Slayers Fan Fiction ❯ Where to Draw the Line ❯ Chapter 1

This story is in dedication to the infectious enthusiasm the stories and essays written by Robofetus0 has brought me over the years. Her ability to render two-dimensional characters into something that we all can relate with has always amazed me. She has the wonderful ability to dream and the God-given gift to transcribe it so masterfully into written word. Here's to many more brilliant years of writing to come.

I love you so much.

-Daisy

Where to Draw the Line

Being immortal isn't as glorious as humans would like to believe it is. Unless being hideously bored has some enchanting allure that only appeals to those with limited lifespans. Most immortals struggle with, and more often than not, lose a battle to Sloth. It's simply amazing how little motivation one has to do anything when they have absolutely no fear of dying. Without the sense of urgency death brings, it is fiercely difficult to find a reason to do anything at all. Hell, even I have had to go through a period when laying in bed, soiling myself for decades on end was more appealing than engaging in life. Ironically, I have found the best way to kill my endless time is to watch those who will soon be killed by it. For the past few months the center of my entertainment has been experiencing the exploits of an alleged band of bandit killers. Let's see what they are up to right now.

"Lina, look out!!!"

"I hear ya, Gourry. Fireball!!!!"

A dozen marauding beasts that look like oversized sardines vaporize into convenient ash.

"Miss Lina, we could really use some help over here!"

Amelia isn't kidding. Fish beasts in that number are sure to overwhelm her Windy Shield in a few more moments.

"Amelia! Hold on! Ra Tilt!!!

Hmmm, a spell of that level is rather impressive. Was that really necessary to ensure her safety? Or was there some other intention behind using the Ra Tilt to protect Amelia…

"Oh Mister Zelgadiss! Thank you very much! These obviously evil and strangely slimy monsters were no match for our pure love of Justice!!"

"…anyway… we should make sure Lina and Gourry have everything under control."

"You two aren't going anywhere! Surround them!"

This is an interesting turn of events. A swordsman with long black hair and a pointy hat appears to be managing this horde of beasts. With the numbers he has at his command I'm sure Zelgadiss and Amelia will be busy for quite some time.

"Gourry, I'm coming for you. You will be bested by my Howling Sword this day, I swear it!"

"Um, how do you know my name?"

It's so strange about humans in these parts. They always seem to fall over when some magnificently retarded event occurs. Judging by Lina's and the swordsman's reaction, Gourry's statement must have fallen into this category.

"I swear to god you must be remedial, Gourry. That's Zangulus! He's challenged you to several duels, and seems to be your arch rival in swordsmanship!"

"oooHHHooo."

"…So are you going to draw your sword, or what?"

"I guess that would be a good idea. LIGHT COME FORTH!!!"

Gourry draws an ornate sword handle from his belt and positions it just in front of his hips. A ragged swath of energy bursts forth from the handle's opening. His muscles ripple and his golden hair flails in the wake of the eruption. Oh, watching a big man like Gourry summon so much power from his piece was definitely worth the trip.

"Humph. Please, that blade pales in comparison to my Howling Sword."

"Zangulus, the Sword of Light, which has been passed down for generations in my family, is a far superior weapon than yours. Prepare yourself!!!"

Oh my. Gourry is charging towards Zangulus, and Zangulus is drawing his Howling Sword from underneath his cloak. Someone is bound to get hurt. Well, since I did have a hand in starting this mess here today, I guess I should make my presence known.

"Lina Inverse, it's so good to see you again."

"Xelloss?!? What are you up to now!"

It looks like Gourry and Zangulus heard my greeting to Lina and have turned their attention rightfully onto me.

"My my, it appears that you both have the jewels of your families on display."

"You!?! What is your aim here!"

"Why Zangulus, that's no way to greet someone, especially when that someone helped you get such a great deal on a beast horde."

"Xelloss! YOU are the one who supplied that phallice fanatic with this small army of mutant marlines?"

"Well, I guess I was, wasn't I, Lina."

"Listen, I plan on dueling Gourry without interference from anyone. I told you this when I asked you about the beast horde. I don't care what any of you do as long as no one gets between me and Gourry."

I didn't think it was possible, but Lina's face just turned the color of her fiery red hair.

"YOU KNEW ALL ALONG THAT HE WAS COMING TO ATTACK US, AND YOU HELPED HIM ANYWAY??? YOU ARE SUCH A RAT BASTARD, XELLOSS!!! Source of all power, crimson fire burning bright. FLARE…"

"I didn't realize the Gourry he was talking about was YOUR Gourry…"

"MY Gourry? You make that sound like we're married or something!"

