Slam Dunk Fan Fiction ❯ Shinku no Kizuato ❯ Shinku no Kizuato ( One-Shot )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

TITLE: Shinku no Kizuato

TRANSLATION: Scarlet Star

BY: Simply Kim

GENRE: AU, One-Shot

DISCLAIMERS: The series I am referring to does not belong to me… ^_^

* * *

Shinku no Kizuato

* * *

Stars... they twinkle like a thousand sparkling diamonds against the midnight velvet which the night sky seemed to resemble. The sky seemed so alive with them around - as if the story about the ancestors looking down upon humankind was true.

It was during these times when emotions inside me that I thought I would be able to keep forever inside are evoked... emotions that continually struggle up, and bubbling, trying to push its way out of the confines of my body.

It was not always like this.

Before, these emotions did not exist...

Now...

Now, it is a different story.

* * *

I am a child of sin... a result of a lustful mistake... the fruit of the devil-spawned copulation. The forbidden union between two people with raging hormones and different cultural backgrounds. To say that I was unwanted is an understatement. It would probably be fitting to say that I am DETESTED - by my family... by my own parents.

They divorced when I was a year old - or so, that's what my only caring elderly cousin, Miki revealed to me. She said that I was put into my mother's custody, care, and support.

Technically, I was under her custody... but the part where the care and support come in was crudely deleted.

I was a victim of child abuse.

My mother's favorite pastime was to get a hold of a thick genuine leather belt and play horse with me - her being the jockey. I experienced a lot of whipping - and endured a lot of pain. It took eight years before she stopped doing it - a prospective husband being the sole reason.

Another thing - I had stopped caring by then.

My mother's remarriage did not bother me much, nor did the fact that her new husband seemed to take a dislike to me. I do not know why he's like that, and I sure as hell did not want to know the reason why. It's too trivial for me to dredge up something that the guy wants to keep hidden.

He often looks at me as if I am twenty times below him in stature... well, perhaps I am, since he's an independently wealthy person with much fame to boot, and I'm just an unwanted child, but heck, that doesn't mean that he could look at me like I'm some sort of trash!

Honestly, I do not want anything to do with him. When he's in the room, I immediately get out, when my over-socializing mom insists that we all go to dinner together, I try to place myself in the farthest chair possible. I don't even know why she insists of including me in her plans - she hadn't cared even before, so why start now? Maybe it is because of the fact that not including her son in her plans would make her more popular in her circle of gaggling high-class people. And her husband? Basically, he does the same things I do... if he's not too busy chiding me for even a miniscule amount of mistake I make, that is.

He had forbidden me to write poetry, saying that literature was for sissies. He had forbidden me to paint too. He had taken everything away from me - trying to change me into something I am not.

By then, my eighteen-year-old Miki-neechan was the only link I had to sanity. The only one I can trust in - the only one I had the heart to care about. She made me laugh whenever I was down, made me see things I do not usually pay heed to. She was simply my guardian - the much-younger version of a mother that I often fantasized about. In her arms, I was happy, content... and loved.

Then it happened.

It was unthinkable, but it happened nonetheless.

My mother's husband entered the room where we both slept in after a game of monopoly. He was obviously drunk, and I was only ten then - not exactly a teenager yet, and apparently, not as strong as one. He dragged me away from the circle of my cousin's sleeping embrace, stuffing my mouth with a stinky rag to prevent me from screaming, and tied me up with a stray shirt, effectively holding me immobile. He snickered then, as he turned away from me and padded noiselessly towards Ayako-neechan. She was still asleep, and if we were in a different situation, I may have laughed at the fact that she sleeps like a log at times. Unfortunately, I cannot. It was too real - it was as if I had just woken up from a nightmare and realized that the vision I had in my dream was true.

Tears were dripping from my eyes as he hauled, waking her up. She started to scream, but we all knew that it wouldn't have any effect - every room in my stepfather's mansion was soundproof.

First, he took off her pajamas, leaving her bare except for the meager pieces of underwear that was soon ripped off from her as well. She was screaming her guts out, and he only laughed, retaliating with forceful lips that sucked on her, marking her pale skin, and inducing her to scream louder.

Then, the dance of the devil began.

I watched aghast as he positioned himself between her legs and bent down, his teeth and tongue visible under the harsh lights of the glowing table lamp beside the bed. He was enjoying himself so much, and I knew he was purposefully doing the carnage in front of me... as to the reason why, again, I did not know. I struggled against my bonds, but it was futile. I could not move. I was transfixed.

I could not help her.

I could only pray to God and, as much as I hated it - watch.

Gasps and moans could be heard, echoing around my ears, and imprinting in my mind. She was wriggling away, but the sudden flush on her cheeks blew me away. It too me only a couple of minutes to know that somehow, somehow, even with the dirty ritual focusing on her, she was responding to his brutal touches.

