Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Detour ❯ Chapter Twenty Three ( Chapter 23 )

Detour

 

by Rose Thorne

 

Disclaimer: Slayers is owned by a bunch of folks who aren't me. I'm borrowing them for my perverse pleasure, much as Xellos borrows emotions for his.

 

 

Chapter Twenty Three

 

They had spent the entire day digging through the rubble, looking for injured and dead. The job still wasn't done, but Phil-san had insisted that they get rest after Amelia passed out. Those who had been healed from minor injuries were now searching. So were volunteers from the city.

 

Even though he was exhausted, Gourry hadn't been able to relax. He didn't know what was going on, and knew he probably wouldn't get it even if someone explained it to him, but it was making him restless. And with the rumors he'd heard, he wanted to check on Zel.

 

When Gourry entered Zel's suite, he wasn't surprised to see that Xellos was there. The Mazoku had been hanging around a lot lately, especially around Zel. Good thing, too, with everything that had happened. From what Lina had said around her food, he'd been the one to find Zel and take him to Amelia. They didn't know how bad he was, but from what they'd heard… Well, it was good that Xellos had been around.

 

“Yo, Xellos!”

 

“Ah, Gourry-san.” Xellos stood. “I expected Lina-san to come as well.”

 

Gourry shrugged. “She was going to, but she fell asleep. Too much to eat, I think.” That last bit was meant to make Xellos smile, but it didn't work. It was really weird to see him not-smiling. That kind of worried him. “Zel okay?”

 

“Amelia-san healed him, and there appears to be no permanent damage.” Well, at least that wasn't why he looked so… unXellos-y. “He mentioned that he's in pain still.”

 

“Oh.” That was surprising. But if he'd been hurt really badly maybe she hadn't been able to heal him all the way. Gourry wanted to get one of the healers, but like Amelia most of them were exhausted. But at least there was something he could do. “I'll get him some medicine. You're guarding, in case that Mazoku comes back, right?”

 

Xellos looked surprised, then frowned. “I was under the impression that Lina had destroyed it.”

 

“No. We never saw it, but unless Zel got it, it's still out there.” Gourry glanced at the bed. “And I'm kinda figuring he was on the losing side.”

 

Xellos nodded. “That complicates things considerably.”

 

Gourry had no idea what he was talking about, but Xellos never liked to share things anyway and it was really just simpler not to ask. “I'll get that medicine.” He remembered that Sylphiel had once told him that pain made it harder for people to heal, and even though Zel healed pretty quickly he figured better safe than sorry.

 

On his way back from the impromptu hospital that had been set up in the ballroom, Gourry wondered why Xellos had stayed if he hadn't thought Zel was in danger. He was definitely glad he had, but it was kind of strange. He knew that Lina didn't trust Xellos, but Gourry figured that it didn't really matter. He was so strong that they wouldn't have time to do anything if he really wanted to hurt them. Besides, things had been awfully weird lately, and at least Xellos seemed to be on their side.

 

He almost asked when he got back into the room, but decided against it. Xellos probably wouldn't give him a straight answer even if it wasn't a secret, and he was too tired for the Mazoku's strange riddles now. The restlessness had left now that he was satisfied that Zel was mostly okay, and his exhaustion was catching up with him.

 

--

 

Zelgadis woke to someone shaking him. The shaking itself didn't wake Zelgadis, but the pain it caused did. He opened his eyes and slowly focused to see Gourry frowning at him. The blond looked exhausted, and more serious than he usually did outside of a fight. Gourry had probably spent the day digging survivors from the ruins of the Armory. If his level of pain was any indication, the explosion had been huge. Which probably meant that his idiocy had killed people. The thought made him feel sick, cutting through the numbness that had seeped into him somehow.

 

He must have said Gourry's name, because the swordsman nodded. “Yeah, it's me. I brought medicine. Xellos said you're still hurting.”

 

“Yeah,” he managed. He vaguely remembered mentioning the pain, but he hadn't expected the Mazoku to do something about it. He was somewhat surprised that Xellos had, well… cared. “Painkillers?”

 

Gourry held up a vial of lime-green liquid. “Yup. They said it should help until tomorrow.”

 

Zelgadis tried to sit, but barely propped himself up. His right arm still hurt too much to move. What little movement he'd made caused enough pain to momentarily white out his vision. Gourry seemed to realize he was having trouble, and uncorked the vial and held it to his lips. It was so disgusting he could barely swallow it.

