Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction ❯ What He Didn't Know ❯ Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki, and make no claim that I do.
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They complained about each other nonstop.
They fought with each other over the stupidest things.
They said they hated each other almost every day.
The stupid monkey.
The damn water sprite.
The insane healer.
The bitchy priest.
They couldn’t stand each other.
Yet…
They fought well together as a group.
They watched each others’ backs.
They didn’t tolerate anyone else calling them names.
They weren’t friends.
They would never admit that they worried about each other–not even a tiny, ant-sized bit.
However…
There was no way in hell they would ever admit to being a family.
One very odd, dysfunctional family.
Yeah, there was no way they would ever admit to that–even if it was true.
So when Gojyo left to face Kami, it was no wonder the other three quickly fell apart. After all, you never realize how much of an impact someone has on you until they’ve left.

For a little while, Sanzo was able to live in denial by simply pretending that the damn water sprite didn’t exist. However, even he had to admit in a roundabout way that they needed the damn redhead. He would never consciously admit that the damn redhead was a friend. Subconsciously he knew better.

Goku didn’t even try to live in denial. He knew Gojyo’s absence was affecting all of them. There was too much room in the back seat. It was too quiet. There was no one teasing him. There was no one to roughhouse with. Everything felt wrong and nothing felt right. Though he would never say it out loud, the redheaded cockroach was like a big brother to him. Goku knew that Hakkai missed Gojyo a lot and he knew that even Sanzo missed Gojyo. He missed Gojyo.

Hakkai never realized just how much was unsaid between him and Gojyo until now. That was the way their relationship had always been since the day Gojyo brought him home. Hakkai knew they were lovers; yet they never said the words to each other because neither wanted to disturb the other since they both had issues with commitment. He, personally, was afraid that by falling in love with someone else that he would be betraying Kanan. His hands were too stained with blood to ever be able to hold someone else. Yet, what had he been doing this entire time? Gojyo had proven over and over that he would come back to him no matter what the odds were. They held each other tightly every time they got spend time together. The brunette knew that the redhead was afraid to get hurt and was afraid of hurting someone else in return; however, Hakkai had never felt so safe before in his life. Gojyo had become the foundation that kept the brunette’s world steady. His absence shook Hakkai’s world to the very core.

When the three of them decided to go after their missing companion Hakkai swore that he would say everything that had been left unsaid. He also swore that if Gojyo ever thought of doing something like this again then Hakkai would personally readjust his lover’s thinking.
The look of surprise on Gojyo’s face when they found him was priceless.

If the situation hadn’t been so serious, Goku would have laughed until he fell over.

The one thing running through Sanzo’s mind was: There is no way in hell that waste of space is getting out of going west so easily.

The sheer relief Hakkai felt upon seeing his lover outweighed the realization that Gojyo actually thought they would leave him behind.

After their defeat no one said anything when Gojyo bullied them into getting healed. With the exception of a few snappy comebacks and the short fight, he never commented on Sanzo’s stubborn determination to single handedly retrieve the Maten scripture. He refused to let Hakkai heal the others and forced the healer to allow himself be taken care of. He talked and talked until he talked Goku into getting his wounds treated. He didn’t sleep in order to make sure they didn’t overdo it ignoring his own injuries after they were treated.

After the second battle with Kami and their victory, Sanzo never brought up Gojyo’s leaving again. There was no reason to make the damn redhead feel even guiltier than he all ready felt. He would never admit to any of them that he knew it would take all four of them to complete this journey. He would never verbally admit that he might possibly care.

Goku never brought the subject up because he simply didn’t see a reason to bring it up. It was over and done with- and the stupid water sprite was back with them were he belonged. Everything was back to normal now-the fights over food, the name calling, the roughhousing-everything felt right again.

Hakkai waited to have his long overdue talk with his lover until after their injuries were taken care of and they were in their room. As soon as the door shut he broke down and let everything he’d been feeling come out. He didn’t give Gojyo a chance to speak, and he didn’t stop talking until his throat hurt. He never yelled, never broke eye contact, and was fully aware of the emotions that freely showed on the other’s face. Ever since that first day, Gojyo had never hidden from him–even when the truth hurt.

“If you ever do something like that again, I will hunt you down and kill you myself. I will not allow you to throw your life away. I won’t allow it.”

The red eyes he loved so much first showed surprise at the vehemence the words were spoken with and then acceptance of those words as Gojyo’s mouth twisted up into a soft smirk. “All right.” He didn’t flinch when Hakkai pushed him down on the bed and possessively staked his claim on him. He didn’t complain about the harsh grip the healer had on him. Instead, he murmured soft words of reassurance.

Before they went to sleep Hakkai whispered softly, “I love you.”

Against his skin he felt and heard the redhead’s response, “I know; I love you to.”

In the morning when Hakkai realized how many bruises he had left on Gojyo’s skin he tried to apologize only to be told to forget about it. Gojyo refused to let him heal them. “Don’t worry about it,” he said as he placed a quick kiss on the brunette’s lips before heading out of the room to get breakfast.

Hakkai stared at the door his lover had walked through before smiling. Shaking his head, he walked to the dining room to a very familiar scene.

It was a typical morning filled with bickering and gun shots.

“IF THE TWO OF YOU DON’T SHUT UP, I’LL ADD SOME EXTRA HOLES IN YOUR HEADS!”

Yep, it was a typical morning and soon they would be on their way on a journey that seemed to have no ending.

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The End.

I hope you enjoyed. I wrote this a few weeks before I started my internship at the beginning of May, which is why it’s just now getting posted.