Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Birth Rite ❯ 7 ( Chapter 7 )

Title: Birth Rite - Chapter 7 of ??

Author: Tsutsuji

Date written: December 2005-January 2006

Fandom: Slayers!

Pairing Xelloss/Zelgadis

Rating: R - M - for mature teens and older

Warning: Lemon, angst, brief violence - gets kind of dark.

Disclaimers and other warnings in Chapter 1

Spell checked, self-beta'd. Please inform me of typos or other errors. Thanks!

This chapter came out a little bit strange, and I hope it makes sense. Feedback is especially appreciated.

 

Summary: Xelloss finds he has too much time to think on the way to the mysterious village of Wyndcliff, but it's Zelgadis who has the insight.

 

---

 

Birth Rite chapter 7

 

***

 

The ground shook under the Princess' feet as the huge Monster fell to the ground with a horrible scream. The Sorcerer's magical black sword vanished from her hands, but it had served its purpose. She had finally defeated the Chaos Dragon.

 

The Princess breathed a sigh of relief. Of all the horrible Monsters she'd met, the Chaos Dragon was by far the most horrible of all! Even Xelloss, that despicable Trickster Priest, was not as horrible, even though he was really a Monster all along. She had even felt a little sorry for him when the vicious Chaos Dragon had cut off his arm. Even if your friend turned out to be a Monster, if you ever saw him in agony like that you'd feel sorry for him, too.

 

Alas, it seemed that neither the Sorcerer nor her friends were going to get to rest just yet! The ground began to shake again as if the mountain was starting to crumble. Was the Chaos Dragon coming back to life, or could it be something even worse? And suddenly the Princess found she had another worry: the little boy who had been so nice to her was nowhere to be found! What could have happened to him, and what new, terrible thing was going to happen to the rest of them now?

 

The Princess and her friends were about to find out, but I'm afraid I can't tell you what happened just yet! Those questions will be answered, and many other secrets will be revealed, in the final chapter of our story: The Princess of Fate and the Sorcerer's Secret!

 

-- from the conclusion of Book 5: The Princess of Fate and the Deceptive Dragon

***

 

The storm swept ashore at dusk. By that time Xelloss and Zelgadis were deep in the forest again, but the road marked on Osprey's map had taken them down behind a ridge that blocked some of the wind off the sea. The road was grass covered but it was wide and level, as if it had once led somewhere important. When the rain began to fall and the wind made the trees moan over their heads, they decided to seek shelter for the night. The best they could find was a hollowed out space under a ledge where the road cut through a hillside.

 

Sitting there on the ground with their backs toward the hill, Xelloss thought he could feel the sea pounding ashore on the other side of the ridge. Zelgadis sat next to him, munching on something from his pack, and smiling. That seemed strange, Xelloss thought, considering all that had happened that day, and considering that they were sitting under a ledge with rain pouring down and wind roaring overhead.

 

The night became black, except for the rare flash of lightning that made Zel's metallic hair gleam like sword metal. But even in the dark, Xelloss could see that smile. He couldn't quite sift out Zelgadis' emotions, though, and that was unsettling.

 

Ordinarily, Xelloss would enjoy watching a storm rage in from the sea; a night like this reminded him of home. However, on this occasion it was only an inconvenience that kept them from traveling, and that gave him time to think, which was something he really could do without at the moment. Even the discovery of Martina's book and his curiosity about this strange village they were seeking weren't enough to distract him any longer. In fact, being reminded of Wolf Pack Island only increased his sense of uneasiness. Sitting here next to Zelgadis on the ground in the stormy darkness, Xelloss' couldn't help thinking back to the attack in the cove and the words that had somehow come out of his mouth afterward.

 

He'd only been doing his duty when he saved Zelgadis' life this time. The sudden decision to incinerate all of the Soldiers at once didn't go against his orders in any way, either, even if he'd originally planned something rather more entertaining for them. But however carefully he might have worded it, he had a very uncomfortable feeling that he'd spoken against his Mistress' wishes when he'd given Zelgadis the convenient excuse to leave Mystport.

 

Priorities, Xelloss reminded himself firmly. Protecting Zelgadis from the Soldiers of Shimer was a matter of honor and obligation. Destroying the Soldiers was simply his job. He should have been able to do both. Nearly failing at one task didn't give him the right to avoid the other. He couldn't understand how such simple duties had become so... confusing.

