Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ A Creils Story ❯ don't fuck with the Chaotix Authority ( Chapter 15 )

At the end of the week, Tikal paid a visit to Amy before the wedding rehearsal began. "You know, Cream really has great taste when it come to wedding colors." said Tikal.

"I agree," said Amy, "I love these colors."

"I like to wear red, it compliments my curves." said Rouge.

"Hey listen to this article in the paper." Tikal said and began to reeadA woman takes a clinic to court because she was inseminated to the wrong sperm."

"Wrong sperm, do go on..." Rouge perked up.

"Some lady, let's just call her, 'Popsicle whore Annie', came to the clinic in hopes of getting pregnant. She was inseminated with 'unwashed' sperm, which had protiens that made her uterus contract."

Amy and Rouge busted up laughing. "What's so funny, girls?"

"Popsicle whore, it's hillarious." said Amy.

"No, the idea of washing sperm." said Rouge. "How do you wash a guys jizz?"

"I dunno." Tikal answered, then continued reading. "She sued the clinic for medical malpractice and ended up with $400,000 in verdict money."

"Holy shit, that's a lot of money for malpractice." said Amy.

"I could buy a lot of jewels with that." said Rouge.

"My question is how stuff like that gets dirty?" asked Tikal. "Is it dirty upon release or once it leaves the cock...."

"No, I got a better one for you?" said Rouge.

"Let's hear it."

"To 'wash', or not to 'wash', that is the question? Whether it tis' noble in the jimmy as it is in the twat..."

The girls have another good laugh. "No, here's one for you." Amy begins. "A lonely nerd wanks off at his porn stash and decides to wash his cum by himself. 'No it's not clean yet...... no, it's still not clean yet..... it's still dirty..... why won't you wash properly?"

"That reminds me of a picture I saw on funnyjunk.com the other day." said Rouge. "Some company actually made a jizz cleaner."

"Come on, let's go before we're late for the rehearsal." said Amy and the girls got everything they needed and headed out the door.

====================================================

I would like to break for a moment to tell all of you that that event actually happened to a real woman. No her name is not Annie and she's not a popsicle whore, but she really got that much money from the verdict. Also, the website www.funnyjunk.com actually exists. If you don't believe me, just punch it up. Now with that said and done, let's get back to the story.

.......Oh yes, if any of you fellas out there (or anyone in general) know how to 'wash' sperm, please fill in the rest of of who don't know. I personally like my cum the way it is: ready for unloading on dem girly tits. ^_^

====================================================

At the rehersal, Cream met up with Robert and Passion there and they discussed everything here. Everyone was dressed into their normal attire right now, because everyone was getting ready to be introduced. "Okay, let's explain how this rehearsal's going to work, we're gonna get to know the rest of the people of the party, dress up and have everyone do all the walks and go through everything that will happen at the wedding." said Vanilla. "Hopefully everyone will be in check, ladies and gentlemen and everything will go along smoothly."

Robert looked at Cream's maides, Ah, Cream's party is so diverse. he thought. Geez, all of the maids have bigger breastables than my wife....

Cream looked at Robert's fellas, That's a lot of bucks.... Cream thought. It's true, Robert's best man and groomsmen were all some kind of rabbit.

Those groomsmen look kind of cute..... thought Tikal.

"Okay, introduce your Maidens, dear." said Robert."

"Hello boys," Cream began, "as you should know, I'm Cream, the one Robert's going to be marrying. I'm just gonna go down the line here, so just wave off as I intro you, my sisters. First off, This is my honor maiden, Amy..."

"Hi."

"and this is Tikal..."

"Hello."

"Barbie..."

"Hello mates."

"Fiona..."

"Hey."

"And not least to the groomsmen, Rouge."

"Hi sugars. Have you been a good boy, Robert?"

"Yes mam." Robert answered.

"You all right man?" asked Robert's best man.

"Rouge is the one who um.... bared her top to me."

"Oh..." go all of Roberts men.

"Anyway, to the other maides and the honor maid, I'm Robert. And these are 'The Boyz.' My closest buds and bretheren. First off, my best man, Tony."

"Hey."

"Next is Phil."

"Yo."

"Here's Jack."

"Hello, ladies."

"Val."

"Afternoon ladies."

"And finally, here is Jake."

"Hi you cuties."

"Okay, now that that's over with, let's move on." said Vanilla. "As you can see, Cheese will be the flower chao and Chocola will be the ring chao."

"Just as long as that brown chao stops humpin my leg, I won't have to smack the sense out of him." said Robert.

The groomsmen just laughed. "Stop whining, Chocola humps my leg too." said Cream. "I just haven't found a girlfriend for him...."

"Amy, what happened to Harmony?" asked Rouge.

"That's Cheese's girlfriend." said Amy.

"Well share her with Chocola."

"My chao ain't a whore."

"Harmony, chao chaooooooo." said a happy Cheese.

Amy smacked Cheese with her hammer, "You behave yourself."

"Well Jack, you and Amy have much in common already," said Phil, "you both like to smack the shit out of someone with mallets."

And Phil got planted, "Quiet you...." said Jack.

"We heard there was a wedding rehearsal going on here...."

