Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Birth Rite ❯ 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Title: Birth Rite - Chapter 2 of ??

Author: Tsutsuji

Date written: September-October 2005. EDITED December 2005.

Fandom: Slayers!

Rating: R - M - for mature teens and older

Disclaimers and other warnings in Chapter 1

 

Summary: Zelgadis remembers how his latest magical discovery occured in an unexpected way...

 

Notes: I'm trying to stay within the established facts of Slayers magic, history and character backgrounds, at least as far as I understand them. If I'm straying too far out of range, just grin and consider it an AU.

 

AN: EDITED, mainly some changes in the parts before and after the flashback.

 

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Birth Rite, Chapter 2

 

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"It was the first time the Princess had ever seen one of these hideous creatures in the flesh! Well, of course, dear reader, that is only an expression. Monsters are spirits and don't have flesh like humans do. That's why it's so difficult to kill them, even for the Sorcerer; and that's also why this one looked like a thing from a very bad dream the Princess had once had after eating too much cake and ice cream. I really can't describe it to you; if you want to know what this particular Monster looked like, just remember the thing that was chasing after you the last time you had a very bad dream. That's what the Princess saw chasing after her, and of course she ran as fast as she could in the other direction. Even if it hadn't been trying to kill her, I'm certain she would have run away from it just as fast, because who would ever want to get close to such a hideous thing as a Monster!"

 

- from Book Three: The Princess of Fate and the Long Journey

 

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The staff at the inn were even more eager to serve than Zelgadis remembered. In a short time he was dining on oysters, clams, salmon and crab while he watched the light disappear over the ocean through the cottage windows. He almost forgot to worry about what kind of trouble Xelloss could be stirring up in town. His eagerness to search for Skye had almost evaporated in the heat of immediate frustration, but his anticipation for Xelloss' return slowly grew as darkness fell.

 

Thoughtfully, Zelgadis ran a fingertip over the streaks of color inside an oyster shell.

 

"I really didn't travel all this way for a honeymoon trip," he reminded himself. But part of his mind wondered if that was such a bad reason. This relationship he had with Xelloss was like nothing he could have imagined, but it was bound to change eventually. Perhaps it was foolish to search so hard for something that would probably change it even sooner.

 

After all, since the start of his journey with Xelloss he'd learned magic that even the sorcerers of Skye might not have known. The search for information that would lead to a cure had become a habit, but it was also a fact that he would not have have the skill or knowledge he had now if he wasn't a chimera.

 

Zelgadis stared at dark patches of stone on the back of his hand. There had also been times during this journey that he'd wished he hadn't learned quite so much. At those times, he wanted more than ever to be nothing other than human again.

 

It was only because of the campfire stories Xelloss had told that he'd become interested in Skye. Zelgadis had wondered at the time if the story that hinted at a possible cure in the knowledge from the Lost City had been meant to lure him on this quest, even though Xelloss had made it very clear since then that he preferred Zelgadis as he was. In a way, Zelgadis had hoped Xelloss had dropped that hint on purpose. That would make it more likely that there was some truth to the stories after all. But Xelloss didn't seem to realize what an intriguing hint he'd dropped in that story.

 

Zelgadis pushed his plate of empty shells away and stood. He stretched; joints popped and stone skin crackled. He glanced out the window to see that the ocean was becoming a vast shadow as the sky grew dark.

 

Xelloss hadn't returned from town yet, though, so Zelgadis found his way to the baths alone. It wasn't a natural hot spring up here on the seaside cliff, but it was as close as possible to a natural setting amid the rocks and stunted juniper trees. Tendrils of steam rose from the surface of the water toward the open sky. A few lamps were lit, but he didn't expect any other guests to be out here in the dark. He was glad of that, not only for the sake of privacy. The water was never hot enough for him; he casually set off a small Fireball to heat it to a temperature his stone skin could actually feel.

 

Zelgadis sank into the steaming water with a sigh. He closed his eyes and let his awareness of his tense, tired body drift away with his thoughts. He resisted the urge to try to sense Xelloss somewhere nearby. Instead, he tried to think of other things, wondering where his friends were now, and recalling his past journeys along the coast.

 

In spite of his efforts, his thoughts fell back to the last time he'd had the pleasure of a hot bath. It must have been a week ago, when he and Xelloss had happened upon a hot spring high up in the mountains. Few travelers crossed to the coast by the mountain roads, and the bathhouse had been abandoned and crumbling. They spent most of a long night basking in the hot water, looking up at the stars through tall pines while frost formed on the ground.

