Silent Mobius Fan Fiction ❯ Red Destiny - Book 0: Tokyo ❯ Realizations ( Chapter 2 )

Silent Mobius: Red Destiny

Book 0: Tokyo

Chapter 2: Realizations

Authors: OSTOCOM

E-mail: OSTOCOM_HQ@yahoo.com

Website: www.geocities.com/silentmobius_reddestiny

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: We do not own Silent Mobius or its characters, but we do own our own characters. See the Authors' Notes for complete disclaimer.

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It's been four years since that day. Somehow, I never thought I'd make it this far. I smile sadly as I open my eyes to the new day. Gazing at the ceiling, I feel the emptiness welling up inside of me once more. Today it is particularly strong, and for once I indulge myself and let the tears flow. (Roy…I miss you so much.)

Before I can do anything more, I hear a small knock on my door. I hurriedly brush the tears from my eyes and get out of bed. As I walk over to the door, my mind conjures up a picture of what I know will be waiting for me on the other side. Three-foot four, with dark blue hair still ruffled with sleep, and blue eyes that shine like the clearest ocean. A slightly chubby boy, clutching a tattered teddy bear in one arm. My son, Robert Gigelf Liqueur.

I open the door, and sure enough I see his solemn eyes blinking up at me. "Good morning, Roy. Did you sleep well last night?" I ask as I take him in my arms.

"I had a good dream, mommy," he answers with a smile. "Auntie took me riding on a big horsie!"

I laugh lightly and listen as he continues to prattle on about his dream adventures. (I wish you could be here, Roy. You deserved to see your son grow up.) I tune back in as he asks me whether or not we can go to the park today.

I pretend to think it over for several minutes, watching as he gets more and more frustrated. "Mommy! Pleeeaaase?" I break into a grin and nod my head. "Your aunt and uncle will be here later; they already planned to take you. Why don't you get dressed and then we can have some breakfast before they arrive."

"Yeah! You're the best mommy!" He gives me a big hug before scampering off to his room.

I sigh again as I watch him go, then quickly reprimand myself for it. (This is no time to be melancholy, Katsumi. You and your son are both alive and you can thank God for that.)

------

It is nearly three hours before the doorbell rings. Roy has gotten so wound up it is all I can do to keep him in one place for more than a second. I hear the sound of running footsteps and the door is flung open. With a shout of joy, my son leaps into the arms of the man standing in the doorway. "Uncle Ralph!"

I smirk slightly as I watch Ralph try to get a handle on the squirming bundle he is holding. No sooner has Roy settled down than he sees the person standing next to his Uncle. "Aunt Kiddy!" He shoves off Ralph and dives into Kiddy, who just barely manages to catch him before he hits the floor.

"Watch it with the stunts, kid!" Kiddy orders with a grin, while returning the enthusiastic hug she is locked into. Kiddy then hands Roy back to Ralph and steps forward, wrapping me in a bear hug that nearly crushes several ribs.

"Oy! Kiddy, I need those," I gasp out between laughter.

She lets me go, and Ralph hugs me briefly before we all head into the living room. We talk pleasantly for a while about matters of an inconsequential nature. It's almost a relief for me, getting my mind off the sadness that today represents. Then I notice something odd. Kiddy silently nods to Ralph who stands up and says, "Roy-kun, are you ready to go to the park?" My son nods enthusiastically and runs to grab his jacket from his room. Ralph smiles and says, "Why don't you two stay here and catch up a bit more? Roy and I'll be just fine on our own."

This immediately sets my nerves on alert, but I agree, sensing that whatever Kiddy has to say must be very important. Ralph and Roy head out, and Kiddy and I talk for a few more minutes before she suddenly sighs and leans back on the couch.

"I take it this isn't just a social call then?" I ask lightly.

Kiddy gazes at me, her eyes serious as she replies, "I'm afraid not. Damn it all, Katsumi, I had hoped we could keep you out of this..."

Understanding finally dawns. "Nemesis is making another move."

She nods. "We think so. Chief Rally asked me to come over today and talk to you. She wants you to consider rejoining AMP."