The party turned to see a crocodile, an armadillo and an echidna heading this way. {now playing: Team Chaotix} "Well, it's good to see you guys made it." said Vanilla.

"Why wouldn't we?" asked Vector, "we were hired to be here."

"Yes, yes you were."

"It's nice to see all four of you here." said Cream.

"Four of them, I only see three." said Robert.

Suddenly, Espio appeared in front of Robert and "The Boyz", "Good, that means I can roam how I damn well please." he opened up.

"So what's with these guys?" asked Tony.

"Who are these guys?" asked Phil.

"CDA, Chaotix Detective Agency..." answered Vector, "and we'll be the enforcers of this wedding. And we do mean enforcers of this wedding."

"It's nice to see you guys again." said Rouge. "Wait, where's the bee at?"

"Charmy's on vacation with his wife." answered Espio.

Knuckles looked at Robert and his men. "Listen up you guys, cause I'm only saying this once." Knuckles began. "Me and my crew are going to make sure no trouble happens at all. We'll be all around the place, watching everyone... and I'm going to have my eyes on all of you. I don't know where the rest of the crew is gonna set up shop come the big day, but I'm gonna be sitting on the bride's side.

"There are only two times that my ass has to leave this seat: Once to see Cream walk to the altar and once to see the newlyweds walk away from the altar. If my red ass has to get up for any other unwanted reason, I'm gonna be kicking your ass, your ass, your ass, your ass, your ass, your ass, or all of your asses. If you fellas understand this, nod your head."

"The Boyz" nodded, except for Robert. "You don't intimidate me." said Robert.

"You got a problem with what's going down, moneybags?"

"Save your 'tough guy' routine for someone who cares."

Cream and her maids shake their heads. Poor choice of words, kid. thought Rouge.

"Hey fellas, we got another 'smart ass' to deal with." said Knuckles.

"I do believe we better have a talk with the groom." Said Mighty as he pushed Robert right into Knuckles.

"C'mon boys, let's step outside and have a word with the groom." said Vector and the men left the rehearsal area.

"Just so the rest of you know," Rouge began, "Knuckles and his Chaotix don't take to kindly for silly rabbits. Take it from me, I battled all of em'. So save the Trix for another time, you guys."

"Well, I'm gonna see what's up." said Val. "I'll be right--Whoa!" and a strong gust blew the rabbit flat on his ass next to his side of the party.

"We didn't say we wanted to have a word with you." said Espio. "So unless you wanna test your luck, you'll stand over there and look pretty."

Outside of the area, Mighty and Vector were standing with Robert. "This may be your wedding, but you can't 'cry' if you want to. You gotta follow certain rules." said Vector. "But I see you wanna play games, so we'll play a game with you."

"Oh really, a game you say?" questiong a coy Robert.

"You'll like it, it's called, Punching Bag." said Mighty.

"Really, sounds like fun."

"Good, I'm glad to hear it."

Before Robert can react, two sikped hands come from the ground and grab him by the ankles. "What the hell?" Robert was taken by surprize.

"Today, you're gonna be the bag." said Vector as he ad Mighty began carcking their knuckles. "This ain't the gym, so the bag isn't supposed to move."

"Hey Espio, we're gonna play Punching Bag, you want in?" asked Mighty.

"I'll pass," Espio answered. "But fill me in on when it's time for Target Practice."

"Sure, no prob."

"I'm not paying you to beat the hell out of me." said Robert.

"Of course not," said Vector. "I'm on the Vanilla Rabbit payroll, just like the rest of us. And we got payment for not only thie rehearsal, but the wedding as well."

"And she paid for the '3 B Special' bunny boy." added Mighty.

"We've been paid to bruise ya, break ya, and bleed ya, but since we're gentlemen, We're only gonna give you body shots today."

"I'm up first, bunny boy. The bad news for you is, I'm heavy handed like my momma."

And Mighty began with a swift punch to Robert's gut. If Knuckles wasn't holding him up, the buck would've bottled over on the ground. Mighty continued to rough Robert's body up. "Not bad, Mighty." said Vector. "Hey Knuckles, you getting in on this?"

"Do you have to ask?" Knuckles shot back. "You see, we're on a schedule, Robert. And should we go over schedule, it's coming out of your pocket, even if one of our hands has to reach in and take the money."

The wedding party just simply watched Robert get beat up. "They can't do that, someone stop them." said a worried Passion.

"Good, just as they're paid for." said Vanilla.

"What do you mean, 'just as they're paid for?' Vanilla?"

"The Chaotix are this wedding's enforcers, as I paid them to, they're enforcing the law on the party. It's Robert's fault the he decided to question those guys, so it's his fault that he's getting beat up."

Cream had a cheese grin smile on her face, which Amy saw right away. "Someone's finally happy." said Amy.

"Like my mom said, this is what Robert gets." said Cream. "And it's about time he finally get his just desserts."

"It's always fun to see those guys kick someone's ass." said Rouge.

"You said it." said Cream.

"Okay, I'm done beating the lunch from his stomach.... Vector?"

"Step aside Mighty, here comes the pain killer, or should I say, killer pain." said Vector.

