SD Gundam Fan Fiction ❯ The Collective Commotion of No Importance ❯ Chapter 1
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: May-VeggieGirl1 
Rated for the swearing. It's just another day of Zero completing his knightly duties, but a cluster of morons proove to be difficult...
Anime/Manga: SD Gundam Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 05.28.2007 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 744 | Status: Completed
Rated for the swearing. It's just another day of Zero completing his knightly duties, but a cluster of morons proove to be difficult...
Anime/Manga: SD Gundam Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: One Shot | Uploaded On: 05.28.2007 | Pages: 2 | Words: 1.6K | Visits: 744 | Status: Completed
The Collective Commotion of No Importance
By: May-VeggieGirl1
Um, inspired by moronic drivers on a trip that took twice as long due to sudden, mysterious traffic... It went from Route 404 to Interstate 97 in MD... Which is unheard of ever being so bad AFTER the Bay Bridge... And then double inspired by idiots on I97 driving through sheets of rain and mist with less than a car length between them... going 70mph... If that doesn't make you a nervous wreak, you must have iron nerves. x_x;
But then again, hooray idiots! Without them, the world would be so easy and boring. And I wouldn't be inspired HALF the time to write.
~*~*~*~*~
Far, far away from the heart of Lacroa, around the magical forests and hills of enchanted beings known to preside in the meadows, was a rural town consisting of such a small populous even the royal census forgot they existed sometimes. They went nowhere, did nothing, and everyone- absolutely everyone- hated them.
"Halt, citizen!" A rugged, lanky man, chewing on a piece straw with an absent look, set his sights on the floating figure that had just come into his path. He hunched over his saddle and gave the figure an evil eye, ignoring- or not hearing- the command.
"Please, I must speak with you a moment before you continue your merry way." The figure didn't move out of the horse's slow clopping forward. He snapped grey fingers and a document appeared, enchanted in the air. The paper read, "Decree of the Royal Estates of the Kingdom of Lacroa" but it didn't matter to the man on the horse too much, seeing as he couldn't read. "I am Zero, the Winged Knight of Lacroa, sent to enforce a new law passed regarding the travelling roads." Zero's eyes narrowed in annoyance as the horse dumbly continued straight into him. The man kicked his bare heel into the horse, ushering it through the gundam.
"Git outta th' way!" Reluctantly, Zero did as he was told but followed by his side.
"I only ask a moment of your time." When he was further ignored, Zero seethed. "By the Holy Crest, I command you to stop!"
He stopped. But that was because the horse stopped. Living in the dulled down area, the horses tended to fall asleep while trotting along. Made no difference to them. Except when they ran into other horses pulling carriages, like this particular horse had just done. A red haired man turned around from his place up from as the wooden carriage rocked. The horse pulled it's jolted head from the hole in the wood and backed up in surprise.
"Wat da hell are ya doin'?!" The man's face was ugly and brutish as he hopped off of his horse on the spot and tromped up to lanky man.
"Ah shaddap," The first man sneered down and spat on his foot. "Goddamned ugly bull frog."
"Gentlemen, gentlemen," Zero tried to intervene as the red haired man pulled a hat out of his pocket and threw it on the ground.
"Ya done gone made me mad!"
"Wat abbout it, frog face?"
"Git down here!"
"Why duncha come up here?"
"Blind sunuvabitch, betcha have less balls than yew do teef!"
"GENTLEMEN," Zero interrupted, his raised voice earning a glare from both men. "This could have all been avoided if you had just paused for a moment to listen to me!" He held up the paper again as if to emphasis his point further. "I have just come from the Castle to bring word to all peasants of a new law passed. There are now rules about carriages and when is the proper time to proceed."
"Aww, dun give us this horseshit."
"Shaddap and lettem git to th'point!"
"When you are turning into a main road from a side road, the person coming onto the road should wait until there are no other pedestrians. It is a new concept we are adhering from the world of Neotopia." The two men only gave him a dumfounded look and Zero sighed. "Basically, you sir should have waited until this man was no longer in your way because you are just coming onto the road now."