"Take that as you like. Anyway, I came to let you all know that there may be a cure to Zelgadiss's 'condition' nearby."

Wouldn't you know it, but right as I say this Zelgadiss and Amelia appear on the scene. For a man who's been partially turned into a golem AND a demon, he sure does have a cuteness to him. And his hair has some wonderful volume that defeats the laws of physics.

"Oh? And where is this cure of yours located? And, more importantly, what's in it for you this time, Xelloss?"

"Well, there has been an earthquake in this region recently. There have been rumors from travelers that an ancient ruin has been unearthed as a result. Judging from the area, I'd say that it is from a civilization that pre-dated the War between Gods and Monsters. It has been said that this civilization did extensive research into golems. I'm not sure if there is anything worth investigating, but I'm sure we'd both agree it would be interesting to visit."

"So you are suggesting these people may have knowledge that would reverse the spell that has made my skin as hard as rock? Then of course I would be interested in investigating the area."

"Super. I've always appreciated your determined nature, Zelgadiss. I'll meet up with you all tomorrow. We'll head towards the ruins at that time. Tah Tah!"

This is where I disappear from everyone's sight and reappear in the Astral Plane. However, this is the best way to still watch what is going on in the other world, without interfering with any of the fun.

"Damn. It appears the Fates are against us testing your mettle here today. You should consider yourself lucky that you have been spared a humiliating defeat at the hands of my Howling Sword. Until next time, Gourry."

Zangulus steps towards the nearest shadows and melts down into them, which makes his flight appear incredibly stealthy. However I get to witness the trick behind this 'magic'; he actually tumbles down a steep slope, completely out of view from the edge of the forest where Lina's party now stands. It's the most pathetic get away I have ever witnessed, and I have seen quite a few in my day. Alas, I must laugh alone.

"Well boys and girls, I guess that's that. I think we should head back into town."

"Yeah, and after filleting so many fish I am incredibly hungry. OooOOOoOOOOOooOHHHHHHH!!!"

"Well said, Gourry! Let's get a move on!"

"Lina, you and Gourry are unbelievable. After being covered from head to toe with entrails, I don't see how either one of you could be thinking about eating."

With this shining interjection from Zelgadiss, I think I'll take my leave, for now. I have looked ahead between here and their intended location, and I can tell you that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, nothing interesting will happen between now and then to the makeshift heroes of our tale.

Lina and crew made better time getting to Telmoord than I had expected. Judging from where they are heading, I think I understand the motive behind their haste…

"I'M STARVING I'M STARVING I NEED TO EAT NOW I'M WASTING AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!"

"With a frame like yours Lina, I certainly hope that isn't the case. You'd lose all the skimpy fruits of your stunted puberty."

Of course, Lina doesn't appreciate Zelgadiss's good wit. This is obvious by the groin kick she provided to his own pubic fruits.

"Lina!!! Look over there! A bed and breakfast!"

"Sweet mother of god we're saved!!! Gourry, lets go!!!"

"Yea! Being defenders of the good requires us to eat good!"

"You said it, Amelia. Waitress?"

"Lets get a table near the door."

"Whatever you say, Zel."

"Then that's what we'll do. What do you guys think about Zangulus showing up after all this time? If you ask me, his fascination with Gourry seems a little unhealthy."

"I'd go so far as to describe it as an infatuation. Its kinda wierding me out, too. WAITRESS?!? LET'S HAUL SOME ASS HERE!!!"

"Miss Lina, what are you saying? He's a married man! What would Martina say if she heard what you said?"

"I think Lina's not too far off the mark on this one. And while we are on the subject of their union, I wouldn't be surprised if it was a cover marriage. I can't possibly see someone of Zangulus's caliber getting into a marriage with a sociopathic idle worshipper for 'love'."

"Yeah, with all her focus on that Zoamel Gustav, that gives him plenty of room to explore his repressed sexuality. GODDAMMIT WOULD SOMEONE GIVE A GIRL SOME SERVICE OVER HERE!!!"

"Ewww! That's just not natural, guys! Besides, what could Zangulus be thinking, anyway? Gourry has Lina!"

"I don't know about any of that, Amelia! Hmmm… but Zangulus does have man-titties that put Lina's 'breasts' to shame."

My my, Gourry's comment was certainly off-the-cuff as it was, but by using his fingers to put quotes around the word 'breasts' only ensured that Lina was going to retort with her famous punch-to-the-top-of-the-head technique.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Besides, I'm sure everyone knows Gourry doesn't swing that way."

