Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Amelia and the Magic Lamp ❯ Chapter 02 ( Chapter 2 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Amelia
and the Magic Lamp
Part II



The next morning, all of the slayers gang meet downstairs for breakfast.
Zelgadis, as usual, has nothing more than coffee. Amelia has a regular
sized meal...and...Lina and Gourry...

Lina: DARN IT GOURRY! GIMME!

Gourry: No! I risked my life for this!

Lina: You did not!

Zelgadis: Stealing food from you actually does count as
risking his life...

Lina: Shut up. Hey! Gourry, that was MINE!

Gourry: You snooze, you lose.

Lina: To hell with that!

Lina smacks Gourry.

So far, Amelia hasn't seen any improvements, or changes whatsoever
in Gourry's behavior or intelligence. Maybe that genie thing was all a
dream...

Then something unexpected happens. Bandits burst through the door.

Bandit Leader: Lina Inverse! We have come to put an end to your...um...well,
you aren't really bad, but to us, you aren't very good, but um...well,
you see, we don't really like you, and despite the fact that you aren't
really bad, but not really good, we aren't good either, so we....oh gosh,
I'm getting so confused.

The slayers watch as the bandit leader babbles on about something.

Everyone: o.o;

Bandit Leader: Oh...screw the speech. We're just here to kill
you.

Everyone: Oh!

Lina: Hate when this happens.

Bandit Leader: Behind me is an army, which consists of bandits,
trolls, werewolves, and just all-round bad things.

Everyone: (glances at the windows, where the evil guys wave)
Oooh!

Zelgadis: They've certainly put a lot of effort into this.

Everyone applauds.

Bandit Leader: (bows) Aw, you're too kind. It's a shame I have
to kill you all, you're just all so nice.

Gourry whispers something to Zelgadis. Zelgadis stares at him for
a moment, and then nods.

Bandit Leader: So...any last requests?

Zelgadis lowers his voice so that only Lina, Gourry and Amelia can
hear him.

Zelgadis: I need a distraction.

Gourry: Leave it to me.

Bandit Leader: (impatiently) Well???

Gourry stands up.

Gourry: I have a request!

Bandit Leader: And what's that?

Gourry: Um...before you kill us all...I want to...um...sing a
song!

Everyone gives him a weird look.

Bandit Leader: Fine. Get on with it.

Gourry: Okay. Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine
bottles of beer!

Bandit Leader: No! Anything but that song!!

Lina: Take one down, and pass it around...

Both: Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall!

Zelgadis stares at them. Amelia shrugs.

Amelia: Why not?

Lina & Gourry: Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall,
ninety-eight bottles of beer...

Amelia: Take one down, and pass it around...

All Three: Ninety-seven bottles of beer on the wall!

Zelgadis: These people scare me sometimes.

Lina, Gourry & Amelia: Ninety-seven bottles of beer on
the wall, ninety-seven bottles of beer! Take one down, and pass it around,
ninety-six bottles of beer on the wall!

Bandit Leader: (to Zelgadis) I see what you mean.

Generic Werewolf: This is boring.

Generic Bandit: Yeah.

Generic Troll: Who's up for a game of Snakes and Ladders?

Generic Bad Guys: Ooh! Me! Me!

Lina, Gourry & Amelia: Ninety-six bottles of beer on the
wall, ninety-six bottles of beer! Take one down, and pass it around, ninety-five
bottles of beer on the wall! Ninety-five bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-five
bottles of beer! Take one down, and pass it around, ninety-four bottles
of beer on the wall! Ninety-four bottles of beer on the wall...

Generic Bandit: Hey, where'd that stony guy go?

Generic Werewolf: Who cares? I just rolled a six! ^_^

Generic Bandit: ...And landed on a snake.

Generic Werewolf: Shut up!

The Generic Werewolf eats the Generic Bandit.

Meanwhile...

Zelgadis: Okay...let's see...

Zelgadis is walking around on the second floor.

Voices from downstairs: Ninety-three bottles of beer on the
wall, ninety-three bottles of beer!

Zelgadis: ......

Zelgadis finds a curtain, pulls it aside, and finds a rope behind
it, hanging from the ceiling.

Zelgadis: This must be it...

Zelgadis pulls the rope, and walks back downstairs.

Meanwhile...

Lina, Gourry & Amelia: Eighty-nine bottles of beer on
the wall, eighty-nine bottles of beer! Take one down, and pass it around,
eighty-eight bottles of beer on the-

Suddenly, a thick white liquid falls onto the bandit leader from
above.

Bandit Leader: What the-?! Hey! What is this? Glue?! Oh god,
this is gonna stain my clothes.

Lina: I bet it is.

Zelgadis comes running down the stairs. He takes note of the situation.

Zelgadis: ...Oh, this is interesting.

Lina: Isn't it, though?

Amelia stands up on a table and points at the bandit leader, who
is struggling in the glue, and at his army, that is trying to get past
him so they can attack.

