Saiyuki Reload Gunlock Fan Fiction / Saiyuki Reload Fan Fiction / Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Craving Touch ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

Craving Touch

Chapter 5

By: eternalsailorsolarwind

 

Disclaimer: Saiyuki and all characters belong to Minekura Kazuya, Ichijinsha, Tokypop, and several other legal entities. I just play with the characters for fun.

 

A/N: I'm sorry this took so long! Hakkai and Gojyo decided not to talk to me for awhile, so this was slow going. Unfortunately, this will be on true hiatus for awhile, since I just moved halfway across the country, started a new job, and have to travel for two weeks for work. I'll try to work on it when I can, but it will probably be awhile before this updates again.

 

Back to Hakkai's perspective. Still angsty, but I'm hoping we're coming to the end of that tunnel.

 

0o0o0o0o0o

 

“I don't care what happened, just fix it!” growled Sanzo. “At this rate, he'll get the rest of us killed, not to mention himself.”

 

“H-hai,” murmured Hakkai. He plastered his fake smile on his face. “Yare yare, Gojyo can certainly be troublesome sometimes.”

 

Amethyst eyes locked onto emerald. “I know something happened between you two. The fact that Gojyo is willing to room with me proves it. Not that he's actually sleeping there.”

 

Hakkai sighed, closing his eyes to block out the monk's accusatory ones. Sanzo was right; Gojyo was rooming with the blond priest more often than not lately, though it was more like he was just storing his gear there. Gojyo spent most nights getting himself blind drunk and then sleeping it off during the day as they traveled west. A night or two of this behavior was one thing, two weeks straight another entirely.

 

The worst of it was that all of it was his fault. Because he'd fallen for his best friend; a man who cared for him as a friend, but nothing more. Hakkai still wasn't sure how he'd given his feelings away to Gojyo, but he must have somehow. It was the only way to explain the kappa's avoidance of him. Even to the point of ostensibly rooming with Sanzo, though in reality staying in the bar all night. In four years, he'd never seen Gojyo act like this. It worried him, because he feared that Sanzo was right and Gojyo would get himself killed.

 

0o0o0o

 

The battle had been short, but fierce. There were many youkai in the group they'd faced, but all of them were small fry. Nothing more than exercise. Or so they'd thought.

 

Hakkai sat back from where he leaned over the pale, quiet body of his best friend. Sweat poured down his face, dripping off his chin to land next to the prone kappa. The wound was finally closed, and Gojyo's breathing was beginning to sound normal again. It had been very close; if he'd waited even five more minutes, Hakkai feared he would have lost Gojyo forever.

 

The red head had been clumsy in the battle, his hangover the most obvious reason why. Usually, Gojyo in battle was grace personified; it took quite a bit of skill to wield the shakujo in such a way to be as precisely deadly as it was. While the kappa had not endangered any of the ikkou with his uncharacteristic clumsiness, his guard had been so sloppy that it was practically nonexistent.

 

Hakkai swallowed down the lump in his throat as the thought passed through his mind, unbidden; As if he was trying to get himself killed.

 

Hakkai pushed back the guilt and self-hatred the thought caused. It was ridiculous to think that Gojyo had tried suicide-by-youkai. It was just the hangover that caused the hanyou to be hurt; nothing more. He wasn't trying to escape Hakkai.

 

A soft knock on the door brought the converted youkai out of his depressing thoughts. Looking over, he saw Goku stick his head in the room. Expressive gold eyes showed their worry, as they glanced over to the unconscious kappa. The young youkai asked a question in a stage-whispered voice, “How is he, Hakkai?”

 

“He seems to be resting comfortably, Goku.”

 

Goku edged the rest of the way into the room. “Will he be okay?”

 

Hakkai allowed his usual smile to cross his face, “Of course, Goku. This is Gojyo we are speaking of. He'll be fine with time and rest.” He raised his voice slightly for the benefit of the monk that he knew would be standing just behind Goku - out of sight. “Perhaps a week to ten days, and then he should be healed enough to travel again.”

 

“He gets seven days, Hakkai. No more.” A hard voice said from outside the room. “If he's not ready, we'll leave his sorry, hung-over ass here.”

 

“Yare yare,” replied Hakkai with a sigh. “Then if the two of you will be so kind as to leave? Gojyo needs his rest. Oh, and Goku, please bring up some beef broth after you two have dinner. I'll start him out on that until I see how well Gojyo is healing.”

 

The boy nodded, and withdrew. The room was again quiet, and it allowed Hakkai time to think. His mind played over the battle again and again, searching for how he could have saved Gojyo from his injuries. He could find nothing, but that did not put his guilt to rest. He had nearly failed another person he loved. Hakkai wondered if he was cursed to cause pain to the ones that he loved.

 

“Stop wi' that face, `Kai. It don't look right on ya'.”

 

Hakkai's head shot up at the slurred, weak voice. He hadn't expected Gojyo to wake up tomorrow, let alone today. He moved to look critically at his best friend.

 

“You have seen better days yourself, my friend,” Hakkai replied. “If I may paraphrase one of your `poker buddies', you look like `death warmed over on a cracker.'”

 

Gojyo chuckled weakly, “Since I feel like it, that don't surprise me any.”

 

Hakkai watched as exhaustion and pain caught up with the kappa. Gojyo's eyelids drooped, and the red head snapped them back open in an attempt to stay awake, before finally losing the battle and falling asleep. He didn't have to ask his friend what had happened during the battle. A two week drinking binge, with little substantial food or rest, had taken its toll on even Gojyo's iron constitution. He had simply worn himself down to the point where his body refused to continue.

 

Guilt, that ever familiar presence in his life, rose up and threatened to swamp the converted youkai. It was his feelings for Gojyo that caused his friend to hide himself in alcohol; he drove the other man to this. Hakkai swallowed back his sudden nausea at realizing how close he'd been to losing the other man.

 

“I'm sorry,” he said to his sleeping friend. “It's my fault you got yourself hurt. I never meant to drive you away; to make you hate me.”

 

Hakkai bowed his head, shuddering slightly at his words, even if only he heard it. It would probably be the closest he ever came to actually admitting what he felt for the kappa.

 

“…Dun' hate ya', Kai,” slurred a familiar, drowsy voice. “Could never hate ya'….”

 

Hakkai's head came up sharply, and he stared at slitted crimson eyes for a moment before those eyes again drifted shut, and Gojyo fell back asleep, snoring softly. While it was a tremendous relief that Gojyo didn't, after all, hate him, the healer wondered what could make the kappa avoid him so …strenuously for two weeks. It just didn't make sense. His healer's eyes skimmed the form of the man he had come to love, wondering just what was going on, and how to make things right between them.