Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Fear ❯ You Wouldn't Understand ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Sonic shivered as the words played in his head.

"I will never be like you, Shadow!"

He lay on his bed, miserably staring at the ceiling. He was like Shadow now. Filthy, filthy Shadow. Sonic shivered again, but the tears wouldn't come. No matter how much he hurt, they wouldn't come. He felt empty. There was a knock on the door and Sonic put on his façade, going over to open it. Knuckles stood there, staring steadily at him.

"Hey, Knux! What's up? Did Eggman steal the Master Emerald again?" Sonic asked, eager to have a distraction from the crushing guilt and pain.

"Eggman, no. But the Master Emerald wants to see you."

"The Master Emerald…wants to see me?" Sonic asked slowly. "I didn't know an emerald could want anything."

"The Master Emerald is special, Sonic, you know that."

"Yes, because you say it's special. But you never say how special."

"She says it's time for you to know."

"She?"

"Just come to Angel Island, Sonic."

"How far do we have to travel?"

"Forty miles or so. That way."

"Alright. Let's go see the Master Emerald then!"

Sonic began to run at a moderate pace that Knuckles could keep up with. Sonic didn't believe that the Master Emerald wanted to see him. He didn't believe it was a she. Knuckles clearly wanted his help with something, and he was much too proud to admit it. Yeah, that sounded about right.

It only took half an hour for them to get there. They stopped beneath the edge of the island and Sonic looked at Knuckles.

"What now? We don't have a plane."

Knuckles stared at him. "How do you think I get up and down?"

"I don't know. Never did figure that one out."

Knuckles folded his gloved hands together and knelt down. Suddenly, green light enveloped them and Sonic found himself staring at the Master Emerald. Knuckles stood and nodded at the green jewel. Sonic blinked.

"How did you do that?"

"It listens to prayers. I am a guardian; therefore, it listens well to me. Respect is key, though. It is a very powerful relic, after all. It listened to hers, and now she is trapped with Chaos."

"What?"

Knuckles stared. "Not until you talk about what's bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me," Sonic said defensively.

"I checked around for two days. You've basically disappeared. Even Tails hasn't seen you around very much. Everybody's concerned about you, but you act 'normally' every time somebody comes to see you, then you go back to hiding. You're upset about something. And since you don't worry about anything, I know it's something big."

Sonic couldn't find the right words, so he shrugged and stared at the green gem. It was quite alluring today. He wanted to touch it, but he had learned the hard way that Knuckles wouldn't allow him to. He had never shown how bruised and sore he'd been, but Knuckles hit like a bullet train going along at full speed crashing into a wall. Even with his high level of pain tolerance and his super durability, Sonic had hurt for a week when he'd dared to touch the Master Emerald the only time he hadn't been saving it.

"Hungry?" Knuckles asked.

"Starved," Sonic said with a smile; he wasn't really, but he should have been as he hadn't felt the urge to eat in four days.

"Do you care what you eat?"

"Not really."

Knuckles again knelt down and folded his hands. Food appeared on the ground before them. There was quite a bit. Sonic sat down and grabbed a slice of pizza. The first bite made his stomach scream at him and he greedily began eating anything he could get his hands on. Luckily there was a large plate of chili dogs. He polished them off easily. When he was full for the first time in a month, he took a large mouthful of a strange drink, swallowing and sighing. When he looked back up, he froze. There was not one, but two sets of eyes staring at him.

"Sh-Shadow?" Sonic asked in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"She said I needed to be here."

"She?"

Shadow pointed at the Master Emerald.

"It's an emerald. It can't want, it can't talk."

"Says the hedgehog who just ate food conjured by the emerald," Knuckles snickered.

"Food is one thing, sentience is another."

Knuckles snorted. "You need a lesson, Sonic. You sound like Shadow did."

"I wasn't as skeptical. I do have the Chaos Emeralds to compare it to. Sonic's never connected deep enough to feel it," Shadow said quietly.

"He will have once M.E. and Tikal get done with him," the echidna said with a nod.

