Sonic Series Fan Fiction ❯ Mountain Dew Commercial ❯ Mountain Dew Commercial ( Chapter 1 )

OK, THIS ISN'T EVEN A STORY, BUT I WAS JUST REALLY BORED WHEN I WROTE THIS…

 

IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A LITTLE COMMERCIAL FOR MOUNTAIN DEW, STARRING SHADOW…

 

YEAH, SO, HERE IT IS!

 

“ACTION!” yelled a guy through a megaphone. The little red light on the camera flashed on and Shadow started talking in a droning voice that made you think he was dead.

 

“Hello there,” he said. “Are you tired of that nasty Sprite? And the dry, bland taste of Coca-Cola? If you have, run to your nearest convenience store today, and pick up a bottle of Mountain Dew now.” Shadow then holds up a bottle of Mountain Dew and starts drinking it, but he spits it out immediately.

 

“Blah!!!” he shouts. “How can you expect people to buy this shit?! It tastes like watered down piss!”

 

“Well,” started the director. “It's not your opinion now, is it?”

 

“Well,” Shadow mocked. “It might not be my opinion now, but I think I have the right to give my opinion.”

 

“Fine,” the director said. “Take 2… ACTION!”

 

This time, Shadow was barking like a carnival promoter.

 

“Hello there,” he shouted. “Is Sprite the lamest drink in the world to you? Do you hate Coca-Cola so much, you want to kill the person who created it? Well, these drinks aren't half as bad as this crap that they call Mountain Dew.” He holds the bottle up to the camera. “You see folks, this concoction tastes and smells like piss…”

 

“CUT, CUT!!!!!!” the director shouted. “What the hell are you doing?! We're promoting this drink, not telling people to despise it!”

 

“I'm just speaking the truth.” Shadow said.

 

“Well, stop speaking the `truth' and just read the damn cue cards already!”

 

“Alright, alright already! But I'm drinking that again…” Shadow said.

 

“Ok,” the director said, again. “Take 3… ACTION!”

 

“Hey there all you people out there!” he started. “You know that Sprite drink right? And what about Coca-Cola? Those drinks are so nasty. But you know what drink is really good? MOUNTAIN DEW! Yeah right… So, run to the nearest convenience store and pick up a bottle of Mountain Dew today! And remember, DO THE DEW. `Do the dew'? What kind of crap ass slogan is that?!” Shadow screamed. “Sounds like you're telling people to sleep with their hair!”

 

“I'll tell you what kind of slogan it is… A GOOD ONE!” said the director, now starting to lose his patience with the stubborn hedgehog. “Now… stop messing around and read the damn cue cards already!”

 

“FINE!” Shadow yelled.

 

“Ok,” said the director. “From the top… again. Take 4… ACTION!”

 

“Hello there,” Shadow stated. “Are you tired of the same old bland taste of Sprite? And what about the amount of caffeine in Coca-Cola?” he started; he looks down at the back of the bottle and sees the amount of caffeine in it. “Dude! Caffeine is the 2nd ingredient in this crap! How can we say…”

 

“CUT!” the director yelled, but Shadow just kept on lecturing.

 

“…that Coca-Cola has less caffeine than this crap?! This has waaaaay more caffeine than Coca-Cola! And not to mention it tastes like watered down piss!”

 

“Ok, you know what, forget it!” said the director. “I don't know why they let you do this commercial anyways. I mean, what happened at them damn auditions that put those judges out of their right minds?!”

 

~~Auditions~~

“I swear, if you don't let me do this commercial to get the word about this cancer causing substance out to the world…” Shadow screamed, as the judges started backing away, terrified for their lives (literally). “CHAOS…”

 

“Ok, OK!” said one of the judges. “Just as long as you don't kill us!”

 

“Ok,” Shadow said. “So, what time tomorrow?”…

 

~~End Flashback~~

“That was crazy…” Shadow muttered.

 

“What was crazy?” asked the director.

 

“Oh, nothing…” Shadow said.

 

“Ok, well, are you gonna do it right this time, or do I have to have security come get you to escort you out of the studio?”

 

“Well,” Shadow said. “I do enjoy a challenge, so… DOOR NUMBER 2!”

 

“Just, get out…” said the director.

 

“Fine,” Shadow said. “But I will be back! Mark my words!” And he walked towards the door and grabbed his coat off of the coat hanger; and he walked out the door, but not before he flicked off the director.

 

“*sigh*… Now what?” the director said. “I can't do a commercial without a spokesperson…”

 

“I'LL DO IT!” yelled a certain red echidna.

 

~~Director Flashback~~

“Coca-Cola…” Knuckles pondered. “Wait a minute… THERE'S COKE IN THIS! YOU CAN'T SELL THIS TO KIDS!”

 

~~End Flashback~~

“Oh no,” the director said. “Not you again…”