Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Slayers Outrageous: Xellos is a father?! ❯ Terrible Twos ( Chapter 2 )

What? Is it true? Xellos has a daughter?

Chapter Two. The Terrible Twos!

Having been relieved of his duties for a well deserved, and perhaps even a century long, vacation, Xellos is starting to believe that Lord Beastmaster knew of Mesuinu's existence before he himself did. "I've always been so loyal to you!", Xellos whines as Mesuinu sits on his head pulling out all of his hair that isn't gray. "Well, at least she is an evil lil half-mazaoku.", Xellos fondly reflects. A mangy and sickly ally cat walks by hopping because one of its legs is broken. "Nyonyo.", Mesu whimpers sadly and disappears from her father's head. She immediately appears behind the cat and grabs its tail. "Ah, I remember when I first pulled a cat's tail. Poor cat didn't stand a chance against me!", Xellos reminisces fondly. Mesuinu mutters a few words in baby talk and the cat is suddenly looking very healthy and happy. She lets go of its tail and it starts purring as it rubs up against her soft and innocent face. "By XELAS!", Xellos exclaims in a panic quickly snatching up the little two year old.

Mesuinu looks sadly towards the cat that had already wandered off. "Nyo....nyo.....", Mesu cries softly missing the kitty. "What did you just do to that cat?", Xellos demands of the spoiled two year old who could neither walk nor talk, but could apparently teleport and cast spells instead. Mesu gurgles and grabs her daddy's arm. A dim white light surrounds her hand causing Xellos to recoil and drop her. Of course, Mesuinu teleports safely to the ground. "That was a white magic spell! There's no WAY you can be my daughter, no, no, no way!", Xellos protests rubbing his wound.

"General-Priest Xellos!", a small and dark faerie-like creature exclaims darting towards Xellos. "Eh, Incarius? What is it?", Xellos demands of the imp. "Lord Beastmaster wishes to see you immediately!", Incarius replies. "Good, I was getting bored.", Xellos admits. "Don't forget your daughter. Lord Beastmaster wishes to see her for herself.", the imp adds. "But but but! Very well." Incarius promptly disappears. Xellos reaches down to grab Mesuinu who immediately bites his hand. Not wanting his master to be angry with him, he immediately teleports with the little brat.

"Ah, so this is your little baby?", Xelas Metallium inquires. "Well, no, not really. I was led to believe that she was, but there is no way she could be mine.", Xellos replies bowing as Mesuinu slides off his hand. Mesu's eyes wander towards the darting black butterfly that is flickering about. "Oh? Is that so, Xellos?" "Yes, there is no way a child of mine should be able to cast horrible holy spells." "Apparently whoever her mother was, had a lot of magical energy. Just seeing her, I believe that she possesses a very powerful ability to cast both kinds of magic." "I haven't exactly seen her cast a Dragon Slave or anything."

"GIIIIIIII!!!" *CRUSH* "GIIIIIIIII!!!" *CRUSH* "GIIIIIII!!!" "Lo...." *CRUSH* "GIIIIIIIII!!!" "....rd...." *CRUSH* "GIIIIIIIII!" "Be....." *CRUSH* Xellos turns around to see what Mesuinu is doing and finds her crushing and resurrecting the poor little imp. "As you can see, she has a tendency to use her white magic quite mischievously." Xellos eyes shift angrily towards Mesuinu who continues her wanton crushing and reviving of Incarius. "So that's why the little brat....." "Isn't she wonderful? And to think, I never expected that you'd create such a wondrous new servant for me." "You actually want Mesuinu?" "Yes, in fact, she'd make a fine assistant for you. You yourself have seen just how powerful of a force is created by fusing black and white magic, so she'd be a much valued initiative." "Indeed." "So do your best to raise her to serve as an Assistant General-Priest." "Is that an order?", Xellos inquires. "Yes...it is.", Beastmaster informs.

Xellos stands atop a cliff in the desert. Mesuinu sits gazing at her surroundings on the edge of the cliff. "First lesson, if you're going to blend in, you're going to have to learn to walk. Sure, teleporting is much easier, but it gets to be pretty suspicious. Even daddy travels around by foot. Now then, come to daddy!" Mesuinu suddenly appears sitting on Xellos's staff. Xellos frowns frustrated. "My that was the right word.", Xellos remarks picking her up and setting her back on the edge. He slowly walks backs. "Alright, Mesuinu, walk for daddy!", Xellos requests wearing a fake smirk on his face. Mesuinu stumbles to stand and sets one foot in front of the other. She immediately proceeds to walk backwards and fall off the cliff.

"MESUINU!!!", Xellos exclaims with panic and immediately teleports to the edge. He looks down, but doesn't see her. He is about to make his way down to search the ravine when he hears a "BIIIIDA!" Startled, he slips off the edge and immediately falls down to the bottom Coyote style. He is not happy. "Mesu...inu!" The two year old giggles. Certainly an evil giggle.

Xellos picks himself up and off of the ravine floor and teleports to the top of the cliff. "Fine! I've HAD it! Do whatever you want! I'm out of here!", Xellos remarks and teleports away. Mesuinu slowly walks towards where Xellos had teleported. Suddenly she is scooped up into her daddy's arms. "That' my little demon spawn!", Xellos proclaims proudly. Mesuinu pokes him in the eye. "Ow."

"Now that you know how to walk, you need to learn how to talk." Xellos walks down a quaint little village road holding Mesuinu's hand tightly. "Now then, say 'daddy.'" Mesuinu sticks her tongue out. "Then how about say something that daddy really hates.", Xellos suggests. Mesuinu looks up at her daddy with a devious smile. "Say...*shudder* 'Filia.'" "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!", Mesuinu screams at the top of her lungs. Xellos smirks. "Well, if you ever learned anything from me, it's to hate Filia. After about ten minutes of screaming, Mesuinu finally quiets down. "Now then, there MUST be something you'd want to say.", Xellos notes. "Suki!", Mesuinu blurts causing her Mazoku daddy to fall flat on his face. Released from his grip, the two year old takes off. "And...she...meant...it...too.", Xellos mutters in pain. (Note: "suki", Japanese for "like" is also used to express "I love you." "Aishiteru" is a more romantic kind of love, so "suki" fits in perfectly here.)

After several hours of tracking and chasing Mesuinu, Xellos manages to scoop her up. "Oh, our next lesson is going to be fun!", Xellos remarks sarcastically. Sighing, he carries her back to their tavern room and takes her to the restroom. "Potty training! Joy of joys!", Xellos cringes as he sets Mesuinu down. "PikaPOO!", Mesuinu giggles spitefully. "This porcelain bowl is called a toilet. When you're old enough to drink alcohol, you'll come to know it as the Porcelain God. Tis the only god us Mazoku care to worship." "Pika...POO!", Mesuinu grunts, filling the room with a hideous stench. "ACK the Porcelain God! No, no, no, and NO! You're a big girl, you poo in the Porcelain God now! Porcelain God demands TRIBUTE! Porcelain God wants ALL of your pee and poo! Give tribute to the Porcelain God!" "Pee...pee...peeka!", Mesu proclaims peeing her diaper.

Xellos hits his head on the toilet in frustration. "By the Porcelain GOD, I've hit a rough spot!" "But just wait til I hit puberty! All the fun we'll have then!", Mesuinu comments energetically with a loud smirk.