"What are you two talking about?" Sonic demanded irritably.

"I'm going to let you do something, Sonic. Something you've never been allowed to do outside of necessity," Knuckles replied.

"What?"

"Touch the Master Emerald."

Sonic blinked. "You're joking, right?"

"No, Sonic. I'm not joking. But you'll have to take off your shoes and your gloves."

Sonic balked. Now while they didn't all wear clothing like humans, all of their kind wore gloves and shoes. It was considered super personal to take them off in front of others. And now Knuckles, the one who was constantly telling him how they weren't friends, was asking him to do so, and with Shadow, the hedgehog who was definitely not his friend, watching.

"What do you take me for?"

"Just do it, Sonic."

"No! Why should I do it when you don't?"

"Who said we weren't going to do it, too?" Shadow asked.

"You…you will?" Sonic asked, analyzing them as they nodded. "Fine."

Sonic pulled his knees up and began to remove his shoes. He rarely took them off, even when he slept. The feeling of air hitting his feet, which were sensitive because they were never bare, made him shiver. He looked hesitantly at his gloves. His hands were extremely sensitive, too, without the thick material covering them. He swallowed then slid them off, setting them beside his shoes. The only person he'd ever taken his gloves and shoes off for was Tails, and that was only when he was hurt.

"You don't do this often, do you?" Knuckles asked.

Sonic looked up, shaking his head. The other two had bare hands and feet. There were rings on Shadow's wrists however.

"You not gonna to take those off?" Sonic asked.

"No."

"What are they, anyway?"

"Inhibitor Rings," Shadow replied. "They contain my Chaos Power. I tire easily without them even when I'm not using my Chaos Powers, just from the strain of keeping my power inside. When I use my power, I can overexert myself easily. I only take them off in extreme emergencies."

Sonic stared. "That's it?"

"What's it? I'd say that's a damn good reason not to take them off," Shadow growled.

"No, no, not that. I completely agree with that."

"Then what, Blue Boy?"

"You told me that."

"Yes."

"Without any prodding."

"Yes."

"But you're Shadow."

"Yes."

"Would you stop saying that!" Sonic exclaimed.

"Tell me your point and I might."

"You're the big mystery! You're more enigmatic than Rouge! You never give any information about yourself to anybody! So why did you give it to me and Knuckles?"

"Actually, I already knew that," Knuckles said with a shrug.

"Since when did you two become friends?" Sonic demanded.

"Since about a year ago," Shadow replied lazily as he ate a piece of cheese pizza.

"Why? I mean you two don't seem to be…you know, compatible."

"We're not compatible with you, either," Knuckles said, "yet here we are."

Sonic snorted. "You gonna answer my question?"

"She wants us to be compatible. She usually gets what she wants," Shadow said, shrugging. "I find it's useless to fight. Now, you gonna answer Knuckles' question?"

"What question?"

"It was more of an implied statement, Shadow. I haven't actually asked the question yet," Knuckles said, sipping on his drink.

"Fine. I'll ask it. What's bothering you, Sonic?"

"Nothing."

Knuckles and Shadow looked at each other then stood, each holding out a hand for Sonic to take. After staring at them, he hesitantly took them. The feeling of fur on fur made him shudder.

"Just to be perfectly clear, we did ask you," Knuckles said as they pulled him to his feet.

Knuckles didn't let go of his hand when Shadow did. Instead, he guided the bare hand to rest gently on the large green gem. The echidna's hand lay over half of his, while Shadow's hand settled on the other half. Sonic stood there for a moment, confused to why nothing had happened, then screamed as power shot up his arm and down to the core of his being. He tried to pull away, but Knuckles and Shadow easily held him down. Sonic was trying not to drown in power as a connection was established.

"Hello, Sonic," a delicate female voice said.

"W-who are you?" Sonic asked weakly once he'd found his voice.

"I am Tikal. I am here with the emerald, but we are not the same being. I am the 'she' that Knuckles and Shadow refer to. I have a unique connection with the emerald that allows me to give voice to its whims and wishes, its thoughts and information."