"Why shood I waits fer him? 'E's justa stoopid face bull frog."
"That's it!" The red haired man threw his arms up into the air. "I'll keel ya!"
"I'll burn yer house down!"
"I'll poison ya family!"
"I'll steel yer chickens!"
"Ya won't touch my chickens!"
"For heaven's sake," Zero groaned and threw up his hands, the scroll disappearing with a sparkle. "Can't you blasphemous fools have even a shred of decency toward your fellow man! It's a law of courtesy so no one will be hurt!"
"I don't liek yer additood, talkin liek yer better'n us..." The lanky man sneered, nose crinkling up in his face. "All yew govern'nt folk comin here n' tellin us wut ta do...!"
"Yeah, like dat time they came through an put that buildin down in th' meddow."
"My chicken use'da peck in that there meddow! No one gone ask yew all ta put no buldins down 'round here!" Zero felt a vein bulge from his head.
"Like you need any more meadow!" He extended his arms to both side, and, indeed, there was meadow all around the road. "You should feel privileged that we built you a public school-no ordinary peasants are given that!"
"We dun go ta no skewl." The red-haired man snorted and chuckled a nasty laugh from the fleghm in the back of his throat.
"But we lern lot from that skewl teecher, she gave ever' one in town a ride who wanna take her!" The two burst into laughter as Zero felt his face go red.
"By Mana! You're all animals!"
"Fooey on ya anyway! We gonna do wat we gonna do, an' ya'all ain't gonna change dat!"
"Yeah, yew thank yer so grate wid yer taxes, but we dun care how many chicken yew take, we ain't listenin to yew!" Zero clenched his fist as their laughing continued, the red haired man spitting the slime out from his throat. For a moment, he was tempted to seriously maim the two as the lanky man drummed his hands on Zero's helmet from up on the horse. Instead, he only snapped in warning by shoving the man away roughly, throwing him off of the horse and onto his back. That shut them up quite fast.
"Look," the knight growled. "You should show some respect for your country! The kingdom fights your battles from more invaders! We provide you a church- and even a school!- and I personally have fought to the brink of death so you could live here at peace with yourselves! The least you could do is-"
"We dun ask yew ta do any o' that!" The man brushed himself off and scowled, rubbing his back. "We'll deel wif wat we hafta deel wif- so ya'all shuld leev us alone till we want yew!" Zero scoffed, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.
"Oh, so you think you're entitled to a democracy? Hah, you jest."
"Well why not!"
"Yeah!" They crowded near Zero, glaring.
"Dere' yew go again, tellin us wat ta do!"
"If we wants us a damascussy, we'll git us a dermascussy!"
"You don't even know what a democracy is," Zero shook his head, feeling a little embarrassed on their behalf. "Much less how to run one. How do you expect to go about that?"
"Well we'd git yew ta back off first!" Zero finally began to laugh, only making them more hog-wild. "Wut chu laffin at!?"
"We'll show ya's what a derrmockasy is! We'll make th' best, goddamned derrmackosy ther' ever was!"
"Yeah," Zero whipped a tear from his eye. "Sure."
"Go tael da kids that we'z havin us a rahlee!" The red haired man hopped up on his horse and galloped away down the road after unhooking the carriage.
"Ya'all goin dooowwwwnnnn!" The lanky man yelled after him.
"Weez havin us Lancaster governon fer dinner!" Zero stared at him as he dug around the carriage for a pitchfork.
"...Lancaster?"
"Yeah yew!" Zero gazed absently at the ground for a long time, trying to absorb the information.
"Wow. So... you really don't even know that Lacroa conquered the country of Lancaster over a hundred years ago... Since even this little pathetic town called Lancaster is still gold in our pocket in the form of land...?"
"Don chu try ta fancee tahlk yer way outta dis!" Zero watched him pull out the pitch fork with jubilation and slowly turned to fly away.
"You're right, for once. I think I will stop wasting my breath."