 

The memory of that night sent a flood of warmth through his body that had nothing to do with the heat of the water. He'd done things with Xelloss on that occasion that he'd never done before.

 

But ever since this journey began, he'd found himself doing things he'd never done with anyone before and never dreamed he would do, especially not with a Mazoku. There were things he'd thought he'd never be able to do with another person while he was stuck in this monstrous body, and other things he'd never imagined were possible.

 

Zelgadis sank up to his chin in the steaming hot water of the bath. It couldn't soften his stone skin, but with the added warmth of his Fireball it was enough to relax tense muscles. As the last of his earlier frustration melted away, another kind of tension grew in his body in anticipation of Xelloss' return from town.

 

All the time they'd spent together only seemed to increase his desire for Xelloss. This was the first time in days that they'd spent so much time so far apart. Xelloss was right: delaying gratification only made the anticipation stronger. His desire to feel Xelloss' presence was a finer warmth than the bath. It was just as sharp now as it had been on the first night after they left Seyruun, when it inspired the discovery of magical knowledge Zelgadis had never imagined he could learn.

 

(The Kingdom of Seyruun, two weeks earlier...)

 

Zelgadis knew something was different between them as soon as they left Seyruun City, but it took him some time to figure out just what had changed.

 

Their first day traveling alone together seemed a lot like their earlier journey, walking through quiet countryside with Xelloss being annoying one moment and charming the next, except that the erotic tension between them was no longer hidden. They both knew how the day would end. Thinking ahead to that, Zelgadis found he was reluctant to stay at the typical village inn where they stopped for a meal just as it grew dark. Xelloss laughed when he muttered that the atmosphere of the place didn't suite him.

 

"If you mean there's not much privacy, I have to agree," he said. "The walls are so thin here, I'm sure we'll have the whole village as an audience, not just the innkeepers!"

 

Zelgadis hid his blushing face deeper inside his hood and stalked away from the inn, with Xelloss chuckling softly as he followed.

 

He would have settled for a sheltered place in a forest, but they were in open farm country. The only trees were in orchards and well-tended woodlots. Finally, a few miles from the village, they came to a farm that had finished its harvest early. A sign advertised "Beds for Travelers," which turned out to be in the bunkhouse where roving farmhands stayed before moving on to the next harvest site. The bunkhouse was out beyond the hay barn, out of sight of the main house. In Zel's experience, farmers were early risers but heavy sleepers, as long as no one roused the dogs or frightened the horses. It was as good a place as they were likely to find, and as far as he wanted to walk that night.

 

Xelloss made the arrangements, disarming the farmwife with his mild manner and his moneybag, while Zel hid his face out of the light from the farmhouse windows. He heard her laugh when the wandering priest explained that his companion was a nervous, young sorcerer.

 

"Well, just so he don't go setting off any Fireballs near the hay barn!" she chided.

 

"I won't give him the opportunity to do any such thing!" Xelloss assured her. "Not literally, anyway," he added, but she was counting her money and didn't catch that part.

 

A few minutes later they opened the door to a long, bare room. Wooden plank walls and floors, bare wooden bunks and a plain table were all covered with dust from haying. Besides the bunks, there were a couple of straw-stuffed sleeping pads on the floor near a fireplace with an empty grate. Zelgadis cast a Lighting spell and let the glowing ball drift up to hover near the ceiling, but it only seemed to darken the shadows in the corners of the room.

 

He stood facing Xelloss in the dusty light, waiting for something to fall into place. When he'd imagined this moment, he thought they would tumble through the door already tangled together, so eager for each other that nothing else mattered. Instead, they both stood there, not speaking, as still as shadows.

 

Zelgadis realized with a shiver that there was something far more real about it, this time. There were with none of the things that had sidestepped thought before, no frantic desperation for the last chance they'd ever have, no tricks or manipulation, no excuses to disguise the fact that they were drawn to each other. And there was no doubt about what they were here to do.

 

It would never be just like this again, either, Zelgadis thought. In spite of all they'd already done, in a way, this would be the first time they were really together.

 

He mentally shook himself. That sounded like they really were some kind of newlyweds, and whatever he'd fallen into with Xelloss, it was nothing so romantic as that. But there was definitely something different here, as if they'd crossed some threshold neither of them had noticed.

