Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Unwanted Memories ❯ Chapter 4 ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: Slayers and their characters are not owned by me. They belong to Hajime Kanzaka, Rui Araizumi and any other companies which own them. I'm just borrowing them for a little bit and I promise to give them back all in perfect working order.

 

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Gourry sighed when he was pretty much told to talk about everything that had happened. He wasn't too sure he wanted to bring up all these memories again. All he had known was that when these memories came to him, bad things happened. And usually those bad things would happen to Lina, the last person he wanted bad things to happen to.

 

However, he noted that Adalric mentioned that Lina brought up the subject. After all, it was Lina who had brought him here for help. Despite his unwillingness to speak about his past, this was to protect Lina. He did make that promise to her and so he was going to abide by it. It didn't matter if he had to use his sword, or let go of the feelings he had inside.

 

“The Sword of Light has been in my family for a long time. I mean a really long time. The sword would be passed from the father to his oldest son and it has been like that for as long as is known. You would think there would be lots of fights going on with the younger sons but I guess my ancestors didn't have many children. I remember my grandfather telling me that his parents and their parents didn't have many children. He told me it was because quite often kids would get sick and would die back then.”

 

Gourry stared at the ground before him as they walked through the streets slowly. Adalric did the same and paid close attention to what Gourry said.

 

“I was the younger of two and so my older brother was going to get the Sword of Light, just like my father got the sword instead of his two younger brothers. I guess I didn't mind so much if I didn't get the sword but I could see that my uncles were jealous of my father.

 

I still remember my father teaching my brother how to fight. I would always watch from a far and try and copy what they did. My father noticed and smiled, he liked the fact that I was trying even though I was never going to get the sword. It turned out I was starting to practice more than my brother. My mother seemed to think that my older brother thought that since the Sword of Light was his, he didn't have to work as hard.

 

I didn't really pay attention to that during the time and just concentrated on my swordsmanship and listening to the advice my mother would give me. She would teach me about being kind to others and those less fortunate than myself. I hope that she's proud of me and forgiven me for some of the things I've done.”

 

The two of them stopped by a small playing field within the town. They both sat down at a bench where Gourry continued on.

 

“I guess the trouble started when I was about fifteen. It was then I started to notice that my uncles were jealous of my father. They often spoke to my older brother in secret. There was growing frustration because he wasn't given the sword yet. My father explained that he wasn't ready yet but I guess my uncles believed that my father just wanted to keep the sword for himself for as long as possible.

 

At that point I left home to further my skills as a swordsman. My father told me that being a mercenary would give me good experience. Not only would I improve my swordsmanship but I would also learn how to get by with little money. I was nervous about leaving my family behind especially when things were looking bad but my father told me things would be ok. I was excited at the thought and so I did as he said and left.

 

I'd get paid just for general jobs. Normally they were the dirty ones that no one really wanted to do, but I made money and that's all that really mattered at the time. I didn't think much about what I was doing. I just remembered the things I learnt from my father and just concentrated on the fact that I needed the money.

 

Then there was a big job. A group of us had become good friends and we all looked out for each other. When this job came, we jumped at the chance because there was a great pay. I was the youngest of the group but we were all caught up in the size of the pay. We would have been able have a real good month or so, staying in nice hotels and eating good food instead of sitting around a camp fire and eating rations.

 

We were paid by a lord who had joined a group of many others in an uprising in Lyzeille. It was a mistake to take the job and we should have realised it from the start. To be paid so much money obviously meant huge risks, but we all felt invincible. We were fighting against a whole country! If I had used my common sense and not looked at the money I would have realised it was suicide.

 

In the end we didn't back out and we were there on the frontlines. We saw the opposing army and realised we had made a mistake. However we were paid for a job and so we had to do it. That was the unwritten code. It was horrible watching my friends die around me and no matter how hard I fought and tried, I just wasn't fast enough to protect them.

 

I was knocked out from behind and I don't know who I should thank but I woke up several hours later. At the time I thought I was dead and I was in hell. How could a place on this world look so terrible? As far as I could see there were dead bodies and blood. The smell was horrific and within moments I was vomiting. My hands were covered in the blood of my dead friends. It all became too much for me to be honest.

 

I had my sword but no desire to use it ever again after witnessing what terrible things it was capable of. All I could think about was heading back home. It was the only place of comfort I could think of. I thought that my parents would tell me that everything was ok. I headed back to Elmekia and did everything I could to forget the horrors of that battle.