Sonic swallowed. "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to talk to Knuckles and Shadow. Become their friend. Lay your burdens upon them. They will understand."

Sonic tried to say that nothing was wrong, but the words caught in his throat and began to choke him. He finally stopped trying to say it and descended into a coughing fit.

"Do not lie to us, Sonic," Tikal said sternly. "We know how much it is hurting you. Shadow and Knuckles went through the same thing. Knuckles went through it alone, with us as his only comfort. We sensed Shadow's pain and brought him to Knuckles to help ease him. It is now your turn."

"Oh like they would understand?" Sonic spat.

There was no verbal reply this time. Instead, warm pulses of power caressed him gently, encouraging him to talk. He flat out refused.

"Very well, Sonic. Barring an emergency, you will stay on this island with Knuckles and Shadow until you speak of this thing. Understand?"

"You can't control me like that, freak," Sonic muttered. A flush of power slammed into him and he yelled, dropping to his knees.

He jerked his hand off the emerald, holding it to his chest. That was the weirdest thing he'd ever experienced. There was a person inside of the Master Emerald? A female. Named Tikal. He shuddered. He knew it disapproved of what he'd said. He could sense a scolding feeling hovering on the edge of his mind.

"You shouldn't talk to her like that. M.E. doesn't like that," Knuckles said, his hand now flat on the gem. Shadow's was the same, though the dark hedgehog stayed silent.

"Was she always in there?" Sonic asked shakily as he stood.

"No."

"What happened?"

Knuckles went as silent as Shadow, and the two stared hard at Sonic.

"What happened?" Sonic demanded again.

"We could ask the same of you," Shadow said quietly.

"Nothing happened!"

"Then I'll get you a bed ready," Knuckles said.

"What?"

"You heard Tikal. You're not leaving the island until you talk about it. So I'll get you a bed ready."

Knuckles hurried off on his task and Shadow stepped down to Sonic's level.

"The longer you resist her call, the worse off you'll be. You'll become more miserable by the day. I suggest just getting it over with."

"I'm fine. Nothing happened," Sonic said stubbornly.

"Suit yourself," Shadow said with a shrug then went back to the food and resumed eating.

Sonic soon found himself being driven up a wall as Shadow's prediction proved to be true, and he didn't know why. The food was great; he got whatever he wanted. The atmosphere was peaceful, yet there were many new places to explore, so he wasn't bored. Even the company was pleasant, which was a total surprise. So why was there a constant, nagging feeling that he should talk about what was bothering him? After two weeks, he finally could stand it no longer, but how to broach the topic?

They sat around a fire, making S'mores. Sonic finished his third one then leaned back on his hands. He looked away from them, though they were busy talking to each other and didn't notice. What to say? How to admit it?

Tikal's soft voice floated through his mind. "Just say it."

Sonic swallowed and spoke, his voice devoid of any emotion. "I accidentally killed somebody."

The silence was thick.

"Really?" Knuckles asked after a long minute, sounding extremely surprised.

"She wasn't joking when she said we both knew what the pain was like," Shadow murmured.

Sonic looked at him then turned to Knuckles. "I knew Shadow had killed before, but you don't seem to be the kind of person to kill."

Knuckles' face hardened. "Mine was as accidental as yours, Sonic."

"What happened?"

"I hit them too hard. They didn't get back up," the red echidna said, staring into the fire. "I didn't know my own strength back then. I was only seven. I was...devastated. I thought M.E. and Tikal wouldn't want me anymore, so I tried to jump off the island."

"And?" Sonic asked hesitantly.

"I was teleported back in front of them. Even after they explained that they weren't angry because it was an accident, it took me a couple years before I truly believed it. Those were hard, lonely, painful years."

Sonic nodded. "If it's anything like what I've gone through the past two months, I understand." He paused. "If you don't mind me asking...how many?"