 

He didn't know what he was waiting for, unless it was only to savor this moment of anticipation and certainty. He didn't know what Xelloss was waiting for, either, or why he didn't make a move. His eyes were hidden by the shadow his hair cast under the Lighting spell, and the rest of his face was an expressionless mask. If it was some teasing game, Zelgadis didn't feel like playing along. Not knowing how else to begin, so deliberately and consciously, he simply shrugged off his cloak, and then stepped forward to reach for the clasp at Xelloss' throat.

 

At his first touch, Xelloss jumped, almost as if he wasn't expecting to feel Zelgadis' touch. Zel frowned, but he was encouraged by the ordinary, solid feel of the clasp, the cloak, and the body underneath. Xelloss wasn't going to fade away from sight and sensation. Now that he was closer, he realized Xelloss was staring at his mouth. He let his lips curve up into a suggestive smile.

 

The heavy cloak fell to the floor with a soft rustle of fabric. Zelgadis reached under the shirt and let his palm rest against Xelloss' chest. Anyone else might think that he felt a heartbeat or the quick rise and fall of breath, but Zelgadis now recognized it as the pulse of Xelloss' spirit throbbing just below the surface of his human form.

 

Still staring at the lower part of Zel's face, Xelloss slowly pulled off his gloves and placed his palm against Zel's cheek. He let his fingers brush against Zel's ear and through the strands of wire hair.

 

Zelgadis leaned into the touch and turned his head a little, so that his lips barely touched Xelloss' hand near his wrist. Xelloss lifted his eyes to meet Zel's and he smiled, but to Zelgadis, his touch still felt hesitant.

 

"My, my," Xelloss said softly. "You still allow me to touch you."

 

"Allow you?" Zelgadis exclaimed disbelievingly. "It's all I've thought about all day. Don't try to tell me you didn't know that."

 

He held Xelloss' hand in place so he could turn and kiss the surprisingly delicate fingertips. He moved closer, until lips and fingers touched and teased each other. Even then, it almost seemed as if Xelloss was holding his breath, still waiting for something.

 

The held breath came out in a whisper that made Zel's spine shiver.

 

"But, you see, it's very strange to be still able to touch you like this. It's never been this way before."

 

"What are you talking about?" Zel said. The strange tone of Xelloss' voice made him nervous, so he spoke lightly. "You sound like some kind of blushing virgin! I'm not so naive as to think I was your first."

 

"In a way, you are," Xelloss said, matching his casual tone. His voice grew more distracted as Zelgadis continued to nibble on his fingertips. "I've been physically intimate with humans in the past, but no one has ever chosen to be with me after knowing that I'm not human. To put it as delicately as possible for you, Zelgadis-san -- being accepted by the other person was not my goal on those occasions. It's... confusing... this way...." His eyes fell closed and he pressed his own lips to Zel's knuckle.

 

At the same time that the touch of his lips sent a warm tingle from Zel's fingers to his groin, the meaning of his words sank in. He was not as disturbed by them as Xelloss seemed to think he would be. He wasn't surprised that Xelloss had shared some kind of physical intimacy with humans before, especially since he obviously knew what he was doing. If he'd thought about it, he would have guessed that the circumstances would have been very different from this. It made perfect sense that the Mazoku's pleasure would have only come from inspiring fear and pain in his partner. It was what he'd expected from the first time Xelloss had kissed him, anyway.

 

But this was different. Zelgadis was only a little nervous, but not terrified; he felt pleasure and excitement, but none of the dark emotions he had always offered to Xelloss on previous occasions. Even so, he could both sense and see that Xelloss desired him.

 

He remembered the strange look he'd seen on Xelloss' face on another occasion, as if Zelgadis was a temptation he was trying to deny. He realized what had changed, then. He was still amazed that Xelloss wanted to be with him like this, but no longer doubted it and no longer resisted his own desire. For some reason he couldn't fathom, Xelloss still seemed unsure.

 

Incongruously, he remembered Gourry's question outside the gates of Seyruun. It's okay if we like Xelloss, isn't it? he'd asked in innocent concern. It doesn't exactly do him any good, Lina had answered. Mazoku thrived on the fear and disgust they inspired in humans. Naturally, it would be disconcerting at the very least to be accepted, to be wanted -- to be desired.

