Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Chaos Within ❯ Chaos Within ( One-Shot )

TITLE: Chaos Within.

AUTHOR: Orin.

RATING: PG-13, simply because it's so strange… And kinda dark, I guess.

DISCLAIMER: Sega owns almost everything Sonic… Except when it is owned by the likes of Fleetway (As is that case here) or DiC or even *Gasp* Archie.

SPOILERS: YES! For events during STC's SA2 adaptation… Namely it's end.

FEEDBACK: Yes, but please be gentle - to - solaseireann@hotmail.com

PAIRINGS: None. None implied either… so don't go there…

SUMMARY: Sonic and Super Sonic are one for the first time in years. And in order to survive, Sonic must, for the first time, face a darkness within him, that comes from him, and that was brought into being by him. Based on events in the SA Fleetway adaptation…

This fic will be completely irrelevant for a lot of you; but for those who are familiar (Or fans even) of the Fleetway comic (Like me) then you'll know where I'm coming from with this.

You all remember the end of the SA adaptation, right..? Sonic and Super Sonic as one… Well, this sprung from being based on that. *Nods* This takes place right after Ebony springs that spell and unites Sonic and Super Sonic again.

There's a few instants where everything is unsure, and then Sonic returns to the fore. Well, I was wondering what went on in the hedgehogs head while this was happening. Completely out of the blue, I know… But I recently caught Rockchick's version of Running Wild here on F.F.Net.. And, as always, her adaptations of STC are dead on. And then there's the Point Of No Return as well… *Sigh* Wish I could write like that….

For those of you who don't know… In the Fleetway version, Super Sonic is basically an out of control maniac.

Sonic has no memory of what he does when in this form - and no control. (Hence the title, Running Wild) Sonic and Super were split into two different beings at the end of Running Wild. They stayed separate for quite a bit… Super Sonic eventually mellowing out and turning into quite a decent sort - with no memory of who he once was. (I'm skipping over an awful lot here - because there is an awful lot to skip)

Anyway, in the final story of the comic (Before the reprints took over *Sniff*) Ebony the Cat (A sorceress of sorts) fused them back together to one person - and for a while it looked like Super Sonic was the one in control. For a while….

But then, Sonic is the hero after all….

So this is from his point of view.

Incidentally, if you're not familiar with STC, then you could become quite lost in this… but anyway…

This fic is for Latifah-chan and Rockchick, since they've both inspired me with their STC fics in the past…

Latifah who had the courage to take up my fic as one of her own and make a better job of it, and who been amazing support in the past month - when I needed it most… (And she listens to me babble away - a maniac on a suger rush - like no one else can… Even named a character after me…) *Huggles girl*

Rockchick who continues to blow me away regularly with adaptations and breathtaking artwork (Aw Jaysus, she's one of those multitalented people…) and who actually took pity on me enough to host some of my stuff on her site… (Lol! Yes, the lady has a site to host all of her work…)

CHAOS WITHIN.

by Orin.

***************

Hate. I'm your hate.

I'm your hate when you want love.

Pay. Pay the price.

Pay, for nothing's fair.

Hey, I'm your life.

I'm the one who took you there.

Hey, I'm your life.

And I no longer care.

I'm your dream, make you real.

I'm your eyes when you must steal

I'm your pain when you can't feel

Sad but true.

I'm your truth, telling lies.

I'm your reasoned alibis

I'm inside; open your eyes.

I'm you.

Sad but true.

Metallica - Sad But True.

****************

Darkness… Blacker than behind closed eyelids at midnight. An impenetrable blackness.

A soft laugh drifts out of the darkness.

It echoes around me, resonating back and over, and back and over. It should fade, but it doesn't.

If anything, it only gets louder.

Laughter. The most cheerful sound in the world that you can hear, right? Healing, helping, happy, healthy laughter. Or course, people always laugh for those reasons, and they laugh for others too. There's nothing wrong with laughter. Never was.

Right.

So why does it grate inside my skull?

Because, not when it's this kind. Not when it's the derision and the contempt that colors this chuckling. Mocking. Laughing at me.

Laughing.

At.

Me.

Y'know, most people would turn around to confront this nameless, faceless critic. I mean, it's not exactly the most flattering gesture, is it? Once, I guess, I would've too. But now I know better. If I looked now, I wouldn't find anything lurking there. In the darkness.

But behind me...

Yeah, it would still be there, behind me. Always and forever behind me. Constantly behind me. It's always one step ahead of me too. It knows what I'm going do next. Because-

It's within me.

