Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ She Fades Away ❯ Chapter 1

She Fades Away

 

A Song by Alphaville

 

 

Grey - Song Lyrics

Black - Any Narrative

 

 

She's like a frostfern in my head

The lamp light burns my eyes and then she fades away

My pencil frozen in my hand

And the letter I can't write

It seems to be a desert without end

 

Zel sat alone in an empty room. There was no one he would have wanted there to interrupt his thoughts and musings. This moment was his alone as he considered what had happened. He had often been overlooked by the others. This was one of the times he was glad to be overlooked - extremely pleased about being left alone. They hadn't noticed anyway. They hadn't noticed that day at the tavern. He had his back turned to the rest of the company. Lina and Gourry had been arguing about something. Zel had been too distracted by the serious eyes that watched him. People often stared, but never had someone looked at him as this girl was looking now. He felt his stone heart beating faster than before, but his situation, his personal embarrassment at his appearance pushed him away from her interested gaze. He remembered only his bad experiences with women he had been drawn to.

 

After they left the town, she seemed to be tracking him. His courage grew with each encounter, but the more he saw those topaz eyes the more suspicious he became. There had to be a reason she was following them. Lina had noticed they had seen the same girl more then once and had complained. No one said anything else. His anger at being chased in that manner was burning him, as it had with others. He would not treat her gently, regardless of her intrigued eyes.

 

I woke up late at night

She called me up

Then disappeared

And the echo of her voice filled the empty places in my dreams

With the silence tide

 

He caught her by the edge of her cloak and clamped his hand over her mouth. She was trapped by him. The hallway in the inn was dark, but he knew her footsteps by now. The fabric of her clothing felt cool as though she had just been outside.

 

“Why are you following me?” he demanded. “Answer quietly.” He took his hand off her mouth.

 

Silence.

 

“Why are you following me?”

 

Still silence.

 

“Why won't you answer me?” his frustration mounting.

 

Still silence.

 

It was then that Zelgadis noticed that she wasn't struggling either. He let go of her and put her away from him. She seemed to fall on the floor, but didn't make a sound.

 

“Please don't be angry with me Zelgadis-san,” she said quietly.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“Your help,” she said in a silvery whisper.

 

“What could I do that would help you?” He towered over her now. A white beam of light broke across the young girl's face, likely from the moon shining through a window. Her eyes looked, not afraid, but pleading. He liked how she looked at him. He liked how she seemed to ask him; like that she liked him and was not afraid of him.

 

For an instant he wondered what it would be like to kiss her. No one would know. The experience of holding someone who wanted to be held was something he thought he would never know unless he regained his human form. Right then, in the darkness, in the cover of night, the idea of knowing what he believed he could live without charmed him. Maybe that was the help she needed anyway.

 

She didn't say anything more, but it seemed to Zelgadis that she understood his thought and wetted her lips so they seemed to sparkle a violent rouge in the moon's caress.

 

He reached down to grasp her wrist, but couldn't seem to find it in the darkness. He turned his head back to the moon light that surrounded her. He called out for her, but she had gone.

 

She fades away

Again

She fades away

She fades away again

Don't go now

Please, stay

 

At first he paced the halls of the inn, wondering if she were playing a game. Then he went back to his room. As he shut the door, his foolishness baffled him and angering him as never before. He laid his body out on his long bed wondering where he had left his senses. He was ready to slit her throat as he had waited for her in the night. Pulling first watch was his duty, he reminded himself, trying to talk himself into sanity. Then he was jumping to his feet, feeling lighter than usual, and throwing the shutters back to see if she was in the courtyard. Maybe it was still a game, he told himself. He saw a glimmer of something that shimmered; a hint of what could be her.

 

He was in the court yard now and could see nothing that reminded him of a young woman. His pride was wounded now and he went back to his chamber without any trace in his movements or manner that suggested he was blushing darkly at his situation.

 

My senses cruising through a void

As pale reflections play on the deserted roads

I hear the humming of machines

I hear a distant sound like thunder crawling through the cold

 

That night Zelgadis dreamt about her; a long dream of chasing her through a garden maze. The sky was a deep blue and she smiled and laughed as she continually evaded him. There were ribbons in her hair and her lovely white slippers left no foot print at all on the soft moss. The thought of catching her as he had once done was intoxicating and did not seem at all impossible. Yet as she moved, it seemed not the movements of an ordinary girl. She seemed as a ghost in her lightness; a spirit in her fragrance. The desire to touch something that fascinating was powerful and pushing itself against him harder by the moment.

 

He had not caught her when Gourry called him to go the inn's baths with him. He thought he would see her on the way to the hot spring or in the dinning room when they went to breakfast. Realistically, she had been following them for weeks. Now that she had actually spoken to him, he believed she wasn't likely to vanish without a trace. However, that was exactly what she had done the night before.

 

“What's wrong with you?” Gourry asked.

 

“Nothing,” Zelgadis shrugged.

 

Gourry didn't say much to him in the hot springs and Zel got the opportunity to indulge in his memory of her. How graceful her hands had seemed and how slender her shape as he had held her to him. Had he kissed her? He was certain he had not. He would have remembered something like that.

 

There's no escape

I know

I run around in circles without end

And the more the memory grows

Dissolving from reality

With the silent tide

 

Zelgadis traveled with his companions as usual, but there was a change about him they noticed. Something was different about him. His humour came slower and his anger in battle was more evident. He became more as the demon he was and fell deeper into shadow. Sometimes he thought he saw her, but it was nothing more than playful streaks of sunlight. The dreams were longer now as well, yes, much longer than even the first one.

 

Slowly bit by bit, his dreams of her were becoming less fanciful and more painful. As he would run to catch her, she would all but disappear except for several locks of her hair, which were thrown most carelessly into Zelgadis' open palm. Then later as she ran small droplets of blood would appear where her feet had been. Soon, Zel was not chasing her to hold her in his arms, but to rescue her. In his waking hours, Zel was burdened beyond description with the sorrow and agony of watching his darling wounded so.

 

She fades away

Again

She fades away

She fades away again

Don't go now

Please, stay

Don't make me cry

 

Zel didn't need Lina or anyone else to tell him what had happened to him as the days drifted by. A spell had been cast on him. He knew enough of white magic to get rid of it whenever he wanted to. What stopped him? He wanted to know what had happened to that little sorceress.

 

He knew.

 

Somehow she had been killed before truly completing the enchantment that would bind him to her forever. He had seen the blood spray from her chest in one of his dreams. It was a dream that terrified him more than any other. Even when he dreamed of being transformed by the Red Priest, the dream hadn't struck to his heart in that way. He went over his memory of her as best he could. Someone had murdered her. He knew for sure. Maybe that was what she needed his help to defend against whoever was out to hurt her. Zel hadn't been able to help. He would have helped her if she had only asked him, he told himself repeatedly. It nearly killed him to think about it in those terms. The sweat and the panic surging were powerful. Zel held his head and tried not to forget what truths he did know. He wouldn't have hurt such a darling creature. He would have defended her.

 

His heart would soon break if he kept this up.

 

This time I've got to learn

I know, she won't return

 

The spell was a short one, but when it was complete he was free. It was like none of it had happened. He belonged to himself again . . . and the moon was rising.

 

The End

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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