I'm stunned. Rejoin AMP? Three years ago, I left the group because of the demands of being a mother. I wanted to be there for my son like my own mother was there for me. Not one of my former teammates complained, and in fact, I kept in regular contact with all of them. Kiddy and Ralph are my two closest friends, and my son considers them his aunt and uncle. And now Rally Cheyenne was asking me to come back?

"Oh Kiddy...I just, I don't know. Rejoining AMP; it's a big step."

"Katsumi, we need you. The damned Lucifer Hawk are stepping up the attacks. And...well, we think we might have a lead on Ganossa."

I gasp slightly as my eyes narrow. "Ganossa," I growl. "You know where he is?"

"Possibly," she admits. "Look Katsumi, I want revenge on that bastard just as bad as you do. But you aren't going to find it hiding here. Rejoin AMP. None of us are strong enough to beat him!"

I'm in turmoil. Half of me wants nothing more than to squeeze the life out of Ganossa Maximillian with my own two hands. But the other half considers my son, and what it would mean for him if I rejoin Police 00. I can't guarantee my safety working for AMP, and he could lose his mother, his only family in this world.

"Kiddy, I can't," I say sadly. "I have Roy to think about; I can't go off on some foolish quest for revenge. I can't let Roy grow up without a mother."

"Damn it, Katsumi!" she snarls as she pounds the coffee table. I notice a small crack appear, and I shift my focus completely onto it, not daring to look at the frustrated Megadyne. "You're running away again," she finishes softly.

I sigh, my eyes still focused on the crack. "I have a responsibility now, Kiddy. Roy is the most important thing in my life. You know that. I won't put him in danger by rejoining AMP. I can't. I couldn't bear to lose him," I whisper, wiping away the tears that have started to form.

I hear a soft snort and then feel Kiddy's hand on my chin, lifting my face to meet hers. "I don't think this is the right decision, Katsumi. But I'll stand by it." She smirks. "And kick the asses of any Lucifer Hawk stupid enough to come near you."

Her words have the desired effect and I see her eyes light up as I laugh. "Thank you, Kiddy."

Never one for the more emotional moments, Kiddy shifts uncomfortably before suggesting that we head out to find Roy, Ralph, and some lunch. I agree, and within a few minutes we're on our way.

------

Almost a week passes before I allow myself to think of the offer to rejoin AMP. I'll admit I was tempted. But my first focus has to be my son. Going back into battle means a chance that I could be hurt or killed or, even worse, that Nemesis could come after my son.

I had spent the first part of my pregnancy possessed by the demon sword Medium. I was surprised to learn I was pregnant once I was released from the sword's possession, and even more surprised when I realized that six months had passed and I wasn't showing any sign of being pregnant.

Mana Isozaki came to me then and explained a few things about Medium. Apparently, the sword is able to send the body into some kind of stasis. In essence, it uses the body just like a puppet to carry out its own will. Neither I nor my son aged in the six months I was possessed, so I had to wait another nine months before he was born.

When I regained control of my body I had almost no memory of the time period I was possessed. Medium had access to my memories, but I wasn't conscious of what it was doing. I don't know where I went or who I was with, besides brief flashes in nightmares every now and then.

After I was released from Medium's possession by Kiddy's sacrifice, I fought once and for all with Ganossa Maximillian. I know he's not dead, somehow. We have a bond. Perhaps it has something to do my possession, or perhaps it is just the bond of mortal enemies, but I think I would feel it if he were dead.

So I continued to fight with AMP. The Lucifer Hawk weren't gone from this world, and I felt it was my duty to protect the people of Tokyo from their evil.

Until that day.

I guess I wasn't watching myself as closely as I should have. Sometimes I wonder if my grief over losing Roy caused me to be careless. But at any rate, I got myself into another situation where I could have easily lost my life. As I dodged the claws of a particularly big Lucifer Hawk, I suddenly felt a tiny fluttering in my stomach. My eyes widened and I dodged again, one hand placed protectively over my abdomen and the other clutching Grosspoliner. Kiddy came to my rescue, stunning the Category Two with her graviton gun, which allowed me to finish it off using one of Grosspoliner's spells.

