Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Alone, All Alone ❯ One-Shot

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

By: Hsiu

Alone, All Alone h1 {font:14pt Albertus Extra Bold} p {font:10pt Arial} div {font:10pt Arial}

Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers. It belongs to Softx, TV Tokyo, Hajime Kanzaka, and Rui Araizumi I also do not own "I am a Rock". The song belongs to Simon and Garfunkel, whom I would never try to impersonate, mostly because I'm not into cross-dressing. =P

" ~ " denotes a character's thoughts

" * " denotes emphasis on a word

" !!!!! " denotes that Zelgadiss has probably gone insane

Author's notes: This was originally going to be a serious songfic about Zelgadiss, but then I realized that the song already had 'Zel' written all over it. There was, I reasoned, no need to be *melodramatic* about things. And before anyone asks, I love Zel. I *am* Zel. Zel, as far as I'm concerned, is what makes the world go 'round. Okay, maybe that was a bit drastic. But bottom line is, I wrote this fic because I love Zel. A lot. Not because I am a meanie who enjoys writing mean things about Zel. And maybe I should shut up now. ::goes away before she hurts herself:: Alone, All Alone

A winter's day,

On a cold and dark December

I am alone

Gazing through my window to the streets below

On a freshly fallen, silent shroud of snow.

Zelgadiss sat in his tower of stone, contemplating the snow swirling outside his window. It was cold in his room, even more so for the snow drifts building up in the corners. Some mice had begun making ski slopes out of the larger ones. Zel ignored them. Fools. It was just what he'd expect out of lower life forms, to not realize the symbolism of having two feet of snow soaking into the bedcovers. He could commune with cold, indifferent Nature while remaining inside his chosen prison of stone. It was a metaphor, one Zelgadiss was rather proud of. It had taken him all night to come up with it. Here, in this room, he could cut himself off from the world, with nothing but the snow and some very athletic mice to keep him company.

I've built walls,

A fortress deep and mighty,

Where none may penetrate.

I have no need of friendship,

Friendship causes pain.

It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.

A snowball whizzed by his head. Zel gritted his teeth. Didn't anyone respect symbolism anymore? He couldn't very well be shut away from the world if the local brats insisted on throwing things through his window.

One particularly large snowball struck him on his head, and stuck there. Irritably, Zel removed the offending item from his hair and unfurled the note attached to the densely packed snow and ice.

It read, 'Rock on, Zel! Haha, get it?!' in Lina's handwriting. Growling in disgust, Zel hurled the note at the wall and slightly concussed a mouse. Then he brushed the last remnants of snow from his hair and made his way to the kitchen. He needed some coffee.

Don't talk of love.

Well, I've heard the word before.

It's sleeping in my memory.

I won't disturb its slumber, of feelings that have died.

If I'd never looked, I never would have cried.

The cupboard held nothing but Instant. Zel preferred it that way. Drinking only cheap, imitation coffee was a way to escape the past, to hide from the pain of a lost love.

Almost involuntarily, Zel's memory turned towards days gone by as he beheld the black, swirling cup of coffee. Despite the pain of opening up those old wounds, he delved deeper into the past to a happier time, when he had managed to love and be loved, wholly and unconditionally.

Seamus had been his name. Seamus. Sleek, elegant, sensuous, and bubbling with warmth. Seamus, with whom he had shared everything, from his dreams and desires to endless cups of rich Arabica coffee. Seamus, whom he had loved. Seamus, who had ultimately betrayed him.

I have my books and my poetry to protect me.

I am shielded in my armor,

Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.

I touch no one and no one touches me.

How he remembered the pain! Coming home one day, only to find Seamus sharing a cappuccino with Rezo. The humiliation! He had been left for his own grandfather.

~I was probably just a convenience for him~ Zel thought grimly. ~A way to get to Rezo, that bastard~ He seethed when he thought of Seamus' deception. He had probably never loved him. All the time Zel had been pouring his heart out, Seamus had been pouring coffee for Rezo. Rezo, his grandfather, the one who had already dealt Zelgadiss so much suffering and pain, had even dared to steal Zel's coffee maker.

Zel had never bought another one. Seamus had been the only one he'd ever had, and the only one he ever would have. After his coffee maker, whom he'd thought to be so faithful, left him, Zelgadiss vowed to never again drink brewed coffee. To escape the pain, he allowed himself only Instant.

He never went into department stores. The kitchen and dining section held too many painful memories.

The mail came. Zel usually made the mailman shove bills and letters - not that there were many of *those*- under the door. With a sigh, the chimera picked up his cup of pretend coffee and made his way to the landing.

"I am a rock. I am an island," he said firmly to himself, and promptly fell down the stairs.

~And a rock feels no pain,

And an island never cries~

He thought as he crumpled in an ungraceful heap at the foot of the stone steps. His coffee mug skittered out of his hand and across the floor, spilling its contents everywhere. Zel, still sprawled on the ground, reached for it desperately, but he was too late. The bitter black liquid was already soaking into the flagstones.

Zel dropped his head at the sheer irony of it all. He, a rock, had spooned those coffee crystals into the mug. He, a golem, had poured the water and given the coffee life. Now, it was staining the tower with its precious liquid, giving up its life before it had ever reached his lips. He had lost Seamus the Coffee Maker, his one true love. He had lost his Arabica coffee. And now, even his imitation coffee had left him. He just couldn't win. Zel pounded his head against the ground until his hair became embedded in the rock. A single tear splashed onto the worn flagstone. After a brief struggle, he began to cry in earnest, for the unfairness of life and the fact that he couldn't find a tissue to wipe his nose. He just couldn't win.

Zelgadiss remained all alone, weeping quietly in his tower of stone.

~Hey~ he thought, ~that rhymed~

Finis

C/C and questions should be sent to Luna.Inverse@dragonslave.com

Aaaah! Let me go back!