It.

Is.

Me.

Seeing a pattern here?

Good.

And, don't look at me like that. No, I'm not nuts. I'm perfectly sane… Well, most of the time. And really, that would depend on who you're talking to… Or what frame of mind I'm in. Or whose frame of mind-

I'm sane, okay? Trust me on this.

I guess if I had to think about it - which, if I'm honest about, I don't - then I'd imagine it to be something of a worm. Not like those harmless earthworms you see in the gardens. In the soil and the like. But something much more sinister. Black; bloated; defiled; burrowing inside me, feasting on me, a leech too deep to cut out.

I know, you're thinking this analogy is kinda nasty, aren't you? Well, nobody's asking you to read this. I'm telling it as I think it - or see it, as the case may be.

Because that's what it is; for me anyway. That's how it affects my life. If you prefer, I could think of it as a demon on my back, with talons digging deep into my soul. It's the same thing either way.

It waits, hiding in the shadows of my mind, in the deepest darkest recesses, where no light ever shines. It feeds on the suppressed anger and all the futile hate that I refuse to release. Waiting for just that-

A release. An escape.

And it does escape. Not too often, but too often for me. When it does, I can feel my essence slipping away, and it grows stronger for it. You'd think a parasite would weaken when it's host does. Not this. It thrives on my weakness. Exists for it even. And every day that passes, more and more of my life is touched - consumed - by this creature.

And as it sits in my head, in my mind, it invades it. It's got a lot more patience than I do. I know this from experience. It infects my thoughts, forcing the anger - the desperation to built….

And you just know the explosion's gonna rock your world.

Until it's free.

Just like that.

I'm still there though. For the most part, I can't remember what happens next. But I've been told often enough. So, maybe that's a choice on my end. From what I've heard, who'd want to remember?

Who'd want to?

It moves me about like a macabre meat marionette. Talks with my mouth - and not. Venomous words from my lips. I can still taste them; bitterness, even when it's in hiding again.

It's committed evils. That's the best word I can think of the describe it. Evils. I've heard they're indescribable. But I've heard them described.

Wrought in my name, because I am it.

And even when I try to contain it - the storm and the fury - it always takes me over eventually. Inexorably.

I'm Sonic the Hedgehog.

But.

Even I can't run forever.

*It, now? I'm just an `it'? I have a name, you know. You named me.*

How true.

"Yeah. I did."

Silence. Considering.

*Not a bad name as far as names go. Considering its source.*

Maybe he'll go, for a while, if I answer…

"Or for you... My own personal demon."

Sonic. Super Sonic. The name doesn't fit. Not at all. It never did. It doesn't tell you anything about the soul behind the name. But then, I don't think he has one. A soul, I mean. Super Sonic. Me, and not. But then, I wonder, if he doesn't have a soul, if he's just corruption and evil personified - and then, if he's me too…

Makes you think doesn't it?

Makes me think anyway.

But getting back to the point…. It was the wrong name for him.

But I chose it before I knew what he - I - it - truly was. Is. It's the wrong name. Chaos would have been better, because essentially (Or so Porker had told me.) that's what he is. It's how he lives; or what he lives on. That and havoc, or maybe anarchy. They'd all be better names, at least they fit more. Apt names for my own personal demon. Don't you think? I do. Chaos brought to my life; anarchy to my cause; death to my friends; disorder; panic; confusion.

Hate.

And then it's running wild.

But then, I guess you could say I would know something about that. You couldn't call me the most patient sort. Wild? I guess I'm a little. What can I say, I get impatient. It comes with being as fast as I am. And I am fast. The fastest. So then, everyone else has to be slower than me, by various degrees. It's a fair assumption.

Speed is my talent. It's a natural ability that I've worked all my life at. By running, I've gotten faster. By running, I've broken the sound barrier. More than once, in fact I do it on a regular basis. Clears my head. Leaves others behind. In the dust.

Speed is my power.

Speed is my price.

Power and price. Power with price. It's always the case. And there are times when I wonder what's really to gain. Is it worth it? For them to gain from it? For me to lose for it?

But then, it has to be.

*And as always, with you, the blame is on them. Of course… It has to be.*

Echoing me, and twisting things again.

*They are nothing. They did nothing. They are useless. I know who is responsible for your suffering. Want to know?*

"Get lost."

*I know the truth, because I'm the one to face it. When you hide, I stand tall. When you retreat, I cover your back. And I will show it to you. Either you die, or I'll have your soul. And you with it.*

"I told you-"

*Either way, you lose.*

Silence again…. I wait.

