Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Prince Charming ❯ Chapter 7

 

 

Songs: (You guys know the drill) is Stealers Wheel's `Stuck in the middle with you.' and `Stroke 9's `Kiss Some Ass.'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Those birds didn't know what hit 'em. Naga took little satisfaction in that thought. She'd been flying around for at least an hour or so. Not sign of Phil, the mayor guy (His name was Claw Swill, though no one seemed to care) and that assassin. Suddenly, both a bird and a thought hit her in the head. As she slapped the cawing black bird away (rats with wings, in Naga's opinion), she realized that she knew nothing about this assassin. In fact, this killer could be a woman! Naga swatted the bird away as flame surrounded her. A woman. A woman with her Phil. The sorceress saw red.

 

Slowly, she managed to regain something resembling calmness. Naga straightened her fingers, took a few deep breathes. Alright, Phil wasn't technically hers. But, he liked her! That had to account for something. And she'd seen the prince first. Even if he was a lying scum bag…

 

And, yes, she didn't know that the assassin was a woman.

 

All she knew at this point was that her new friend was going to pay. Gold and blood would fly. She'd have his head on a platter. His arms would be force fed to him and his lying hide would be skinned and thrown into a vat of acid. Phil would regret ever meeting her, regret ever being born.

 

Then she'd make him suffer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The prince looked around the rocky, grassless mountains. Everything was grey, drab and looked lifeless. Yes, monsters definitely lived here.

 

Hallos breathed the cold air deeply, relieved and quite happy. Finally, he could do his job. And with a large smile on his face no less. The image of Phil's broken (and quiet, so very nice and quiet) empty face allowed Hallos to grin cheerfully and gave him energy to continue surviving.

 

 

First, he's lure the royal, endlessly talking brat into the cave, then the mayor. Soon after, he'd bring the whole mountain down. After a short victory dance, Hallos would take a long drought from his nearly empty flask and search for the prince's body. He needed the head to get his pay.

 

 

 

The mayor (Claw Swill) looked nervously at the large cavern they were to enter. He bet it was full of bats, many bats. And snakes. And even more horrible things. He pulled out his own flask and took a look drink.

 

 

Phil grinned and radiated cheerfulness. It had taken then all of the morning, but they'd finally reached their destination. Now justice could be dealt, children saved and then wonderful sorceresses to see and follow around like a puppy.

 

 

 

But, first things first. The burly man turned to the trembling mayor and looked at him concerned.

 

 

“Are you alright sir?”

 

“Yes,” He laughed shakily. “I've just never been this frightened before.”

 

Behind them, Hallos began to cackle manically. The two other gentlemen turned to look at him. The red-haired man cleared his throat and tried to regain his dignity.

 

“I'm just…very happy.”

 

Sweat dropping, the mayor and Phil nodded and said `Sure' at the same time before turning back to the cave to discuss tactics. Hallos grinned devilishly. Oh, mayor Claw Swill, you haven't seen frightened just yet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Elsewhere, a cursing, leather-garbed woman stumbled her way through a group of stubbly (and thorny) bushes. Thorny bushes were her curse it seemed. Her cape was full of holes despite the protection spells woven into the heavy fabric and her high-heeled boots did nothing to help her balance. Oh, how she hated forests.

 

 

Birds had attacked her repeatedly, then she'd run into a group of man-eating spiders. After escaping their webs with a few handy fireballs, Naga had run into a bear. Then a bear trap. Thankfully, her healing spells were still as good as ever. In fact, she was quite good at White Magic. Her mother had wanted her to become a cleric at a temple (perhaps in Saillune) but Naga had always wanted to explore.

 

 

Anyway, Naga was good at her White Magic.

 

 

Damn bushes, she angrily shoved them aside and avoided an extremely large growth of poison oak. Her gloves were worse for wear and she decided that Phil would pay for those too. Maybe she's turn his acid-burned hide into a nice pair of fashionable gloves.

 

 

They'd be both stylish and good for everyday uses. People would compliment her on them, and when asked, she'd laugh tell them she had gotten them from the Saillune Royal-A thick patch of poison ivy Naga had missed caused her to fall…straight into the huge patch of poison oak she'd been trying to avoid.

 

 

 

Laying there, feeling itchy already, Naga wished she could ring her prince's neck. Prince on a white horse, indeed. Oh, how she'd make him suffer.

 

 

The shapely woman would slap him around a bit, kick his ribs in. If he was good, Phil could help her rub some ointment onto her itchy back and stomach, Then she'd beat him within an inch of his life. After that, they could get a drink together or something.

 

 

Naga smiled, feeling that increasingly familiar warmth in her chest.

 

 

And we wouldn't go Dutch either. He'd damn well better pay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While Naga plotted her date with Phil (plotted is truly what it was), Hallos plotted something much more sinister than a date. Phil and the mayor took a few steps further into the cave, eyeing the narrow cavern and the low ceiling. It was indeed as bad as the mayor feared. Bats covered the walls and hung upside down from the ceiling as rats and snakes slithered under their feet.

 

 

 

The air was damp and smelled of rotting meat and wild animals. Every step they took causing the rock beneath to crumbling and puffs of dust rose. There were of course no monsters. The children had been sold to another kingdom far away. The trap, set up by the man Hallos had been hired by, had been easily pulled off. All the killer had to do was release a few spells and the whole place would come down. Easy as pie.

 

 

Hallos began the incantation for a Gaav Flare.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Naga stared at the small figure in the distance before rubbing her eyes, sure it was a mirage. She took a few steps toward the large, white horse tethered to a tall rock. The aloof, usually sarcastic sorceress wiped the tears of joy streaming down her face and began to climb down from the tree.

 

 

Her thighs hurt from shimmying up several trees to scan the green forest and she was tired. Tired and dirty and pissed. Her palms were covered with sticky tree sap and she swore again that she'd make Phil pay for all the damage done to her. He would buy her lots of new, shiny accessories, then dinner and lots of alcohol. Good food from a nice, classy restaurant. Good, fine, warm wine.

 

 

Naga planned to get so hammered she didn't remember her own name. She sure as hell didn't want to remember today. Oh, and excellent. It was beginning to rain. Naga quickly let go of the tree, recalling what people said about trees and lightning, and used Levitation to fly to the horse.

 

 

It had the same nicely maintained saddle, complete with two fine leather saddlebags. The horse's hind legs were covered with mud, but Flaming Justice still had that quiet dignity. As much as a horse with a name like that could have anyway.

 

 

She nearly went through Phil's bags before deciding to find the liar. Justice would be dealt on his betraying (but still rather sweet and cute) ass. Wait, what? Phil's…rather sweet and cute…

 

 

 

Her mind went blank for a few minutes while hail and sleet rain down upon her. The wind tore at her hair and cape and the remnants of her gloves were torn from her very hands. But it was still a while before her mind began to work again.