"What can I get y'all today?"

"I'm glad you recovered from your coma! I'll have ten servings of every fish dish in the house!"

"Count me in on that, too!"

"Oh, you two MUST be joking! We are all completely covered in crusted over-sized guppy guts! Even with this draft from the doorway, you must still be able to smell this horrid stench!!!"

Zelgadiss always manages to describe a situation exactly as it is. He has a fabulous way with words.

"That may be true, but this smell has been driving me crazy for a fish anything since that last battle, and I won't be a happy girl until I get the chance to down some. Waitress, keep it coming!"

"I think I'm going to be sick… I'm leaving."

"Suit yourself. That's just more for me and Gourry!"

"Mister Zelgadiss! Do you want me to come with you?"

"That's ok, Amelia. I think I'd like some time alone, anyway."

Zelgadiss just left the building, and I guess I could use some human-demon-golem interaction today.

"Well! I didn't think it was possible for you to turn green."

"Xelloss! Please, not now…"

"Come on now! Smile!"

"What?"

"Humans can suppress the gag reflex by smiling. It's a well-known fact. Of course, that'd be assuming you still have enough humanity in you for you to have said trait."

"Humph. I'll give it a try, but would you quit levitating? Its rather awkward to have a conversation with someone's crotch."

"The scenery is that unpleasant? How about this. So, after all these years, what do you think you'll do first, once you become completely human again?"

"Honestly, you don't believe I'd like to share my most intimate hopes and dreams with a monster like you. And please, do you need to stand this close?"

"Even after getting you to smile, you sure are quite the cloud blocking out the rainbow after a storm, aren't you? Well, I must be on my way."

I love the surprised look he gives as I vanish before his eyes, though he seems to be trying to hide it. I see him shaking his head back in the other world, and start to head towards the middle of Telmoord.

Oh dear! I was about to turn my attention away from this lovely little hamlet, but now that it appears that Zangulus and Zelgadiss are about to have a chance meeting in the town-square. I think I'll have to hang around and watch.

"No need to draw your sword, Zelgadiss. My quarrel is with Gourry and Gourry alone."

"How noble. This seems to be quite a long way from your new home in the Zoana kingdom just to pick a fight with someone."

"Perhaps one would consider this an extreme act to gauge one's abilities against another to prove superiority. I believe this simply re-enforces my resolve."

"I'm sorry, but something has been bothering me for awhile now; the fact that with your marriage to Martina you are certainly assured the throne of a kingdom someday. With this in mind, what could possibly be so important about defeating Gourry?"

"Despite your assumptions of my royal ambitions, I should have you know that the entirety of who I am was defined through my years as a bounty hunter. As a bounty hunter, my swordsmanship was unparalleled. Until I settle the score with Gourry and prove my worth as a swordsman, I will not be able to close this chapter of my life. Assuming the role of a monarch will not help me here."

"I see…"

"I've said too much."

"No, not at all. However, I'd better be getting back to the inn. It will be getting dark soon."

"Yes… until we meet again."

That was a remarkably civil conversation, considering the beast horde incident earlier today. I think I've gotten all the entertainment I need from the mortal world for now. Tomorrow should prove to be even more entertaining.

The objects of my recent obsessions leave for the ruins at dawn. They head eastward, leading them close to Ralteague country by midday. I've been peaking in on them from time to time, not out of concern for their safety, but because their journey is simply mind-numbingly boring to observe. I want to skip as much of the boring parts as possible and jump straight into the juicy. At last they have reached the ruins. I think I'll give them my full attention now. Oh look, I think Zelgadiss is going to say something…

"We've made it."

"Yeah."

…

Well, that was fiercely unsatisfying. I'll come back later once they've had some time to stumble through the ruins for a while.

Now here's something juicy. Lina and her lackeys are just getting finished fighting off a horde of wolf beasts. I think I'll drop in on Zelgadiss and see what he has to say.

"Well hello there! Has anyone ever mentioned that you look like a big, hard piece of man-candy, with those stone labs on your face?"

"For the love of god, did you have to teleport on top of me? Get off!"

"Xelloss! Now is not a good time for your annoying antics! Either help with the clean up of these furry freaks, or shove off!"

"Oh Lina, you know I couldn't possibly bring myself to barge in on your fun. Please feel free to vanquish these bestial foes in any way you see fit."