3.

2.

1.

Yep. There it is, right on cue. Laughter, scathing laughter, reverberating from unseen walls. It holds all the cards. We both know it.

And for the first time, I really get just how much stronger it is than I. It's taken me years to understand, and maybe this is because I never really got to experience the full brunt of its power. Those few encounters I had with it, I never stood a chance. Not really. It'd toy with me until it grew bored. It was only luck that kept me alive. Always luck.

It's so much stronger then me. So much more powerful. Super Sonic knows all my weaknesses - and I know none of its.

I don't even know if it has any.

Maybe it has none.

It's already claimed part of my soul. It wouldn't take much for it to go the rest of the way. Not now. Not with all the power.

But instead it gloats; playing, besides going for the kill. The same as it's always done. I don't have a chance. I never had a chance.

"I lose? Fine then! Quit gloating and finish this."

It doesn't answer right away. It's mulling over what to say. I can sense that surprised it. Point for me.

*You won't believe me.*

Have to do better than that.

"I will. I promise."

I'm sarcastic. It doesn't like it. I don't care.

*You'll deny it. Like you always do….*

Maybe I will. But then, this is new - for us - so I don't know what I'll do yet.

"Nope."

I sound so indifferent to my mind. How I've always managed to sound nonchalant when the world is crashing down around me, I'll never know.

It's quiet for such a long time that I begin to believe it's given up, or gone to leave me in peace and that maybe I can return to the world outside and maybe - just maybe - get on with my life. But then, good things never last, do they?

*All your miserable life, you have denied things. Denied the truth.*

I feel the faint urge to shout "Truth? I can't handle the truth!" but repress it as it goes on. The words, the tone, makes me listen. And I'm sorry that I do.

*Always such a devastating weapon against you… Truth.*

It's right. I know it. It knows it.

But it's only telling me this because it delights in tormenting me. And I guess it's become quite good at it too. Driving me nuts, you could say. It always knows exactly what to say to hurt me most. I used to wonder how, but now I know. It knows that the truth often has the sharpest edge of all. It bites deep, and it slices my protective illusions - or what I had left - my denial, to shreds.

*You know that what I tell you is the absolute truth, clear and undiluted for your diminutive mind. I do not tell you this to help you.*

I know. It wants my pain. Not my preservation.

And I suppose you could say I asked for this, Heck, I did - literally. But it's been a long time in coming. And I can't help but think that it's about time we did this dance - even as I brace myself mentally.

*You summoned me. You called out and I heeded your call.*

Truth. Even I can see that. Believe it or not, but I can see it. I called it first. In desperation and need, but I still called it.

*I gave you freedom*

What?!

"What?!"

*I gave you the freedom you dared not touch, the freedom to do anything.*

"No…"

*What you always wanted to do, but your petty `moral standards' had stopped you from achieving.*

"No!"

*I am freedom, pure freedom. I do not limit myself to the respect for the freedom of others. I have no limits.*

"NO! No, you're not-"

*I am and you know it. And you called me. You called me knowing what it was you were summoning. You knew - and you still wanted-*

"NO! Damnit, NO!"

I would never- I could never… I never would have exposed anyone to Super Sonic if I had known- I never called him knowing- I didn't! I wouldn't! I never called him! He came- He just-

*You wanted freedom, hedgehog. I am part of the deal.*

"This isn't freedom. This isn't freedom!"

*Oh, yes. For me, yes. Didn't you know that everything has it's price? Somethings just hide it better than others… What's the saying…? Ah! Be careful what you wish for… you might just get it!*

It's wild laughter borders on the verge of insanity, echoing back at me. For the first time I realize that it's my voice. Super Sonic speaks with my voice. It's laughing with my voice - twisted as it is, laughing it into a hellish cacophony.

*Oh, but it's not over yet! This is a deep game we play, you and me. Deep and dangerous. There are still a few more moves to make before I finish.*

Finish? What? This? Us?

Me?

I could never have called him. I never wanted this. Not this. How could anyone want this?

But if he is me - a part of me - the darkest part maybe - but if he is me….

Oh God…. What am I?

I can feel its growing excitement and delight as it climbs to a crescendo. And for the first time in this exchange, I am afraid. I don't want to hear anymore. I don't know if I can take anymore.