 

He could almost convince himself that leaving Mystport like this was still part of his duty to protect Zelgadis, just as he told himself every day that teaching Zelgadis advanced astral magic was for the same purpose. But each time he thought of that arrow flying through the air on a direct path to Zelgadis' heart, he knew why he'd really said those words, and it wasn't because of any orders he'd been given at all.

 

He might not have chosen to be sitting so close, so that their hips and knees and shoulders were touching like this, if there were any more room under the ledge. He thought of putting up a spell barrier against the weather to give them more space; he thought of lighting a fire so that he could move to the other side of it; he even thought of going out into the rain. He was too sharply aware of the pressure of Zel's shoulder against his, the chimera's rough, cool skin pressing against his through damp fabric. The same shoulder where a poisonous arrow had been lodged a short time ago.

 

But instead of the small wound from that arrow, he kept thinking of a great, gaping hole in the chimera's chest, and instead of the slim thread of poisonous magic winding its way into Zelgadis' spirit, he kept remembering the lifeblood dripping onto scalding hot stone in a steam-filled cavern. It was not a pleasant memory.

 

Xelloss sat with his head bowed and his eyes closed. His simmering fury at Shimer's Soldiers turned into rage at himself. He really should hunt down and kill the Keepers and every last one of Shimer's followers, and destroy every one of their enchanted weapons. He shouldn't be sitting here under a ledge in the rain, listening for the sound of the chimera's steady heartbeat under the roar of the storm.

 

But he had to do this, didn't he? He had to follow Zelgadis, guard him, watch him, listen to him, every step of the way. It wasn't his decision to take them both far away from the Soldiers of Shimer and their weapons. In spite of what he'd said, it really wasn't his idea to take this road.

 

He told himself that, but sitting there with the storm wind moaning in the trees overhead, he knew that just wasn't true.

 

It didn't seem to be his idea to place his hand on Zel's arm where that arrow had been, either, but there it was, somehow. He didn't even realize he'd put it there until rough stone fingers closed over his. He didn't look up when he felt Zelgadis' cheek press against the side of his head.

 

"You looked so pleased, after you killed them," Zelgadis said musingly. "I thought it was because you were enjoying my pain as well. I even thought for a moment that you wanted them to attack me, just for that reason."

 

Foolish chimera, Xelloss thought. You should have been right. How could it be that Zelgadis' pain only caused him to feel fury and rage rather than pleasure? But that wasn't quite true, either. Not always.

 

Xelloss smiled and slowly turned his head until he felt the stone chips on Zelgadis' chin rasp against his face. When his lips brushed Zel's, he squeezed his fingers around the chimera's arm.

 

"Ah, but you see, I only really enjoy your pain when I'm the one to give it to you," he said.

 

Zelgadis parted his lips, and Xelloss caught his lower lip between his teeth. Stone fingers clenched his, pressing them deeper into stone flesh.

 

"I know," Zelgadis breathed against his mouth.

 

Damn you, Zelgadis, Xelloss thought. He didn't know why. He bit down hard enough to taste blood through stone. Zelgadis winced, but instead of shrinking from him or pushing him away, the chimera leaned into him more.

 

Zelgadis let go of his hand and clutched at his shirt instead, tugging him around and over. Xelloss followed the pull of that hand and, even more irresistible, the touch of the spirit that reached for his. He turned and rose up on his knees, still holding Zelgadis' arm in a vice grip while he twisted his other hand in wire strands of hair, pulling back so that Zelgadis' mouth fell open in a gasp that he swallowed hungrily.

 

The wind shifted suddenly; rain blew in and soaked them both. Xelloss pressed Zelgadis back against the dirt and stones under the ledge. He released Zel's shoulder so that he could yank the shaman's tunic and cloak out of his way, and then raked his fingertips over Zel's ribs and his chest, making sparks fly from the stone skin. Moaning, Zelgadis slid lower and tangled his legs around Xelloss', grinding their hips together. At the same time, Zel's spirit form rippled against his, setting off shockwaves of pleasure.

 

It was too much pleasure, too much of this craving for a human's touch. It was wrong.

 

"Damn you!" he screamed. Suddenly furious, he slammed Zelgadis into the dirt with his full weight. Air whooshed from the chimera's lungs and his heart pounded frantically against Xelloss' chest. He twisted his spirit around Zel's, pressing in on it, trying to keep it still, and bore down harder on his stone body - as if crushing both body and spirit might smother his own desire.