"GRRRRR!!! I know a way to take care of both our rash of wolf monsters AND our 'trickster priest' problem at the same time! Darkness beyond twilight, crimson from blood that flows…"

"Stop Miss Lina! If you cast the Dragon Slave here, you might destroy Mister Zelgadiss's only chance at becoming human again!"

Lina shows great resolve by not impulsively firing off the Dragon Slave. I'm sure her decision was not so heavily influenced by Amelia's pleas as it was by Gourry vanquishing the last of the beasts single handedly. I think its adorable how caught up Lina can get at seeing Gourry perform what he basically was born to do - whack anything that moves with a stick.

"With our canine problem under control, the only problem left outstanding is you, Xelloss. What do you want?"

"I just wanted to know how your quest for Zelgadiss's cure is going. Have you had any luck?"

"Gee Xelloss, you'll have to forgive my skepticism of the sincerity of your words, since you have a tendency to screw over people unless they happen to be unwittingly doing your bidding."

"Oh Lina, those are such harsh words! I'll assume such hate-speak is fueled by your frustration at not finding any leads."

"No, I believe Lina's words speak for the rest of us. However we have had no luck in finding anything that even remotely indicates golem research was ever conducted here."

"Hmmm, that's too bad. Oh well, happy hunting you guys!"

Once again, I take my partial 'leave' from the action.

"GrooooOOOOOOoaaaan"

"Gourry? Are you ok?"

"Leeeeeeeeennaa? Fighting those monsters…"

"Yes? What is it?"

"…has… made… me… hungry for meat pies."

"You are by and far the dumbest bipedal to have ever walked the… oh no…"

"Miss Lina! What's wrong?"

"Now that he's mentioned it, I'M hungry for meat pies, too."

I'm not quite sure what to attribute it to, but I swear both Gourry and Lina look incredibly emaciated right now. They look just as bad as any of the Ancient Dragons ever did in the concentration camps the Golden Dragons used to run oh so long ago. Maybe the power of Lina's magic is projecting their feelings visually. Lina never lets me down.

"Before I say anything else, I want to be the first to inform you that you both are incredibly pitiful."

"Feed… us… Zel…"

"With that said and out of the way, I want all three of you to head back into town. I can continue the search from here by myself. This curse of mine is something I wish to deal with on my own. I appreciate you all coming with me this far, but now its time for us to part."

"Don't say such things, Mister Zelgadiss! We who are part of the brotherhood of the Good and Just must stick together! Besides, I'll worry about you if you are out here all alone! What if another horde of nasty, stinky dog monsters comes at you! How will you shake them off all alone?"

"That doesn't paint the prettiest of pictures for me. 'Shake them off', ick."

"Don't change the subject! Please, let me go with you!"

Zelgadiss steps closer to Amelia and holds her left hand with his right, and touches her face with his left. This is almost mind-blowing! I think a cripple with a stub for an arm could count how many times I've seen Zelgadiss tenderly touch someone.

"Thanks for being concerned Amelia. I'll be just fine. You just focus on getting the fabulous duo of famine back to town, ok?"

While still caressing her cheek, he wipes away a tear with his thumb. I had no idea he cared for her that much. Actually, I'm surprised to see that he cares for anyone at all.

<sniffle> "Ok. But I'm holding you to your word that you'll be fine."

"Of course I will be. With my skin sheathed in stone, I can't possibly be in too much trouble around here. Take care Amelia."

With these parting words, Amelia-and-company head back towards town, as Zelgadiss continues to head deeper into the heart of the ruins. It will be interesting to see if he will be as impervious to harm as he claims. Oh do I love suspense.

I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but Zelgadiss isn't all that interesting to watch. When he's by himself he just looks heinuosly depressed. In the last four hours of his 'searching' he's managed to spend three of those hours sitting on various ruins and just brooding. I'll bet that when he was a teenager he spent many an hour alone, sitting in a dark corner, writing bad poetry while listening to Gaav music. It seems that his most appealing attributes are displayed when he speaks… speaking of which, it seems he'll have a chance to redeem these last four hours to me now!

"Zangulus? What are you doing out here?"

"Surely you must have an idea."

"Gourry, then?"

"Yes. The inn keeper said his party had headed off into this direction at day break."

"I hate to say this to you after you traveled all this way, but Gourry left with the others to head back to town several hours ago."

"What? Why! Was someone injured?"

"No no, I decided to continue the search on my own."

"Hmm. Well, if you haven't noticed, nightfall is rapidly approaching. I'll let you get back to your encampment."

"…uh…"

"Don't tell me you haven't even set up a camp yet?"