It was insane, and I was revolted.

How could she?

Were the sensations she felt uncontrollable?

Then, he was thrusting into her - his actions filled with much force, and yet, seemed to excite her even more. I was close to hurling... but with my empty stomach, thankfully the nausea was subdued.

With a cry, both of them thrashed.

Then it was finished.

My stepfather laughed evilly, taking a fistful of her jet-black tresses and said:

"That was a great fuck, way better than the bastard's mother... I'll surely be looking forward to next time, sweetie."

"NO!" She howled, trying to get him to unhand her.

"If you're good, what about..." Then, his eyes strayed over to me. He licked his lips.

She seemed to realize what he was planning to do, and she scratched him in every part of the body she could reach, earning her a growl and a blow to the head that rendered her unconscious.

Then, he focused his attentions on me.

He walked in closer...

Closer...

"Mmmpft!"

* * *

I was already eleven when my mother learned of what was happening through a frantically crying servant.

However, she did not do anything about it. All she did was turn a blind eye on everything, trying to reassure herself that she was still the one who owned her husband's heart... and rightfully -the money.

Miki-neechan had, by then, given herself up to my stepfather, just so that he would not come near me again.

He tore me up too much inside before he was even through that night. She loved me too much to see me suffer in his hands. Perhaps it was the lack of someone to love and protect that had led her to care for me so much. She was an orphan and was living with my mother ever since I could remember...

I thought she was strong.

I was wrong.

By the time she knew that she was carrying his child, she went up to me and told me to meet her in the gardens at midnight.

I readily agreed, thinking that we are going to play in the gardens again as we did when we were younger. It was too late when I realized her intent.

* * *

"Do you like seeing the stars?" She asked me, her face upturned, and her eyes glassy as she looked up at the vast horizon filled with twinkling stars.

"Yes." I answered truthfully, smiling up at her, prompting her to look down at me, her eyes swimming in unshed tears. "They look like jewels - mama's jewels!"

She smiled and ruffled my hair, then looked up again. She seemed to be searching for something, and soon enough, she pointed up and my eyes followed the direction she was pointing to. I squinted, trying to locate whatever it was that she wanted me to look at.

"Stars represent positive things. Do you see that star over there?" She asked, her voice childlike and small, bordering on inaudible - as if she was afraid of something...

My eyes immediately caught up to the lone star that had astounded me.

"The red one, Miki-neechan?" I asked, staring at the twinkling celestial body presenting itself before the world in its huge splendor.

"Yes." She answered, nodding slightly. "That had been my source of hope ever since I was young. Whenever I see it, I know that everything will be alright..."

Suddenly, she drew something from her dress pocket. The light caught on it and it was immediately rendered glinting evilly.

A gun.

"Neechan?" I asked, turning my full attention on her. I was panicking.

"I want it to be your star."

"But... it's yours!" I protested, thinking of a way to take the gun away from her hand.

"I'm giving it to you now..." She smiled, her eyes streaming with the tears that she had bravely kept in check seconds ago. "I and the baby don't have lives long enough to keep it."

With that, a gunshot sounded throughout the whole estate.

And all was quiet.

* * *

I rarely smiled - rarely laughed.

I tried to revert to my normal uncaring self.

I tried to live through my loss.

However, with Miki-neechan gone, my sanity almost vanished too.

I was lost... almost...

The only way that I can come back to the world of the living is when I see that scarlet star.

Miki-neechan's star.

* * *

I started to have huge bruises by the time I was fifteen. My stepfather credited it to the fact that I was horsing around with some slut. Mama credited it to my instant liking to basketball. She said the bruises were just a result of my new hobby.

I thought she was right.

Again, I was wrong.

* * *

I could not understand what was happening.

First, I was in varsity practice, shooting perfect shots after another, and the next thing I knew I was lying on a pristine hospital bed, unable to move my body.

The steady beep of the machine was hypnotic.

I wanted to see my mother... however, I was so sure that she would not turn up.

But she did.

Miraculously, she turned up.

I smiled and looked out the window. The scarlet star was there.

Hope.

My mother loved me after all...

* * *

"You are nothing but trouble to me Kaede! Look at what you got into this time! This costs a lot of money!"

I am lying down, immobile, as she rants on how useless I am - along with some nasty comments coming from her husband - my stepfather.

I look out again at the night sky...

It was not always like this.

Before, these emotions did not exist...

Now...

Now, it is a different story.

Pain.

It was the only word I can use to name what plagues me.

Looking at the night sky, I realize one thing - the scarlet star does not represent hope.

It represents pain.

And as my vision blurs, all I could see was swirl of twinkling lights - and then...

Cloying darkness.

There were no stars...

There had always been no stars.

* * * * * * * *

OWARI

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