But as I leaned against the wall, panting heavily and with one hand still over my abdomen, I realized just what I had been doing: protecting my unborn baby. I think it was at that point I truly realized I was going to have a child. I had another life inside of me, the last piece of Roy left to me. I collapsed, sobbing.

Kiddy said nothing, but just held me until I had quieted down. We returned to headquarters and I announced solemnly my decision to leave AMP for the safety of myself and my unborn child. Everyone was supportive of my decision, although there was some question of whether I would return after the baby was born. I left it open-ended, not quite ready to end that chapter in my life.

Now, however, I wish I had.

Rally Cheyenne wants me back. I turn that phrase over in my mind. Rejoining AMP...I told Kiddy I couldn't. But I wonder if I could. Would it be possible for me to be a good mother to Roy and still work for Police 00? I shake my head disgustedly. (Forget it, Katsumi. You told Kiddy you couldn't, and for good reason. You'll never be safe if you rejoin AMP.)

I'll never be safe. But will Roy? Roy could survive without his mother. I did, after all. And with Lucifer Hawks and Ganossa running around, how safe is the world anyway? Wouldn't it be worth it to get another chance to do some good for a change? To make a difference, to create a world where my son could live without fear that a monster will tear him apart as he walks home from school?

I feel a familiar fear fill me, only now I wonder if it's justified. I wouldn't hesitate to put my life on the line for my son. And if I could help make this world a safer place for him to live, shouldn't I do it?

My musings are interrupted by the soft pitter patter of feet on hardwood floor. I look up and smile at my son as he yawns, having just woken up from a nap. He walks over to me and climbs onto the couch, snuggling next to me. I put my arm around him and draw him into an embrace, treasuring the moment. I know that as he grows older, these times will become a rarity.

I want to spend those times with him. Yes, I had survived without my mother, but there wasn't a day that I didn't wish she were with me. I wish that she had seen me grow into the woman I am now, and that she could see her grandson. I miss her still. I feel a new resolve enter me. I will not rejoin AMP, because I want to be there for my son. He won't have to grow up without a mother. I feel him snuggle deeper into my arms and I close my eyes, enjoying the peace of the moment as I feel myself drift away...

------

I wake up with a start, not realizing I had dozed off. Roy is no longer lying next to me, but I hear his childish voice from the direction of his room and I realize he is playing by himself. I look at the clock and see that only thirty minutes have passed. It's now close to four p.m. and I decide to start thinking about what I will fix for dinner.

Upon entering the kitchen, however, I realize that we are getting sorely low on supplies. Looking into the refrigerator, I notice that we are out of milk, eggs, and various other staples. I sigh to myself and decide that it would be a good time to go to the store.

"Roy-chan!" I call lightly. He sticks his head around the corner. "Let's go to the store, okay? We need to pick up a few things for dinner." He agrees and darts back out of view before returning a few minutes later with his jacket.

We head out to the local market, walking at a leisurely pace. Roy is excited… he loves being outdoors, but I prefer he stay in smaller spaces where I can keep an eye on him at all times. I'm all too aware of the threat that Nemesis still presents.

We're only two blocks from the store when disaster strikes.

I barely see it coming. A flash of silver in the corner of my eye prompts me to grab my son and throw us to the side, just out of the reach of the Lucifer Hawk.

"Katsumi Liqueur?" it asks.

"What do you want?" I ask coldly, pushing Roy behind me.

"The Key to Nemesis," it hisses. "Give me the Key to Nemesis."

"I'll never go with you."

It launches an attack, and I shove Roy into a nearby alley, barely managing to keep us both out of the line of fire. It looks ready to strike again when I feel something warm pressed against my breast. Muttering a quick prayer under my breath, I retrieve my dagger and call out the familiar spell:

/Before me, Raphael. Behind me, Gabriel. At my right, Michael. At my left, Uriel. A flaming pentagram to surround me! A shining hexagram pillar of light! Ater marcet ve gebra ve dedra lu orem amen!/

The Lucifer Hawk is severely injured, but not completely incapacitated. I prepare to launch another attack, but I feel something wrap around my leg and look down to see Roy clutching me and whimpering.

The Lucifer Hawk looks down as well. "Interesting. Is that your son?"