 

He tasted delicious fear. Zel's eyes were wide, staring up at his face. For a moment, the terror was real and pure. Struggling for breath underneath him, Zelgadis feared for his life, and his small, fragile spirit fluttered in Xelloss' powerful grasp. But every tiny movement only made Xelloss want him even more.

 

Zelgadis swallowed hard and closed his eyes, while Xelloss lay on top of him and listened to his shallow, rasping breaths. Glittering blue eyes opened again slowly, staring up at Xelloss' mouth. Zelgadis whimpered, but his sweet, seductive fear was mingled with hunger as he somehow managed to raise his head and bring their lips together.

 

It was no use, Xelloss realized. He couldn't resist what Zelgadis offered. Beneath fear and desire, the chimera's understanding of his need raked his spirit like shards of glass. He couldn't resist even that pain. He needed that, too.

 

He released the struggling spirit and pulled back a little on the physical plane. Zelgadis drew in a deep, desperate breath, but as soon as he had it, he took Xelloss' mouth in an even deeper kiss.

 

Scrambling in the dirt and the rain, Xelloss somehow managed to strip Zelgadis' wet clothing off his body while still holding him down, even though Zel's hungry mouth was on him all the time. His astral body pulsed around Zelgadis' spirit, caressing it now. The chimera's hard stone body responded; Zelgadis twisted his arms and legs around him and squirmed against his bare skin, teasing and demanding.

 

Finally, sprawled in the dirt between the ledge and the road, Xelloss gave in to what they both wanted and buried himself in Zelgadis' body. Feasting on his chimera's desperate fear and longing, he could finally ignore his own.

 

Lightning flashed above the trees. In the flickering glare, Zelgadis' hard, wet body gleamed. Sapphire eyes flashed up at him. He held Zelgadis down in the dirt with one hand, but only his shoulders were still on the ground; his back was arched and his hips were raised to meet Xelloss' thrusts. His lip was swollen where Xelloss had bitten it, but his fingers scratched deep welts in Xelloss' arm.

 

Zelgadis pulled Xelloss' other hand to close around his own hardness. As another flash seared the air a minute later, Zelgadis threw his head back and screamed to the sky as he came.

 

The vision of Zelgadis like that in the brief flare of silver light filled Xelloss' mind, and finally replaced the memory of him bleeding and dying. The thunder that followed was drowned in his own roar of release.

 

He slid free of Zel's body and fell to the ground beside him with his cheek in the mud. His face pressed against the chimera's shoulder and one arm lay over Zel's chest where he could feel it rise and fall, and feel the pounding of his heart. The rain still pelted down on them; after a moment Zelgadis rolled toward him, snorting water.

 

Xelloss didn't feel any need to move. After a few minutes of lying there in the rain and mud, it was Zelgadis who finally roused himself enough to half roll, half crawl back under the ledge, pulling Xelloss along with him. He grumbled something incoherent as he settled against Xelloss and immediately fell asleep.

 

Zelgadis' body was nearly as wet, cold, and jagged as the ground underneath, but it was alive and whole. As strange and wrong as it might be for a Mazoku, Xelloss preferred it that way. With the storm raging on outside their tiny shelter, he lay there in the dark and tried very hard not to think about anything at all.

 

 

---

 

"Foolish Mazoku."

 

The muttered words startled Xelloss into looking up from the fading glow of the campfire.

 

Morning had blown in dark and windy, with mist all around and water dripping from the trees. Long before Zelgadis awoke, Xelloss had finally made a barrier against the weather and built a fire within it. He'd been sitting there alone for a couple of hours, staring at the embers even though they had done nothing to settle his confusion. He'd decided over and over again that he should simply return to Mystport on his own, but he hadn't moved. Confusion was as crippling as Shimer's curse. Before Zelgadis sat up and spoke to him, Xelloss had begun to think he might not ever move again.

 

Now Zelgadis sat across from him, calmly drinking his morning cup of coffee. Xelloss had dressed himself in shirt, pants and boots, but Zelgadis was still wrapped in nothing but Xelloss' cloak, which he'd unthinkingly conjured to cover both of them sometime in the middle of the night. Like so many other things lately, he had no idea why he'd done that, and now wished he hadn't. The cloak was a part of him; if he let himself, he could feel Zel's body wrapped within it. He didn't let himself feel anything from it at all.