 

It's too late to change your mind and deny me now, he thought, allowing himself to feel anger at Xelloss for his hesitation. He would have said it aloud, but instead he pulled their hands away so he could kiss Xelloss convincingly.

 

Things progressed more quickly after that, although not with the secretive urgency of the past days and nights in Seyruun when it still felt like these moments might escape their grasp. They undressed each other eagerly but deliberately, never breaking contact. Distracted by his own desire, Zelgadis almost forgot to feel ashamed of his body, although his cheeks still flamed when Xelloss looked at and touched places he thought no one should ever look at him. For a while, they simply knelt together on the sleeping pad, learning and remembering the feel of each other.

 

Zelgadis found once again that Xelloss seemed to relish the pressure of his rough skin, seeking contact that would have been painful to a normal person. He pressed forward, and Xelloss fell beneath him easily.

 

The Mazoku tasted and felt even better than Zelgadis remembered, now that there was time to enjoy him. That dark power swelling just beyond the range of human senses came through his skin like an exotic scent. At the same time, Xelloss' skin, his hair, the way his body moved, were all that Zelgadis could have imagined he would desire in a human lover.

 

And, even aside from his half-closed eyes and his hands clutching at Zel, and the soft moans of delight when Zel's fingers raked his skin, there was the other, more obvious sign of his arousal. Zelgadis stroked him, and suddenly realized he was leaning close and licking his lips. He drew back a little, nipping Xelloss' thigh instead. He wasn't quite ready to take that step yet, but the idea was more intriguing that he thought it would be.

 

Unfortunately for you, Mazoku, I do want you, Zelgadis snarled in his mind. I want your touch, I want your body and, gods help me, I'm starting to want your soul as well.

 

Xelloss was no longer the least bit hesitant, though, once they'd landed on the mattress together. He rolled them over so he was above Zel, as if he couldn't get quite enough of him from being underneath. At first, Zelgadis struggled under him, feeding Xelloss a mixture of frustration and fear. Xelloss returned the favor with flame-hot fingers that stimulated the nerves buried in Zel's rock-armored skin.

 

After a while, though, he gave up any conscious effort to reciprocate. Xelloss tugged his head back to lick his throat, nibbled with warm breath on his ear, and then lapped like a tongue of flame down his chest. Nipples that were nubs of unfeeling stone suddenly awoke with pleasure that stopped his breath and most of his thought, when Xelloss' sharp teeth and tongue stimulated them one after the other.

 

In spite of this, or maybe because of the sensory overload, Zelgadis felt Xelloss' pulsing energy more strongly than ever. His body was overwhelmed and helpless, but his thought reached out toward this dark energy before he knew what he was doing.

 

He caught himself and drew back abruptly, disoriented. For a few seconds, he focused on his breath and his heartbeat, on sounds and sensations in the room, to reconnect with the physical plane. He knew well enough how to reach through and direct energy from the astral side through his body to cast a spell, but reaching through to catch a glimpse and a feel of a mazoku's true form was another matter entirely - a matter of insanity.

 

Xelloss must have sensed his rush of fear without knowing the reason, because he moaned in that way Zel had come to recognize, the sound he made when Zel fed him a particularly strong negative emotion. But that only inspired him to renew his sensual assault on Zel's body, making Zel's mind start to spin away again. As it did, he felt the lure of Xelloss' dark power even more acutely.

 

This time he gave in to it. Using his knowledge of astral side spellcasting and his shamanic senses, Zelgadis kept part of his mind on his body and let the rest slide back and down, out of physical reality....

 

He felt it immediately, right there on the other side - rich, pulsing energy. He knew that what he could sense must be only a very small part of Xelloss, perhaps the equivalent of a fingertip in relation to the Mazoku's whole astral body. It felt both horrible and fascinating. A ripple of dread crawled through him, and yet, for some reason, he was drawn to it as undeniably as he was attracted to Xelloss' physical form. Desire pulled his spirit closer to it until his thought seemed to touch it.

 

It was hot and icy, solid and yet constantly in motion, as far as his mind could sort out sensations that weren't physical. His fascination with it allowed him to focus more of his mind into a form that could touch it. As he did so he became aware that more of the same energy was all around him, but he kept his spirit focused on this one small part. He concentrated, and - somehow - stroked it with his thought.