I refuse to answer.

"I'll take your silence to mean yes. The Master will want to know of this." With that, the enemy creates a slight ripple in the air, and is gone.

I feel all of the energy drain out of my body as I sink to the ground, hugging my son close to me. Shortly thereafter, I hear the sound of running feet and a voice crying out, "Katsumi! Are you okay?"

I look up to see the faces of my former teammates: Kiddy, Yuki, and Lum Cheng. "Everyone…"

"Katsumi-san," Yuki says softly. She kneels next to me and takes me into her arms. I break down, sobbing into her shoulder.

"C'mere, kiddo," I hear Kiddy say. I feel Roy's warmth leave me, but I'm not worried. He's safe now. We both are.

(What kind of world is this?) I wonder. This world where my son and I are in constant danger from my so-called kin? To them, I am nothing more than the key to Nemesis. They will never stop coming after me.

I feel a familiar anger starting to fill me. I'm so sick of being a pawn! I push Yuki off of me none too gently and haul myself up. "We're going home," I announce, grabbing Roy from Kiddy's arms.

"Thank you for your help," I say formally before turning on my heel and heading for home. I can feel the gazes of the others on my back, but I don't waver. I can't go with them. That isn't my life anymore.

I want to rage at the entire world. Why has it chosen me to bear such a burden? I'm so tired of it all. Everyone I care about ends up either hurt or dead. I never want that fate to befall my son. He's the only one I have left, and if he were ever taken from me...I don't know how I would survive it.

But I know that as long as I am alive, the Lucifer Hawk will come after me. I am the Key to Nemesis…a very valuable tool that they seem to want badly. I don't want my son to be involved in that. That's one of the reasons we rarely leave the house. There are wards surrounding most of the area that mask our location. There are also defensive spells that block even the strongest Lucifer Hawk from entering. I'm sure that Ganossa or some other powerful Hawk could break them with effort, but so far, things have been quiet.

(The calm before the storm,) I can't stop myself from thinking.

We're halfway home before I realize we're being followed. I chide myself mentally for being so sloppy and prepare to launch another attack. But I catch a flash of red hair and recognize that it's only Kiddy. I offer a silent thank you as we continue towards our block.

Once we get home, I order take out for dinner. My Roy-chan is thrilled; it is a luxury I rarely indulge in, mostly because I worry about what will show up on the other side of the door. But the delivery goes without incident, and I feel just a little bit of the tension from earlier start to leave me.

As we sit down to dinner Roy is unusually quiet. He picks at his food slowly, not eating nearly as much as he typically does. Then come the words I had been dreading. "Mommy, was that a *real* monster today?"

I put down my chopsticks and sigh. "Roy-chan...Yes, that was a real monster. He wanted to hurt you and me, but I promise you I won't let him." I look him straight in the eye and will him to understand. I could never let any harm come to him.

"Why did he chase us? I was scared."

"Oh Roy, I know you were scared, but you acted very brave." I reach over the table and ruffle his hair lightly. "He wanted mommy to go and help him, but that would mean leaving you, and *that* is something I could never do. I'll always be here for you, Roy-chan. But if you ever see another monster like that, I want you to run away, Roy. Run as fast as you can and don't look back. I'll protect you."

He looks up at me with his bright blue eyes and gives me a smile that melts my heart. "It's okay. I believe in you, mommy."

The rest of our dinner is peaceful and I let Roy watch one of my old television shows before I shoo him off to bed. I stay up a little later doing some work before I too decide to turn in.

------

I wake with a start, drenched in sweat and shaking uncontrollably. A nightmare. That's all that it was; a nightmare. Even now, the images are fading from my mind. I remember Nemesis, the moon that looked like it was washed in blood. The others were all there too. What was it Lebia said? "The moon looks like it's been reborn."

Reborn, yes, but reborn full of malice and hate. The feelings were dripping in waves off of the newly transformed moon and spreading out over the city, over the world. People began to be filled with rage and hate. The streets were bathed in the blood of men. Did my teammates die as well? I would hope that even in my dream they could avoid such a fate, but I begin to fear that it isn't so.

