Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ 7 Does ❯ women, a really hard subject ( Chapter 4 )

"I have to admit, this dress makes me look uber sexeh..." Créme was now at the Emerald Resort, checking out the beach and people that were lounging there. "Well, I better go and change into my swimsuit." Taking the "birthday gifts" that Rouge bought for her and went to the fitting rooms. After changing out of her clothes, she put on a bad two piece swimsuit, placed her things in a locker and stepped to the beach. You better believe that her swimsuit turned many heads... from both sexes. Wow, so many gawkers....

"Wow, look at you...."

Créme turned to see Tails coming up to her. I can't believe he's here. He's actually seeing me in my two piece..... the sexy doe started to get a bit hesitant.

"That's a come-hitter swimsuit." Tails said.

"Really, you like it that much?" asked a blushing Créme.

"Oh yeah. To be honest, I never thought you had it in you to put something like this on."

I'll take that as a compliment. "You don't say...."

"Come on Cream, you're usually all polite and proper and stuff, coming out with one of those kawaii swimsuits. But man, you really came out this time... in a sexy kind of way."

"Hee hee. Tails just called me Cream? Thank god he doesn't know what happened to me, that wannabe hooker Amy's actually good at shutting up sometimes. Since he doesn't know what happened to me, I'm gonna make sure it stays that way. So Tails, what brings you to the beach today?"

"Some R&R, you know what they say, 'All work and no play makes Tails a dull boy.' you know."

"I think you're a big boy."

"Say that again?"

"I said look at the big bouy over there." Créme had a sweatdrop on her face.

"Um, I don't think that's what you meant..."

Oh shit.

"...but then again, you probably haven't eaten anything like me. Let's go grab a bite to eat, my treat."

"Okay. Thank the gods for the change of subject..."

 

The two sat down and after a while, got their viddles. Tails watched Créme eat her salad while he actually had food in his face. "This is a definite first for you." said Tails.

"What do you mean by that?" asked Créme.

"Usually, you get a cheeseburger of pasta when we eat here, but salad?"

"Is there a problem with that?"

"No, I'm just a bit confused."

"I'm watching my weight, okay?"

"Why does your weight matter to you anyway?"

"What the hell do you mean by that? I'm watching my weight..."

"Whoa, whoa, what I meant was that your weight shouldn't matter at all."

You're starting to piss me off....

"It's like this Cream, girls onwadays are all weight conscious and when they get like that, they start to get fat and outta shape."

This of course angered Créme. "So I'm fat and outta shape now?!"

"Wow, you've been around Amy too long, some of her traits are starting to rub off on you."

"Well, I consider her my big sister."

"Yup."

"Even if she is a little slut."

"Say that again."

"I said my swimsuit is digging into my butt."

"Cream, what I meant earlier is that you don't have to be all weight concerned. I like you just the way you are, regardless. Even if your were a pudgy girl or a bit of a butterball, I'd still like you for you."

Nice save, Romeo. "Thanks, I feel better now."

 

"Besides, I don't understand why you girls get the salad instead of the pasta when they're both the same price anyway...."

"Tails, lemme preach to you a bit about women."

"Testify, I'm listening."

"Pay attention, you might learn something:

 

"Guys wonder why she orders a salad instead of a meal and they say, 'Come on baby, I'm paying for a nice dinner for the two of us. Eat some food for pete's sake.' or of some other variation like that. But what they don't get is that what she eats is a part of her sex life."

"....Go on. I wonder how many other guys are lost from what Cream said..."

"A woman's sex life walks hand in hand with many other things she does: Looking at herself in the mirror for prolonged periods of time; taking forever and a day to do her hair so it's just right; making sure she has a pearly white smile; fussing over what to wear; choosing to eat an entrée like salad instead of 'an actual meal' like pasta for lunch/dinner; even the question 'Honey does this make me look fat?' all are apart of a women's sexual nature.

 

"Remember, women have less seuxal fantasies, fewer times of masturbation, fewer time of intercourse then men will have in life... which is sad, but true. However, despite the fact that the previous things mentioned are boring, frivilous and complete wastes of time to men, but to us is as equally sexy as a man popping a boner."

"I have two questions based on what you just told me..."

"Shoot."

"One; Is a woman's 'vanity time'-"

"Vanity time?"

"When you're in front of the mirror for three and a half hours of the day."

"Oh, okay. I needed that cleared up, go on."

"Okay. If a woman's 'vanity time' is equal to a guy's erection, does that mean looking at your reflection in the mirror make you happy in the panties?"

Once again, Créme is POed. I'm gonna hit him...

"Two; If a woman orders salad instead of steak, does that mean she's having problems in the sack?"

What are you, asking to get your ass kicked?

"Wait, I came up with another question. If women looking at themselves in the mirror is equal to a man getting an erection, does that mean that men shopping for power tools equals a woman getting an erection?"

"I don't feel so well, could you get the check please?"

"What's wrong, was it something you ate?"

"More like something you said. My stomach's not happy with the dressing."

"Oh, all right. Check please!"

Tails, you're lucky I have a crush on you. Because if I didn't like you so much, I'd be kicking your ass all over this café.