Knuckles closed his eyes and tears shone at the corners in the firelight. "Five. Four men and one woman. They touched it. They wanted to take it. I saw red. I hit them all once, as hard as I could. At first..." His voice broke, and his gloveless hands squeezed into fists as more tears slipped down his cheeks. "At f-first I didn't realize what I'd done. I yelled at them to get up and fight some more. I never knew humans were so...delicate."

"I did," Shadow said in a low voice. "Maria was like a wisp sometimes when her disease took over. I bruised her a lot at first. I learned quickly to be gentle. Only when she was on the other side of the training room glass did I explore my strength and powers."

Knuckles nodded, but Sonic was confused. "I heard you mention her once. Who exactly is Maria?"

"…Was."

"What?"

"You mean, who was Maria."

"Was…So she's…dead?"

"Fifty years ago. A GUN soldier shot her. Right in front of me. She sacrificed herself for me then sent me down to Earth." He paused. "I'm conflicted about what happened. I don't feel regret, but I know Maria would never have wanted me to kill."

"Who did you kill?"

Shadow looked up, the fire reflecting in his red eyes. "I don't know their names. I know how many."

"How…how many?"

Shadow's gaze was unwavering. "Twenty-two."

"Twenty…"

"Yep. All of them male. GUN soldiers. When I woke up they were hauling my creator away, but all I could see what the blood staining Maria's shirt, right in the middle of her chest. I broke the first man's neck. They started firing on me, but it didn't matter. I'm bulletproof. Their weapons weren't advanced enough to hurt me. I'm not sure what happened after I killed number twenty-two. I think they pushed me into electrical wires that had come loose when the escape pod had crashed. All I know is I lost consciousness. When I woke up…I saw Eggman. Fifty years had passed. I didn't have much time to dwell on it in the chaos that followed with the ARK.

"When I woke up back on Earth, I had no memories of Maria except of her being shot, so I didn't feel any remorse then, either. Then Black Doom comes and I regain my core memories as I go along on that journey. I've been remembering things ever since. Once I remembered Maria's plea, I began to feel…guilty. I can, even now, remember each time the life left a man's eyes. Maria would be crushed. Knuckles and M.E. and Tikal helped me get through that. So…that's my story."

"Getting it out of you was like pulling teeth," Knuckles grumbled.

Shadow chuckled then looked back at Sonic. "Alright. We've shared. Your turn."

Sonic blinked and looked away. "I don't know how to say it."

"Just do it. We have all the time in the world."

There was a long pause before the hedgehog swallowed hard.

"I…Even though I do quite a bit of running, I've always liked it when I can just be still and relax," he began hesitantly, playing with his bare, blue hands. "It's nice to slow down every once in a while, you know? Anyway, I was hanging around a lake, watching the fish jumping around and enjoying the fishermen's banter. I fell asleep. I woke up to a gun in my face. It was dark and the only light was from the moon and stars. The man didn't say a word, just stared at me, finger on the trigger. I stole the gun from him and began teasing him. I can't remember what was said. There was a bang. I…I don't know how it happened, but he was shot. I saw the bullet go into him. I can do that because of my speed abilities, and it can affect my sight. I…I just…He didn't get up. By the time I could move to check his pulse…He was gone."

"You have no clue how you shot him?" Shadow asked.

"I…I think I was swinging the gun around on my finger. Then I swung it upright and grabbed it a little too hard. I'm not sure, but that's what I remember. It hurts to think about it. It's sharp, but I don't want to relive it."

"We understand completely."

Sonic felt something wet on his face and he reached up to find tears on his cheeks. He gave a shrill laugh.

"I'm crying!" he sobbed.

"It would appear so," Shadow said. "Would you like a…hug?"

"I…I don't know," Sonic moaned.

Knuckles and Shadow came on either side of him, wrapping their arms around him. It should have been awkward. It should have been uncomfortable. It should have felt wrong. It should have, but it didn't. It was comforting and nice. They knew what he was going through. They had felt the crippling guilt, the debilitating pain, the paralyzing shame. And he had only killed one man. They had killed multiple. He cried in their arms and felt safe. Nobody else he knew would ever understand. Ever.