"No, I guess it slipped my mind."

"I expected more from the legendary Zelgadiss! I'm not sure what has you…"

"Zel."

"…what?"

"You can call me Zel."

"Alright… Zel. If you'd be willing to help me grab some more fire wood, then you would be free to share my camp with me tonight."

"I'd be honored to."

I think the term 'lighting a fireball underneath his ass' would be applicable to 'Zel' and his sudden burst of spunk. He seems to really be pouring himself into helping Zangulus set up camp and preparing food. Where was this vigor a few hours ago? Well, now that there has been some life breathed back into 'Zel's demeanor, maybe I'll enjoy a cup of tea and watch them eat their meal.

"This meal turned out rather well, considering the constricted time frame we were under to nab it."

"I'm surprised you were willing to each fish after fending off that horde of fish-beasts yesterday."

Yes, my thoughts exactly.

"Believe it or not, I was really craving a decent dish of fish until that encounter. Now I'm giving myself the chance to enjoy it. Besides, our options were rather limited in this location."

"Fair enough."

Oh my word! I can barely hear myself think over Zangulus's smacking. Oh, how nasty! Why isn't Zel saying something to him? Can't you hear it? It's simply dreadful!

"Zel, you mentioned earlier that you were going to 'continue the search'. If you don't mind me asking, what exactly are you out here searching for?"

"I heard the civilization that once dwelled in these ruins partook in rather extensive golem research."

"I see. So your intent is to see if there is a way to reverse the spell that made your skin as hard as rock."

"That isn't really the whole truth."

"Oh? You have some other intention for being out here?"

"Heh! I truly am out here to search for any possible sign for a cure to this curse. What I was referring to was the part about my skin being hard as rock. That isn't entirely true. These darker, protruding plates, like the one on my cheek, it is a fact that these are as hard as rock. Go ahead, give it a tap."

"That certainly felt like any other stone I've ever encountered."

"Right. But that isn't how the rest of my body is. The rest of my body is only impermeable. It almost feels like normal skin, and it is just as flexible as normal flesh. It's just that it is nearly as durable as stone. Here, touch my arm."

"I had no idea, but you are right. I can push on it like regular skin, and it seems to have the same give. And you even feel warm…"

Humph. That's quite a liberal touch-feast by Sir Smacks-A-Lot. With the level of intent he's given to feeling Zel's arm, I'm surprised he hasn't asked to find out how lil' Zel feels.

"Zel, I had no idea this is how your skin really felt. I thought your skin would be difficult to move in, as compared to normal skin."

"That seems to be part of this curse. Even if the appearance of my skin is nowhere close to the reality, no one is willing to come close enough to find out otherwise."

They both stare off into the coals of their fire for a while. I find it amusing that I'm watching the mortal existence in much the same way they are the coals. They see them grow brighter and dance with light spewing forth from inside them. This enchanting view draws them in, enticing them to try to manipulate the flow of the dance. The intermingling flames can be easily affected from above, whether it's by the nudge of a poking stick, the addition of fuel or by arbitrarily crushing them with their application of more wood. Even the most well nurtured coals grow steadily dimmer before the light fades completely away, leaving nothing but ash.

Even I'm starting to nod off.

"I think I'm going to turn in for the evening. Good night."

"Good night Zangulus. And thanks."

"For…?"

"For letting me stay here tonight."

I have a feeling that neither one of them is really all that tired. However I have no intention of watching them toss and turn for an hour before they finally admit to what I already know. I'll give them that hour and then drop back in on our new found comrades to give them a chance to prove me right.

One hour has come and gone and, lookie here, both of them are restless under their respective cloaks. I'll bet Zel declares the futileness of his endeavor first. Hah! There he goes, grabbing his poking stick.

"Zel, so you can't sleep either, huh?"

"I guess not. I just can't seem to let my mind drift enough to fall asleep."

"Yeah, I know how that is. If I don't get to sleep here soon, I'll feel like a zombie tomorrow. I'll be in no shape to take on Gourry."

"It might actually even out the odds. Since I won't be eating with them tomorrow, Gourry will probably gorge himself on whatever portion of my meals that he can wrestle away from Lina. That, on top of his already gluttonous appetite, is going to make him incredibly sluggish."

"Well then, perhaps I should give him an extra day to digest his newfound consumable happiness."

"That's entirely up to you. You seem to be running on your own honor system as it is."

"Heh, perhaps. Speaking of happiness, have you thought about what you are going to do once you can reverse the curse?"