 

“It's bitter. Sorry.” The blond helped him drink some water. “By tomorrow the Armory should be cleared out, and they'll have someone who can finish healing you.”

 

The Armory he'd destroyed. “Did anyone die?” Gourry looked like he didn't want to answer, and that told Zelgadis all he needed to know. He'd known anyway. He had failed to pay attention to his surroundings, one of the most basic rules of battle, and other people had paid for it. That was always the way it worked. The person who should have been killed always survived. “How many?”

 

Gourry shook his head. “I don't know, Zel. But it wasn't your fault.”

 

Zelgadis looked away. He didn't know how to feel aside from sick. Everything had gone so terribly wrong lately. Hell, everything had gone wrong his entire life, from the death of his parents to losing his humanity, but the past month had been particularly awful. Whatever entity was toying with him needed to just kill him and get it over with. “I cast the spell. I set off the gunpowder. It's my fault.”

 

“You didn't know it was there,” Gourry reasoned. “I've spent a while in there and I didn't know either.”

 

But Gourry was an idiot who didn't notice obvious things, so that was no consolation. “I should have used a different spell.” He didn't want rationalization; it didn't change what he had done. Innocent people had died because of him.

 

“But Zel—”

 

“Gourry-san, perhaps you should let him rest. You seem quite exhausted yourself.” Xellos' voice startled the chimera; he hadn't realized the Mazoku was still there. “It has been quite a difficult day. I'm sure things will be clearer in the morning.”

 

Xellos, of all people, trying to be the voice of reason was too much for Zelgadis. “Just go away. Both of you.”

 

He pulled the blankets over his head, willing the darkness to seep into him. The medicine kicked in and he let it tug at his consciousness, ignoring the murmuring from Xellos and Gourry, until he fell back to sleep.

 

--

 

Gourry had been reluctant to leave, until Xellos pointed out that the painkillers would probably knock Zelgadis out until morning. The Mazoku understood his concern. Zelgadis' emotions were normally so complex that they were a treat to decipher—on occasion a real challenge. Tonight it had been simple despair and self-loathing, and that kind of simplicity was becoming more common. It was as though his emotional capacity had been worn down, and with what had been happening, it wasn't particularly surprising.

 

Most mortals, faced with situations that Zelgadis had faced, would have given up long ago, but the chimera was tenacious. He was much like Lina in that respect, refusing to resign to any fate that he didn't create for himself. But every mortal had a limit, and it seemed that Zelgadis had reached his.

 

And really, Xellos knew that he was partly to blame. Zelgadis had plodded on through everything, ignoring his limits, fixated on his cure and the prospect of a normal life. With that goal no longer a possibility, there was nothing to help him surpass his limits.

 

It would have been fascinating to witness were it not Zelgadis.

 

After Gourry left, Xellos checked on the chimera to find that he had curled around himself under the blankets. He looked so vulnerable that the Mazoku had a momentary, alien desire to lie beside him and hold him, comfort him. Xellos stepped back, disturbed by how very human the urge was.

 

It was only when Zelgadis began murmuring unintelligibly, moving restlessly in his sleep, that Xellos was able to move again. The nightmares were wholly unexpected in a mind that was generally rather rational, and Xellos didn't have enough experience to know what to do to ease them. Waking Zelgadis had simply made things worse before. Still, there had to be something he could do.

 

When he sat beside Zelgadis on the bed, the chimera's sleep settled slightly before he curled closer to Xellos, apparently comforted slightly by the presence of a warm body. But his brow was still creased, his breathing panicked even in his sleep, moving in short jerks as though trying to get away from something. The Mazoku reached out and ran his thumb against Zelgadis' forehead, gratified when it smoothed, and the youth's breathing and movements slowly calmed.

 

Zelgadis finally settled with a sigh, and murmured again. “'Kaasan…”

 

That was the last thing Xellos would have expected from the chimera, but it was clear that the subconscious desire to return to happier times, to childhood, was far more comforting than the nightmare. His mother was a comfort to him, however cruel it was to be comforted by a ghost.

 

Xellos wasn't willing to deny him that small comfort.

 

 

Sorry it's been so long. Life is crazy. I don't know how long it's going to take to get the next part out. Depends on my schedule.

 

Fawx gave me suggestions on a partial draft of this a couple weeks ago, but I had to set it aside because I was so busy. Chrissy and Chrislea beta read, as per usual.