 

I returned to find that one morning my father was found dead. All hell broke loose and there was fighting within the family. My uncles turned against each other and there were arguments over who should get the sword. Some would say that my older brother should have got it. Others said the next eldest should get the sword which meant one of my uncles. I didn't care who got the damned sword just as long as all the fighting would stop.

 

It wouldn't stop and there was nothing but bloodshed amongst family members and close friends. The family was forced to split into two; you were either on one side or the other. It tore me apart because our family was pretty happy up until then. I hated seeing them fighting and I knew it was all because of that stupid sword. That sword caused the death of my father and some of my family.”

 

“So you stole it?” Adalric said quietly.

 

Gourry just nodded slowly in reply.

 

“I'm guessing the fighting didn't stop then.” He added.

 

“From what I heard, not much changed. At first things got even worse because the sword was stolen. One side accused the other of stealing, and the same accusation was returned. Then when they found out what happened and that I was the one that took it, they directed their anger towards me. They claimed that the other side forced me to steal it for them but apparently I double crossed them and took it for myself. I heard my brother was really really angry with me.

 

I thought that maybe if I got rid of the cause of the argument then the fighting would stop. Not long before I met Lina, I heard that the fighting had started to die down. Apparently both my uncles were killed in a fight. I guess that meant they were the leaders of the fighting. I still think my brother hates me though.”

 

Adalric placed a hand on Gourry's shoulder. “What you did was done with the best of intentions. I have a feeling that your father didn't want to give the sword to your brother because he found someone else more deserving of it. I think he wanted to give the sword to you.”

 

“That's what my mother told me but I still feel guilty about it to this day. I sometimes think what I did was cowardly. I just ran away from the problems instead of facing up to them. I was seventeen and felt like I could do things myself, and solve all the problems but I just avoided them. But then I wonder if I had done it sooner, maybe my father would still be alive. He might have been angry with me for stealing it, but at least he would be alive.”

 

Adalric looked down at the ground whilst sat on the bench, trying to take all the information in. He would have said some words to make Gourry feel better but he admitted to himself that there wasn't much he could say. He couldn't imagine being in that situation himself. He realised the difficulty of such a situation and wondered if he was in the same situation, would he have done anything different. He knew many would probably not have the bravery to do what Gourry did. He thought that many would have just kept quiet and not done much.

 

“So when I left, all I had was a magical sword and my swordsmanship skills. I had no home, no money. I thought about becoming a mercenary again but after what happened before I had my doubts. I had to make money though and that was the only way to do it. I started to do small jobs again but tried to not make a big group of friends again in fear of losing them all like last time.

 

I made a couple of friends and the jobs kept coming to keep me going. However my mind was always on Elmekia and when I heard things weren't really calming down, I decided enough was enough. There just didn't seem to be much point to things.”

 

“So you decided to throw the sword away.” Adalric interjected.

“How did you know that?” Gourry replied with surprise.

“I have a policy to call a man second class when he doesn't care about his sword and I call him below third class when he is hard on his sword.”

 

Gourry's eyes widened in shock as certain memories came back to him and things started to slot into place. A thought that had been nagging at him for awhile suddenly became clear.

 

“You're the guy with the fishing rod and you wouldn't tell me your name!”

“Took you long enough to work that out, Gourry. I never thought you to be the brightest person. You definitely have a good heart but not the sharpest brain.”

“Lina insists I have yoghurt in there instead of brains.”

“I would have to agree with her.”

“So wait a minute. Does that mean you pointed me to Lina? I met her only four days after I left you.”

“No. I hadn't seen Lina for two years. It must have been a complete coincidence. Some might call it fate.”

“I see. I just had the thought you sent Lina after me to get the Sword of Light. She was pestering me for it when she first realised I had it.”

“Nah, that's just Lina. She's knows when something is valuable or powerful and she just has to have it. She picked that up from her parents. We both became merchants after settling down. I was a mercenary like you whilst Lyra was a sorceress like Lina.”

 

Gourry blinked when that little bit of information was revealed to him. Then he smiled a little.

 

“I remember now, you mentioned you were a mercenary. I never thanked you for helping me then. I'm not sure what I would have done at that time. Probably could have died eating that poison fish.”

“You could give me that Sword of Light as thanks.”

 

Gourry smiled and shook his head.

 

“I don't have it anymore, but even if I did I'm sorry but I wouldn't be able to give it to you.”