"…"

"I apologize, perhaps I was too forward…"

"Don't be sorry. I guess I haven't really talked about this with anyone before, so I had to find the words for what it is that I've been looking forward to most."

"Go on. Don't let me rush you, then."

"Well, I guess, what it is that I miss, that I would want most, is to feel. I mean, to have someone next to me, and feel the warmth of their body up against mine. Without them feeling uncomfortable, or at least not giving me the impression that they are trying not to shy away from a monster, you know?"

"Hmm…"

"I want to be able to run my hands all over their body, to just try and soak up as much of them as possible. I, um, I'm terribly sorry…"

"Don't be."

Sweet mother of god, I just had to do a double take there. When Zel was getting overwhelmed by awkwardness, he went to grab his poking stick so he'd have something in his hand to provide some nervous relief. Right as he did this, Zangulus reached out and grasped his hand over Zel's. Oh my, now he just put Zel's hand underneath his shirt, right on his peck.

"Its ok."

"Uhh, I…"

"Shhh. Please, run your hands over my chest. I want you to do this."

"But Martina…"

"Don't think about anything else but how I feel underneath your hand."

Put me in a dress and call me Gourry. Look at him! He's caressing his peck! Now that dirty louse is grabbing Zel's other hand and bringing it to his waist! How dare he take advantage of Zel just because he's vulnerable right now!

"Hmm, that feels wonderful, Zel."

"I… I should stop…"

"Why should you stop?"

How much more forward can you be? He just drew up to Zel, clasped his face, and leaned in for a kiss! Can't you see the look of shock on his face? He doesn't like you like that. "No" means "No", you sick fuck. Oh, and now he's practically sitting in Zel's lap, pulling his arms around him for a tight embrace.

"Mmmm, your tongue is nice and spongy, just like mine."

"I… need… more!!!"

Ok, so maybe Zel DOES like him "that way". He just dove right back in to Zangulus's mouth, their tongues writhing against each other. Zel must have loosened up, too, because now he seems to have taken the reins off his hands. He's free-range groping Zangulus now, starting with his shoulders, running his hands down his arms, back up to his torso and down his flanks. Zel leans back and sweeps a ribbon of Zangulus's hair out of his face, and just gazes into his eyes.

"Do… you mind, if…"

"Zel, I want this to go all the way."

There is so much relief and joy in Zel's eyes. Even I'm overwhelmed. They each loosen each other's cloaks from around their necks. Zel seems to want to take Zangulus's shirt off, but he seems hesitant. Zangulus helps him along by sinking Zel's hands down into his pants, in an apparent gesture to get him to remove the shirt. The shirt comes off, and Zel leans in for a passionate kiss, running his hands up and down Zangulus's back. Zangulus is taking this time to start removing Zel's shirt. God, Zangulus is such a slut.

"I'm… I'm a little embarrassed…"

"There's nothing here to be embarrassed about. You have such a strong and well-defined body. You are in perfect shape! Besides, it's just you and me out here."

And me.

"Do you mind if… I take off your pants?"

"As long as I get to take yours off in return."

Zangulus backs up off of Zel, sits back and removes his boots. Zel moves in, touching each side of his lower abdomen and sliding his hands up his body. He leans in and meets Zangulus for another kiss, while letting his hands glide back down Zangulus's body. He hooks his thumbs onto Zangulus's pants at the curvature where the lower abdomen meets with the hips, and begins to slowly pull his pants away from him. Zangulus, always so helpful, thrusts his hips into the air to help Zel with the removal process. Zel seems completely enthralled with watching the gradual exposure of Zangulus's throbbing penis from beneath the pants. Zel, don't get too excited; it just looks bigger right now because he's pushing his ass into the air!

"Ahh!"

My my! Zel sure is spunky tonight! Before he even got Zangulus's pants past his knees, he's on top of him, taking the length of his member down his throat. Judging from Zangulus's moans, I'd say our boy Zel isn't too bad at giving head. Of course, Zel IS a quick learner.

"Zel, you'd better slow down, you want this to last, don't you?"

"Oh, most certainly. I want more…"

You don't know what you're getting into, young man. I can say I completely disapprove of anything that happens from here on out. Maybe I should make an appearance to cool these two raging studs off. I'd hate to see sweet Zel lose his cherry to some two-bit opportunist bounty hunter…

"I want you to take me, Zel. To come inside of me, to feel the pleasures of the flesh."

Well, I guess a boy's gotta get a piece of ass wherever he can. Go get 'em, tiger!

