Samurai X Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Not A Day Goes By ❯ Chapter 1

Not A Day Goes By

Disclaimer: Don't own RK or the song.

Warning: Takes place after Samurai X Reflections CONTAINS SPOILERS!!

I slowly made my way to my family's dojo from the docks. I had gone to see my only son, Kenji off to Kyoto. He was going back to finish learning Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu. It would be his first time back in two years or so. He was a little hesitant about leaving, but I knew he wanted to finish his training. So I managed to convince him to go.

I turned around and gazed towards the pier and smiled a half smile. 'He's more like his father than he cares to admit.' As I turned back to continue my path home, my thoughts turned to Kenshin...

~*~*

Got a picture of you I carry in my heart

Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark

Got a memory of you I carry in my soul

I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold

~*~*

He had died two years ago tomorrow. Even though he was hardly home, I miss him more now that he's gone. In the two years since his death, so much has changed. For the longest time, I often wondered what it was that held us all together. When he was gone, I'd make sure everything was just the way it was when he left. Megumi thought I was being silly, but in a way, I had promised Shinta that I wouldn't change anything that didn't need to be.

"Kaoru-san!" I turned and saw Tsubame running up to me. "Kaoru-san! I haven't seen you in awhile, Yahiko and I were beginning to wonder if you were alright."

Yahiko and Tsubame married about a month ago. "Kenji's gone to finish his training?"

"Konnichiwa, Tsubame-chan." I said, putting on my usual half smile. "Hai, Kenji just left. Sorry I made you and Yahiko worry about me. I'm fine."

Tsubame looked at me closely. "Sumimasen, Kaoru-san, demo, since Kenshin died...I mean since Shinta died...it seems that you lost your will to smile. When you do, its only half of what it used to be. I know it's because you lost your husband..." She let the sentence hang there.

"Tsubame-chan, onegai, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Gomen, I really need to hurry back to the dojo, I've a lot to do today." I said bowing slightly to Tsubame.

"Okay, ja ne, Kaoru-san." Tsubame said.

"Ja ne!" I said as I hurried to my home.

~*~*

If you asked me how I'm doin' I'd say just fine

But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you

After all this time you're still with me it's true

Somehow you remain locked so deep inside

Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

~*~*

I slid the gate shut behind me and sighed. I quickly wiped an unshed tear from my eye and walked to the dojo. The truth is, I was trying to avoid some of my friends. Especially now that the second anniversary of Kenshin's death was tomorrow. I knew I'd cry, but I didn't want them to see me cry. Himura Kaoru doesn't cry!

"Jou-chan?" A masculine voice called to me. "Oy! Jou-chan?"

"Sanosuke?" I asked in disbelief. "Sanosuke!" I wrapped my arms around him. I hadn't seen him in three years or so, since he went to China. "Its so good to see you again, Sano." I said as I let him go.

"Same goes for you, jou-chan." He said. "How's everyone?"

"Kenji just left to go finished learning Hiten Misturugi Ryu. In fact, I just got back from taking him to the pier. Yahiko married Tsubame last month. And I've been holding up."

"Wow." He said. "What about that husband of yours? Did he ever make it back here or did he go on traveling Japan, again?"

I stared at him wide-eyed. "Sano? You don't know? I thought that you knew."

"Knew what?"

"Kenshin died almost two years ago." I said looking at the ground.

"Nani?" he asked softly

"Kenshin died. He came home just to die. He was finally able to atone for all the blood that was shed. I know that because his scars were gone when he died." I said with a sob. I didn't realize I had begun to cry.

"Jou-chan, gomenasai." he said as he pulled me into his arms again. "Gomen, I didn't know. I didn't get all the letters you sent. In all, I only got three, one from Yahiko, one from Megumi and one from you, but those must have been from before Kenshin died." I felt his hand rub my back. "When I saw him last in Shanghai, it was as though he couldn't remember who he was. Unfortunatly, I couldn't go with him back to Japan. I knew that seeing his family might help him abit. I thought he was going to be okay. I honestly thought that Megumi would make him better."

~*~*

I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night

Thinkin' you might call me if your dreams don't turn out right

And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark

Wishin' you were next to me, your head against my heart

If you asked me how I'm doing I'd say just fine

But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you

After all this time you're still with me it's true

Somehow you remain locked so deep inside

Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

~*~*

I woke up the next morning and placed a hand on my forehead. My head was pounding. I wasn't at all surprised. I had cried myself to sleep last night. Thankfully, Sano was the only one around to see me cry like a little girl. I sat up and glanced around.

"Ohayo, jou-chan." Sanosuke greeted as he slid my door farther open and walked in, carrying a breakfast tray. "Gomen for not knocking. I thought I'd make you some breakfast."

"Sano? I didn't know you knew how to cook!" I said, rubbing my eyes.

"I learned how in Shanghai." he said placing the tray on my lap. Then he placed his finger to his lips. "Shhh, don't tell anyone though okay?" he said with a wink.

I grinned half way. "Okay, it'll be our secret."

"You don't smile anymore do you, jou-chan?" he said as I started eating.

I shook my head. "Iie, not since Shinta died."

