Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ DG's Twisted Lil' Dark Lord Fic ❯ Gaav and the Twisted Meaning of life ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I do believe I said in the last chapter that I did not own The Slayers.

Some Notes from DG: Hi I'm back! Thankies to all of the wonderful people who reviewed last chapter. I was planning on making this a just a one shot ficcie, but so many of you asked for another chapter I just had to make my kind reviewers happy! But before I start out I'd like to explain something about how I'm going to continue this. Instead of making it one large ongoing epic with a strong plot and all of the other necessary things, rather it is going to be a series of short stories that are all connected to each other. Why? That's because it's more in tune to my writing style. Trust me I've tried and it's just very hard for me to keep up on writing a plot and story line that is more then a couple of chapters long. I end up losing interest in writing long plots very quickly. I do much better with short stories.

Phew, well that rant is done. Thanks for being so patient with me. Now I'll get to the part I'm sure you've all been waiting for!

Gaav and the Meaning of Life

"GONG!"

Dynast groaned and opened one sleepy eye. Someone was err... gonging the door gong. Speaking of which he had just put back up that afternoon after going through extensive therapy after the... Zelas... incident.

"GONG!"

And now someone was gonging it. In the middle of the night no less.

"GONG!"

Dynast squeezed his eyes shut and pulled his blanket over his head. Maybe if he ignored it, it would just give up and go away.

"GONG!"

Unfortunately whatever it was didn't give up that easily.

"GONG!"

Dynast growled and rolled out of bed. He was wearing flannel pajamas with a cute little penguin print on them (ready? One... two... three... awwwww...).

"This had better be real important or else someone's gonna find themselves as a permanent part or my ice sculpture collection," Dynast mumbled to no one in particular.

"GONG!"

"I'm comin'. I'm comin'."

Dynast made his way to the front door with relatively few mishaps. Only tripping a couple of times in the near dark of his palace. He remembered a bit belatedly that he could have just phased himself there instead. He shrugged then threw open the door.

"GONG!"

Dynast winced. Being right next to the gong when it was being gonged was not a good thing.

"Eh? Oh sorry there Dynast. Guess I was having just a little to much fun with your gong there," the newcomer said a bit sheepishly.

The newcomer turned out to be Gaav. Like Dynast he too looked like he had just gotten out bed, his attire being composed of red heart boxers and a white tank top, and he was holding a small golden box. But unlike Dynast who was sleepy, disgruntled and getting increasingly more irritated by the minute, Gaav was happy, hyper, and energetic.

"Gaav," Dynast growled, "Just what gives you the idea that you can just come over to my place at any hour you please and still be welcomed?"

"Well Dy boy, you see I couldn't sleep tonight. I just kept tossing and turning. So I decided to go down and get myself a snack. And then it hit me!"

"What a rock?" Dynast grumbled a bit too sarcastically.

Gaav didn't seem to hear him, but went on instead, "The Meaning of Life! It was so simple I couldn't believe that I never saw it before! All those years it was right in font of my nose and I didn't even see it!"

At this point the way Gaav was standing could only be described as one of Amelia's justice poses. Of course when she did them it looked funny or cute, when Gaav did one of them, well... it just looked plain Odd. Notice odd is spelled with a capital O.

"You haven't been smoking anything funny have you?" Dynast interrupted Gaav.

Gaav blinked, "Smoking? Of course I've been smoking! I'm the Demon Dragon King! I also breath fire, slice junk up with my giant claws, and can tear things up with me big sharp teeth," he said all of this very matter of fact.

"Well I don't think that's exactly what I meant but..." Dynast paused. He was talking to thin air. Gaav had already walked past him and into the palace.

Sorrowfully Dynast closed the door, "Just what is it that makes people think my house is a hotel or something?"

~*~*~*~*~

One hour and seventeen minutes later in the kitchen...

Dynast couldn't help it. He banged his head on the table in frustration. Gaav had been talking for over an hour about The Meaning of Life, but he hadn't yet told him what it was exactly. He had just been going on about all of it's perfection and majestic glory.

