It had been so long since they’d had time to themselves without Hakkai being badly injured that just touching face to face felt nearly erotic.

Hakkai knew that he could get lost in the past, lost in worries about the future, lost inside his own head. Gojyo had a gift for finding and grounding him in his body and the present as well as a sixth sense for knowing when Hakkai needed that gift, no matter the many false smiles Hakkai hid behind. When Hakkai had lost himself in his youkai power and bloodlust, Gojyo had brought him back to himself. Gojyo didn’t make plans for the group the way Hakkai or Sanzo did, but the value of his faith that they would make it through should not be underestimated.

Hakkai put his arms around Gojyo and leaned in closer, for the moment not caring if anyone somehow noticed and reported it, and sighed as Gojyo’s arms went around him in turn. At moments like this he appreciated Gojyo’s greater height and the way it could make him feel, however briefly, that he had a protective wall between him and the world.

But Gojyo wasn’t indestructible. Far from it. Given a choice, Hakkai would never have allowed this risky bond to form. Then again, given the choice he would have been dead years ago. He’d hardly intended for a blood-haired gambler to find his contentedly dying self and stuff his guts back into his body. Who would expect that? Or even more, who would expect that stranger to become a friend and become attached and involved....

“You’re thinking again.”

“My apologies.”

“We’re a sorry bunch, yeah.”

As Hakkai heard people approaching the door, he started to push away and Gojyo followed suit. By the time the girl opened the door to escort Goku back into the room Hakkai and Gojyo had quite a bit of space between them.

Hakkai steadily tired of pretending for their hosts. He’d prefer not to slaughter everyone in town to save the people who belonged to him, but he would if he had to. For now he continued to wait.

  **********************THE END***********************     More Viridian5 stories can be found in The Green Room version 3.0 at http://viridian.shriftweb.org/   No-frames but no-frills access available at http://viridian.shriftweb.org/index2.htm