Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Heart of a Demon ❯ Chapter 1

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Heart of a Demon
By: Silver Star


There was once a time when I hated you as much as you
hated me. But that was a long time ago, before...before I fell
in love with you.

Ironic isn't it? Me, a Mazoku, The Greater Beast's
General AND Priest in fact, falling in love. With a Ryuuzoku
no less. Heh. Now I realized just how ironic the world can be.

I had killed so many of your kind, and I had enjoyed it
thoroughly. Your kind, they were so beautiful, all gold and
shimmering against the dying light of the sun. I remember
staring at them with awe, and feeling glee and excitement as
those beautiful creatures died by my hands. So easily. They
all had died so easily. I had felt _power_ at the moment when I
killed them. A feeling of invincibility. And I still remember
thinking that if I can kill creatures this beautiful this easily,
then I must be powerful.

Now I regret what I had done. After all, if I hadn't done
that, then you might not hate me as much.

I sometimes wondered what would be different if I
_hadn't_ slaughtered all those Golden Dragons. Would you
treat me differently? Will you smile at me? Will you talk to me
without 'Namagomi' in every sentence? Will you actually be
worried about me if I'm not there everyday?

But then again, I would still be a Mazoku and you would
still be a Ryuuzoku; nothing will really change will it?

They say that Demons are incapable of loving. I had
actually believed that for a long time. That is, until the day I
met you. At first, it was the thrill of getting you angry. It was
fun watching you getting all worked up, and your anger was
delicious to say the least. And I was also curious. I wanted to
know how the Golden Dragons think. I want to understand
you, delve into your mind and see what I can find in there. It
was a thrill that I found quite entertaining.

For some odd reason, I began to trust you. In fact, I
realized that I considered Lina and her friends to be my
comrades. I was shocked when I realized that, but truth be
told, it wasn't such a bad feeling.

I told myself that being comrades were enough, that I
couldn't afford to become too attached to anyone in particular.
But I was curious. Curiosity kills the cat, people say, and
unfortunately, they were right.

I watched you, observed you; studied you like you're a
bug under a microscope. I provoked you and memorized your
reactions. I was fascinated by the way you reacted to my
teasing. I wanted to know how you think. I had actually
believed that if I do finally understand your actions, then in
the final Dragon Demon War, I would have the advantage of
knowing the way Dragon's minds work. I was so stupid then.
I wouldn't say I was naive because I wasn't. I was stupid.
Plain and simple. Heh, I'll bet you'll be very happy to hear
that.

I still remember the moment when I realized that I love
you. It was so unexpected, so abrupt, so REAL, that I nearly
fell off my chair.

We were in an Inn at that time. You were sitting in front
of the fire, and I remember staring at your profile, thinking
how the warm glow really enhanced your looks. I wasn't really
in reality at that moment, too busy wondering why I thought
you were pretty and staring at you. Someone said something
to my right, and I saw you looking at that direction.

And then you smiled.

I had been so overwhelmed by my realization that I had
actually called out your name. Your smile immediately
disappeared, and I knew then, that you would never, ever love
me. Never. I wanted to tell you so much that it hurts, but I
can't and I knew that no matter how much it hurts, I can
never tell you.

I'll continue to protect you, Filia, and I promise you I will
never ruin your life with the knowledge of my feelings.