So at the end of the day, the Lancaster people swore rebellion against the empire, unknowing they were actually swearing against themselves, and proceeded to get so drunk that following night, they forgot the blue gundam had ever dropped a line. Zero, on the other hand, found a bitter reminder of just why so many Lacroan knights have betrayed the country in the past.
"Barbaric Lancaster morons," He grumbled and continued his long flight home.
*~*~*~*~*
By: May-VeggieGirl1
Um, inspired by moronic drivers on a trip that took twice as long due to sudden, mysterious traffic... It went from Route 404 to Interstate 97 in MD... Which is unheard of ever being so bad AFTER the Bay Bridge... And then double inspired by idiots on I97 driving through sheets of rain and mist with less than a car length between them... going 70mph... If that doesn't make you a nervous wreak, you must have iron nerves. x_x;
But then again, hooray idiots! Without them, the world would be so easy and boring. And I wouldn't be inspired HALF the time to write.
~*~*~*~*~
Far, far away from the heart of Lacroa, around the magical forests and hills of enchanted beings known to preside in the meadows, was a rural town consisting of such a small populous even the royal census forgot they existed sometimes. They went nowhere, did nothing, and everyone- absolutely everyone- hated them.
"Halt, citizen!" A rugged, lanky man, chewing on a piece straw with an absent look, set his sights on the floating figure that had just come into his path. He hunched over his saddle and gave the figure an evil eye, ignoring- or not hearing- the command.
"Please, I must speak with you a moment before you continue your merry way." The figure didn't move out of the horse's slow clopping forward. He snapped grey fingers and a document appeared, enchanted in the air. The paper read, "Decree of the Royal Estates of the Kingdom of Lacroa" but it didn't matter to the man on the horse too much, seeing as he couldn't read. "I am Zero, the Winged Knight of Lacroa, sent to enforce a new law passed regarding the travelling roads." Zero's eyes narrowed in annoyance as the horse dumbly continued straight into him. The man kicked his bare heel into the horse, ushering it through the gundam.
"Git outta th' way!" Reluctantly, Zero did as he was told but followed by his side.
"I only ask a moment of your time." When he was further ignored, Zero seethed. "By the Holy Crest, I command you to stop!"
He stopped. But that was because the horse stopped. Living in the dulled down area, the horses tended to fall asleep while trotting along. Made no difference to them. Except when they ran into other horses pulling carriages, like this particular horse had just done. A red haired man turned around from his place up from as the wooden carriage rocked. The horse pulled it's jolted head from the hole in the wood and backed up in surprise.
"Wat da hell are ya doin'?!" The man's face was ugly and brutish as he hopped off of his horse on the spot and tromped up to lanky man.
"Ah shaddap," The first man sneered down and spat on his foot. "Goddamned ugly bull frog."
"Gentlemen, gentlemen," Zero tried to intervene as the red haired man pulled a hat out of his pocket and threw it on the ground.
"Ya done gone made me mad!"
"Wat abbout it, frog face?"
"Git down here!"
"Why duncha come up here?"
"Blind sunuvabitch, betcha have less balls than yew do teef!"
"GENTLEMEN," Zero interrupted, his raised voice earning a glare from both men. "This could have all been avoided if you had just paused for a moment to listen to me!" He held up the paper again as if to emphasis his point further. "I have just come from the Castle to bring word to all peasants of a new law passed. There are now rules about carriages and when is the proper time to proceed."
"Aww, dun give us this horseshit."
"Shaddap and lettem git to th'point!"
"When you are turning into a main road from a side road, the person coming onto the road should wait until there are no other pedestrians. It is a new concept we are adhering from the world of Neotopia." The two men only gave him a dumfounded look and Zero sighed. "Basically, you sir should have waited until this man was no longer in your way because you are just coming onto the road now."
"Why shood I waits fer him? 'E's justa stoopid face bull frog."
"That's it!" The red haired man threw his arms up into the air. "I'll keel ya!"
"I'll burn yer house down!"
"I'll poison ya family!"
"I'll steel yer chickens!"
"Ya won't touch my chickens!"