*I am you. And, as I am you - so too will you never be rid of me. I will always be you - in you - of you. Because I am you, and you are me.*

I knew this, to an extent. I even admitted it. But he - Super Sonic - he always denied it. He could never have been me - I'm too weak and all that. But… I can never outguess him - it - and he knows me. I guess that's how he knows me. But he always denied it. I did too, at least aloud.

Until now.

Now he says it. Tells me it's truth. And what? That it will always be like this now? That I'm stuck with- with , this!! Us!? Like this!? All I can say is -

"No."

*Yes. I am ashamed to be part of a pathetic, weak creature such as you, powerless and spineless! You created me.*

Again, all I can think of to say is-

"No."

*You created me by suppressing everything, denying everything. And one day, one day you wished for freedom, and I crawled out of the depths of your soul.*

"No."

*The keenness of two alike is all that we have in common. We are far too similar in even that for my liking. As a reflection in a mirror is similar, thought here, totally opposite. Like a shadow, a dark reflection. That is what I am.*

No.

Not said. I'm tired to denying it to him. But I can deny it to myself. I could always deny it to myself.

*But the mirror was your creation.*

Silence.

Then.

"Yes."

A laugh from him. Not it. Not anymore. Him - he is me, right? So it has to be `him'.

*All the thoughts, desires and feelings you repressed gave me form, and substance. I fed from the lies you fed yourself, and I grew powerful on your pitiful delusions. I have grown strong. Stronger than you now. And I will consume what is left. Ebony had the right idea in what she did. What better way to end your existence than to have you become me?*

Super Sonic… this creature… this malicious doppleganger, this rogue part of myself… I've always believed him to be evil. I mean, the things he's done. Almost done. And he's done them without remorse or pity. I- Could I ever be like that…?

If I lose this, now, and if he consumes me completely, then there'll be nothing left. That's what he wants. It's what he's always wanted, I think, even when he was trapped deep in me, scrabbling to escape… If I'm gone, he'll win. He'll be like some ferocious animal, uncaring, unthinking, surviving by the instinct of hate, separated from any higher thoughts of mind. And he would be me too, to an extent, right? I would be this, with all the reasoning of blind malice…

When he wins.

No.

If he wins. Only if he wins.

Resolve spreads through me at that single thought, like ice, weak at first, but gradually increasing in strength. I can't unleash this abomination into the world again. I will not. A monstrous rebirth, a dark ascension - I will die first before I allow that to happen.

But he is so much stronger than me… So maybe it would come to that either way. He still holds all the cards. In being me, he knows all my weakness. He's showed me that. There's no way I can win this… And there's no way I will let myself lose.

But I don't know how to win this. He is me so- Wait a minute. He's me. He is me. I am him.

It's a chance… But it's my only chance, and my last card to play. If I lose this, winner takes all. I know I have to try.

"If I'm gone, Super Sonic, then so are you. You are me."

A snarl of defiance in the dark.

*No, fool! I will consum-*

"Think about it!"

My interruption causes him to fall silent - finally. That guy can go on a bit once he gets started. Slow down Sonic, do this more carefully.

"Think about it. You think you're strong?"

*I am strong! Stronger than you! You-*

"And all your strength depends on me! You were separate from me for a while, and what happened?!"

Silence.

"You grew weaker. It took a bit, but it happened."

Nothing to say? Good.

"You grew weaker and weaker, even to the point of dying - Ebony told us! You didn't have me. You screwed up on that one point. You act like the predator, and you die like one. Helpless in the end; with your claws clipped."

It's his turn to deny.

*No…*

Is that the best he can do?

"You won't survive without me. If you consume me, I'll be gone and you know it. And you can't survive without me. You need me."

*Lies! You lie! I need no one!*

"You need me. This game is over. You'll die before you have the chance to win."

Nothing.

And for what seems like hours, there is nothing. No sound. No light. Just this eternal silence. Darkness. But he's not gone, I can still feel him - the thorn in my side, still piercing. He's not gone, and for the first time, I'm beginning to get that he'll never be gone. He is me.

Quietly.

Softly.

*It seems we are at an impasse.*

If I could smile, I would. He tells me this and I know he understands. He claimed to be invulnerable, but I've found a weakness. It took me speaking in a language Super Sonic truly understands - strength - for him to get it. But he gets it now.

*So… you've discovered a flaw in me. You still cannot defeat me. You can merely make an ending. And even though we've reached a stalemate, I prefer it to losing all…*

There's something new to his voice… Desperation and concern leaks through for the first time, and I know my stinging strikes have hit home. I'm taking the ultimate gamble with this… But then, I've always been a player. And what better way to live, than on the ice?

