Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Commercial Collection ❯ Coke Commercial ( Chapter 1 )

“Knuckles!!!!!” roared a pissed off director. “What the hell are you doing?!”

 

“Well,” said Knuckles. “How do you expect to sell a product that has drugs in it?! Have you read the bottle? C-O-K-E! You can't sell this to kids, or anyone for that matter!”

 

“You idiot!” screamed the director. “Coke the drink, not the friggin' drug!”

 

“Oh really?” Knuckles asked suspiciously. “Then how do you explain this?” And he took the bottle and turned it so that the back was faced towards the director, and shoved it in his face. “Read the ingredients.”

 

Knuckles stood there for a minute as he saw the director's eyes move slowly across the paper; Knuckles took the bottle and conked him over the head with it.

 

“Out loud, you moron!” he yelled.

 

“You never said that!” the director yelled back.

 

“Well, I did now!” Knuckles shouted. “Now… READ!”

 

The director heaved an annoyed sigh and started to read:

 

“Carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosphoric acid, potassium benzoate (to protect taste), natural flavors, citric acid *breath* caffeine, coke… syrup?” he said.

 

“AH HA!” Knuckles exclaimed. “You see? COKE SYRUP! It says right there on the bottle!”

 

The director rubbed his temples.

 

“It says CORN SYRUP, DUMBASS!”

 

“But you're the one who said `coke syrup!'”

 

“I didn't have my glasses on!”

 

“Well where are they!”

 

“You knocked them off when you shoved that bloody bottle in my face!”

 

“Well why didn't you get them then?!”

 

“You were holding me down in the friggin' chair!”

 

“Whatever…” Knuckles mumbled.

 

“ARGH! Just read the cue cards! Read what's written, NOTHING else, got it?!”

 

Knuckles grumbled to himself for a minute.

 

“Fine!” he said.

 

“Thank God…” the director muttered. “Okay, aaand ACTION!”

 

“Are you bored with your daily life?” Knuckles started. “Then just get high on the drugs in Coca-Cola!”

 

“CUT! There are no drugs in Coke!”

 

“COKE IS A DRUG!”

 

“There's NO DRUGS in this soda!”

 

“Anymore,” the cue card man piped up.

 

“Whaddya mean `anymore'?” Knuckles asked.

 

“Well, Coca-Cola used to be made with drugs.”

 

“Used to, huh?”

 

“Yeah!”

 

“Yeah, huh?”

 

“YES! Now stop repeating everything I do and say!”

 

Then the cue card man, getting pissed at Knuckles repeating him in everything that he does, grabs a knife and slits his own throat. Knuckles grabs a knife and is about to do the same thing until the director grabs his wrist and pries the knife from his vice grip.

 

“We won't be doing that today, Knuckles.” Said the director.

 

“Then how come he did it?” Knuckles questioned.

 

“Just, never mind that,” said the director. “Let's just do the commercial.”

 

“Um, actually…” Knuckles muttered. “I can't go through with this! I don't want to die! I quit!”

 

The director looked at him in disbelief and rolled his eyes.

 

“Fine,” said the director. “You're dismissed. But never come back here again, you hear?!”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Knuckles mumbled. “I hear ya.”

 

And Knuckles walked out of the studio to run into Shadow.

 

“What the hell are you doing here, echidna?!” Shadow asked.

 

“Oh,” Knuckles responded. “I just quit from my commercial job. Good luck, that director's a dick…”

 

And he pushed past Shadow, laughing.

 

“Oh come on Knux,” he said. “I'm sure he's not that bad.”

 

10 seconds later

“What the hell are you doing?!”

 

“Yeah,” Knuckles said to no one. “He's gonna have fun…”