"For heaven's sake," Zero groaned and threw up his hands, the scroll disappearing with a sparkle. "Can't you blasphemous fools have even a shred of decency toward your fellow man! It's a law of courtesy so no one will be hurt!"
"I don't liek yer additood, talkin liek yer better'n us..." The lanky man sneered, nose crinkling up in his face. "All yew govern'nt folk comin here n' tellin us wut ta do...!"
"Yeah, like dat time they came through an put that buildin down in th' meddow."
"My chicken use'da peck in that there meddow! No one gone ask yew all ta put no buldins down 'round here!" Zero felt a vein bulge from his head.
"Like you need any more meadow!" He extended his arms to both side, and, indeed, there was meadow all around the road. "You should feel privileged that we built you a public school-no ordinary peasants are given that!"
"We dun go ta no skewl." The red-haired man snorted and chuckled a nasty laugh from the fleghm in the back of his throat.
"But we lern lot from that skewl teecher, she gave ever' one in town a ride who wanna take her!" The two burst into laughter as Zero felt his face go red.
"By Mana! You're all animals!"
"Fooey on ya anyway! We gonna do wat we gonna do, an' ya'all ain't gonna change dat!"
"Yeah, yew thank yer so grate wid yer taxes, but we dun care how many chicken yew take, we ain't listenin to yew!" Zero clenched his fist as their laughing continued, the red haired man spitting the slime out from his throat. For a moment, he was tempted to seriously maim the two as the lanky man drummed his hands on Zero's helmet from up on the horse. Instead, he only snapped in warning by shoving the man away roughly, throwing him off of the horse and onto his back. That shut them up quite fast.
"Look," the knight growled. "You should show some respect for your country! The kingdom fights your battles from more invaders! We provide you a church- and even a school!- and I personally have fought to the brink of death so you could live here at peace with yourselves! The least you could do is-"
"We dun ask yew ta do any o' that!" The man brushed himself off and scowled, rubbing his back. "We'll deel wif wat we hafta deel wif- so ya'all shuld leev us alone till we want yew!" Zero scoffed, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms.
"Oh, so you think you're entitled to a democracy? Hah, you jest."
"Well why not!"
"Yeah!" They crowded near Zero, glaring.
"Dere' yew go again, tellin us wat ta do!"
"If we wants us a damascussy, we'll git us a dermascussy!"
"You don't even know what a democracy is," Zero shook his head, feeling a little embarrassed on their behalf. "Much less how to run one. How do you expect to go about that?"
"Well we'd git yew ta back off first!" Zero finally began to laugh, only making them more hog-wild. "Wut chu laffin at!?"
"We'll show ya's what a derrmockasy is! We'll make th' best, goddamned derrmackosy ther' ever was!"
"Yeah," Zero whipped a tear from his eye. "Sure."
"Go tael da kids that we'z havin us a rahlee!" The red haired man hopped up on his horse and galloped away down the road after unhooking the carriage.
"Ya'all goin dooowwwwnnnn!" The lanky man yelled after him.
"Weez havin us Lancaster governon fer dinner!" Zero stared at him as he dug around the carriage for a pitchfork.
"...Lancaster?"
"Yeah yew!" Zero gazed absently at the ground for a long time, trying to absorb the information.
"Wow. So... you really don't even know that Lacroa conquered the country of Lancaster over a hundred years ago... Since even this little pathetic town called Lancaster is still gold in our pocket in the form of land...?"
"Don chu try ta fancee tahlk yer way outta dis!" Zero watched him pull out the pitch fork with jubilation and slowly turned to fly away.
"You're right, for once. I think I will stop wasting my breath."
So at the end of the day, the Lancaster people swore rebellion against the empire, unknowing they were actually swearing against themselves, and proceeded to get so drunk that following night, they forgot the blue gundam had ever dropped a line. Zero, on the other hand, found a bitter reminder of just why so many Lacroan knights have betrayed the country in the past.
"Barbaric Lancaster morons," He grumbled and continued his long flight home.
*~*~*~*~*