Amelia: That's exactly what you get for attempting to kill innocent
people! ...Well, I suppose Lina-san isn't that innocent, but it's
still really unjust, ok? The heavens have answered our cry for help, and
have interfered with your evil plans! If you continue to pursue us, which
I really hope you won't, because you're starting to smell really funky,
JUSTICE shall PREVAIL!!

Bandit Leader: Well, thanks to you people, I have to go change
my clothes...but...I SHALL RETURN!

Amelia: And we shall be waiting, fiend!!

Zelgadis: (eyebrows raised in amusement) And if we're lucky,
we'll have another barrel-full of glue on our side.

Amelia: ...you're ruining the moment.

Bandit Leader: (to his lackeys) Come on!

Generic Werewolf: But we're not done our game yet!

Bandit Leader: We can play Snakes and Ladders when we get back
to our evil headquarters, okay?

Generic Werewolf: Yay!

All the evil guys pack up their board games and leave. Well, the
bandit leader has some trouble leaving because he's covered in glue, but
he manages somehow.

Lina turns to Zelgadis.

Lina: So, what did you do?

Zelgadis: (shaking his head) I don't know. I just pulled the
cord that Gourry told me to-...

Everyone turns to Gourry.

Everyone: .....

Lina: Well? Explain.

Gourry: Well, I got up early this morning, and there were some
bandit people sneaking around the inn, so I figured that they had been
inquiring about you, and were planning to attack. So I got a barrel of
glue, and set up a trap near the doorway, just in case. So when they did
attack, I got Zelgadis to pull the cord that set the trap off. And also,
99 Bottles of Beer was the longest song that could provide enough time
for Zelgadis to do so.

Lina: Where did you get a barrel full of glue from?

Gourry: I mixed it this morning. Really, it's a simple formula.
All you need is- um, why are you all looking at me like that?

Everyone else: .....

Gourry: ....What?

Zelgadis grabs Gourry's shoulder. Lina grabs the other one. They
throw him down into a chair, and don't loosen their grip.

Lina: Alright...

Zelgadis: Who the hell are you and what've you done with Gourry?

Lina: We all know Gourry's way too dumb to pull off something
like that. Right Amelia?

Amelia: Um...yeah...

Gourry shrugs.

Gourry: Well...I...um...

Amelia's mind wanders. It worked. It really worked. What else could
she wish for? Maybe...?

Amelia looks at Zelgadis.

Perhaps the genie could...

Amelia shakes her head. What am I thinking?! she scolds herself,
Love is a precious thing, and it should never be tampered with! But...



Lina: Wow! Look at the time! Lunch already! Hey, lady! Gimme
everything on the lunch menu, and double it!

The waitress blinks at her for a moment, then goes to the kitchen
to get her order.

A few minutes later, the table is covered in plates full of food.

Lina instantly digs in, eating everything in sight in a very unladylike
manner.

Gourry: Hey!!!! Can you untie me now?

Just to be safe, Lina and Zelgadis had tied Gourry to a chair. He
squirms frantically, trying to reach the food on the table.

Gourry: C'mon guys, this is MEAN! ;_;

Lina: Well, we just have to be safe.

Gourry: You can at least give me a little bit...

Lina: We could, but we won't. Hey Amelia, aren't you going to
eat anything?

Amelia: ...I'm not hungry. Excuse me for a minute.

Amelia stands up and goes upstairs quietly.

Lina stares as she leaves, but then shrugs.

Lina: ...Whatever.

Lina then continues consuming food like a vacuum cleaner.



Rufflez: Hiya! Something you need?

Amelia: Yeah...first of all, can you undo my last wish?

Rufflez sighs. Her shoulders sag.

Rufflez: This sucks. Every time someone makes a drastic wish,
they want it undone the day after.

Amelia: Well, I'm sorry, but....that was sort of a test, so....

Rufflez: ...Fine. I'll undo it. But while I'm doing that, please
think of something else you want. Anything else!

Amelia: Okay.



Gourry: C'mon! How much proof do you need that I'm me?! Two plus
two is forty-nine! Sore wa himitsu desu is japanese for 'I like pie'! The
first person to explore the North Pole was Santa Claus!!

Lina and Zelgadis look at each other.

Zelgadis: Perhaps he isn't lying.

Lina: Well...he sounds just as stupid...but anyone can fake being
stupid.

Gourry: (getting desperate) David Moo is the best voice actor
alive!!!!!!!

Everyone gasps.

Zelgadis: Oh. My. God.

Lina: He really is stupid enough to be Gourry!

Lina unties him.

Lina: ^_^; Sorry bout all that.

Gourry: I'm hungry...;_;



TO BE CONTINUED! MWAHAHAHA!

Review!! Those who don't review shall be eaten by my giant evil rabid
pink bunny with sharp pointy teeth named Cuddles!