Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Just When I Found You ❯ Nothing Ever Changes ( Chapter 2 )

Just When I Found You

Nothing Ever Changes

She didn't know why she was here, here encouraging him to continue with his shady career. Or was it his hobby? A slight shifting of weight to her right drew her attention.

"Amelia?"

Turning her head she caught his stare and held it. He raised his dark brows at her, daring her to do something, to do what she wasn't sure.

So different from her but she loved him all the same. Oh yes, that's why she was here. Laughter threatened to burst forth from her lips. At her smile he turned away from her once again to scan the room. She followed his roving eyes from each figure. Before she had time to process what her brain was taking in she felt her mouth shaping words.

"Mister Zelgadiss? Is that you?"

The figure in question stood rooted to the spot and as if in a dream or a trance she stumbled forward, Orion following her, puzzlement and wariness clear from the set of his shoulders. As she pressed closer she found herself straining to peer beneath the hood of his cloak into his shadowed face. Pebbled skin confirmed her suspicions.

"It is you! Mister Zelgadiss it's me, Amelia."

She almost felt like flinching as he stared unchangingly at her. She remembered this feeling. She also remembered this mask of nothingness that he wore. She didn't need to remember to hate it.

"Aren't you gong to say hello?"

At her forced but teasing words he seemed to come back to earth.

"Yes. I, this is just a bit of a shock."

'If that wasn't the understatement of the year,' she thought with a giggle, but only said, "It has been awhile."

She barely heard his muttered, "Yes."

A silence filled her ears to the point of pain. She felt herself floundering until a callused hand discreetly touched her own soft palm.

"Oh. How rude of me! Mister Zelgadiss this is my son Orion. And Orion this is one of my old traveling companions, Mister Zelgadiss."

Surprisingly enough her son politely reached out to grasp Zelgadiss' hand; it was Zelgadiss who rudely ignored Orion's gesture. She sensed Orion's body tensing, the brash anger gathering. She also sensed the potential disaster ready to strike. She had to divert everyone's attention and that included her own.

"It's such a coincidence to see you here Mister Zelgadiss. It's been years since I've last been to the outer world, not since...."

What was she saying! Her babbling had once again caused her embarrassment. She could tell by Zelgadiss' eyes that he understood. Her son however was leaning forward on one foot eagerly awaiting her revelation. For sixteen years she had managed to reveal little to practically nothing about her past and here she had almost gone and given him the spy scope.

"I, that is, well it's Orion's first time in the outer world ever. Do you remember when we first...."

She screamed at herself to stop, stop talking and stop thinking. Her mind was too full.

"Go on Amelia. What were you saying."

He was challenging her. No, not Zelgadiss, it was her son who had spoken. She knew he resented her lack of divulgence. He felt like she didn't trust him. How naive he still was. Sometimes she forgot he was just a young sixteen. Not only did he look older he also acted older, more confident then most teenagers.

"Orion, don't bring this up now."

"Think of my position Amelia. This is the one time I should bring it up. You can't hide from me now. Your long lost playmate is here, physical evidence of the past. He may have some clues."

Throughout the slight exchange of words Zelgadiss watched the mother and son closely, his attention now fully drawn by their presence and not lost in another time and place. He was obviously surprised, maybe even shocked by Orion's lack of respect, although Amelia seemed unmoved.

"Please stop! You don't understand."

"Damn right I don't."

A throat cleared tactfully. "Excuse me but I don't follow either for that matter."

Amelia pulled back in pain at Zelgadiss' interruption. She was so embarrassed by herself and Orion and by Zelgadiss. She couldn't recall why she was here again.

**

He felt like an intruder, like one of those sickos that flock to the nearest disaster as a source of entertainment. He couldn't walk away like he wasn't involved either. In fact, he got the distinct feeling that he was a major cause of the confrontation. He was positive at the mention of the 'long lost playmate.'

Amelia pulled back at his interruption as if she was physically stung. Another silence encased the trio. Orion, that godforsaken son of Amelia's, stared at her with a look of nonchalance. If Zel judged him by his expression he would have said that the boy was completely oblivious to the hurt in Amelia's eyes. The same hurt she had worn the day of their parting.