 

His tendril of spirit was tiny and feeble compared to all of Xelloss' power; he doubted the Mazoku would even notice him. But all at once his physical senses were distracted by movement and sound that drew his mind back to his body's reality.

 

Xelloss had moaned loudly against his shoulder. Zelgadis pried his eyes open to look down. He was draped across Zel's chest, leaning on him heavily. His fist was clenched in the hair at the nape of Zel's neck. As Zel's senses tuned back in to his body, he felt Xelloss' chest rise and fall against his, as if he was gasping for breath.

 

As soon as his mind was distracted away from the spirit side, Xelloss' breathing quieted a little. Zel rubbed his chin against soft hair and clutched his hands around Xelloss' back where the skin was smooth but hot to his touch.

 

"Zel-san," Xelloss said in a choked whisper. "No one has ever... I didn't think...."

 

Zelgadis realized what he must mean, as incredible as it seemed. But then again, why should it be so strange that no one had ever touched Xelloss' astral form before, except to attack him from that side? It wasn't likely that Mazoku went around caressing each other's spirit forms! But then, he couldn't have guessed that it would feel good to a Mazoku to be caressed, anyway. Perhaps Xelloss didn't know it would, either. Judging from his reaction, it must have felt almost too good to endure.

 

He settled his arms around Xelloss more tightly to steady both of them, and then closed his eyes and drew back again. It was difficult to keep part of his physical senses alert for Xelloss' response and still focus his mind on the spirit realm, but out of curiosity and desire he managed it, just enough to find that place again and touch that small part of Xelloss' spirit.

 

On the physical plane, he felt Xelloss shiver and heard him cry out again. Then he sensed something else... dark spirit energy pulsing around him, fiercely present, closing on him like a solid darkness. It wanted him. He could feel its longing for him like a tangible thing, but it was too huge and wild for his small spark of spirit to bear. He lost all sense of his body and started to lose all sense of himself. There was nothing but that deep, hungry darkness - that and his own pounding fear. The darkness absorbed his terror and grew from it. He was nothing but a tiny spark that was about to be snuffed out.

 

The darkness seemed to draw together into a moving wall that slammed him forward...

 

The next thing he knew, he was lying on his back staring up at a faded Lighting spell and panting for breath like a landed fish. His heart was racing so fast he thought it would burst from his chest, and his whole body ached. The scent of hay and stale bedstraw mingled with the tang of his own sweat. His limbs shook but felt too heavy to move.

 

He felt like he'd been hit with an astral attack spell - and then he realized that in a way, he had been, even though Xelloss hadn't meant to attack him.

 

In fact, Xelloss' arms were around him, and amethyst eyes were staring angrily into his. He stared back, afraid to let his eyes close, as if that would cause him to fall back out of his body again. After a moment, Xelloss smiled. That helped him find his voice.

 

"What... did you... just do... to me?" he gasped between gulps of dust-filled air.

 

"Something I've certainly never done before," Xelloss said. Zelgadis couldn't decide if his tone was smug or full of wonder. "I pushed you out of the astral realm and back into your body. I rather prefer your body when it's animated with your spirit, you see, and it appeared to me that you were about to leave it behind, permanently."

 

"That wasn't my intent," Zelgadis assured him. He was finally starting to catch his breath. He realized he'd been holding Xelloss' arm in a white-knuckled grip, and loosened his fingers but didn't let go completely. "I just wanted to touch you. I don't know why. It was a moment of insanity. I don't know what I was thinking. I didn't expect it to be like that." He swallowed to stop himself from babbling, and frowned up at Xelloss' amused face. "By the earth and stars, Xelloss, you're huge!"

 

Xelloss' right eyebrow twitched. He shifted so that Zelgadis was leaning against his chest and their legs were stretched out on the bed together. With a grin, Xelloss took his hand and drew it down between his legs.

 

"If I'm too big for you, Zel-san, you should have said something sooner!" he crooned.

 

It took Zelgadis' dazed brain several seconds to figure out what he meant. He yanked his hand away with a glare, but then thought better of that move, and placed it back where Xelloss had placed it. Xelloss' eyes fell half-closed.

 

"That's not exactly what I meant!" Zelgadis grumbled. "Your body, I mean, this, is big - in a good way! Your true body, though - is that what that was?"

 

"Yes," Xelloss said simply. "In part. The real question is not what did I do to you, but what did you do? Have you ever done that before? I didn't know even shamanic magic allowed you to access both the spirit and physical planes of existence at once."