"Killer pain sounds proper, Vector." said Knuckles.

"I thought so too."

"Mash em' up, Vector." said Mighty.

Vector cracked his knuckles a second time, "Now it's time for some bruisin." The crock decked Robert dead in the chest, knocking the wind out of the buck. He then proceeded to beat more crap and snot out of Robert. Cream was ecstatic with the way her husband-to-be was being handled. If only Tails were here to see this, he'd be clapping. she thought.

Robert felt like hurling, "Is this game over yet?" he asked.

"Not yet, Robert. Knuckles get his turn to rough you up now." answered Vector.

"Hopefully at the real wedding, you know better than to question the rules." said Mighty as he held Robert. "Okay Knuckles, it's you turn."

Knuckles emerged from the ground, giving an amethyst stare down to Robert. "Sally told me about how you decided to just up and shoot Tails like were a bat swooping out of hell." the red echidna told Robert. "You think you're real tough when you got a shotgun in your hands, a real man huh?"

"I gave him fair warning to leave my doe alone." Robert said. "But did he listen, no."

"Mighty, let him go."

"You sure about this, Knuckles?" asked Mighty.

"Very, even this asshole deserves a fighting chance against me."

"If you say so."

Mighty let Robert go, and Knuckles held the groom by the shoulder. "It's past time someone taught you a lesson about firearms, but then again, all I need are my stone fists." And with one left hook to his jaw, Robert got spun around.

"What happened to the body shots promise?" asked Robert.

"Sorry, I didn't hear that part."

Robert tried putting up a fight, but Knuckles mopped his ass up like water on a kitchen floor. Passion just watched in awe as her son was gettin beat up worse than he was getting roughed up. "It seems that knuckles is gonna give me that third 'B' after all." said Vanilla. "I know Mighty had to beak at least two of Robert's ribs and Vector tenderised him steak."

"And you did this to your son-in-law? How could you, Vanilla." said a POed Passion.

"Robert did this to himself. His 'Boyz' all nodded their heads, but Robert decided to be a 'foulmouth fowl' and challenged the Chaotix Authority, which of course is incredibly gutsy on Robert's behalf, as it is incredibly stupid. Robert will learn the hard way not to mess with these bruisers."

"That's not fair."

"On the contrary, Tails was roughed up even worse then Robert, so don't try to cry to me, Passion."

"But how could you do this?"

"Listen lady," Espio cut in, "we Chaotix have what you call a 'Zero Tolerence' policy. This is how we get things done around here. Now since you decided not to whoop your son's ass, we've decided.... no, they've decided to whoop his ass for you. If you wanna be a crybaby, take your ass to the nursery! Now if you wanna get dealt with, like your son chose to, please say so... 'Cause I don't mind turning you into a dart board for my kunai and shuriken. Otherwise, shut up and look pretty like the rest of the group on the groom's side."

Meanwhile back at the fight, Knuckles was beginning to glow red as Robert's dazed frame got up from the ground. Time to put this jackass jack rabbit in his place. he thought. And as Robert turned around, Knuckles landed with his famous finishing move; The Maximum Heat Knuckles, sending Robert flying backwards into a big rock. The impact was enough for Robert to go splat, but instead, the force sent the young buck through the rock, shattering it into twenty-five pieces. The wedding party cringed when Robert hit back first into the rock. "Ooh...." went the Boyz.

"And folks, Robert is down for the count, this boxing fight is over." said Rouge.

"He's not getting up from that hit." said Amy.

"Should I administer a standing eight count?" asked Cream.

"Not really."

Cheese and Chocola started humming the death march music.

"I'm coming, Robert." Passion ran towards Robert lay with shotgun in tote, but felt something prick her in the side of the neck.

Espio pulled the acupuncture needle he placed in the doe and she fell to the ground. "Sleep well you stupid fool." said the chameleon and retrieved the pump function.

Knuckles held Robert with his right hand and his left was ready. "Cream considers me as a big brother, and I'll be damned to have my lil sister marry off to some sissy rich boy who'd rather hide behind a trigger than his own fingers." said the echidna. "You're just some sissy chump that wasted my time being here at a rehearsal, but at least I got paid to kick your ass.... even though I'd have did it here today for free. Oh yeah, Tails wanted me to give you a message, 'Slap my nuts, you prick!'" And Knuckles came across with his fist, which of course slept Robert.

The rest of the Chaptix rejoined Espio who held the weapon. Knuckles took the weapon and bent it, turning it into a horseshoe. "Listen up you guys, cause I'm saying this once." the echidna began. "If anyone plans on bringing any carry-ons to the wedding, be prepared to have em' searched and/or taken. Because just like the hotel, you check your bags at the door. If you understand, nod your head." You better believe everybody nodded, even the chao. "This rehearsal's over, and if there are any objections, they can have words with my stone fists..." all was quiet. "See you at the end of the month... and fellas, learn from your boy'z mistake. Let's go guys, we're out of here."

Knuckles brushed off his shoulder and the Chaotix, all of them, left. Cream had a big smile on her face, happy with the way Robert was left on the ground out cold. Sometimes it not a good thing to be a momma's boy....