 

He hardly wanted to know his own emotions; he'd been shielding himself from Zelgadis' ever since he'd risen to make camp. At the sound of his voice, the chimera's emotions broke through to him. There was the familiar irritation but there was also an unexpected taste of humor, and then there was something else he couldn't fathom, something that Zelgadis seemed to be trying to suppress. That odd smile had returned. Not what he expected, but then, he didn't know what he'd been expecting. The other emotion he couldn't name made him squirm inside, but he raised his eyes to face Zelgadis as calmly as he could.

 

"What does that mean?" he asked.

 

"Why didn't you just tell me? You know I have no love for the Keepers and Soldiers of Shimer. What did you think, that I wouldn't have the guts to kill them?"

 

"I..." Xelloss blinked in surprise. That was what Zelgadis was irritated about? Not about how Xelloss had taken him last night in the mud and rain, or how he'd slammed him into the ground in his moment of rage? Xelloss could still taste the fear that had flooded him in that moment, but there was nothing like fear in Zelgadis' aura now.

 

He drew his mind away from that memory and considered the question. He supposed that was part of the reason he'd kept that aspect of his mission a secret, thinking that Zelgadis only wanted to avoid Shimer's grinning maniacs at all costs, but put like that it sounded absurd. He knew perfectly well how ruthless Zelgadis could be. The only other reason he could think of was his habit of keeping secrets.

 

"Hmph," Zelgadis laughed flatly. "Did I ever thank you for killing Zuller and saving me the trouble?"

 

"Why, no, now that you mention it," Xelloss said mildly, trying to regain his composure. "But no thanks are necessary. Under the circumstances, it was my pleasure!"

 

"I'm sure it was," Zelgadis said with a grim smile. "In spite of the fact that he probably didn't even wince."

 

"That's true, regrettably," Xelloss said. "Zuller's fanaticism and the effect of the Relics insulated him from negative emotions. Killing him had to be its own satisfaction."

 

Zelgadis sat back a little and raised his cup to his lips, but he continued to watch Xelloss over the rim. Xelloss returned his look as steadily as he could; he still felt wary and off balance. Zelgadis seemed unusually self-assured, as if he knew something Xelloss didn't.

 

Zelgadis set the cup aside with a sigh, releasing Xelloss from his gaze for a moment. He picked up his sword, which had been lying on the ground beside the fire along with most of their other belongings. Everything had gotten wet and all of Zelgadis' clothes were covered in mud; Xelloss had laid everything out by the fire to dry. Zelgadis pulled the sword from its scabbard and placed it across his knees to wipe it clean. Xelloss watched curiously as he ran his fingers along the blade.

 

"Xelloss. I apologize," he said quietly.

 

Again Xelloss was startled by his words, but again he hid his surprise. He merely cocked his head and raised an eyebrow.

 

"Oh? Whatever for?"

 

"For keeping you from your duty. I didn't realize I was making things - complicated for you. I admit, I would be perfectly happy if I never saw another smiling, idiotic Follower of Shimer in my entire life. When you told me they would be hunting for us, I should have realized that would be impossible. "

 

Xelloss wondered if Zelgadis could possibly realize just how complicated things had become. Only one thing seemed clear to Xelloss himself at that moment.

 

"I'm afraid it will be. But you also didn't take me seriously when I said that my duty is to protect you from them," Xelloss said. "It's quite serious, I assure you."

 

"I realize that - now. I also realize that the threat is more serious than I thought, not only to me but to you, as well." He looked up and caught Xelloss' gaze then. His eyes glittered with hard light although his voice was mild as he leaned forward again. "Did it never occur to you that the danger to you might matter to me as well?"

 

Xelloss was thrown completely off balance. Zelgadis' emotion - a blend of cold fury, scathing hatred, and dread - he'd felt it before, back in the Great Hall at the Shrine of Shimeria. He was sure it had been for him at the time, but that was before Zelgadis had destroyed the Shrine.

 

Xelloss knew that Zelgadis had risked his life and thrown away his cure to save Xelloss in Shimeria. More than that, he knew why. He owed Zelgadis his protection for that, but he'd finally admitted to himself last night that it was more than duty that drove him to make sure the chimera's heart continued to beat.

 

Zelgadis couldn't possibly understand that Xelloss risked his own life, his very existence, simply by making that choice. He was a Mazoku, and Mazoku didn't have choices - they only had duties. A Mazoku lived for death and destruction. He shouldn't have this horrible need to keep a human heart beating with life.