"Shinta?" he asked.

"Kenshin." I explained. "The night before he left, he asked that when he came back, that I not call him 'Kenshin' anymore. Instead he asked me to call him 'Shinta'. He said that his master named him 'Kenshin' because it was the name for a swordsman. He said that the name is parents gave him was different. He told me that when he came back, he was going to quit being a swordsman, and stick to being a husband and father. So he didn't need a swordsman's name anymore."

"Ah, sounds like something he'd do." Sano said nodding his head. "By the way, Yahiko, Tsubame, Tae, and Megumi are here."

I nodded. "Arigato."

He leaned closer to me, and whispered. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone you cried yourself to sleep last night.

"A-arigato." I stammered. "But how did you know that I didn't want anyone else to know that?"

"You asked me not to tell last night before you went to sleep."

"I did?" I asked as he headed for the door.

"Hai," he said as he slid the door open. "Now hurry up and eat okay?"

"Hai." I said as he left and slid the door shut behind him.

After I finished eating, I quickly changed then headed out to meet the others.

~*~*

Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days

Seems it's been forever that I've felt this way

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you

After all this time you're still with me it's true

~*~*

I walked with Yahiko and the others to Shinta's grave. We did it last year, and I have a feeling that we're going to keep on doing it for years to come.

"Its too bad Kenji couldn't be here today," Yahiko commented as he walked beside me.

"Hai," I agreed, "Demo, he said he didn't want to be here today. He misses his father so much. Kenji-chan said that he'll remember Shinta in his own way today."

"That kid's got a good head on his shoulders. Kenshin...er, I mean Shinta, told me once that Kenji's a lot like he was when he was young." Yahiko said as we reached the grave.

I knelt down in front of the grave and placed some fresh flowers down, then stood back and prayed silently while Megumi and Tae cleaned the grave. 'Shinta? Can you hear me? I don't really know what to say right now, just like last year. Kenji's gone to finish his training. He says he'll come home as soon as he can. He's a good kid, Shinta, I wish you could be here to see him.

'Its been two years since you left me for good. I miss you like crazy. A part of me still thinks your still here and that sometime soon, you're going to hold me like you used to.

'Onegai, Shinta, help me to smile like I used to. I'm tired of everyone worrying about me.

'Aishiteru, Shinta, zettai ni de gozaru.'

"Kaoru?" Megumi placed her hand on my shoulder after I finished praying. "Daijobu?" she asked softly.

I nodded. "Hai, daijobu." I answered in a whisper.

"I know its been hard without Ken-san." She said as she led me back to the dojo.

"Gomen, Megumi-san, I'd like to stay here for just a little bit longer." I said to the doctor.

She nodded and headed back with the others. I stood alone at the grave and wiped my eyes. "Sayonara, Shinta. Aishiteru." I brought my fingers to my lips and kissed them, then placed them on the grave.

That night, I heard someone calling me in my dream. I turned and saw Shinta.

"Shinta!" I cried and walked over to him.

"Kaoru-koishii." He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. "Aishiteru." He whispered in my ear.

"Aishiteru," I said back to him, resting my head on his shoulder and pulling him closer to me.

"Kaoru-koishii? There's something I want to talk to you about." He said as he pushed me back a bit. He placed his fingers under my chin and lifted my gaze to his. "Kaoru-koishii, I don't want you to be sad over me. Its been two years. All of our friends are worried about you. That's why Sano hasn't left. Its because he's worried about you. You don't have to do much, just smile abit more. I mean really smile, like you did when I was alive."

"Ano, Kenshin, I can't without you." I pleaded.

"You'll never be without me, Kaoru-koishii." He said as he brushed a lock of hair from my eyes with his free hand. "I'll always be in here." He placed his hand over my heart. "I promise, Koishii. My life is over. You're needed here to take care of our son." He pulled me back to him. "Aishiteru." he said just before he kissed me gently. "Kenji's going to need you here."

"Hai, I will always remember and love you. I will love our son more than enough for both of us." I promised.

"Kaoru-koishii, onegai, remember what I said to you. I don't want you to forget me, but I don't want you to be unhappy." He said as he kissed me again.

He walked backwards until he was well out of my reach and began to fade away.

"Kenshin! Don't leave me again. Onegai." I fell to my knees and cried.

I sat up in my bed in the dark. I glanced out the window and gazed at the night sky. "Don't worry, Kenshin, I'll do as you said. I'll smile more." I whispered. "Just keep an eye on me and our son and we should be alright." I smiled my first full, genuine smile in two years.

~*~*

Somehow you remain locked so deep inside

Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

*~*

********************************************

Konnichiwa= hello

Sumimasen/Gomen/gomenasai= I'm sorry

Demo= but

Onegai= please

Ja ne= See you

Jou-chan= little miss

Nani= What?

Ohayo= Good morning

Iie= no

Arigato= Thank you

Hai= Yes

Aishiteru= I love you

Zettai ni de gozaru= unconditionally

Daijobu= As a question, "Are you okay?" As a sentence, "I'm fine."

Sayonara= good bye

Koishii= beloved

Ano= umm