“What happened to it?”

“It's been returned to the place it belongs. I think it's for the best. It should never have been in my family in the first place. At least now there is a good excuse for them not having it anymore instead of just me stealing it.”

“So you didn't give it to Lina then.”

“Nope.”

“You're either very brave, or stupider than I thought.”

“I have a feeling after some time Lina didn't really care about having it anymore. We stayed together even after I gave it away.”

“It sounds like you've been through a lot together.”

 

Gourry's eyes narrowed as he stared at the ground once more. He recalled their close encounters. The incident with Phibrizzo remained the strongest memory to haunt his dreams along with his past as a mercenary.

 

“There have been a lot of real good times, and a few scary close calls. We've fought mazoku lords and continued on as always once the battles were over. It's been the best period of my life. I didn't have to worry about the problems at home. The friends I had lost were finally buried. I had meaning to my life for once.”

“I couldn't agree with you more. Travelling with Lyra and having adventures was great, although fighting powerful mazoku was something we missed out. I think I'm glad we did!”

“Yeah. Those battles weren't something to enjoy at the time. It wasn't like we were looking for those battles. They just happened, and we couldn't just walk away and pretend it didn't happen. But the relief you get afterwards is something that can't be described. You're just glad to still be alive.”

 

Adalric looked closer to the swordsman and could still see something was bothering him. It was all in the eyes.

 

“So you got through those events pretty much unscathed.” Adalric mentioned.

 

Gourry shook his head slightly.

 

“There was on particular battle that stands out. It's something I've only really become aware of until recently. I was kidnapped by Phibrizzo and turned into a puppet. He tried to make me kill Lina.”

 

Adalric's eyes glared slightly towards Gourry.

 

“Just recently I've started to learn what happened. At the time I had no memory of the events. Lina never told me about what happened. I think she knew how I would feel if I had learnt what happened. I just remember waking up and being in a cold dark place. I was myself then, but soon I heard his voice. He made himself to be like a child. I was protecting him before, wanting to keep him safe. How was I supposed to know he was a mazoku lord?”

 

Gourry clenched his fists as he recalled the events.

 

“I could then feel the darkness trying to take over my body. I tried to fight it, I really did. I just wasn't strong enough. My next memory was attacking Lina and my friends. I couldn't stop my body. I screamed and begged for it to stop, but I just continued to fight. I was at a point where I was capable of a finishing blow. I didn't want it to happen and so I tried as hard as I could and my body started to react. But the darkness just strengthened its hold on me and I struck downwards. Thank Ceipheid that Lina was no longer there.”

 

Gourry buried his head in his hands and his shoulders started to shake.

 

“I thought I was going to kill her.”

“But you didn't Gourry. You didn't kill her.”

“But I'm supposed to be her protector! I should have been able to resist!”

“You're being too harsh on yourself. Despite what you feel, you're human and Phibrizzo was the strongest of the mazoku sub-lords. You did well to resist when you could but there wasn't a thing you could do no matter how hard you tried.”

“It still doesn't make things better.”

“No it doesn't, but you have to learn to live with it. Bad things happen Gourry, and no matter how hard you try you can't stop it. But you learn to live with it. You learn to carry on. Otherwise you would just give up and what would be the point? If you gave up, you would never have met Lina. If you give up now, what else could you miss out on?

 

I've had my fair share of bad experiences, and there are times I've felt like giving up, but I know if I gave up, I would miss out on so much more. I would never have met Lyra. I would never have had two wonderful daughters and would never have been able to watch them grow up into amazing people.

 

No regrets Gourry. Life is too short to be able to regret things. There must be things you're scared to face right now, but you have to fight them head on. You have to embrace it and learn to deal with it. Only then will you be able to move on. But as long as you keep that fear, it's going to hold you back.”

 

Gourry turned his head to the side to look to Adalric and nodded his head slightly.

 

“The more I let it hold me back, the more it's going to make me hurt Lina.”

“Not just Lina, you'll hurt yourself too.”

“But I'm supposed to be protecting Lina.”

“I think it's got a little further than that Gourry.”

 

Gourry's face turned a faint shade of red and looked away.

 

“I still want to be her protector. I really care about her and don't want anything bad to happen to her. These past few days I've been the one to case her harm.”

“Maybe you want to protect her so much because deep inside you love her. I think it's pretty obvious that you're in love with her. And as he father I too want to protect my daughter. You protect her from harm like mazoku, where as I protect her from people like yourself who may harm her feelings. I'm interested to know where this will go.”