Sonic awoke the next morning lying on his bed. He felt better. Much better. He walked out of the building to find his two companions eating. He happily joined them. Shadow chewed thoughtfully on a bite of bacon then swallowed.

"So, are you going to be alright? Can I leave or do you need me here still?"

Sonic paused. Shadow wanted to leave? Well, Tikal had only restrained him to the island until Sonic had spoken about what was bothering him. So the next question was, did he still need him? Did he?

"I'm not sure. I feel a lot better. Just knowing that I'm not alone, that you've gone through it, too, helps a lot. Maybe stay until tomorrow and see?"

"If that's what you want." Shadow said, sipping his milk.

"I thought you didn't mind helping?" Sonic asked, noting Shadow's tone.

"I don't. But if you lie and say you're alright when you're not, that's irritating. I'd rather you tell me the truth now instead of being teleported back here with no warning whatsoever. Knuckles has done it three times. M.E. and Tikal are much more searching of his intentions, though he's more honest about it now."

"Be honest yourself, Shadow. Two of those times, you were just as torn up as I was," Knuckles said firmly.

Shadow's cheeks turned a delicate shade of pink. "I shouldn't need anybody."

"Neither should I," Knuckles growled.

"Ditto," Sonic agreed.

"And that is the very reason you three do need each other," Tikal said. They looked at the Master Emerald.

"What do you mean, Princess?" Knuckles asked politely.

"You three are fiercely independent, so you understand each other better than, say, Tails or Rouge."

"Rouge is quite independent," Shadow replied.

"But she is female."

"True. I don't really understand what goes on in her mind half the time," Shadow admitted.

"Same with Amy," Sonic said with a shake of his head.

"I don't like Rouge," Knuckles growled. "She keeps trying to steal M.E."

"She likes gems. Really big ones," Shadow said in amusement.

"Well then," the echidna said importantly as he waved his hand at the Master Emerald. The other two were rather surprised when the jewel levitated then shrank down small enough to fit easily in the center of Knuckles' palm. "Still too big?"

"Yes. That looks just like a Chaos Emerald. She loves those, too."

The gem got even smaller, settled between Knuckles' thumb and forefinger. He smiled. "And now?"

"Better. Though she'd still steal it, but not for the size or power of it," Shadow snickered.

"Knuckles," Tikal scolded with a laugh. "You know M.E. doesn't like you playing with its size. Put us back."

"Yes, Princess," Knuckles chuckled. He tossed the tiny gem toward the shrine and it was its proper size again.

"Oh! You just have to show off!" Tikal teased.

"Of course. That's the best part about having friends."

Sonic paused then smiled. Yeah. They were friends. Not the same kind of friendship as his relationship with Tails, but friends nonetheless.

"You guys are awesome," he said fondly.

"Eh, you're annoying," Knuckles replied with a wink.

"Amen to that, brother," Shadow laughed.

They paused and glanced at each other.

"You know that you can't tell anybody what we told you last night, right?" Knuckles asked.

"Yeah, and we won't tell anybody what you told us. That's the agreement," Shadow said darkly.

"Well, duh! I wouldn't want anybody to know what I did. Or you. We're connected now. I can respect that you don't want anybody to know about Maria. That's very personal. There's stuff you haven't told me, but I can't expect everything at once. As for Knuckles, he's sorta in the same boat as me…He isn't telling me stuff either, but I'm used to that."

"What am I not telling you?" Knuckles asked.

"Your past. You always say you don't know it, but after the past couple weeks, I would bet you do. You just don't tell anybody."

It was Knuckles' turn to blush. "Yeah, well, you try telling somebody that you were raised by a spirit and a jewel."

"Aw, Knux!" Sonic laughed. "It's cool. I definitely believe you now. And I think Shadow does, too."

"Yep," Shadow replied. "He's had some funny moments. Like drawing pictures for M.E. and Tikal. And learning how to swim by trial and error."