"Well what is it?" Dynast finally gave up and asked.

"What is what?" Gaav gave his best Gourry impression.

"The Meaning of Life!"

"Oh! What about it?

"What is it?"

"What?"

Dynast pulled his hair and tried one more time, "What. Exactly. Is. The. Meaning. Of. Life?"

"Oh that!" Gaav grinned, "I can't tell you that!"

Behold! Dynast's head once more meets with the table!

~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile outside the palace...

A petite figure wearing a lime green scuba suit was quietly picking the lock of one of the palaces many ground floor windows. She then began to talk to someone who was obviously not there.

"So Mr. Happy Starfish you want Gaav chan's pretty shiny box, right?"

She paused for a moment.

"Oh you like my robber outfit? Why thank you Mr. Happy Starfish. You're so nice."

She picked at the window's lock for a few more moments before she heard a soft click.

"Success! Come Mr. Happy Starfish! Soon Gaav chan's pretty shiny box will be ours!"

With a cackle the insane robber person opened the window and then hopped through it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Back in the kitchen...

"Oh don't worry Dy boy! I just have to make sure you're worthy first to tell you the meaning of life." Gaav patted Dynast on the back.

Dynast glared at Gaav who quickly pulled back his hand. Neither of them noticed the small sneaky figure in a lime green scuba suit enter creep into the room. (Don't ask me how they missed it, I personally don't really know myself.)

The golden box was sitting quietly on the table right next to Gaav. Well that was until above said scuba sneak stealthily slipped it off and began to slink away. (Try saying THAT five times fast!) Only seconds later when Gaav was about to give his box its periodic pat did he notice it wasn't next to him, but was being carried off by a thief! As soon as she saw she had been detected, the scuba sneak bolted.

"Ah! Get her! That thief is going to get away with The Meaning of Life!" and with that said Gaav ran off after her. Dynast quickly followed (hey if he was gonna get woken up in the middle of the night, his peace and quiet turned to chaos, and his privacy disturbed then he was at least going to find out what was in that box dammit!)

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sherra's room...

Sherra yawned and decided to risk looking out her door. There were so many strange and unusual noises in the palace tonight, and that wasn't even counting Norst's horrendously loud snoring. First the door gong had gone off about a half dozen times, then Gaav's distinctive loud voice strangely hyper, then another voice which sounded strangely like Deep Sea Dolphin talking to someone named Mr. Happy Starfish. And now it sounded like there was a chase going on.

So warily she opened her door and peeked out. First to shoot by her was a blue haired girl wearing a lime green scuba suit (Dolphin in case some of you still haven't got it!), followed by Gaav in his boxers and tank top (which Sherra was able to snap a quick picture of even in her tired state to use as blackmail material later on) and finally bringing up the rear was her own Lord Dynast (she was happy to note that he was wearing the penguin pajamas she had gotten him for his last birthday.

"Hmm... I'd better follow them. Lord Dynast might need my help!" Sherra said before throwing a robe over her blue nightie and taking off down the same hallway everyone else had.

She didn't even notice that she had left her door open, or that a black clad figure slipped into her room after she left.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In Norst's room...

Lucky Norst was blissfully unaware of everything else that was going on in the palace and he continued to slumber on. Guess he's a pretty heavy sleeper huh?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The main hall...

"We've got you now!" Gaav bellowed.

Indeed now Dolphin, a.k.a. the scuba sneak, was cornered by Dynast, Sherra and Gaav. It didn't look like there was much hope for her situation.

"Oh no Mr. Happy Starfish what are we gonna do?" Dolphin wailed, she paused a moment before speaking again,

"Oh wonderful idea Mr. Happy Starfish! Let's use the Magic Happy Bubble Wand to get away!"

Everyone sweat dropped.

"Magic Happy Bubble Wand?" Gaav queried.

Dynast shrugged.

Sherra looked confused.

But then the answer came. Out of hammer space Dolphin pulled The Magic Happy Bubble Wand. Triumphantly she held it above her head, lightning clashed behind her for effect. Dynast wanted to know where the lightning came from.