 

"No," Zelgadis admitted, shaking his head. "Training in shamanic magic requires some astral body work, as I'm sure you know. But it's really more a matter of learning to connect with the other side, to draw power from it. There's a branch of shamanic study, trance magic, but it never seemed very practical. I was always more interested in learning potent attack spells and swordsmanship."

 

"Of course. You wanted a strong spirit as well as a strong body, so you could do strong magic. And you got more than you bargained for, so to speak."

 

Zelgadis didn't reply to that right away. He didn't like to remember that, in his twisted way, Rezzo had given him exactly what he'd asked for.

 

"I could barely cast a spell at all before Rezzo made me a chimera. I learned them, but I had no power to make them work."

 

"And now, you can cast one of the most potent Ra Tilt attacks I've ever seen! Are you even aware of how strong your astral spirit really is, Zelgadis?"

 

Xelloss sat back and touched his face, looking at him intently, as if studying him. Zelgadis gazed back at him, wondering what he was seeing. Then he gasped and stiffened as he suddenly became more sharply aware of Xelloss' aura of power reaching out to him from the other side.

 

His heart began to pound again. Just when he was about to jerk away to break contact, Xelloss lowered his eyes. The sense of being probed from the other side ceased.

 

"I don't think you do know," Xelloss said thoughtfully. "That's why you lost control when I responded to you on the astral side."

 

"If you're saying I didn't know what I was doing, you're quite right. Trying to keep my awareness in both planes at once.... That's not how it's done! It's probably not even possible."

 

"It is, actually," Xelloss mused. "This is one of those areas of magic in which the Sorcerer's Guild still has a limited understanding. However..."

 

He fell silent. Resting his head on Zel's shoulder, he seemed to be staring at something unseen in the dimly lit room.

 

Zelgadis still didn't want to close his eyes. He felt as drained as if he'd done some major spellcasting, but his physical senses were on high alert. He was distinctly aware of Xelloss' arms around him, and he could hear the slightest rustle of movement. He stared around at the bare room to ground himself in the physical plane, but there was nothing much to look at. His own blue skin and Xelloss' dark hair and pale body, were the only splashes of color to be seen.

 

Even as tense and exhausted as he was, he felt nearly as satisfied to lie here like this as if he'd reached climax with Xelloss - almost. When Xelloss' hand started to roam over his chest and stomach, he knew he'd be wanting more soon. But Xelloss didn't seem to be working to any purpose. He trailed his fingers over the rocky planes on Zel's torso idly, obviously preoccupied with other thoughts. Impatiently, Zelgadis caught Xelloss' wandering hand under his own and tried to catch the mazoku's eye.

 

"Xelloss, I can't believe I'm going to ask this, but: what are you thinking?"

 

Xelloss smiled in a familiar, secretive way, and the amethyst eyes focused on him again.

 

"Well, it's a little complicated. I couldn't do something like this on a whim, you know."

 

"Something like what?" Zelgadis asked cautiously.

 

"Back in Shimeria, you didn't realize that your power was being drawn off by the magical seal working through the Relics, did you?"

 

Zelgadis frowned, confused by the change of subject to something he'd rather not think about.

 

"No, not really," he admitted. "Not until I got to the shrine. But you noticed it as soon as we came to the Valley, you said."

 

"Yes. Now, it's possible that the remaining relics might still be able to weaken your magical capacity in the same way." He paused and shrugged. "Not very likely, I suppose, since you broke the seal, but why take unnecessary chances?"

 

"Why indeed?" Zelgadis echoed, wondering where this was going.

 

"If they can, you could be at risk if we ever meet up with vengeful Followers of Shimer," Xelloss continued.

 

"I suppose it could," Zelgadis said doubtfully. "But I don't intend to meet up with any of them any time soon, if ever."

 

"I'm aware of that, Zel-san. However!"

 

He raised himself up on his elbows to look down at Zelgadis. His eyes glittered behind his bangs, and his expression was smug.

 

"What are you getting at, Xelloss?"

 

"Just this: If you were properly trained and more fully aware of your astral side powers, you would be better prepared to deal with the Followers of Shimer. Therefore, as it's my duty to protect you from them, I'm justified in teaching you more about your astral body than the Sorcerer's Guild could teach you in a thousand years."