"You don't want to lose. Neither do I. But if I have to, I'll end this now. Everything. If I have to, I'll end it all. I won't surrender to you."

A short breath later I hear his reply.

*You know… that's the first time you've reminded me of myself…*

Maybe… But he's not willing to kill us both as a way out of this. I am. I will.

*So, what happens now? How does the game end?*

I can all but see the almost-smile. He's mocking me, I know. And, for once, I don't care. Because this is it. Win or lose now, there's no going back.

"The game is over. A new game is beginning. We work together, not a cross purposes - at compromise. We both get something we want - life. Equal shares. No squabbling for the whole, happy with what we have."

I'm lying. I'm lying through my teeth, and completely straight faced. No one is ever really happy with what they have. I've never been. Under Robotniks rule, I wanted to be free. Free, I wanted the action of being a rebel again… I was never content.

*Are you proposing an alliance?*

Super Sonic sounds incredulous. I'm not surprised. Not really. If anyone had told me an hour ago I'd be doing this, I'd have told them they were completely batty. I don't tell him this though, maybe he already knows.

"Yeah. Why not? You said yourself; we're one and the same. We could go, as we were, not enemies, but one. A blending of light and shadow-"

He interrupts me, sounding strangely thoughtful.

*Chiaroscuro…*

Eh? Chiaro-what? Then.

*Agreed. *

And at that simple acceptance, peace runs through my mind like water, cool, relaxing, soothing.

Acceptance. Accepting each other for our virtues - yes, even he has some - and our flaws - which I don't have, mind you. I can feel us `overlapping'. From this new perspective it's fairly easy to see all those similarities I missed before. I wasn't aware there were - are - so many.

I never knew I was so like him…. He, like me.

Yeah. Right.

Who am I kidding? Of course there would be some. I `am' him, and vise a versa. Of course, this could be the `Super' in me talking. Never know.

I guess this is just something I'll have to get used to. But I can do that. Heck, for all I know, this was meant to happen. Splitting apart, then being forced back together. Maybe it's some cosmic-karmic-backlash for something I did in the past. And I've done enough things to warrant it.

Don't tell anyone I said that.

Really.

But I don't think so. Not truthfully.

After all, I never believed in destiny. Fate is what me make of it; and we forge our own future through step we take… See, way I figure it, this thing - life - it's a journey to who we will be in the end. And though I'm the type who can never help but ask `Are we there yet?' now and then along the way… I can wait for this. For who I'll be - we'll be.

I can wait.

And, in the meantime; I can live with this. I guess I'll have to… Because he's not gone. Super Sonic is still there. Maybe he's waiting, maybe he's actually content for now.

But he is me.

And I was never content…

*************

*FINI*

*************

O______o;; Can anyone say `strangeness abound'?

Sonic; *Glaring* "I can… And I could add to it too."

Orin; "I was talking to the readers."

Sonic; "Psch! Fine then, ignore me! It seems to be the running theme of this fic anyway."

Orin; "Ah, Sonic… The entire thing was about you."

Sonic; "No. It was about him."

Orin; "Who?"

Sonic; *Scowling* "Don't make me say it!"

Orin; "Fine…" *Sighs* "Look, Sonic… You were the center of this fic…"

Sonic; "I was the sap in this fic."

Orin; *Trying not to smile* "No… You ascertained your right to exist though reason and argument, quite smart really…"

Sonic; "Yeah. And not an ounce of action to be seen… Like I said `sapness abound'."

Orin; *Trying - rather desperately - not to giggle* "Is that even a word?"

Sonic; *Looking miffed* "I don't know! I don't care!" *pauses* "You also made me look like a schizophrenic."

Orin; *Giggling aloud at this stage* "Um…"

Sonic; ¬___¬ *Glaring* "Aren't you even going to deny it?!"

Orin; *Laughing* "Umm… Nope?"

Sonic: ¬____¬ "I hate you."

Orin; *Pats him on the head* "I know you do." ^______^

Sonic; *Sigh*

Um… yes this was strange… Did it all in one go, I did. Took me a bit though. I dunno if I pulled it off. But I like how it is, so it'll stay that way. My first attempt at an STC fic since my stuff got wiped out, and my first ever attempt at Sonic/Super Sonic interaction.

Ominous ending…? Of course. ^___^

Hope you like it…

If not… then… Sod off?

O___o;;

Take care anyway,

Orin