Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Reborn Human - In Contempt of One's Own Creator ❯ In Contempt of One's Own Creator ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Title: Reborn Human - In Contempt of One's Own Creator

Xel's POV, drabble, slight-angst, slash

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He always asks me.

"Why did you do it, Xellos? Tell me."

And my reply is always the same.

"It's a secret."

Even when we walk alone, talk of other things. Laugh together, sitting under a tree, enjoying the summer's breeze. And I look into his eyes and see that question still there. In my own eyes, I give nothing away.

We sit together in our room every night. He always reads a book before bed, next to the fire. I like the way the firelight reflects off of him like golden highlights. I can still imagine him, in my mind's eye, of what he used to be. I miss him in that image, but he's happier now. And that means more to me than anything, now. The book will lay in his hands, close to his lap, and he gives his entire attention to it. His face is still beautiful, only much more peaceful than I could ever have imagined.

This is what gives me no regrets. It isn't fashionable for Mazoku to have regrets, but... Well. It's different now, that it is.

He reads now, a book of history he picked up somewhere. In the silence that creeps into this room, I am left alone while he journey’s into his own world. He's a scholar now, and enjoys it. I stay by his side, unable to do anything but watch him and think... How things could be different for the both of us if...

... if only I had chosen differently...

But no. I have no regrets. He is happy now. And damn Xellas-sama anyway. She could never understand him, or Lina-san. She tried, I give her that. It's a part of the reason I followed Lina-tachi for so long.

Yes, I was in contempt with her, my creator. Yes, I disobeyed her. She was angry. This life is the direct result of my master's ire.

But Xellas-sama said, in the end, that it was my choice what I wished to become, to do with my existence.

This was my choice.

He looks up from his book suddenly and startles me. "Xellos..."

I smile brightly. "Yes?"

"Come here."

My smile grows wider and I walk over to him, sitting in his comfortable plush chair. I feel my heart skip a beat when he smiles back. Before, in our past, would he ever have smiled at me if I hadn't...?

Zelgadis pats the arm of his chair and I take my seat there - if a little uncomfortable. I tilt my head curiously, short hair falling in my face.

"You have something on your mind, Zelgadis?" I ask.

He smile fades. He reaches up and touches the side of my face, and I lean into his touch like a contented cat. And I am content this way. Despite the whisperings from my former master I hear in my ear from time to time. Despite the mocking I know the other Mazoku are doing at my expense, saying that I lost my pride. I am content...

... but...

"You're not happy, Xellos," he says.

My face falters as well now. "Of course I am!" I argue.

How did he know? How could he have seen through my act? No! He wasn't supposed to know!

"Tell me, please," he asked, quietly pleading, but voice carrying a note of authority. "Why have you done this? Why?"

I have to tell him now. He knows the truth. There's no use hiding it any longer. Besides, there'll be no living with him if I don't!

I smile down at him, but I know it won't reach my eyes.

"I returned you to your human form because I love you," I tell him, answering the first question. "And I turned myself into a human because you would never love me as a Mazoku."


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Totally would never happen. I know that. This was inspired by Eugene's Zel/Xel angst-ridden fanmanga. If you haven't read it before, do so. It's lovely. Eugene also does wonderful fanart. I'm still squealing over it.

http://tsoc.new21.net/fanart/Eugene/man/3/3intro.htm