"But, are you sure? Won't it hurt? There's nothing around here to lessen the friction of insertion."

"Oh, but there is. While you've been cursed with golem-like skin, I've been enduring a curse of my own; the curse of a self-lubricating asshole."

"That's a curse? Who did that to you?"

"God. Or nature. Or whatever you believe in that causes birth defects."

"Wow. To think, there is someone in the world who can make their own butt jizm."

"Zel, I don't want to ever hear that term again. If you must refer to it, say 'self-lubricating asshole'. I'm less self-conscious about my 'condition' that way."

I think I can finally say, without a doubt, that I have seen and heard it all.

They both have stripped completely into the nude at this point. Zel's manhood turns out to look far different than I imagined. I was expecting to see some finely groomed pubic hair, but it turns out he's as smooth down there as a newborn's behind. Like I expected, he did have some of those 'protruding plates' on his genitals, but only as the head on his shaft and one on the front of each of his 'stones'. His head looks as smooth in texture as a well worn pebble in a riverbed, with the tip glimmering in the firelight like a wet stone from a little drool of semen. Deep down, I was expecting his shaft to be a little more 'ribbed for his pleasure'.

"For comfort, I think you should come in from behind. While I'm plenty lubed up as it is, please just ease it in."

"I was hoping for something a little more 'intimate'."

"You'll have that soon enough. For now, I want you to loosen me up."

Zangulus kneels down on their robes, places his hands out in front of him, and arches his back. He the reaches his left arm underneath him to reach for Zel's rock-hard prick, no pun intended. Zel positions himself in front of his exposed love hole, and passes his manliness off to Zangulus for a guided entry. While slowly caressing Zangulus's ass and lower back, he ever so slowly lets himself into him.

"Does this feel ok?"

"<gasp> Oooh yeaah, please keep pushing it in. Push it in all the way to the hilt."

"Mmmm this feels wonderful. You are so wet! I've just fully inserted, and I can feel your hot fluid running down my balls already."

"As far as curses go, it really isn't so bad, huh Zel? Ahhh! And your hardness is really paying off for me right now!"

What a fitly little whore. I'm glad Zel's going to be pounding him in the ass. Zel's getting into his grove, timing his thrusts while reaching down and around Zangulus's hips to stroke his protruding hardness. A thin rope of pre-cum is running down Zel's knuckles and sinking to the ground. Hey, I know what you are thinking, but this isn't voyeurism. When you're nearly omniscient, it's just hard to escape witnessing some things, that's all. Ooh! Zel's taking his other hand and beginning to finger his long black locks. Oh wow! Now he's wrapped his hand in the hair, and is really riding Zangulus! And Zangulus looks like he was made to be ridden!

"OHHH!!! ZELLLL!!!! AHHH!!! DDDDDON'T! STOP! DON'T! SSSSTOOOOPPPPPP!!!"

"Am I hurting you? I'm pulling out."

"Uh… huuh… Hey! I was… saying… 'don't stop'… not 'stop don't'… Whew! I'm a big boy, I can handle it!"

"I knew what you were saying, but that's not why I stopped. I'm serious about wanting a little more intimacy out of this. Would you be willing to lay down on your side?"

"Sure, like this?"

"Yeah."

Zel lies down behind him and slips his left arm underneath his neck and wraps it around his torso. He uses his right leg to prop up Zangulus's leg, effectively opening him up for Zel's penetration. Once he's eased his way in, he brings his right arm over Zangulus, and rhythmically takes his cupped hand and glides it across his aroused cock and along his contracted scrotum in a circular motion. Zel's fully enveloped by Zangulus, and he stays completely inside by gyrating his hips as opposed to thrusting. This seems to go on for hours, with Zel nuzzling Zangulus's ear and breathing in as slowly as possible into the back of his neck, to get the little hairs there to stand on end, just to titillate him and get him to writhe a little underneath Zel's grasping hold. From time to time Zel hugs him even more tightly, increasing the speed of his stroking and gyrations, and then settling down for a more measured pace.

If I were not mistaken, I'd say Zel is not just simply 'getting some' this evening. Zelgadiss is honestly making love, with all his heart.

"Ahhh!!! Zangulus, I'm getting close!"

"Pull out at the last second, and paint my back with your hot creamy load."

"Ahhh!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHHUURRRRRRGAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh that warmth is such a sweet feeling! Zel! I'm close, but I need more pressure! Can you put yourself back in?"