**

Light had fallen in through the crack of the curtains to lay like a wall between their sleeping figures. Through the thinnest of slits Zel peered across the bed at the face resting next to him. For a moment he simply gazed at her, his head surprisingly empty of any thoughts. He could feel a little puff of air on his cheek every time she exhaled, and each time he inhaled he caught a whiff of lavender. For once in his life he was living and taking in the moment, for all that he was only lying in bed. He wasn't longing for tomorrow, wasn't wishing for any changes in yesterday, and he wasn't rushing to find the day. He was just enjoying being alive.

A feeling was forming in him, a feeling he was racing to catch. Almost he understood what the stillness in time was, but right as he was reaching up to grasp it Amelia's eyelids fluttered open. She blinked a couple of times as if she didn't quite know if she was dreaming or not. After a moment she stilled and then her eyes widened. A smile slowly spread itself across her face, mirroring the rising sun. And as her smile deepened a kind of horror filled him, and one thought filled his head, 'What have I done?'

As slowly as her smile had come it melted away again as she stared into his panicked face. He watched in a frozen state as she closed her eyes tightly and then carefully slid out from under the sheets. With a great amount of dignity and grace he had never realized she possessed Amelia stood up and walked unashamedly to his travel bag. She yanked open the top drawer and pulled out his spare shirt. She ignored his presence and eyes as she calmly tugged the garment over her head. She turned back toward him, the shirt falling to the tops of her thighs.

He felt himself sit up but had no conscious thought of wishing to. When he did and said no more she bent down and started retrieving her few possessions that had been thrown off and about the night before. She threw her nightgown over one shoulder and slid one bracelet over her left wrist. Still he sat unmoving on the bed.

As she was picking up her other bracelet she paused and suddenly her words, as if they couldn't be contained any longer burst forth, "Did none of it mean anything to you? Do I mean anything to you?" The questions were barely above a whisper.

He felt himself replying before he knew what he was going to say, "This was all a mistake. I can't afford to care about you." The words ripped through him and rushed to fill the space between them and he knew there was no calling them back.

She trembled as if a cold wind had passed over her and bit her lower lip. Her arms went slack and he followed the fall of her bracelet to the hard wooden floor. "Because of your curse?" she asked, her voice shaking slightly.

He nodded stupidly.

"But it will change nothing. Nothing," she practically shouted the last word at him. He cringed at the force of her tone. "You'll always be dissatisfied. Being human again won't change anything but your skin. Stone or flesh you'll still be a self-absorbed, self-pitying, lonely man." She flung each insult at him with an uncanny accuracy. The words seemed to suck out the last of her strength and she stumbled backwards. The anger filling her face drained away and left behind a look of indescribable pain.

He started to rise, the sheet clutched around his vulnerable body. Before he could do more she whirled around, pulled the door open and ran from the room, the door closing abruptly behind her. For minutes he simply stood there, waiting for something more to happen. At last he dropped the sheet and groped around the floor for his clothes. Instead his hand encountered the dropped and forgotten bracelet.

**

"So what are you doing here Mister Zelgadiss?"

He mentally shook his head to clear away his unwanted memories. "Um, oh. I'm kind of just wandering. I've lost all leads on my cure, so, yeah."

He watched Amelia's eyes clear, devoid of pain once again, before she opened her mouth and laughed. At the sound he started and Orion did a double take. Neither of them had heard Amelia laugh so heartily before. Her laughter wasn't quite gone as she gasped out, "Nothings changed with you, has it? Still the same Zelgadiss that I used to know."

Zel didn't know whether to be insulted or not. She was smiling and she did looked pleased, but what exactly did she mean by saying that nothing had changed for him? " I guess. But what are you two doing here?" he asked, mainly to turn the conversation away from him.

Amelia looked hesitantly at Orion before she answered. "Orion's visiting some friends here, and I deciding to accompany him."

"Speaking of which I see them now. Don't think this means I'm done with you Amelia. We'll talk later about this." Orion turned to him at that point and sort of sneered, "If you'll excuse me Zelgadiss." With that Amelia's son turned heel and proceeded to the other end of the bar leaving himself and Amelia painfully alone.