Is this the fate that awaits us, that awaits mankind? I shudder in revulsion at the thought. It would be too horrible to contemplate. I don't want the nightmare to come true. I barely survived losing the man I loved. Could I survive it if I lost any of my precious teammates because I was too scared to fight with them?

Once again I feel an irrational fear start to fill me. So I do the first thing that comes to mind and grab the phone off my dresser, dialing a number I know by heart.

The voice is groggy but recognizable when it picks up. "Hello?"

"Kiddy? You're all right, right? Everything's okay?" The words are tumbling out so fast that I barely realize what I'm saying.

"Katsumi? I'm fine. Everything is fine. Why are you calling at…" she pauses. "…2 a.m.?"

"I'm sorry, Kiddy. It was a nightmare and you all died and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Nothing, because I'm powerless now."

"Katsumi, you aren't powerless. You're afraid. They're two different things. I know you, and I know you have the strength to do what's right. Just let go of that damn fear that's holding you back."

"I'm not afraid!" I shout into the phone. "I'm not! I just don't want anyone else to get hurt or die because of me," I finish brokenly.

"We can take care of ourselves, thank you very much, Katsumi Liqueur. And aren't you being a bit egocentric, thinking that everything revolves around you! I've got news for you, you twit-it doesn't! So get over yourself and admit the real reason you don't want to come back to AMP. You're afraid!"

"I'm not. I'm not afraid." I start to sob.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I hate you! I hate you all! You DIED and it was my fault and I'm so sorry. I'm sorry…" I can barely get out the final words because I'm crying so hard.

"It's not your fault, Katsumi! We forgave you a long time ago."

"Why?"

"Because we're your friends and we know you. The real you, I mean. Whatever you did because of Ganossa is NOT your fault. I thought you understood that."

"I'm evil, Kiddy. I killed you, I stabbed Yuki, and I nearly killed Lebia. I can't trust myself anymore."

"You trust yourself with your son," Kiddy pointed out softly.

I answered her with silence.

"Let go of it, Katsumi. It's okay. And let go of the fear that's holding you back. Death is a part of life, Katsumi. Don't let the fear get to you!"

"I'm not afraid," I whisper again.

She sighs. "Katsumi, it's 2 a.m. and I'm tired. When you figure out what you want, you know where I'll be." I hear a click and the line goes dead.

Her words echo in my brain for the next several hours as I toss and turn, vainly trying to get back to sleep. "You're afraid. Let go of it, Katsumi."

Is that why I've avoided rejoining AMP? Because I fear what would happen? I've never let fear rule me before. But then, I never had a son to worry about either.

I'm using him as an excuse again. Putting aside Roy, I try to get at the fundamental feelings behind my recent activities. I am afraid, I realize. I was put through so much pain and suffering at the hands of the Lucifer Hawk. I lost my mother, my father, and the man I loved. I almost lost my son before he was even born. I don't want to suffer anymore.

And yet, as I sit there alone in my cold, dark, empty room, I feel like a weight has suddenly been lifted from my shoulders. I am reminded of a line from a poem Kiddy once recited for me:

/Yea, hope and despondency, pleasure and pain/

/Are mingled together in sunshine and rain./

Hurt and loneliness and death and joy and love and life: they are all inseparable. Roy and I had our ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade anything to forget even the bad times, because that would cheapen our entire relationship. Without the bad, how could we recognize and cherish the good?

Kiddy was right. Death is a part of life. A part I will do everything in my power to stave off from me and the ones I love, but I know I can't protect everyone. And I think now, that's okay; as long as I do my best to protect this world and not give into fear and despair.

I close my eyes and I feel a gentle breeze stir the air past my cheek. (That's right, Roy; you wouldn't want me to give up, would you? I can do it; I can help make this world a better place, like you spent your life doing. Thank you, Roy.)

The fear is not completely gone, but it is manageable now. I know what I have to do; I know what I *will* do in order to save my son and to save my world. I can feel sleep coming, and this time I embrace it willingly, a soft smile still on my face.