Zel's too out of breath to even say anything, but he does oblige. To maximize the pressure, Zel shifts his right arm over to lock Zangulus's leg against his own, and lets Zangulus take over the servicing of his staff. While Zel's thrusts get increasingly more powerful and erratic, Zangulus is frantically stroking himself. He finally comes; his chin stops the first of his jizm projection. The second spurt lands in his hair, followed by a few thick ropes of cum that criss-cross his abdomen. What?!? Hey, I observe! That's what I do! I'll have you know I'd damn good at it!

"Oh, wow. That was A-MAZING. Zel, I've never had… Zel?"

He passed out. He must have really thrown himself into it to just fall asleep, without any clean up or without even covering up. Or maybe he's faking it to avoid post-coital conversation with a lowbrow degenerate. I guess I can't blame Zel there. Regardless, Zel really did show a zest for life tonight. I feel better just seeing that look of contentment on his face right now. I think tomorrow is a perfect time to reveal where the secret is to rolling back his curse, now that he's shown me what he's capable of.

Zel was up at dawn. He dressed, rekindled the fire and cleaned up camp without so much as stirring Zangulus from his deep sleep. He gave him a peck on the cheek, a longing gaze, and then headed away from camp. I wanted to wait until he was alone, without the chance of Fucktard interrupting 'our moment'. You see there are two paths Zel can take today. One that will lead him to a magically manipulated pool that will free him from his stone-like flesh and leave him in human form, and another magically manipulated pool that will eat away at his stone flesh, leaving nothing but a bag of organs, bone and cartilage behind. Well! I'd say Zel is a lucky man to have a demon of my caliber on his side today. Speaking of being on Zel's side, I think now would be a good time to make my presence known.

"Good morning, sunshine! My, do we look cheery today."

"Xelloss?!? If its Lina and the others that you are here for, then you're wasting your time."

"Au contraire, my friend, but I am here to see you this fine day, Zel."

"Zel? When were we ever on such good terms that you could call me by some nickname? Whatever it is your scheming, you can keep me out of it."

"Oh? I'm hurt, Mr. Zelgadiss! Have it your way, but my business here today requires your participation."

"Did you not hear me before? I'm not willing to be your unwitting pawn."

"Hmm. That's troubling. You seemed to be such a willing person just last night…"

"What… what are you getting at? What would make you say such a thing?"

"I'm just saying you weren't always so reluctant to play with others, that's all."

"…"

"Oh dear, did someone get your tongue?"

"Xelloss, I don't know what you saw, but you are to NEVER breath a word of what I did, or anything I have ever done or ever will do, to ANYONE, EVER! If you do, so help me, we'll see how well your mouth would fare against a point-blank Ra Tilt! Now make your intentions clear and brief, you incorrigible fuck, or be gone from my sight!"

"Such animosity! Then as you wish, I will make this encounter brief. I have discovered the location of an enchanted pool in the midst of the ruins. I am certain that this pool was being used for golem research. Its location is j s ph h u a yu i…"

"What was that last part?"

"Silly! If you're getting deaf from all that Ra Tilting, then you should come closer! I said its location is just l h ph art gh…"

"I still didn't make that last part out…"

"Here, I'll say it in your ear. The location is..."

"Did you just try and suck on my ear? FUCK YOU! You are an absolute HORROR of a fiend! I don't know what you have in mind, but leave me at once!"

"Hmmph, if you don't want to be friendly than so be it. You can find the pool a half-day's travel west from the remains of the central coliseum. You'll know you are in the right place you see a ruined pandaemon temple next to a large pool."

"If you think that is some form of apology for your heinous behavior, then you are dead wrong. I said leave my presence! I don't want to ever see you again, under any circumstance. Did you hear me? EVER!"

Oh dear, what mean and hurtful things he's said to me. He must have at least respected my information, as he is heading in the direction I pointed him in. Oops! I was so stung by Zelgadiss's vicious allegations that I might have sent him off to the wrong pool. Hmmm, now that I think about it, I can't seem to remember which pool's which! You can't blame someone as old as myself for forgetting things. Even if I DID remember, Zelgadiss has made it quite clear that he doesn't appreciate my presence. Despite his sourpuss of an attitude, you must certainly see the thrills that 'participating' in the mortal coil can provide. Humans are always doing things to change the flare of their brief little lives, when they aren't so caught up in their flames to do each other. I don't expect Lina and the gang are going to be very exciting to be around here pretty soon; alas, but I must be moving on to find some other worldly theatre to help me feed this insatiable furnace of boredom that is immortality. Tah Tah!