 

Zelgadis felt his jaw drop, and he saw Xelloss' smug grin grow wider.

 

"You're suggesting that you, a Mazoku, are going to teach me, a human, how to do astral magic? Isn't there something fundamentally wrong with this scenario?"

 

"It's certainly an unusual situation," Xelloss admitted lightly. His grin became more suggestive, then, and he slid his hand out from under Zel's to move it lower. When he closed his warm fist around Zel's lack of erection and leaned closer, Zel felt a shiver of anticipation run up his spine.

 

"However," Xelloss continued in a quieter voice, "since it seems that size is an issue between us, I want to assure you that you are not as inadequate as you seem to think you are."

 

For the first time since he'd fallen back into his body, Zelgadis let his eyes start to close, letting the sensory pleasure of Xelloss' touch take over. At the same time, though, he realized what Xelloss was saying. He laughed softly.

 

"You really did like it, didn't you?" he said, a little breathlessly as the pressure of Xelloss' hand started to have a predictable effect. "Teaching me to defend myself against hypothetical Shimerians is just a.... convenient... excuse..."

 

He broke off then, too preoccupied with what Xelloss was doing to put more words together.

 

"Certainly not," he heard Xelloss say. "I can't go around teaching advanced magic to humans merely for my own enjoyment, now, can I?"

 

"Mazoku logic," Zelgadis muttered. Then Xelloss licked the pulse point under his ear, and that was the last coherent thought he had for some time.

 

After that, it became what he'd imagined it would be from the start. Xelloss pressed him down into the sleeping pad with his whole body, and when he wasn't drawing Zel's breath away with his deep, hungry kiss, Zelgadis could do nothing but throw his head back and moan.

 

Xelloss groaned as well and writhed on top of him, as if he was trying to tear himself open on the sharp stones embedded in Zel's skin. Zelgadis felt the first waves of fear in response to Xelloss' power and urgency, and felt Xelloss grow harder when those waves hit him. He let his emotions sink down into familiar self-loathing, disgust with himself for his own weakness, for craving a monster's touch.

 

He could taste the magical essence of Xelloss' body, but gradually he became aware of it in another way as well. It was subtle at first but it grew in pace with his body's arousal. As urgently as Xelloss claimed him physically, on the other side his touch was delicate and teasing, coaxing Zel's spirit to respond in spite of his fear.

 

Zelgadis had no choice this time; his senses were being stimulated on both sides, splitting his awareness in two. He'd thought it felt like madness before when he'd given Xelloss his pain and received blinding pleasure in return; he thought it had felt like some powerful spell almost beyond his control when Xelloss filled his body and drew him to a screaming climax. This time, it was all of that and more. He felt like his mind had shattered when his spirit convulsed along with his body. And Xelloss, of all people, caught the scattered pieces and melted them back together.

 

A strange dream of Xelloss lying next to him - a black shape with inhuman eyes watching him - resolved itself into the reality of lying on a lumpy sleeping pad in a dusty bunkhouse. As usual, when he opened his eyes, Xelloss was close to him, smiling but with his eyes closed, as if he was waiting to sense his first waking emotions. Zelgadis wasn't sure what he felt; nearly numb, but exhilarated, and then when it started to sink in, terrified.

 

"Well done, Zelgadis-san," Xelloss murmured in a voice touched with humor. The inhuman eyes opened, just as they did in that fleeting dream, except there were only two of them. "You survived your first lesson."

 

Zelgadis felt like he'd lost his voice some time in the last few minutes. Maybe it was back there, still screaming Xelloss' name in the other dimension. Beyond the satisfied lethargy of his body, he was aware of a humming glow in his spirit, as if it couldn't settle after being so overstimulated. It was not unpleasant, but it distracted him from this moment he craved nearly as much as the sex. He rolled over and caught Xelloss' solid body in his arms, and used it to ground himself in the physical world again.

 

A tremor ran through Xelloss, reminding Zel of the way he'd jumped when they'd first touched earlier. A second later he settled into Zel's embrace so comfortably that he would have thought he'd imagined it, except for the strange words Xelloss whispered to himself a moment later.

 

"And it seems I've survived it as well..."

 

 

---

 

 

(Mystport, the present...)