------

The next morning finds me still chipper, humming a soft tune as I prepare breakfast. Roy-chan seems to be in a good mood as well, chatting happily about one thing or the other. As I sit down across from him, I make sure I have his attention as I say, "Roy, we're going on a little trip today. So I want you to be on your best behavior."

"Okay, mommy!" he agrees readily. He loves trips. As soon as he finishes eating, I usher him to his room so he can get dressed and I can get ready myself.

Soon we're both on our way and I feel better than I have in a long time. "You look great, mommy!" my son compliments me. I smile, complimenting him in return.

He looks up in awe at the big building we have finally reached, and I feel my smile grow even wider. We go inside and take the elevator up. Suddenly I feel a little nervous, and I straighten my clothing until I think it looks impeccable.

We walk down the shiny hall, my heels clicking loudly in the silence. As soon as we reach the third door, I stop and steel myself. With a short glance at my son, I knock.

The door opens and I'm face to face with Rally Cheyenne. She motions me into her office and I take a seat. "You're in uniform."

"I'd like to come back to AMP, Chief, if that's all right with you. I had some demons that needed to be put to rest, but I think I've finally got control again. I want to do something positive. I want a safe world for my son." I look at him with a smile and he smiles back at me. "So I'm here to officially accept your offer to become a full member of AMP again."

"Welcome back, Katsumi Liqueur." She offers me a hand and I accept it. "Someone's been waiting for you."

I look to my left and sure enough, Grosspoliner is floating there in his sheath form. "It's good to see you again, old friend," I say.

/And you, my master,/ he rumbles in his deep timbre.

Roy's eyes widen. "He talks! Oh wow!"

I laugh at my son's childish delight. "Yes he does, Roy. This is your mother's old partner, Grosspoliner. He's going to be staying with us for awhile. If...if that's all right with him?"

/I would be honored, my master. I have missed you./

"And I've missed you. All of you," I add, looking around Rally's office. "I can't wait to see everyone again."

"Then I suggest you not waste any more time," Rally says with a smile.

------

The elevator dings and I take a deep breath as the doors open. Only one person is looking in our direction as I step off and announce, "Katsumi Liqueur, reporting for duty." Yuki's eyes go wide and everyone else's heads snap around to face me.

Then there is a mad rush and suddenly everyone is surrounding us, asking questions and talking excitedly. "I'm back," I announce. "For good this time."

I look at Kiddy and mouth thank you. She grins fiercely and I hear Lum Cheng let out a whoop of joy. Kiddy scoops up Roy, who is clutching Grosspoliner, and ruffles his hair.

"Welcome back, Katsumi!" Yuki says kindly as she wraps me in another hug.

"Welcome home," Lebia says with a smile and yet another hug. Almost as soon as she's gone, Nami replaces her.

I feel a grin settle onto my face. It feels good.

Kiddy smirks as she hands me back my son. "Welcome home, Katsumi. Now, you'd better hurry and pack your bags."

"Bags?"

She grins. "We're going to New York City! Some twit of a New York girl thought she saw a kid who looked like Ganossa." She rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

That sobers the reunion pretty quickly. I pull Roy tighter against me as I see Yuki frown. "Kiddy-san! You can't just dismiss something like that."

"Oh come on, Yuki!" Lum Cheng snorts derisively. "You can't really believe that Ganossa is all the way in America! It's just some dumb rumor. We're not even sure he's still alive. And even if he is, why would he leave Tokyo? He still wants Katsumi, after all."

"He's still alive," I say quietly. "I know it."

The others don't know how to react to my certainty. At last, Lebia plays the peacemaker and says, "Well that's why we're going to New York: to find out if there is any truth to that rumor."

New York. It's been a while since I've been to America. I wonder what a city like that will hold in store for us. I wonder what the future will bring now that I'm a member of AMP again. Somehow, I can't help but think that it will change my life. I can only pray that it will be for the better.

The year is A.D. 2034. Mobius is beginning again.

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Next Episode Preview:

Kiddy Phenil: "Feh, what's so great about New York? After an endless flight, we come face to face with AMP's counterpart agency. But it's not all fun and games. There'll be hell to pay if any Lucifer Hawks show up and interrupt my well-deserved vacation! Look forward to it."

Episode 2: A World Expanded