 

He couldn't stop the shudder that ran through him. Zelgadis' eyes narrowed, and then went unfocused for a second. He leaned forward a little more, and Xelloss felt the chimera's spirit reach for his to catch him with a light touch just as he drew away. Zelgadis let go and shook his head, then his eyes focused on Xelloss again with the same hard light.

 

"I don't want to spend the rest of my days worrying about some fanatic with an enchanted arrow or a sword that can cut me in half," Zelgadis said grimly. "But more than that, Xelloss, I never want to see you weak, or hear you scream in pain again."

 

"Zelgadis," Xelloss said quietly.

 

Was Zel talking about Zuller and the threat from the Keeper's spell, or something else? He remembered the strange moment after he'd attacked Zelgadis last night, when he'd caught the painful tang of understanding and acceptance under the chimera's fear of him. Perhaps he did understand....

 

Zelgadis sat back again and examined his sword carefully as he continued.

 

"You were right about my real reasons for coming to Mystport, but now I'm genuinely curious about the ruins in this ancient village," he said conversationally. "Besides that, I'm afraid that with this weather, traveling back across the mountains or up the coast by sea will be impractical for a while. But after I've checked things out here, your quest becomes mine. We're taking your road next time, and I'm going with you all the way back to Shimeria if necessary. If your people haven't found the missing Keepers yet, we will find them. In the meantime.... "

 

While Xelloss watched with growing astonishment, he lifted the sword and ran his palm along the blade, studying at it with narrowed eyes. Xelloss watched it catch the light, but then he realized he saw something else flicker there. A blue filament of power from the astral side flowed from Zel's fingers to follow the shape of the blade. Xelloss' eyes flew wide, startled; pulling power into the physical world like that was not a simple thing for a human. He leaned forward eagerly. Zelgadis' eyebrow twitched, his concentration faltered, and the astral power flickered out.

 

"Yes," Xelloss said as Zelgadis pursed his lips in frustration. "In the meantime, we'll have to step up your training a little, won't we?"

 

Zelgadis nodded with a rueful grin. "I wouldn't need you as a guardian against the Soldiers of Shimer if I could use all of my astral powers, would I?" he said.

 

"And if your search in Wyndcliff leads you to a way to restore your human body?" Xelloss asked as mildly as he could manage.

 

"Heh," Zelgadis laughed briefly. "They're fanatics, Xelloss. Do you think that my being human will stop them from hunting me?"

 

"Then, in that case...?"

 

"I told you, if I found a cure now, I don't know what I'd do with it. Anyway, that's only one aspect of the legendary magic of Skye, you know. Perhaps I'll find something even more useful. Something I can use against the Keepers, for instance."

 

Zelgadis casually laid the sword aside and picked up his cup again.

 

"Well, well," Xelloss said thoughtfully, watching the smile tug at Zelgadis' lips again. "I must admit, this will simplify my life somewhat."

 

"I thought it might," Zelgadis said. He sounded a little smug, just as he had back at the start of this unexpected conversation.

 

The sense of relief that Xelloss felt was surprisingly strong, as if this would do far more than simplify his life. He felt rather more like his life had been saved. Freed from the need to make impossible choices, he felt like he might be able to move again after all.

 

Zelgadis set the cup down and leaned forward again, elbows on his knees and chin on his hands as he peered into Xelloss' face. At the same time, his spirit reached across and hovered near Xelloss' on the astral side. Startled by the sudden move, Xelloss drew back a little on both levels.

 

"Now," Zelgadis said. He let his spirit's touch fall short, but lifted his hand to touch Xelloss' hair. "Now that you don't have to choose between me and your mission, will you please stop pulling away from me when I want you?"

 

"I...." Xelloss faltered. "Have I been doing that? I didn't...."

 

But he had done that, he realized, and for the same reason he'd attacked Zelgadis last night. He was afraid in a way that a Mazoku should never be - afraid of his desire for Zelgadis, and of what it could make him do.

 

But now...

 

He held perfectly still while Zelgadis leaned closer and pressed their lips together.

 

"That's better," Zelgadis breathed against his mouth.

 

"Yes," Xelloss had to agree. "It is."

 

He still didn't move, though, not until Zelgadis pulled him to the side and down, and then they were moving together. That made everything so much simpler, Xelloss thought. After that, for a while, he finally managed to stop thinking entirely.

 

---

 

to be continued...

 

Coming up: No longer at cross-purposes (for the first time ever?), Xelloss and Zelgadis are hardly surprised to find more surprises when they reach Wyndcliff village.