The Magic Happy Bubble Wand was about a foot long bright pink and had a multicolored ball on the top of it that could only be described as a Magic Happy Bubble.

Dolphin then cackled madly and pointed the dread wand at Dynast.

"Magic Happy Bubble Blaster!" she yelled and a large Magic Happy Bubble exploded from the one on the top of her wand and headed right towards Dynast.

Sherra saw it coming, with a shout she leapt into the pathway of the Magic Happy Bubble and let it hit her instead of her Lord Dynast. There was a bright flash of light a puff of sparkly pink smoke. Sherra blinked. She hadn't felt anything unusual or painful. Then she looked down at herself.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

Instead of the blue nightie and robe she had been wearing before, she now had on a dress. A big poofy pink dress with lots of ribbons and lace and frilly stuff.

Dolphin cackled, "Now me and Mr. Happy Starfish will take Gaav-chan's pretty shiny box with us back to the Demon Ocean! But first..." Dolphin advanced on her two remaining opponents.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Ten minutes later...

Dolphin had managed to escape with the meaning of life and `Mr. Happy Starfish'. But not before she had completely transformed Dynast's main hall. Instead of the huge echoing cavern like room of rock and ice it had been it was now pink and sparkly and had pictures of rainbows ponies and bunnies on it.

It should also be noted that Dynast was now wearing a bunny suit and Gaav had on a poofy yellow dress that looked similar to Sherra's.

"Hey Dy boy? Does this dress make my butt look big?"

Dynast glared at him. Gaav was the reason why his precious hall was in this state. He was the reason why he was now wearing a bunny suit. If he had never come here with his stupid meaning life thing Dolphin would have never followed him. And now he would never even get to fin out what exactly the meaning of life was! It was all that stupid idiotic no brained ox of a dragon's fault!

"Get out," he said in a deadly whisper (Just picture someone on a bunny suit talking like this. It's a pretty funny image!)

"Why?" Gaav asked as sweetly and innocently as he could.

"Get out now..." Dynast repeated.

"But-"

"GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

"Okay okay already I'm leaving. Sheesh what did I ever do to you?" Gaav grumbled and headed out the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Outside...

"Boy ol' Dy boy can sure be grumpy sometimes. Valgaav, Report!"

Out from around a corner the black garbed being from before appeared.

"I saw Deep Sea Dolphin escape with your golden box my lord. I tried to get it back but she threatened me with something called The Magic Happy Bubble Wand. Unfortunately I was unable to retrieve the Meaning of Life," Val reported.

"Oh don't worry about that," Gaav said without concern, "That was just a piece of leftover pie from dinner."

"The Meaning of Life is pie?"

"No no. That was just a distraction for you to get in there, even Dolphin was a part of the plan though she didn't know it. See? I am a whole lot smarter then most people give me credit for! So did you retrieve what I asked you to get?"

"Yes Lord Gaav," Val handed him the Dynast plushie he had gotten from Sherra's room.

"Wonderful!" Gaav smiled and clapped his hands, "Now my collection of Slayers plushies is complete. That my friend is The TRUE Meaning of Life."

Val resisted the urge to sweat drop.

"Come Val! To the Batcave- I mean secret hideout!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

In Dynast's Palace in a random hallway the next morning...

Norst yawned, "I wonder where everyone is," he thought. Then he reached the main hall. He stared eyes wide, and jaw down near his knees at the condition it was in.

"Oh man you people didn't through another party and let me sleep through it did you?!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Some More Notes from DG: So how was that? I don't think it was quite as good as my last chapter but oh well. Poor Norst seems to not be getting much action does he? Though some might call him lucky I guess. ^_^

Anyway as a special announcement sometime within the next chapter or so I will be introducing the Dragon Kings into my ficcie! If anyone knows anything about them or a site that has something about them could you please tell me in a review or email me? And arigato to Digi-riven who has already given some info to me.

Well remember to leave a review please! It helps the updates you know! ^.^

Hmm... now I wonder where that muse of mine has gone off to? *wanders off humming*