"There were quite a few near death experiences," Knuckles told Sonic. "I came to in front of the emerald, coughing up water, many, many times."

Sonic immediately looked nervous. "Yeah…"

They stared at him for a few moments then stood. Shadow grabbed Sonic's hand and led him away from the emerald, Knuckles following. Sonic grew more nervous when he saw the pool they were heading for.

"No!" he wailed. "No! I can't swim! Let me go! Please!"

"Calm yourself, Sonic," Knuckles said. "From this direction, the pool slopes. Just walk right in."

Sonic was resisting as best he could as the two beings, both stronger than him and one just as fast, led him waist deep into the water. He stood there, shaking from head to toe. Shadow came up behind him, grabbing his middle to keep him there.

"Now, relax. Water is not your enemy, Sonic. Relax."

"But I can't swim!"

"Why not?" Sonic shivered again and stared at the crystalline substance. "Talk to me, Blue Boy. Talk to me."

"I…I just never took the time to learn. I mean, I had a terrible accident in a river while fishing. I've been afraid of water ever since."

"What happened at the river?" Knuckles asked as they slowly walked deeper; Sonic should have obviously noticed, but he was talking so he didn't.

"I fell in and almost drowned. It was terrible. I kept swallowing water. When my cousin pulled me out, I threw up water forever." He suddenly saw how deep they were and began fighting.

"Relax, Sonic! I'm going to help you learn how to tread water, alright?" Shadow asked. "I'll hold onto you until you're ready for me to let go."

"No!" Sonic shrieked.

Shadow and Knuckles held him down until he began to weaken, which took quite a while, even with him using all his strength. He finally went limp, whimpering and shaking. They nodded when they realized he was resigned to his fate.

"There, was that so hard?" Shadow asked with a snort. "Now, put your arms out to the side. Yes, just like that. Now move them back and forth. Perfect. We're going to go a little deeper so that your feet won't touch…"

"I don't want to," Sonic moaned.

"Relax, Blue Boy. Knuckles and I won't let you drown," Shadow snickered as he moved Sonic deeper. "Can you touch?"

"N-no."

"Now, don't panic, but slowly kick your feet. Speed up as needed until you're supporting your own weight."

"Don't let go!"

"I won't…yet."

Sonic swallowed as he did as Shadow said. He fell into a rhythm as he concentrated on his body.

"This isn't so bad," Sonic said.

"And you're doing it on your own, too," Knuckles laughed.

Sonic looked up and realized that Shadow was standing over by the echidna. He was so surprised that he stopped moving. The next thing he knew, he was sitting in the shallows by Shadow and Knuckles, coughing up water.

"That's a good first lesson, I'd say," Knuckles said, idly stroking Sonic's hand.

Sonic nodded along with Shadow, grabbing the red being's hand. "Your hands are so soft when they're dry. Softer than mine are."

"Yeah…I can't help that. I don't know why, either. I spent my whole childhood not wearing gloves or shoes."

"It isn't just his hands and feet," Shadow said in amusement. "His whole body appears to be soft without anything added. You just can't usually tell because of your gloves. And the softest part?"

Shadow leaned over and took hold of the dry part of the echidna's dreadlocks. Knuckles growled as Sonic did the same.

"Whoa! It's cuddly!" Sonic laughed.

Knuckles snapped his teeth at the blue hedgehog, and Sonic yelped and skittered backward. Shadow smiled at him as he received the same treatment.

"Almost," Shadow said with a nod.

"Yeah. Almost," Sonic chuckled.

"I hate people touching my dreads, Shadow. You know that."

"Why?"

"Same reason you don't want me to do this," Knuckles said, then reached over and ran his hand down one of Sonic's quills. Sonic shuddered, slapping his hand away.

"Right. Personal and sensitive."

"Knux doesn't mind me doing that, but we've been friends longer," Shadow said, running his hands along the red locks. "He's just shy about liking it."

"Yeah. Well, I'm sure we'll get closer," Sonic said. "Now, I didn't get to eat much breakfast."