Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Some Things are Better Kept Secret ❯ Secret One ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Genre: Humor/General

Summary: Xellos goes to a Catholic confession. Oh boy, that poor priest! Oh, actually all the Slayers char's go, but Xellos is the main focus

Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers, though i'd do a lot for Xellos

Sometimes it's Better Kept a Secret

Written By: Oni-Baka

Zelgadis

That day...who would've thought that Lina was catholic! Okay, he'd have imagined Amelia, it seemed like her, but he'd never met anyone in his whole life who followed the traditional view of Christianity less than Lina Inverse.

And so, it had surprised him when suddenly, after defeating their latest overpowered enemy, Lina had suggested, strongly and with little suggestion in her voice as usual, that thy all go to a local temple that Sunday and attend a confession.

At first, Zelgadis had been of a mind to disagree, Dragon Slave's aside, but after a while the idea began to have more and more appeal to him. Not that he necessarily beleived in God, but it would be good to get some of his more grievous sins off his chest by telling them to someone. And so, to the disbelief of the others, he had agreed readily.

And now, here they were, on their way to a rather famous cathedral in Seyruun, where Amelia claimed the great prophet Serium the Sage had preached for much of his life.

"Ah yes, Serium's Cathedral" a very familiar nasally voice intoned from somewhere over Zelgadis's left shoulder. "Known for its stunning art and of being the holiest place in all of Seyruun."

"All of Seyruun?" Amelia burst in, "It's the holiest place in the whole worl!"

"Yes, yes" Xellos agreed, waving a hand dismissively. "So tell me, what brings you to a Catholic church such as this one? I haven't heard any peculiar rumors about this place for a while. I know for a fact they aren't in possession of a manuscript of the Claire Bible."

Zel smirked. "Now that-" he said in an imitation of the priest's own irritating tones "Is a secret. Heh" Xellos merely raised a curious eyebrow. "Oh really?" The rest of the group shrugged, letting Zel have his fun. Xellos smiled his little Trickster Priest smile. "I suppose you wouldn't mind then, if I joined you, to satiate my curiosity. I do so hate secrets, after all." Everyone could only roll their eyes at that.

While rolling his eyes, and image popped unbidden into his mind. A laughing Xellos, with the smoking ruins of the church beneath his feet. "No way!" he shouted with Lina, who'd thought of a similiar image, and Xellos pouted a moment, before smiling again. "All right then" he said, and dissapeared. Zel sighted in relief.Xellos at a church would be a disaster. Besides the obvious threatr of him blowing the place sky-high, there was always the possibility he would pop up in some of the most unlikely places: In the priest's side of the confession booth, for examle, where Zel would unwittingly confess all of his sins to him.

The three walked into the beautiful edifice then, marvelling at the beautifully detailed murals and stained glass windows. Z shiver ran up Zel's spine. Apprehension? No, he must just be nervous about confessing. He watched a line of monks make their way slowly up the center aisle, where a service was going on, and his eyes rested wearily on one of the monk's hair. He thought vaguely to himself that it looked like Xellos's hair. Xellos's? The "monk" looked over his shoulder once to grin, fox-faced, in Zel's direction, before he took his place stonily beside a stiff-shouldered monk.

Xellos

This would prove to be fun. He'd almost laughed for glee at the look on Zelgadis's face when he'd walked by him in the monk's getup. He was practically drunk off the waves of horror and apprehension still manating from the direction he'd come. A little shiver went up Xellos's spine as well. He'd never been in a church before, his kind almost studiously avoiding them out of a strict suprestittion more than anything else. After all, they weren't vmpires, to cower from crosses and holy water. It just made them uncomfortable.

Xellos eyed the monk standing next to him amusedly. So stiff and filled with propriety. Exactly the kind of person he enjoyed torturing the most. He was about to make some sort of jibe about Catholics, something to really hit the monk hard, when he felt a silencing spell hit him. He could have broken it easily, but he was more curious as to where it had come from. He looked around, to see Lina glaring at him and motioning for him to come over to her.

He did, shedding his monk's robes in favor of his more garish purple robes, and skipped happily to Lina's side, drawing dissaproving looks from the congregation, and bewildered one's from the monks. Lina hit him on the head sharply when he reached her, and he pretended to rub his head as if it actually had hurt. "What do you think you're doing, Xellos?" Lina hissed at him. Xellos casually broke the spell freexing his vocal chords with a yawn. "Well" he stated, making no effort to lower his voice, "you wouldn't take me in to confession with you, so I figured I would go in myself."

Lina rubbed her temples, vaguely noicing when Zel came to stand beside her, glaring death in the mazoku's direction. "Alright, here's the compromise" Lina said after a few moments of consideration, and looked up into the smiling Trickster's face. "You stick with us, play the humn and not burn down the church-" Xellos opened his mouth to protest, a look on his face like Lina was ruining all his fun, but Lina ignored him "and we won't interfere with whatever it is your ulterior motive for being here is. And" Lina sighed again "we'll let you attend confession with us."

"WHAT?!" Zelgadis yelled, drawing looks from some of the churchgoers "You can't let that monster into a confession booth! I bet you anything he'll just feed the priest one of his 'sore wa himitsu desu's' and then silently blast the poor guy."

A delighted Xellos shook a finger at Zelgadis disapprovingly. "Tsk, tsk, Mr. Zelgadis, you have so little faith in me. What if I promise you I'll be a good little demon and confess my sins like all good Catholics should?" Zel looked at him suspiciously. "Why would you do that?" he asked, and Xellos smiled. "Sore wa-" he began, before Zelgadis leapt forward and wrapped his hands around Xellos's throat. He looked into Xellos's eyes, open in surprise, seriously. "A straight answer, Fruitcake" he warned. Xellos nodded, and Zel reluctantly let go. "To tell the truth, it's because I've always been curious about the practice" Xellos confessed, smile twisted wryly. :I never really understood the idea that talking about all the bad things you've done, to a dried-up old man, would suddenly make them go away."

Lina gritted her teeth. "it doesn't make them go away" she answered seriously "I should know that better than anyone. It's letting your sins be known to God, so that you can repent." Xellos opened his mouth curiously, about to ask a question, before Lina shook her head at him. "Not now. If that's really your reason for coming here, and I'm not saying I believe you, then I invite you to experence this for yourself. Just don't freak out the priest."

With that, Lina turned, and began walking purposefully in the direction she'd seen Amelia and Gourry already go. Zelgadis followed, looking warily over his shoulder at Xellos, who waved at him while following all the while. Zel gritted his teeeth and turned back away from Xellos.

He grinned, repeating his earlier statement. This was going to be fun.

End Part 1

Woooooow! This was just supposed tobe a little one-shot!
I mean, the story took all of two seconds to come up with. But I like the idea of Xellos going to confession. Now this is going to be a two-chapter one-shot! Well, possibly. I get three reviews and chapter two goes up! Thanks for reading!