Slam Dunk Fan Fiction ❯ cuadro ❯ cuadroIV ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 4

Sunlight streamed in through the windows, and the heat prickled my skin, and Kenji was gone. I missed him already.

I slowly got out of bed. I felt so lethargic. Looking at myself in the mirror, I felt so pathetic. I actually was really under the control of a man that I barely knew. He controlled all my moods, actions and behaviour. He made me so happy.

Che, so pathetic.

"Tadaima."

Kenji. He was back? I hurriedly spat out the remaining toothpaste in my mouth and wiped myself clean with my shirtsleeve while opening the toilet door. Kenji was dressed in one of my smaller shirts, which still hung off his shoulders. He looked so small.

"Ohayo."

He turned around.

"Toru! I got breakfast!"

My heart felt a little too big for my chest. He just brightened up my whole day - and I had barely known him too.

"How did you get in?"

"OH! I asked your chauffer to open the door for me and I swiped your keys this morning."

Wasn't that a big careless of me? Do I look like I care? Heh heh.

I sat down. He got a weird breakfast. Some egg thing that looked a little dubious, but since he looked so happy eating it, I braced myself and put it in my mouth. It wasn't all that bad…

Kenji was really a morning person. He always woke up so early and was always so chirpy. I listened non-committedly to his rambling on about his job at some day-care centre.

The sunshine seemed so nice and warm and comforting today.

~

I went out with Kenji again today. This time we went to one of those beach restaurants. It was really so nice and romantic. I must have been half-dazed by all the attention he was giving me that the night passed before I even realised.

And as usual we went home and he fucked me.

Life was good.

I mused as I cradled Kenji to me. He always fell asleep first while I cradled him. I had only known him for about 3 days. And he was so… awkward with me on the first day. I wonder why he came back.

I wonder…

And I fell into a troubled sleep, with a frown on my face.

~

He had left by the morning.

I wondered, as I showered, when he would finally leave me.

I wondered how long I could live without him.

~

He dropped by almost every other day, to say hi, go out and then we'd have sex.

It was so pathetic.

My life was so pathetic.

I lived day by day just to see Kenji. He was my motivation for living - for working. It wasn't to please my parents anymore, it was for Kenji. I wanted to impress him - to make him see how good I could be. I wanted to be worthy of him, in his eyes.

It wasn't enough to tie him to me.

He was always gone by the morning - leaving nothing behind. I woke up cold and lonely, I didn't want to face the world alone. I didn't want to live without Kenji.

Where did he go?

I was determined to find out. So one morning, I heard him close the front door behind him, and I followed him. He walked for about ten minutes and I saw him disappear into an alleyway. I hid behind a pillar and waited for him, or somebody else to come out.

Maki Shinichi.

He looked happy and radiant.

Kenji followed soon after. He looked around half-furtively before walking in the opposite direction that Maki took.

I couldn't think straight afterwards. I left a dent in the pillar.

~

I think he sensed my unnaturalness with him. He seemed more subdued and quiet. He picked at his food. He didn't even try to crack a smile at all the little kids who were playing around us.

I was cold to him. He was fucking seeing Maki-that-son-of-a-bitch.

That night, he kissed me slowly and tenderly. It wasn't like the passionate kisses we often shared. I didn't respond. He turned his back to me and curled up. I hugged him from behind and buried my nose in his hair. He relaxed into my embrace.

We fell asleep like that.

~

I watched him dress as he left the next morning.

Why did I feel like I was letting something very important go?