“I'm going to protect her for the rest of my life. That was my promise to her and I'm going to keep it.”

 

Adalric smiled at the immediate and simple reply.

 

“I'm sure you'll do a very good job with that Gourry.”

“At the moment I'm not so sure about it with the way I've been.”

“Well just remember what I've told you. I know it scares you more than anything else, but you have to fight it. You're doing this for Lina, right? That means you have to fight with all you that you have. You're not alone in feeling like this. I've seen this happen to plenty of other people. It's ruined the lives of some, and others have overcome it.

 

But never forget, you're not alone. Lina is there for you as well. I know she wants to protect you too. That's why she asked me to help you; she's worried and scared for your safety. You can overcome this if you're willing to fight.”

 

Gourry nodded slowly and then stood up, Adalric joining him.

 

“Thank you…umm…I can't remember your name. Actually I don't think you ever gave me it.”

“I didn't, did I? I suppose with the way things are, I should tell you now. My name is Adalric.”

“Thanks Adalric.”

 

Gourry offered a hand to shake. Adalric smiled and nodded a little, taking Gourry's hand and shaking firmly.

 

“We better check in on the girls” He then frowned.

“We weren't gone that long. What could they get up to?”

 

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“YAAGGGHHHHH!” Lina screeched with pure fear.

 

Luna had her pinned to the ground and was slowly dropping slugs onto her head.

 

“What did I tell you?” Adalric sighed to Gourry. He then turned to the two with a firm look. “I thought I told you two to look after your mother!”

 

Luna looked up and let go of Lina who shot up from the ground and raced to Gourry, wrapping her arms around him. Gourry was sure she was saying quite a few things but couldn't make them out since she was half crying and half mumbling into his tunic. He looked up to Luna whilst picking out the slugs from her hair.

 

“Mama woke up and said she wanted to be left alone, so Lina and I decided to do a little bit of catching up.” Luna smirked with that last remark.

 

Adalric shook his head in what appeared to be slight annoyance. “I thought you two would have grown up by now.”

“They're gone now right Gourry?” Lina sniffled with watery eyes as she clung onto the swordsman for dear life.

“Yeah, all gone now.” He smiled whilst patting her back. Lina leaned into him for comfort before realising the company she was keeping.

 

Adalric smiled with a little grin when Lina sharply pulled away from Gourry and corrected herself, and then proceeded to give Luna one of her trademark death glares. Luna just returned the look with crossed arms and an amused smirk.

 

“Well I think it's time for some dinner. I would hate to force you two to your rooms just for acting like children.” Adalric spoke with a demanding tone. The Inverse sisters suddenly turned to their father with innocent eyes. “I thought so.”

 

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The Inverse family plus Gourry sat down for dinner and the mood was very good. Lina noticed the mood in Gourry was very different. He seemed much more like his old self and for that she mouthed a silent thank you to her father. He replied the same way with your welcome before she started to fight Gourry over a shank of lamb.

 

After dinner, they all sat round in a circle and exchanged stories. Gourry and Lina spoke of the adventures they got up to. Adalric and Lyra spoke of things that happened in the store. Luna kept mainly quiet but that was not too unusual within the Inverse household.

 

After some time, Gourry excused himself and stepped outside for a little fresh air. A few moments later Lina joined him outside. A quick glance around the area confirmed to her that they were alone and she leaned back into Gourry. The swordsman wrapped his arms around her and rested his head gently on top of hers.

 

“So did your talk with my dad help?” She asked him, feeling comfortable in his arms.

“Yeah. I think it helped quite a bit. I'm not cured, but I think I can deal with it.”

“You know I'm always here for you. You're not in this alone.”

“I know, I know. I'm glad.”

“Good, because if you think you can just push me away with all that crap about wanting to protect me, then you can forget about it!”

 

Gourry went quiet for a moment and squeezed Lina a little tighter.

 

“What is it?” She questioned.

“This isn't going to be easy and it's not going to be pleasant. I'm still not sure I'm going to be strong enough.”

“I know it won't be easy. I also know that you are strong enough. You also should realise that when we fight together, we're pretty much invincible. I won't be going anywhere. I'll be right beside you when things get tough.”

“Thanks Lina.”

“Now let's go to bed before Luna puts slugs in there.”

“What's the deal with the slugs?”

“We're NOT going there, ok?”