**

Amelia's head screamed at her to make her excuses and leave Zelgadiss' company as well but her body refused to listen. Instead, she found herself rooted to the spot waiting breathlessly to see what he would do or say next.

He shifted from one foot to the other in a strange little dance and she continued to watch silently. The old her probably would have tried to break the awkwardness in an attempt to be merciful, but right now she felt no inclination to do so.

"How long has it been? I didn't remember it being so long that you'd have a son already grown."

His words were strung together, so it took a minute to make sense of them. She didn't see how he could think it hadn't been very long. Personally she had counted every minute since their departure and the events that had followed.

"It's been more than seventeen years Mister Zelgadiss, and Orion is still a child really for all that he's sixteen."

"Sixteen?" he echoed and she tensed for the question she knew was inevitable.

"Amelia, he's not.... Am I Orion's father?"

Even though she knew he'd probably react this way to such news, his expression of dread and fear still cut her to the bone. She couldn't repress the wetness that came to her eyes or the shudder that racked her body as she prepared her answer.

**

She had hidden herself until Zelgadiss' departure, and had brushed off Lina's questions about her absence with a story about looking for her lost bracelet. It was now three weeks later and Amelia was miserable. She hadn't realized a broken heart would make so her physically ill. For the past week she'd barely been able to keep anything down. Simply looking at food could make her stomach heave. She'd tried to keep it from the gang, because she didn't want them to worry, but it looked as if she hadn't been as secretive as she'd thought. At that minute Lina was ranting at her.

"...you eat? Throwing up to loose weight isn't just dumb, it's bad for you!"

Lina's words took her by surprise. "Miss Lina, I'm not doing this on purpose."

Lina stopped in mid rant. "Then why? If your sick or something why haven't you used a healing spell on yourself? Is it that time of the month as well?"

Amelia shook her head mournfully. "I have tried spells. They don't do anything. And no, it isn't that time of the month."

Real concern shown in Lina's voice, "How long has this been going on?"

"A week."

"A week! Amelia, you should have told us!"

"I didn't want you to worry."

"Didn't want us to worry? That's what friends are for Amelia. Were going right back inside and telling the guys and then we are heading for the nearest shrine."

If it was really only heartbreak like she thought she didn't want the Gourry and Xellos to know, especially Xellos. It'd be weird and they might make fun of her. Lina might too, but she already knew. And besides, Lina was a girl. "Please don't say anything to the others Miss Lina. Let's not worry them. It might be nothing."

"This is against my better judgment but if it will get you to cooperate and see a healer then okay."

"Thanks Miss Lina."

The following day found her and Lina at the local healers.

"You say this all began a week ago Amelia?"

She nodded expectantly. "Yes."

"So what's wrong with her?" Lina asked impatiently, but Amelia heard the worry in her voice. She herself was anxious as well.

"Nothing is wrong with her. Amelia's condition is quite normal considering."

"Normal?" Lina demanded.

"Yes normal. Amelia's expecting."

"Expecting what" they both chorused.

"A baby. Congratulations Amelia, you're pregnant."

Lina froze but she flinched. "Pregnant," she whispered to the air.

The healer went on oblivious to the shock. "The nausea should end in a month or so, and that's when you'll start showing. By the sixth and seventh month your milk will come in. And in the ninth month the baby will lighten, or move lower, and this means he or she will soon be ready for delivery. Of course that is only the basics, you'll want to consult a midwife about the rest. I'll leave you two to talk now, and there's no charge."

The healer was gone in a swish of her robes. Lina seemed to awaken at last and she stared at Amelia.

Amelia had sunk to floor and had her knees up with her arms locked around herself. "Amelia. Are...are you okay?" Amelia remained immobile.

"Amelia?" Lina crouched down next to the princess and hesitantly touched her arm.

A spell was broken and Amelia felt tears drown her face. "It's all wrong Lina. This isn't how it's supposed to happen."

"Amelia I..."

"He was supposed to wake up and realize his life was meaningless until me. He was supposed to forget his cure and marry me. Not this."

"You're talking about Zel? He's the father? Oh Amelia!"

"Yes, Mister Zelgadiss is this baby's daddy."

**

She answered as emotionlessly as she could, "No Mister Zelgadiss. Orion's not yours. Don't worry."

**