 

Zelgadis still wondered sometimes what Xelloss had meant by those words. He knew by now that his own power was far greater than he'd ever realized, but it certainly wasn't enough to be any threat to Xelloss even if he ever truly mastered it. Now and then he thought he sensed that same hesitation again, but it vanished so quickly that he was never sure it was real.

 

Zelgadis was quite certain that Xelloss was right. Shamanist Magic could never have taught him what he'd learned from a Mazoku whose natural existence was on the astral side. At times the terror of touching a pure, alien spirit was almost too much to bear, but the power he was slowly gaining was worth it.

 

However, at a moment like this while he was waiting for Xelloss to return so he could reach out to him again, Zelgadis knew that the quest for power was just an excuse, just as much as Xelloss' claim that teaching him astral magic was for his own protection. Xelloss might never admit it, but Zelgadis knew they really did it because they couldn't help themselves, because they wanted to - because they wanted each other. Sometimes, Zelgadis knew that was reason enough.

 

He reheated the water in the bath with another little blast from his hand, then lay back and looked up at the stars that seemed to be floating in a thin mist overhead. He felt much better for the meal and the time alone to reflect and relax. It might have been a mistake to send the restless Mazoku off to town on his own, but he doubted Xelloss would waste a lot of energy stirring up trouble. He certainly couldn't read Xelloss' emotions like Xelloss could sense his, but he had no doubt about the anticipation he'd felt rising between them before Xelloss left.

 

The hot water was a sensual pleasure, but not as arousing as his memories. Thoughts of what they would do when Xelloss returned were even more stimulating. Zelgadis shifted in the water to accommodate his growing arousal, but what he desired now was the touch of Xelloss' hand. Even after all that he'd done with Xelloss, he still couldn't bring himself to touch himself that way. His disgust with his own body would never change. But that was part of the reason Xelloss was drawn to him, after all. If he wasn't a chimera, he wouldn't have all of this knowledge and power, and he wouldn't have Xelloss. At a moment like this, that was all he wanted.

 

Beyond the stimulation of his body, Zelgadis felt his spirit awaken as well, as if it was seeking stimulation of its own. He slipped his awareness into it as if he was slipping his hand into a glove that could reach beyond the length of his fingers. It wasn't that simple, really, but that was the thought he used to focus it into a form with which he could touch Xelloss. He didn't need to look at the shape it took, he only needed to reach out with his thought and his desire...

 

Mere longing wasn't enough, though, apparently. The astral power fell from his mental grasp and his awareness slipped back into his body. He opened his eyes and sighed, staring up at the stars.

 

A second later the stars disappeared. Zelgadis blinked. Xelloss hovered in the air above the pool with his hair and cloak flapping in the sea breeze.

 

"Xelloss!" he gasped, startled, and then added, "It's about time!"

 

Xelloss said nothing but smiled down at him. He crouched down, still hovering several feet overhead.

 

"There's a view worth traveling all this way to see!" he said with a leer.

 

Zelgadis realized he was peering down through the water to where his body was stretched out on the rocks and obviously aroused. Instinctively he began to sit up and pull his legs in, but it was too late for that. Xelloss' cloak and the rest of his clothes vanished. He drew his knees up to his chest and plummeted down into the water like one of Jillas' cannonballs, sending a wave of steaming water over Zel's head.

 

Zelgadis was still snorting water out of his nose a second later when he realized that Xelloss was sitting on his lap, straddling his thighs. He froze, although it was with more of a melting sensation than anything else, when Xelloss rocked against him and lifted his knees up under Zel's arms. This was exactly what he'd done the last time Zelgadis had had a hot bath, and how Zel had ended up doing something he could still hardly believe he'd done. Obviously, Xelloss remembered that just as well. He lifted Zel's chin and smiled down at him, so close their lips almost touched. Close enough the must have felt the breath of Zel's gasp when he wiggled so that Zel's erection fit more snugly against his bottom.

 

"Now, then," Xelloss said thoughtfully. "Where did we leave off in our last lesson?"

 

He touched Zel's cheek, trailing a finger over the stones on his chin.

 

"Xelloss-sensei," Zelgadis breathed against his lips.

 

"Hmm? Do you have a question for me?"

 

"No," Zel said. "Shut up."

 

He caught Xelloss' mouth with his and threw his arms around him to pull him down. That was the end of lessons for the moment, at least.

 

---

to be continued.

next: How Xelloss entertained himself on his solo excursion into town while Zelgadis was doing all this reminiscing in the bath.